I've been reading a lot of stories on Real Self and have been contemplating sharing mine and have decided it is time. I was very hesitant to do so because of how sensitive I am about this topic. Up until recently, I have only told two people- my long term boyfriend and my mum.
I grew up always thinking "one day I will have normal shaped breasts like everyone else." I remember in the grade 10 locker room, with my best friend, having a conversation about just that. She said "Don't worry! I remember mine being like that, but I grew into them and they rounded out, your's will too." But that day never came.
That same year, a girl in my class had an all girls pool party. I was nervous going because no bikini ever fit me or flattered my chest. One girl said in front of everyone, "Oh wow! I thought you had normal breasts like the rest of us, I guess you must wear big push up bra's."
That was a very low moment for me. All of my inside securities had now been made public for everyone to see.
I remember going home and looking online at breast shapes and sized and came across a chart which displayed a graph, comparing them all. I knew at that moment that I had a breast deformity- tuberous breasts. This, I came to learn can only be corrected with surgery.
I began to feel awful about myself and my level of self confidence fell, knowing I would be this way forever. I have never been comfortable in my own skin but I now had a known reason for all of this. Bra's do not fit me comfortably, there is a lot of empty space in the cups and it sticks out. I do not allow my boyfriend to go even near my breasts, let alone see me bare chested. This takes a toll on our intimacy and relationship.
I think about them all day, how uncomfortable I am and how insecure I feel.
I had a consultation in order to inquire about breast augmentation, in attempts to fix my problem. After my visit with Dr Sheina Macadam, she advised me it is a bigger procedure than I had originally anticipated. I am not able to have implants placed, and my breast be round. I need to have a breast lift, fat transfer from my thighs/stomach, which is then injected into my breast where I have a lack of breast tissue, implants, nipple resizing as well as the bands which have restricted the breast, to be cut away. The total length of my procedure is 4.5 hours and will cost me just shy of $17,000.
This was a very big, serious decision for me to make, financially and medically. I have never had any form of a major surgery before. The longest I have been under anesthesia for was 15 minutes for wisdom tooth extraction.
I want to be clear, that when I made my decision and I decided to do this, was to make me happy- nobody else.
A year went by, after saving and planning, I now have scheduled surgery date for November 4, 2017. Words cannot express how happy and excited I am for this. Something I have wanted for SO long is finally happening.
I am going for a pre op. consultation on the 4th of October, which was recommended as I had last seen Dr Macadam a year ago.
I will be posting more as I go through this journey. Pictures to come as well :)
Updated on 2 Oct 2017:
Here are a few "before" pictures.
Updated on 6 Oct 2017:
I had my consultation on October 4th with the amazing Dr Macadam. She answered all of my questions in a lot of detail which helped me put my mind at ease. She is extremely knowledgeable and I have full trust in her expertise.
My specs-
25 years old
5' 5" tall
160 pounds
36 B bra
I am goal is to be around a large C/ D cup size. She has ordered implants raging from 350CC all the way up to 415CC in Natrelle inspria round gel (silicone- fullest round).
She will be performing a Periareolar Incision on each breast while decreasing the areola sizes, while lifting the nipples to a higher location. In the OR, she is going to fit me with the size she feels will be at the least amount of risk of the nipple herniating back out due to the pressure from the implants behind the skin.
The liposuction for fat transfer, she will be taking the fat from my outer thighs which will then be injected into my breasts where the implants will not be able to completely fill out my breasts. She will also be cutting out all the vertical, restrictive bands in both breasts to release the constrictive tissues to assist with giving my breasts a round, non-tuberous shape.
Updated on 9 Nov 2017:
Today I had my first post op appointment and had the bandages removed. I cannot believe what an amazing job Dr Macadam did. She said to me after the operation that it was very difficult and took the full 4.5 hours with her, an assistant and another surgeon. She took fat from my outer thighs and injected 200cc's into my right breast (in the fold) with a 295cc silicone natrel inspra implant. My left breast fat graft of 20cc's in the fold and a 345cc silicone natrel inspra implant. Both are placed under the muscle.
Not going to lie, the first five days were hell. I was slightly regretting my decision to go through with the surgery however, five days in, I feel a lot better, hurt a lot less and can finally appreciate what my body had gone through.
The liposuction sites on my thighs are very tender and sore and i'm expecting the bruising to come any time (I currently have none). It's very tender when sitting or walking, even up until this point.
My breasts themselves feel sore to the touch and very tight up at the top of my chest. I've been wearing my compression bra every minute of every day aside from the few minutes while in the office and to sponge bath.
My next appointment is in two weeks to have the tape around my nipples removed.
Updated on 22 Nov 2017: