Am I losing grafts? How do care for/wash hair 12 days + post HT to ensure best results possible? (photos)

It is best to contact your doctor.  Your doctor can show you and even wash your hair at the clinic.  Otherwise keep at it.  It seems like you're doing a good job.

At 12 days it's pretty difficult to lose grafts. At this point you can rub the shampoo in, which should loosen the crusts up and help remove them. The grafts won't come out if you just rub your scalp gently with your fingers. You can even use baby oil if the shampoo isn't enough to get all the scabs, it'll just take a while to rinse out.

Check out the link in our site that walks you through every stage of after hair transplant.  We recommend washing hair normally the way you always do after the first 5 days from your hair transplant.  At this stage your grafts are taken and you can treat them normally. We ask our patients to keep shampoo longer (10-20 min) after day 5 if they still have scabs.  That helps them be able to remove their scabs easier. In your case at day 12 you should wash your hair more aggressively.  I see you still have a lot of scabs that should have been gone by now.  

An FUE is treated just like a regular hair transplant with regard to the recipient area, but the donor area has open wounds which require daily washing with soap and water. Within 3 days of surgery, you can resume full activities, heavy exercises if you wish. The recipient area requires daily washes as well to keep the recipient area free of crusts. I generally recommend the use of a sponge and supply my patient with a surgical sponge to fill with soapy water and press on the recipient area daily. By repeating this daily, all crusts can be washed off without any fear of losing grafts. IF any crust are present, use a Q tip and dip it into soapy water, and roll it on the crusts and that will lift them off without dislodging them, but never rub them, just roll the Q tip on the recipient crust. I like to see no evidence of any crusting in the recipient area and the crusts from the donor area gone in 7-10 days with daily washing.