47 Years, 2 Csecs, Ready for Nip Tuck!

4 years ago I had a breast reduction, and while I wouldn’t trade my experience, it seems the procedure stimulated massive weight gain in the belly area. I’ve gained about 20lbs all in the stomach and no amount of dieting or exercise has helped. Several doctors have confirmed that this is actually quite common. Would I have still gotten a BR knowing it would trigger this weight gain? You betcha. I’m just annoyed, once again, that my body doesn’t always cooperate. Hoping this surgery will make a difference. Saved up for a long time and so I am quite nervous about it. What if this triggers fat cells to multiply in other areas like my arms? I’m researching like crazy ways to keep the weight off. Although I feel like there is only so much control I have when this body responds to everything with weight gain. Also, this is quite expensive - costing nearly $18,000. I finally found a doctor who was willing to give a little discount if I let them film me. The other doctors were closer to 40k! I only had 10k saved so the other $6k is coming from family who want to help. Why so much? Both doctors confirmed that my belly is bigger than most and where most TTS remove 5-8lbs mine will almost definitely be over 20. All in the belly!
My pre-op is scheduled for next week and my surgery is scheduled for 11/2. Excited. Nervous. All the regular feels.

I had coffee with a friend who had her tummy tuck with Dr. Orloff a year ago and she definitely put my mind at ease. She said he is amazing at helping control the pain and anxiety with a cocktail of meds plus a pain management “button” that numbs the belly from the inside.
Now the only things concerning me are the fact that I tend to gain weight if I am not able to work out and take phentermine - and I also put on weight whenever my body goes through any kind of trauma, like surgery! Also, the money is sort of stressing me out. I have been looking for employment now for more than 5 years (battling gendered ageism for overqualified women, like thousands of others) and I’m wondering if I will ever have any kind of income again. It feels so irresponsible to spend this kind of money when I’m not earning anything. Then again, if I won’t ever find a job again, shouldn’t I give this to myself now while I have the money? So tormented the way moms tend to be anytime they want to give to themselves. Excited to meet my Dr. at the pre-op next week!

I had my pre-op appointment earlier in the week and it made me super emotional. I also didn’t love the bedside manner of the doctor. He wasn’t horrible, but similar to so many other doctors I’ve encountered my entire life who simply don’t believe me that I tend to have rapid weight gain as a response to any kind of trauma- including surgery. Eat less, work out more, was his simple answer. He also lectured me about taking phentermine -which I have been on for nearly 20 years and I’ve never had any issue other than it doesn’t work as well as it used to. It keeps me from gaining, but not because it takes away my appetite. I don’t eat very much as it is. Dr. Orloff suggested I look into gastric bypass and I told him I had, but I was turned away because I eat the same amount of calories as a bypass patient. He, like so many doctors seem to think I was lying.
But that isn’t even the worst part. He sort of shamed me when I told him I wasn’t comfortable giving myself a shot every day after surgery for blood thinners. I ended up being super apologetic (even though looking back, I had nothing to apologize for) because I felt like I was just annoying him and coming off as a high maintenance patient. Yes, I have anxiety- but that is why I ask questions! To calm my nerves! I was in tears all the next day and called the coordinator to be reassured. Thank goodness I did. She helped me see that he was a very talented surgeon - and like most great surgeons, they don’t always have the best bed-side manner. I just needed to feel nurtured and understood, right?
Anyway, really doing my best to prepare. My fibromyalgia always flares when the weather changes and it’s raining here in SoCal- which sucks because I am not allowed to manage it the way I usually do with ibuprofen.
I’m stocking up on protein shakes and Annie’s lentil soups, as well as coconut water and electrolyte water enhancers. I’m not sure yet where I will sleep. I’m writing out instructions to my husband and mom who will be taking over kid duty while I’m healing. I plan to be VERY drugged up. I’d like to feel as little pain as possible.
I truly wonder what my body will be like without this big belly. I’ve always had something big weighing me down. First my breasts and now my belly. Will my center of gravity be off? Will I know how to dress my new shape? I was surprised how hard it was to transition into a smaller breasted woman when started shopping for clothes. It was more of an emotional journey than I expected. Will this be easier? Harder? Similar?
Things that keep me up at night as the count down continues.