What Surgical Procedures Will Correct Weird Shaped Breasts?

It sounds as if you have a condition called constricted breast or tuberous breasts (some people incorrectly refer to this as tubular breast).
There are many options that have been discussed for management of this. You may want to look this up on the internet.  Many surgeons will use a combined approach.

Good Morning,
From your excellent description it appears that you have a a tuberous breast deformity. This is a condition in which the breast (or breasts) are very narrow at the base (as if you placed a rubber band at the base of your breast and the breast itself was squeezed tightly) causing the breast to appear droopy and the areola to appear very large. This can corrected with surgery that will release the constriction of the breast and reduce the size of the areola improving the breast shape and improving your breast symmetry. This procedure is often accompanied by a breast augmentation to help expand the breast and give it a more natural shape.
I hope that this information helps you.

By the description you wrote, it sounds like you may have a tuberous breast or a constricted breast.  This is a condition where there is a narrow breast with tight lower pole and often herniation of the areola.  This can be corrected with surgery.