Is it weird or uncommon for the breasts to feel wet and then when you feel them they're not actually wet?

A ruptured silicone implant, especially one that is so old, should be removed immediately. This is for your safety as it can cause serious complications to your health if it is left in.

In general capsular contracture is a permanent hardness of the implant and does not come and go.  It can be caused by trauma, for example a capsule tear that causes some bleeding that may then result in a contracture around your implant.  It may be a good idea to get an MRI to evaluate...

A very large man picked me up and squeezed me really hard to crack my back, horrible idea... You may have caused a capsular and/or implant rupture or more seriously fractured your ribs. See you plastic surgeon to orchestrate your evaluation and what tests should be done 

Everyone has a different protocol for this. Why haven't you seen your surgeon if it's been over a week since your surgery? Our procedure is to remove tape one week after surgery, wash the incisions and then re-tape every other day until the initial scar healing is complete, usually about six...

After breast augmentation many women report hearing and feeling different noises/sensations.  Most of these are totally normal and related to some residual fluid or air in the pocket.. I would suggest following up with your surgeon for reassurance. 

Early after surgery, one side can be more swollen than the other, making it feel firmer. I tell our patients the one thing we can guarantee is that two-sided procedures always heal differently.I also feel a difference when one breast is smaller than the other, and a larger implant is placed into...