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It sounds like you have great concerns, but this is surely not something you can do on your own. Looking and feeling great is important, but certainly not something you can take into your own hands. If this is a financial issue for you, there may be a solution. Many surgeons offer health care payment options through a nationally recognized financial lender called CareCredit. Please discuss your aesthetic goals with a Surgeon and see if this option may work for you. I wish you the best of luck.
I would recommend you save up your money or open a credit line. Doing any procedure at home is both illegal and immoral and would be fraught with disaster.
No, there are other options to pursue that would be safer. If there is a teaching hospital near you, see if you can get assistance from them. If not, save or finance and do it properly.
If you are serious, I would urge you to see a Mental Health Specialist to discuss the origins of your feelings. There are many options for paying for surgery, but first things first, as deep-seated insecurities about one's nose are often a manifestation of other issues. If you are being facetious, well, I'd suggest you just keep your nose to the grindstone instead!
Surely you jest! I have been doing rhinoplasties for 35 years and would never attempt to do my own. Please send me before and after pictures if you don't take our advice.