How Do I Speak to my Kids About my Surgery?

Question

I am a mother of 2, about to have a mommy makeover. My son is 6 and my daughter is 10. I don't know how to tell them about my procedure. My daughter is old enough to acknowledge the physical changes, and since she's starting the training bra phase, I know mommy's new breasts will be very interesting to her. Have you ever had patients share how they handled this?

James E. Chappell, MD · Answer

Most of my patients undergoing this, or pretty much any other cosmetic surgery, will, in fact, tell their children that they are having a "Mommy surgery" and, as mentioned, be short on details. Your children WILL tell everyone about it, so the less detail they know, probably the better. But certainly they need to know that you will be "resting a lot" and they even like that they can be helpful to Mom while she is recuperating.

Brent Moelleken, MD · Answer

I have always felt that most children are quite capable of dealing with their parents' surgeries... provided they are dealt with honestly.

	This is of course a very personal decision, and parents must consider that children will repeat what they are told in school, so the choice of words used can be important.

	It is also usually advisable to be candid with immediate family members about the nature of plastic surgery.

Robert Kearney, MD, FACS · Answer

Honesty is the best policy but I would be short on details. Basically you tell them your body has changed with aging and the pregnancies and you are putting things back the way they were. After the procedure they may ask for and you can give them more details but you will be surprised how little they care once given a simplified answer.

Eric A. Marchant, MD, FACS · Answer

While it is best to speak honestly with children about the fact that you're having surgery, at the ages of 6 and 10, it is not necessary to give the intimate details. Most children just want to be reassured that Mom is going to be home in no time and that she is going to be fine- a little sore, but just fine. It's best to keep the conversation on the level of the ages of the children with reassurance that Mom will take some time to recover but will eventually look and feel better than ever!

Ramon Navarro, MD · Answer

please always tell the truth to kids in order they keep always feeled protected by an adult at home, this will bring security to both patients and family preceseally about time at hospital

	digale siempre la verdad a los niños en casa para que se sientan protegidos por el o la adulta que permanecera en casa con ellos , sobre todo el factor tiempo en el hospital esto les dara seguridad a ellos

How Do I Speak to my Kids About my Surgery?

Answers (5)