I am having rhinoplasty surgery, and I don't know whether I should tell my friends and family about it. I'm afraid they will think I'm vain or judge me for having it done. What do you think? Should I tell?
Should I Tell my Friends and Family About my Rhinoplasty Surgery?
Doctor Answers 23
Loved ones are often supportive of rhinoplasty surgery but the choice is yours
We find that the decision to tell friends and family is a very personal one that largely depends on you and your relationships.
For most of our patients, we find the question of telling friends and family is very simple and they find that the added support helps in making the entire process easier.
Occasionally, however we have some patients who feel that they have family or friends who simply will not accept their decision to proceed with surgery. Occasionally, these patients want to remove some family-defining characteristic, such as a nasal hump that they feel their family would want them to keep.
For other patients, especially those who are still in school, we will wait to have surgery over the winter or summer break so that changes are not quite so obvious to classmates.
Overall, however we have found that the social stigma that used to be associated with plastic surgery is no longer really an issue and, in general, when our patients discuss their reasons for wanting to pursue surgery, their families and friends are generally much more supportive throughout the process than you may otherwise expect.
In those cases, when our patients are from out of town or when they do not have support, it is important to have a comprehensive team and program to help take care of all your postoperative needs and to make you feel comfortable every step of the way.
Ultimately, the choice to have surgery should be yours alone. So, you can consider what others will think, but you should do what will make you most happy. Often, involving loved ones can make for a very positive experience.
The decision to talk to family and friends about surgery is a personal one
Each patient is very different in terms of their willingness for others to know they have had surgery. I have some patients who have gone out to the mall the day after a rhinoplasty (while still wearing their nasal splints) and have been very public about their procedures on social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter. Other patients hide out in their homes or in hotels for 10-12 days following surgery until they are completely confident that no one would know about their surgery.
Your decision to undergo rhinoplasty or any facial plastic surgery is a very personal one and while it is helpful to have the support of family and friends, you should not feel obligated to tell anyone if you feel you may be unfairly judged.
Best of luck,
What will the others say? Doing surgery to please you and not someone else
The most important person you have to please is yourself. If you are having the rhinoplasty performed in order to achieve a certain response from others, stop now, and re-evaluate. Your concerns are real. People will judge you, that's the reality and it will be for different reasons. It may be because of the money you spent; it may be because you want to change your ethnic appearance; it may be because they are insecure about their appearance, etc. Do the surgery to please you, otherwise you may be disappointed.
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Telling Others About Rhinoplasty
Telling others about your rhinoplasty is of course a personal choice.
As with any other personal choice, people may or may not judge you or be supportive. We cannot control other people's feelings.
The most important part of this process is your feelings about yourself and your confidence in your choice to undergo an elective cosmetic surgery. That doesn't "make you vain" (a disproportionate concern with one's appearance); it just means that you care about your appearance.
Rhinoplasty is a personal decision
The first key entity is how secure are you with your rhinoplasty? You need to be secure with your surgery, your reasons for having surgery, etc before you bring the issue up with your family and friends. If you are not secure, their comments will affect you from a psychosocial standpoint.
Furthermore, your family and friends can be a useful support system. However, you know them best. If you don't think they are going to help...don't bother.
Sharing The Truth About Your Cosmetic Surgery
Sharing the fact that you have had cosmetic surgery with your friends and family is a very personal decision. I do suggest that if the changes you are expecting will be obvious, that you go ahead and share this information before-hand as it is likely that they will figure out anyway. Rumors tend to be more troublesome than public declarations which quickly put the subject behind you. If you believe that the changes will be subtle, and you believe that others will judge you negatively, I suggest you keep it to yourself. Keep in mind, often times rhinoplasty surgery goes unnoticed even with significant changes. An out of proportion nose tends to be a distraction that is quickly forgotten once it blends in. Unlike surgery for something like breast augmentation where you are adding an attraction, rhinoplasty is more about removing a distraction.
The most important thing is for you to be comfortable and confident with yourself. This procedure is not for your friends and family, it is for you.
Revealing your rhinoplasty to friends and family
This is a very personal decision and varies from person to person. Some people tell everyone they know that they had a rhinoplasty and others don't even want their significant others to know. There certainly is nothing to be ashamed of but only you can answer that question for yourself.
Sharing your Surgery
Although this is always a very personal choice, we have found it is beneficial to have close friends or family members who are supportive during the surgery and post-operative course.
You are not doing the surgery for them; you don't need their approval. However, it is good to share your feelings with those you respect.