Has anyone ever heard of hydrolipoclasia? If so, is it safe/effective?

Hydrolipoclasia is not liposuction, is not surgery, and does not always work. Some do get some improvement, but not all. Your massage lady is not a surgeon so she is limited in what she can do. I would suggest have liposuction that does work to remove areas of excess fat.

Liposuction is the gold standard for the removal of Septimius fat. When done by a sufficiently talented procedure it is the best treatment options in regards to getting quality results that are consistent.
The overall patient satisfaction for all non-surgical alternatives tends to be low.
How was your experience with coolsculpting?
If something turns out to work better, then what’s currently being used it will quickly become the standard of care. If cool sculpting works better than Liposuction then all plastic surgeons would give up doing Liposuction.
Hydrolipocalasia will most likely leave you underwhelmed. Even if it’s effective at removing fat, the treatment results will most likely be unpredictable.
I suggest having multiple in person consultations with local plastic surgeons in your area.
Best,
Mats Hagstrom, MD