30 year old female (in pain), with significant bone loss. Do I have a say in whether or not I have all my teeth extracted?

I would suggest not looking to extract your teeth at such a young age.  The teeth supply massive proprioceptive information into you brain thru the trigeminal Nerves.  After amplification in  th eReticular Activating system it is over 50% of all input to your brain.  There are at least 29 different nervous receptors in the periodontal ligaments.  I would suggest careful evaluation, eliminating problem teeth and looking for underlying medical issues related to bone loss.  Combining implants and natural teeth protects your CNS.  I frequently see people where full dentures or implant supported dentures are the only treatment but it sounds like you have better options.  There are many specialists who will happily take out healthy teeth and place implants but that does not mean it is a good idea.

as your issue is with bone loose due to unknown factor , so i am not advising you implant denture followed by extraction of teeth. best option is save teeth and go for implant for missing teeth. its my request to upload x-ray so i can guide u better.

Ahile12,If your dentist is confused, definitely see someone else.  It sounds like you have an agressive form of periodontal disease and this cannot always be managed.  You are better off to start looking at options that preserve the bone that you have and worry less about the teeth.  So many people in your shoes do not find the right provider or procrastinate until it is too late.  Then they need expensive bone grafting or they are only candidates for the most risky types of surgery.  It is very important that you consider all of your options at this point and get good advice from dental professionals that understand what is going on and can give you the appropriate diagnosis.  You can visit our website below to get some ideas on what might be right for you when it comes to treatment options.  We also just wrote a book that could be very helpful in helping you find the right doctor to meet your needs.  On our website you can request a copy of the book for free.  We will send it to you in e-book form.  

SNAPINDENTURES OR ALL ON4 , BY NOBEL BIOCARE.
There are 2 ways of restoring this , the first one could be with Snapindentures,
 with 8 minimplants, upper and 8 minimplants lower, 
you will have a strong support with  snapindentures, 
 and you will have a great result within a couple of days,
 shape size and even color,
 you will have that smile you always wanted back with a great confort and support. 
All on 4 By Nobel Biocare, 
its the best way to go if what you want is a screw retained  bar, 
that you do not remove ,
 also you will have a strong solution,
 extractions (if you need them) and immediate setting of implants are done at the same proceedure, 
and within acouple of days, you will be able to enjoy, a great smile ,
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that smile you always wanted, this is the moment, shape, size and even color, you will be able to change.
 But yes, you have a solution!