Numbness and pain 14 months post neck lift continued. What can be done to resolve this?

Your painful pea-sized bump might represent a possible suture granuloma if one was placed in that location. Treatment might require exploration and removal and/or antibiotics. Your pain might be related to this, even under the chin. However, numbness might not resolve as it is possible to have numbness even with the best results.

It sounds like there's a lot that you are contending with.
Since you're 14 months post-op at this point and you aren't getting where you want with your surgeon, it's time to see another surgeon for their opinion and guidance.

The pea-sized, painful lump sounds concerning for a neuroma which may also explain the numbness in that region. If that is what's present, excision is warranted.

Regarding the numbness, map this out at your consultation so your surgeon can explain the innervation to the region and what may have occurred to explain this.

sadly, it sounds like you have had a not entirely positive experience from your facelift.

The lump behind your ear may well be some stiff and scar tissue which we see. Without a photo it's hard to tell.

The numbness may sadly be permanent. It is a well-known complication, especially in the distribution you describe. The only thing I can tell you is that all of the symptoms for progressively improve over time, but they never completely go away. Unfortunately people imagine that facelift surgery will be invisible and without any complications and this is very rarely the case.