The decision to undergo breast reconstruction was one that I contemplated over many many years. I knew it was something I would always do - but deciding when to do it was the biggest decision. Mother Nature got it a bit wrong with me, and I was born with Poland's Syndrome. Born without a right pectoralis major muscle I was sentenced to a life of gross breast asymmetry (in the absence of surgery.) Not much fun growing up - being fitted for a breast prosthesis in my early teens, I lived with the challenges of my "little secret", and hoping that my prosthesis wouldn't disappear when in the pool or swimming at the beach. I suppose prior to my reconstruction I knew nothing else, that was my normal.
After weaning our final child, I decided that the time was right for reconstruction - I owed it to my teenage self from all those years ago, and booked another consult. A very productive appointment - I basically advised Dr Kennedy that psychologically I couldn't contemplate multiple procedures and informed him that he had "one shot at it" - looking back now that was a pretty selfish request from me -to expect him to implant one side and reduce the other side to match all in one theatre session! My fears were many - past anaesthetic complications certainly heightened my anxiety but I had nine months to prepare so I focussed on shedding the kgs, to be my ideal weight for life by the surgery date. I did struggle getting the weight down and believe perhaps I may have been subconsciously sabotaging my own pre-surgery preparation. Finally three months before the surgery the adrenaline kicked in and I broke through the weight and psychological plateaus of the previous months. I was on fire, in "the zone", pumped for reconstruction and raring for a new chapter in my life.
After a few hours in theatre, I finally woke up, firstly relieved that I was alive and then excited at the wonderful bulge on the RHS of my chest, seen through groggy eyes. Although my breasts felt numb they looked bloody impressive from where I lay. After a dose of "Zofran" I was up and feeling amazing. I don't know how many times I palpated my chest that afternoon and evening - eager to visualise Dr Kennedy's handiwork. I felt so incredibly proud and excited - a new chapter in my life had just commenced. Who needed heavy pain relief? The excitement and euphoria were the best analgesia ever!!
Thankfully I recorded my experience all those years ago as I didn't want to forget the amazing journey I travelled. Sure there were times after surgery when some dark memories from the past surfaced and needed to be dealt with. There were those "why me" moments when I recalled the awkwardness of school swimming lessons, slumber parties and being fitted for prostheses all those years. I was so outcome focussed leading up to the surgery that I didn't ever imagine what life would be like post -surgery. I have come so far! I am now 7 years post op and still travelling strongly. As I remember the years past I remember how Dr Kennedy advised that his goal was to get me "looking good in a bra" - he smashed that goal - my breasts look great in a bra or without.