How to get rid of deep self-harm scars and find an understanding doctor experienced in this?

First, I'm so sorry you went to a plastic surgeon (and physician) who became uncomfortable with how you got your scars. There is really no excuse for a doctor who doesn't understand what self harm is, and who can't provide good counsel and a compassionate attitude for it. If you can't find that in medicine, we are missing our calling. I went into Plastic Surgery to help heal scars that come with trauma. For me, it was a terrible car accident that would have been truly disfiguring, were it not for the plastic surgeons who operated on me. Even without that experience, I believe I would still be human enough, kind enough, and (frankly) clinically knowledgeable enough to understand that many of the scars my patients have come from difficult experiences, and are not uncommonly self-inflicted. Next, I wanted to acknowledge where you are now, and that you have come from a place where your pain was translated to self-harm, to a place where you want to remove those scars.As far as how to fade the scars, it sounds like scar revision has helped (those must have been deeper, and again I'm sorry you went through that.) For the remaining white, thin, textured scars, probably the best option is laser. Regarding laser:-CO2 laser, or possibly a Fraxel (with proper settings) -call plastic surgery offices, ask what kind of lasers they have, and whether they are targeted for scar removal.To be honest, I can't promise that the laser will make a significant difference on old, fine scars. Much of what laser does has to do with how collagen forms in the scar, and often if it is already fine and white, your body's healing has done more work than a laser can do. Still, addressing the texture may be possible, and you never know until you try. What I would definitely offer you is kindness and encouragement, and the knowledge that you are accepted, scars and all. Best of luck, and I am glad you are in a healing place.