Ready to Go Under the Knife for a New Nose and Chin!

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I'm getting married, and I have a rather large...

I'm getting married, and I have a rather large nose. I hate it from every aspect. Front, 3/4 angle, profile, you name it, I hate it. I'd like to be able to look at my wedding photos in the future and not cringe, or have to photoshop them to not feel disgust. I'm from North Dakota and have been researching many surgeons, but am pretty biased on leaving the area to get the procedure done. Not that there aren't good surgeons here, I guess I'll never honestly know, but it's difficult to search in the area when there are so few specialists, and when they also do tummy tucks, boob jobs... that's a dealbreaker. I want someone who works on faces for a living! I remember searching rhinoplasties when I was a teenager - 16 maybe, and again now. I love Dr. Denenburg from Nebraska's work, the fact that he has done multiple nose jobs, and honestly, I remember seeing his pre/post op pictures before! I think he's the same guy I was researching when I was 16!!! So I'm pretty sure he's the one. I emailed him today with multiple shots at various angles, describing how I feel about my nose and chin, exactly what I hate about them, and even pictures of noses I think are cute and fitting for me. I will ask him for a computer simulation of what my nose COULD potentially look like if he works on it, and hopefully he offers financing like most other surgeons do. I love the fact that the consultation is all via email, so I don't have to do any excessive traveling. Does anyone else have any other suggestions for me?

Decided not to go with Denenberg

I received an email from Dr. Denenberg today and boy do I wish I had the money to go with him! He seems very wonderful and all BUT he's EXPENSIVE. I was quoted almost fifteen thousand for rhinoplasty and a chin augmentation. Holy crap! And they don't offer financing like other, less expensive surgeons. Ridiculous! I've started looking at other surgeons, and Dr. Anil Shah seems promising. They only require 500 for a down payment, and they have interest free financing! I have a consultation via Skype with him on the 23rd. The email said I should send pictures in beforehand so he knows, before the consultation, what to expect. I'm very excited, and nervous! My fiance and I have been wanting to go back to Chicago since 2011.

Does anyone know... is it okay to get a full body massage a few days after surgery? If I'm going to be in Chicago for a week, I'll need something to do. I know I'll probably go to the chiropractor before the surgery to help loosen me up, and maybe get a massage too. I am trying to think of relaxing activities to do beforehand, as well as something to do afterwards that won't be too public.

I just realized my first picture didn't upload correctly...

Also forgot to mention

I also failed to mention that they said they could get me in as early as next month if our consultation goes well and I decide on Dr. Shah! How exciting!!! I figured I'd post more pictures of my big ol honker. Some of the folks on here who hate their noses have no idea how it feels to REALLY have a big nose. I'd kill for some of the noses people are naturally born with, yet, hate for some odd reason. But I also understand not liking a feature, no matter how others perceive it. It's YOUR nose, do what you want with it! As will I!!!

Not sure what's going on with my laptop

But it's a real pain uploading pictures! Failing to upload some, duplicating others... grrr! I'll try it again!

I can't get over Katerina Smirnova's face...

At least I think that's who this gorgeous girl on my screen is. Her name popped up when I google image searched it.
She's possibly the most gorgeous woman I've ever laid eyes on. Her profile is absolutely perfect, and I would KILL to have one just like hers! I know it may be a little unrealistic to want her profile, but, a girl can dream. Right?

So I've been thinking...

And I want to get everything done in one shot. Does anyone think I need neck lipo? I've noticed it doesn't take much to give me - not so much a double chin, but no definition from my chin to my neck under my jawbone. I guess I'm just trying to chisel my face all in one go so I don't have to go back for seconds, lol. I was considering getting my lips plumped, but in all honesty, I don't think I want to mess with my lips til they start thinning - so when I'm like, 40. But I'm really leaning towards the idea of neck lipo!

More pictures

I don't know who this is...

But her profile is gorgeous, and probably more achievable for me than Katerina's, being I don't have a jawline quite like Katerina. I refuse to let my expectations get unrealistic.

So I emailed Vladimir Grigoryants last night.

Because someone on here messaged me saying he was great! I looked at his before & afters on his page and he has done A LOT of work! Some of it looks AWESOME, and others... well I think they might have asked to retain some of their original shape, while just making it smaller overall. So I can't let something like that deter me! He majors in CLOSED rhinoplasty as opposed to Shah who does both. I'm not sure the advantages VS disadvantages of each are, and I don't know which I'm a better candidate for, but I figured a consult and free animation before/after picture can't hurt! And it would be nice to travel to Cali... I think the last time I was there, I was maybe 4 years old, lol. I'd like to have some fun in the sun :) but I know anywhere I go, I'll be happy and have a blast! I'm just super excited and this is literally all I can think about! My friends and family are starting to get annoyed with me because I can't seem to talk about anything else for more than a few minutes, then it's back to the subject of my surgery. Oh well. I've been dreaming - LITERALLY - dreaming of the moment I get my nose fixed since I figured out it wasn't just hollywood stars who get plastic surgery. I used to toss and turn at night thinking about the possibilities when I was a fugly little lonely teenager... everyone else had boyfriends and I would say "one day, I'll get my nose fixed and I'll be pretty just like all these other girls." I've had dreams of having a cute little button nose. Not many, but I know I wake up a little sad to see my old nose, still sitting on my face. It has honestly affected me THAT much. Over the years, my self esteem has gone down the drain. I don't even leave the house anymore unless it is deemed completely necessary. I feel so bad for my fiance, I know he loves me for me, and I wish the damage hadn't already been done before he came along. I wish I was comfortable and happy with myself so I didn't have to spend the money. I know there are plenty of famous people out there with noses on the larger side and they are completely comfortable and happy with themselves. But I'm not. I can't be. I can't even count how many people have cruelly pointed out the fact that my nose is big. I knew this guy back in high school, we'd hung out quite a few times but I mostly knew him from mutual friends. We got along great, but the sad thing is, I don't remember anything about hanging out with him. The only thing I remember him by is one of the last times I saw him before he committed suicide, and he told me that if my head was bigger, it wouldn't make my nose look so big. How sad. We had many good times together but the hurt from what he said seems to have blurred everything out. Funny how the psyche works. I can't control it. I can't pick and choose what I remember. My brain just shuts things out, and remembers being hurt more than anything :(
Sorry this was so long. I haven't told anybody that and I needed to get it out. I feel like a bad person for not remembering our good times together.

What are some light I can do after surgery

For the week I'm stuck in a strange city until I get the splint off? Can I do the following things after surgery:
Go to a massage therapist and get a relaxing massage?
Get my hair dyed?
Get a mani & pedi at a salon?
Things that will get me up and out of bed but not where I will be seen by tons of people... and nothing too strenuous on me. Any other suggestions? Are the ones I mentioned good ideas?

I feel stuck.

I have a consultation with Shah on the 23rd and I feel like time is creeping by! I also emailed Grigoryants, as a couple members on here suggested. Other than that, I'm at a loss... It's super hard finding reputable surgeons who have done a lot of work and don't cost Denenberg price!
Also, I can't decide whether to get a chin implant, or genioplasty... I do have somewhat of an underbite...or overbite? My front teeth are farther out than my bottom teeth. Lol. But I have an ortho appointment at the end of this month and I think I'll ask him whether I'm a good candidate for genio or not. My invisalign didn't totally correct the problem and my teeth don't "zipper" as they should. I'm nitpicking, I know... But after so many years of being such an ugly duckling, I'm ready to be a beautiful swan! I know I have a pretty face, but I honestly feel my teeth, chin, and nose are so distracting - and the #1 reason I was bullied back in the day. I sort of want to get neck lipo, but was informed that if I get chin work done, it might stretch that skin and eliminate the problem... and if not, I guess I can always go back, right? I just don't want to pay for something that's not necessary. I also don't want to have to pay for anesthesia twice. Decisions, decisions...

Does anybody have any other doc's to suggest?

Any personal experiences? I want to keep my options open just in case the consultations make me decide not to go with either of these guys... I am completely willing to travel, as long as it's in the U.S. And I'm hoping to spend no more than $6k for the nose and another $2k for the chin. Please, give me some input :)

I've been a little apprehensive to share my story

But it's been weighing very heavy on my chest as of late. I am on probation and my future surgical procedure(s) all depends on my P.O. and when he decides to let me off the hook. I've been on for 3 years and 2 months. To complete my term, I will have to serve another 2 years and 10 months. I'll explain why: I sort of touched base with the fact that I'm from a small town and I've been quite the ugly duckling over the years. Where I grew up, the maximum population hit back in the day at 13,000 people. Again I emphasize, SMALL. TOWN. Nobody wanted me. Well I went off to boot camp after graduation and came back for the summer. I met a guy. For once in my life I was in LOVE! Long story short, we were all drinking one night, he went on a beer run with a couple friends and when he came back, these guys were in the middle of raping me. He said I wanted it, did nothing about it, and proceeded to let his best friend beat me up as I tried to explain. Fast forward a few months, and we started getting intimate again. He was using cocaine and ended up getting me pregnant, and didn't believe me when I told him. I was too scared to tell anyone, so I never had any doctor visits and ended up losing the baby. Fast forward again, and I met a guy named Jimmy who, had some serious mental issues I had absolutely no idea about, claimed he could "take all the pain away". He introduced me to meth, and needles. Fast forward yet again, and I'm getting beat up on a daily basis, accused of messing around on him, and forced to use drugs when I wanted to quit. Now, I feel like everyone looks at me like I'm some dirty junkie with hepatitis (I luckily didn't contract anything from using). I was supposed to be able to get off probation in half the 6 years total for "good behavior," but that date has come and gone, and my probation officer brought to my attention all these "hidden" conditions that he'd never told me about, because I wasn't keeping up with court ordered payments. What I did was saved all my money and paid him in one lump sum, rather than having to deal with receipts every month. Anyway, conditions - one of which was a 7 course class, they meet once a week, and it took me 9 weeks to complete. Cost me $30 a session, plus gas money to drive 60 miles to and 60 miles back every meeting. He'd never heard of anyone passing in as little as 2 months, and sounded surprised when I told him I was done. Another one of the conditions was that I was required to complete a professional evaluation and follow through with the requirements. I had done this back in 2011, and they did not recommend treatment, but unfortunately, lost my paperwork and never faxed it over to my probation officer. Great. So I had to pay another $300 just to get another evaluation. So I did back in February and the lady had to do a "follow up" with my P.O. in order to finalize the process. She left him a voicemail after our meeting but apparently he never got back to her. I talked to her on Thursday to let her know what was going on and she said if he doesn't get ahold of her in a week that she'll close out the account as negligence on HIS part, and recommend no further treatment/classes for me. Great, but my impatient self didn't feel like waiting. I called my P.O. and told him to call her. I shouldn't have, because come a week from Thursday, I could have been well on my way to getting off probation. Maybe 2 weeks at the most. I talked to him Friday right before the end of the work day, and he said now she is recommending a couple classes - nothing extensive or months on end - but she still recommended something. Great. Another set-back. I'm about to lose it! I've had THREE whole years to get this shit done and I love how they waited til last minute to tell me all this crap! I had to struggle to refrain from being a total wreck all weekend, wondering what the hell I'm going to have to do to make this guy happy now. This morning, I got up bright and early and called the lady back. Apparently she recommends a class: drug and alcohol awareness. It's $250 a session. A session is 4 hours. I am required to do 12 hours. $750 fucking dollars. I am in tears over this. What's worse is the class is only every other week, on one day of the week. The next class they have is the 20th, then the one after that is the 4th. I have to wait til all this is done and over with, at least another month, then hope and pray that he signs off on my early release - then he has to send it off to two states attorneys and two judges, they all have to sign off, then I'm off. God knows how long that will take. I was really looking forward to having the surgery in May, but it looks like I'll have to postpone. I just hope my nose is completely healed for my wedding at the beginning of next year. I don't know what else I'm going to do! I'm at my wits end. I just want this to end. When will they decide I've had enough? Wasn't being raped enough? Wasn't getting blamed for it, and accused of cheating enough? Wasn't getting beat up over it enough? Wasn't losing the man I thought was the love of my life enough? Wasn't losing the baby enough? Wasn't being afraid enough? I understand I made some bad choices along the way... I understand I could have talked to somebody instead of using drugs, but I was young, I was afraid, I was silenced. Wasn't being threatened and beaten by Jimmy enough? Wasn't being forced to continue to use enough? Wasn't the mental anguish Jimmy put me through enough? One time, we were staying at a motel. Someone called our phone and obviously had the wrong room. They apologized and hung up. Jimmy freaked out and beat me with the telephone, because "that's what you say when I'm around and you don't want me to find out you've got some side-shit going on?!" When I'd try to leave him, he'd get suicidal, and check himself into mental hospitals after seriously injuring himself. And every time he'd beat me up, his whole family would claim my bruises and bloody face was "self induced" and that he came there, shortly before me, all beat up too.
Wow, I never hit the guy. He was seriously crazy and I am lucky to be alive today to write this. After he got out of prison (he appealed his case that I'm still on probation for, and guess what? He won. He did maybe a few months in jail and I'm still on probation, years later!) he called my mom's house around 4 in the afternoon looking for his stuff back. She said it wasn't there and she had no idea how to get ahold of me. In the few hours it takes to drive from the prison he was at to my mom's house, it was about 11 at night. Somebody broke in her front window. I'm convinced it was him. There was blood, and they said they'd do a DNA sample, but we never heard back from those lazy bastards. I know this isn't a "pity party" blog of any sort, but I can't write all this on facebook... it's way too many people who know me and just want the past in the past. I don't like putting my drama on facebook. I don't like to be depressing on facebook. I really can't stand those people and I don't want to be one of them. But now maybe people can understand why I want to look different. Not only has my self esteem been affected my entire life, but I want to feel like a new person once this bull is done and over with. I want to start fresh. My cases were deferred, so as soon as I'm off probation, all the charges go away. Pray for me, friends. I'm so glad to have found such a supportive site. Sorry for the long story, and thank you to those who read it. I wish in court, what had happened to me in the past could have been brought up, maybe they would have gone easier on me. Maybe I wouldn't still be doing time for something I didn't even want to be a part of. Maybe my nose would be fixed already. I guess it just makes me appreciate everything that much more, be it my new nose in the future, my freedom in the future... whatever it is that I don't have now, I will be sure to appreciate it tenfold. I was smoking cigarettes to help with the stress, but honestly, when I think about the surgery and that I need to be at my prime health for it, it makes me not want to smoke cigarettes anymore. It is a really good motivator!


I don't suffer from addiction. I haven't touched anything since Jimmy went to prison. I'm just scared of him finding me and doing bad things to me. But I have a really good security system. Hopefully that deters him if he ever finds me. As soon as I'm off probation, I'm getting my concealed carrying license. I'm working on things, but for now, it just feels like I am running in circles. It's causing stress between my fiance and myself. We are fighting more than we should. I'm an emotional wreck, and nothing he says is the right thing - it seems to only make things worse. I don't know what to do anymore. I've gone through a depression and feel it coming on again. I don't even get to live with my fiance because he lives in another city for work, and I can't leave the city I was convicted in. My probation officer is convinced I'm not living where I say I am, and I have no idea how to prove to him that I really am here. He really just wants to screw me over, big time. I don't understand why this guy has it out for me so bad. He's a new guy, I've only had him for a few months. The previous officer was cool as heck, treated me with respect and dignity, and didn't make me feel like a piece of scum not worthy of breathing the same oxygen as him. This new guy acts like he's doing me a favor by talking to me. I just don't get it. It's like everywhere I go, I'm treated like absolute crap, and now I can't even do anything about it. I feel like a victim.

Back to square one.

I keep hearing Shah doesn't do "feminine" or "button noses". That it's not his style. His style should be whatever the damn patient wants! I'm getting sick of this endless search. Almost 10 years and I'm still at a dead end with this. Grigoryants is too expensive. I can't spend more than 6k for a nose if I want to get my chin done too. And a wedding? Forget about expensive surgeries! I just want someone to give me an MJ nose already! Lol, jokes!!! But seriously, I want to keep NONE of the characteristics of my old nose. I want a whole new nose. Change is GOOD. So now I'm back to looking for surgeons again. As if all the stress from probation isn't enough. I'm going to blow a gasket!

So I may have found the one?

Dr. Raja Srour. I know he's had his license revoked and some lawsuits, but this was over ten years ago. I've also heard good reviews on him as well. I've seen some of his work and it's just as good, if not better, than the other docs who charge 7-8k for a nose job. He did a revision on someone for only 4k and did an amazing job!!! Somebody tell me he's not too good to be true!?

I've been trying to dig

and Dr. Srour doesn't have a whole lot of info online. It's somewhat deterring, but I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. I want to believe he's the one. I emailed him and gave him my phone number. I found he was awarded slot #5 on America top 10: top plastic surgeons in California. Grigoryants took 8th place. That's a relief, as a lot of people recommend Grigoryants! I'd go with him if he wasn't so expensive!!! If I was getting JUST a nose job, I wouldn't care about price, but I'm getting it in conjunction with a chin implant and possible neck lipo. I can't spend everything on one surgery, and I want to get it all done in one go.

I forgot to post the site:

I edited a picture last night.

This plastic surgery app is amazing.
I've tried taking sexy pictures before, biting my lip, or having my mouth slightly open. And instead of looking "sexy", I look dumbfounded, disproportionate, frumpy, dopey, lazy, washed out, and sluggish - like in the "before" photo
The "after" photo makes me look more proportionate, and alert. My lips are slightly parted and instead of making me look like I'm about to drool, I look like I'm just intrigued or interested in something. Amazing what a smaller nose, a chin, and lack of neck fat can do for a person!
I am seriously praying to God these are the results I get! I absolutely love, love, LOVE my nose in the after picture!!!!!

Had a dream last night

That I had my surgery and was disappointed because the surgeon was too conservative. I really hope this doesn't happen! At least I was in very little pain. Like a 1 on a scale of 1-10. Weird how realistic dreams can be :)

My asymmetrical chin :(

More pictures, more angles

insecurities, insecurities, insecurities!

Perfect nose, front view.

A girl can dream. But I'm sure mine won't come out like this.

I'm trying really hard to find more on Srour...

It's hard. I want to believe he's the one, but with so little info on him and the license revocation... I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever find the right surgeon! The good reviews could be fake. I wish so hard for them to be real because the noses were beautiful. I think after 40 years, one would know what they're doing... should I take the leap of faith? I'll email him now to request a consult.

So I went through a lot of reviews on here today

And I just wanted to thank everyone on realself for taking the time to post before and afters, and review your doctors! I have a list of about 10 doctors now, of whom I liked their work and have heard good things about, and I'm going to call them all tomorrow. Basically, I'm going to ask them four questions, and narrow it down from there.
One: can we do long distance consultations over the internet via email/skype?
Two: what is the average cost of rhinoplasties you perform?
Three: what is your policies on revisions?
Four: what is your revision rate among your own patients?

I guess the revision factor is a huuuuuge one for me - if the doctor messes something up, I shouldn't have to pay again to have it fixed. I've heard too many stories of people who loved their noses when the cast first came off, then after a few months, their dorsal hump started coming back or the tip started drooping... good doctors are the ones who are willing to correct their work and admit when something didn't turn out the way it was supposed to.

On a plus note, I got my certification for completing one of my classes for probation today. I start the other classes on Easter Sunday (weird, I know!) And I'll be 2/3 of the way done with that. My last class will be on Sunday the 4th, and Monday the 5th they'll fax the paperwork on over to my PO, and all he has to do is sign the paperwork saying I deserve an early release - then send it off to the judge and district attorney! I'm so close to being a free woman, just a few more weeks! Which is perfect. I still have my consult set up with Shah on the 23rd and I really hope he's the one. But like I said, tomorrow I will spend the day calling other surgeons and narrowing my list. It's quiet out here in the country, and it's nice being a business owner, so I can still make money even when I'm not working. I get to spend the days researching and browsing and talking to other folks on here... It really is nice. I have a peace of mind knowing I'm not going into this blind. I feel sad for those who do, and end up unhappy. I really do love the way my face looks, even without makeup, which is hard for a lot of 24 year olds to say... I still have friends who won't leave the house without makeup. I feel bad for those people. I love my makeupless face! I just hate my nose :(

I was just going through blogs, reading,

and I came across someone who was upset because the wrong person found out about their nose job and started to gossip. I guess I'm the complete opposite, because with the nose I want, people would have to be pretty stupid to NOT know! I'm just keeping it a secret until I actually have the surgery, because I know there are a lot of unsupportive people out there who would try talking me out of it, or telling me I don't need it, etc. As long as I'M happy with the results, I really don't care what others say about me. At least they are talking about how much money I have to spend on surgery, rather than calling me "that girl with the huge nose" anymore :) Honestly, with my operation, I have no fears, other than the doc being too conservative and me still having a big nose after surgery. Or a droopy tip, being I've never had a droopy tip. I have quite the cute tip for how large my nose is. Anyway, I always figure it's my money, my face, and if I'm going to get the procedure done, I'm not going to waste money on a "natural" or "conservative" operation that I might regret later when it's completely healed and not swollen anymore. No, I'm going to LIKE my results, and if that ends in people talking about me, well, those people obviously have nothing better to do with their miserable time and honestly, HONESTLY, they're just jealous! Jealous we can afford to fix what we hate about ourselves, jealous there's a procedure that can actually fix the things we don't like about ourselves... because with the people who talk - well there's no surgery to fix that humongous horse mouth of theirs with the tiny chicklet teeth and way too much gummage, or that ugly personality of theirs, or their eyes that are too close together.
I normally don't judge others, but when people start talking crap on me, I just like to remind myself that there's a surgery to fix my flaws. Their flaws are a whole new issue, though, and would take a miracle to fix :)

On a side note, I had another dream last night. I think I ended up going with Denenberg, but it might have been Grigoryants as well, and again, I was sad because they were way too conservative with my nose. I turned to my little brother and asked him if he saw a difference, and he said "no". And I ended up paying like $14,000 for it! I could buy a used vehicle for that price!!! I was hoping, in my dream, that it was just swollen, but for how over projected my nose is now, even with swelling after surgery, my nose should look nothing like my nose does now, because in the end, I want more than a third of my nose gone. I almost want it half the size it is now, but that would probably compromise my breathing and functionability, so I'll settle for the smallest it can go without causing issues for me.

I just called a few places

And I really like Ciardullo! I spoke with his secretary and she helped me the best she could. And the doctor even took his own time to answer a couple of my questions directly! The only thing that would deter me is price. Anesthesia is not included in total, and ballpark price range is $6500-9000 :/ I wouldn't mind $6500. I could do that. But no way in hell am I paying $9000 for something when there's a better price out there - somewhere! The secretary was very willing to answer all my questions to the best of her ability, but she kept saying he's very honest and the results you expect might not be what you get. That's kind of weird. I understand there's no such thing as perfection, but I have heard of doctors trying their hardest to get the results the patient was hoping for and that some of them have actually gotten it almost exactly the same as the simulation. There's an art to everything, why specialize in an area if you can't figure it out? I'm starting to get frustrated, so I'm sorry if I sound harsh. I know for a fact there's a doctor out there who can give me the nose I want, and really, that's all I want. I don't want to settle for a straight nose when I asked for a curve. I don't want to have to settle for a droopy tip if I want it upturned. I don't want to settle for uneven nostrils when I pay an absurd amount of money to someone who is supposed to be able to fix it!
I also spoke with Dr. Srour's secretary. Couldn't really understand her. And she couldn't answer my questions! I asked her what kind of anesthesia he uses - she said she's not a doctor and isn't qualified to answer that question and that she's only been working there since February. What the heck? I don't care how long you've been working there, the least you could do is know a little about what they do at the place you're working at! I have one more phone call to make, and a few emails to send off. Wish me luck.

I got a call from the car dealership today

About a month ago I test drove the new 2014 Rav4 and loved it. I just sold my 2011 Dodge Ram 1500 and am looking at a new vehicle that will get great MPG's. Obviously it has to be AWD/4x4 to get around here in the winters, and out of all the SUV's I test drove, I loved the Rav4 the best. As of right now, my fiance and I still have our chevy silverado and chevy camaro, but I'm thinking as soon as they get their new 2015 Rav4's in and drop the price of the 2014's to get em off the lot quicker, I'm swooping in to get the one in the color I want at a discounted price! THAT is what you call excitement :)
We still haven't decided on a location to have the houseboat vacation, but if we can't find people we like to join us, we're just going to say "screw it" and go on a cruise. For my fiance's birthday in August, we really wanted to go to tomorrowland or whatever it's called, but I think tickets are sold out :( I was going to take him to Australia, but with the upcoming wedding, I think we might save Australia for after the wedding. I've been on probation too long. 3 years is a long time. I'm SO ready to get out and do things! Seriously, I may not be on house arrest, but I really do almost feel as if I am - I am free to leave my house, but really what would I do? The nearest Walmart is an hour away, and even then, there's no mall. There's nothing, seriously. We have the highest per capita drug and alcohol abuse rate than most major cities. Why? Because there's absolutely nothing to do . We used to have a mini golf course. Guess what they did? Tore it down. We also used to have an outdoor theatre. you know, the kind you park your car at and tune into the radio station, and then make out the whole time lol. They tore that down too. We don't have ice skating, we don't have clubs, we don't have anything. We have 2 titty bars and about 18 other bars. Kids get bored and if they're not old enough to go to the bars, they go to parties and do drugs. Montana and North Dakota are sad places to be. I love it here, but with the oil boom bringing in a lot of bad eggs, I can't stand it here anymore and the lack of activities just drives me insane. You know I can't even get my hair done right? I go to the salon, and every time I ask for one thing and come out with something not even close to what I wanted. Seriously, my hairstylist just does whatever she feels like doing that day. It's so upsetting. Which is why I can't wait to get my nose done and during the week I'm waiting to get my cast off, get my hair done by a REAL professional :) Enough blahety blah from me for now. Thanks for tuning in, folks :P

Does anybody know about these teaching infirmaries?

It's a teaching hospital; Dr. Watts is a board certified plastic surgeon but decided to do an additional year of residency before entering private practice. More info can be found here:

It says "For a lower cost way of obtaining the highest-quality, hospital-based cosmetic surgery, please click link to our Post-Graduate Cosmetic Surgery Fellowship Program."

I feel confident about this. Called and spoke to the receptionist and she told me to email him pictures!! I read on here a girl got a brow lift, rhino, and lipo for under $5000. WHAT. A. DEAL!!!!!

I love everything about my face except...

I love everything about my face! My high cheekbones, my eyes, my lips, the shape - but you can't help but be drawn to that big ol' honker right smack dab in the middle of my face! My dad and i were talking about the things he passed down to me - one of those things just so happens to be his nose. He said "I know, poor girl"

Just got an email back from Grigoryants

Says he cannot achieve the deprojection I want, and he'll charge me $9500 for JUST the nose! WHAT THE...? No. Just no. What a terrible email first thing in the morning. What a way to start the day lol

I might just go with Denenberg

I really loved his simulation! Even though he might charge an arm and a leg but at least he can give me what I want!

Does anyone know anything about Kenneth Hughes?

I think he might be the one! I'm VERY impressed by his work - honestly, he has after pictures that are gorgeous and hardly swollen because he's just that gentle! I haven't gotten a price quote yet, but honestly, I don't even care. That's how confident his work makes me feel :)
I spoke with Srour earlier today and I decided not to go with him. Rhinoplasty price was fine -$6k, but the chin would be another $4k! How obnoxious. Usually a chin is no more than $3k, but more often in the $1500-$2500 range. Not $4k!
You think for having his license revoked or whatever, that he'd ease up on price to get more clientèle...unless he's not doing that bad. Who knows? Pretty sure I'm going with Hughes :)

Consultation with Shah in the AM

I'm nervous. Need to sleep but am too excited! I've heard a lot of his work is "conservative" but have also heard he'll do something smaller if you want it. I'll let you know how it goes, realself! Wish me luck - I'm ready for this search to be done :)

Shah is the one!

I was quoted $6535 for both nose and chin, and can get in as early as May 22nd, 27th, or the 30th, depending on mine and my fiance's schedules. How exciting, this is really real!!! And my dad hasn't said anything negative - I figured he would! I'm so excited!!!

Forgot to mention

Just because I talk about my dad not saying anything doesn't mean it would have an impact on my overall decision. I feel so bad for people who don't go through with it because of what others have to say. It's your face. Do what you want to it. Shah is able to give me a small nose even though a lot of people tend to request "natural" or "conservative" (I really don't understand those people AT ALL - but like I said - your face, your choice). I told him I don't care if people know i've been "worked on" - I want OBVIOUS results - but GOOD results at the same time. I'm so glad to be getting exactly what I want through someone I trust at a VERY FAIR price - anything over $7000 for both procedures is pure robbery! Just because someone can charge the price, it seems they will. There's no point in overpaying when there are good honest people out there who just strive to give someone a better look for a good price.


These are results I would be happy with! And yes, it's Shah's work!

got bored

And did this :)
Just for fun!

IV drip - good idea?

Is it weird I want to do an "at-home intravenous therapy" in my room after surgery? It's basically an IV drip (just saline), but can also consist of nutrients and vitamins as well. I have a nurse friend who really wants to come with, but my fiance will be coming too. So either of them will be able to administer it (preferably the nurse, LOL). I'd do it myself as I'm military trained to do IV's, but I don't think doing one on myself after being heavily sedated is a really good idea, lol. Anyway I hear people are really parched after surgery, and being I'm getting my nose AND chin done together, I don't know how much moving of my mouth I'm going to want to be doing. An IV drip is much more simple since I'll be just laying there anyways, and it's a much quicker way of not only rehydrating, but healing as well! Some people don't realize how good for us plain ol' water truly is! I already take vitamin c nightly before bed which I hear helps! (I used to take A LOT of vitamins in the morning but quickly realized it was making me tired throughout the day, so now I just take a few vitamins at night) In conjunction with the Vit C, I also take my omega's, calcium, prenatal, and biotin. I will be ordering some Arnica tablets as well as the gel, and I really feel that the IV drip will help speed up a lot of things. I don't like salt (I never add any to food - if it's already on it, oh well), and I hardly drink alcohol - I have a glass of wine with dinner maybe two to three times a month. I don't smoke anymore, and try to be as active as possible! I do yoga every day, and on nice days I take my dogs on a walk, to the beach, etc. I feel my recovery may be speedy, yet, I also hear that to deproject my nose as much as I want to, I'll have to have an open rhinoplasty, and it may take quite a bit of time to get to where the final results should be, because of the skin. The fact that it's spent the past 24 years stretched over such a large mass may make it take a little more time, as opposed to someone who wanted "just the bump" shaved off with no deprojection. I'm okay with open, because this doctor's revision rate, he was telling me, that in over 2000 surgeries, he's only had to revise about 10. He does revisions free of charge on his own patients, so if I do end up having a hanging columnella (which I doubt will happen), he will fix it free of charge. So I'm okay with the open approach, especially since it has advantages in the operating room as opposed to the closed approach. The disadvantages is open takes longer to heal - but I can deal with that. My wedding is a year away, and as long as I end up with the nose I want in the end - healing time can take as long as it wants, but I will do everything in my power to speed it up - if that means IV drip - I'll do IV drip! :)

Can't wait for the day

That I don't have to edit pictures to be happy with the way I look in them. This was my fiancé and me today waiting for sushi at lunch!

Shah's receptionist told me

that he won't do my image morph until the day before surgery when I have my pre-op consult. Seems weird to me, is this normal? I guess it could be because we haven't met in person, and he hasn't been able to feel my skin, so he doesn't want to make me think I'm getting something he won't be able to achieve with my skin thickness/thinness (I'm not sure which I have). One thing I've noticed about his work is that he creates a very high radix, and it isn't very deep - which, lower and deeper is something I obviously want, by the pictures I posted of models, along with the b&a photos of myself I did. I just want to know we're on the same page before I make my appointment. This may mean a trip to Chicago in the (very) near future... I'm also having issues dealing with the fact that I have to wait til I'm off probation completely before I go ahead set my surgery date in stone - I don't know what I'd do if I went ahead and paid to have the surgery on the 22nd, 27th, or the 30th, and my PO decided he was going to lollygag and not let me off early :/
And another part of me is freaking out because if I don't pay for it now, say I do get off probation in the next couple of weeks and somebody else took the spot?! Obviously I'm not going to pay for/set an appointment until after I'm off probation - but it's causing me some serious anxiety, lol. I just want it DONE and OVER WITH :)

I'm so glad the comment section of my page has been taken down, I post here because I want support - not people to tell me "I think you should wait"
I've waited 24 years for this, sillies! I'm 100% sure I'm more than ready! My nose will NOT be joining my fiance and me in our wedding. My nose will NOT be buying a new car with me, and will NOT be moving into our new home with us! I'm ready to say "sayonara" to my old schnoz!
P.S. If you don't like what I post - DON'T READ IT. Simple :)

I keep reading about people who go out drinking

during the healing process... I understand like a year after rhino, but right after cast removal? Some people do it! I think those people are NUTS! Lol. Even 6 months seems a little soon to me - I'm sticking to a strict "no drinking, low-sodium, high vitamin/nutrient, high fruit/vegetable" diet for an entire year after surgery! No wine, no nothing (and I LOVE wine). I guess if I'm going to pay thousands of dollars for a procedure, I'm not going to lengthen and potentially mess up the healing process by doing something that's going to cause swelling (that skin has to SHRINK to drape over the smaller re-shaped nasal bones and cartilage area - why expand it? It's basically going back to square one and drastically lengthening the time it takes to get the final results). How do people not realize this? That's why it takes some people SO long to get the final nose the doctors estimate 9 months to a year to achieve. Some people it takes THREE years - like this guy  ***third party link removed by RealSelf***

I guess ultimately it's your money, your decision... but like I said - if I'm going to spend thousands on plastic surgery, I'm going to make sure it's healed before I try binge drinking or eating a block of salt...
So I've got a question - does anyone know how soon I can go on a 5k after surgery? I probably won't run or push myself too hard - but say I have my surgery late May/early June, could I possibly walk a 5k in late June? Or is that soon not recommended? What about August?

As I sit here

drinking my funky juice (beet, carrot, celery, apple, pineapple, and many more I can't remember off the top of my head - it's actually not bad!), I contemplate getting my neck liposuctioned anyway, even though the doc said it would probably have a minimal difference. I want a better defined jawline, but more importantly, I'm kind of leaning towards the idea of getting my lips plumped with the fat that comes out of my neck, instead of those artificial fillers that only last up to a year. The only problem is I'm afraid of ending up with permanently lumpy lips. I've heard some negative things, but I've also heard positive things. My doc DID say he goes to Montana sometimes (I'm not sure where, but I'm assuming Billings which isn't terribly far), and I could do my post-op check ups there if I'd like. Maybe I should wait and if, later on when we meet up for a post-op checkup, I decide to get my lips done, I can do that. I guess I'd rather have everything done in one shabang, but again... I don't want to mess up an already good thing. Hm, decisions, decisions...
My fiance is afraid of me turning into a plastic surgery fanatic. And to be honest, I kind of am too.
He made me promise that after my nose surgery (which he knows I want my chin done too and he's fine with that), I'd be done, until after I have kids and get my mommy makeover done. So I figure if I get my nose, chin, and lips done all at the same time, I won't have to go in for seconds, therefore, he can't get upset with me. I think I'll talk it over with my doc and see what he thinks :)

Another day down...

Another day closer. I think instead of sitting on my laptop obsessing about noses and chins, I'll go outside on this lovely day and enjoy life. The past week it's been pretty cold out, we even got dumped on by good ol' mother nature the other day. Got quite a few inches of snow :( So I was stuck inside with nothing to do. Soooooooo now that it's gorgeous out - I'm going to go do some stuff to get my mind off everything that's going on right now. Have a good day, folks! :)


I have class in 48 hours (Sunday) and that is it! Monday, I'll fax the paperwork over to my PO and he (should) sign off on my early termination! Then it just has to go through the DA and judge! I'm getting queasy (the good kind?) just thinking about it :D
The first phone call I make when I get off probation won't be my mom, or my fiancé, or my best friend... it's going to be Shah's office to reserve my appointment! Then the condo we're going to stay at, THEN I'll call my mom :)
I forgot to mention, I guess we're just going to drive, being we can take my dad's XL SUV. It's less crowded than a plane and we can make a roadtrip out of it. I'm okay with either driving or flying, I guess. Would have rather flown to save time, but I like the idea of having the whole back of a vehicle to myself and making as many pit stops as necessary. And I won't have to worry about security at the airport questioning my IV kits, or the pressure from elevation change bursting the IV bag, or whatever else could potentially happen. And if I really wanted to, I could bring my dogs. But I'm sure they'd be more of a pain in the butt than anything. Lol. So I'll just leave them with their grandma and her pups. They love to play together in her huge back yard ^_^

Just got off the phone with my PO

Looks like he might be willing to work with me!
I was angry with him about a week ago, because he's been telling me he needs my eval, but when I asked my counselor whether she was going to fax it to him or not, she told me that he told her he didn't need the eval! What a shady little man! He's toying with me. I'm so glad I'm getting on top of things so he can't screw with me anymore. I called her just now and asked her to fax the eval for me. So he'll have that, and after class Sunday, I'll be awarded a certificate of completion that I can bring to him Monday! All he has to do is sign off on my sheet and fax it to the DA's and Judges :) Like I said - hopefully won't take more than a few days, but I'll give it a week before I start freaking out. Haha I'm way too anxious about all this :D :/ >_<


Just got off the phone with Shah's secretary, they still have the dates available (thank GOD) but who's to say in the next week they still will. I really wish I could know exactly how long it takes for everyone to sign off on everything so I could know whether it would interfere with the surgery dates or not. Oh well, one day at a time! I wish it wasn't so windy and rainy here or I'd go outside and give my dad's SUV a much needed oil change! Have to get that done before the trip! I also need to make sure all the tires are good and the lights are in working order. My dad doesn't drive (at all) and it's been sitting for quite a while, so I just need to give it some minor maintenance. I'd love to be doing that right now. Anything that's going to benefit the trip. Anything that has to do with my upcoming surgery. I'm being way too obsessive lol.

Buying some things online right now

I heard a wedge pregnancy/acid reflux pillow is great. I also hear that using a humidifier during healing is nice. Of course I'm going to use Arnica, both the capsules and gel. Bromelain, stool softener, & dramamine. Waterless shampoo, chap stick, cough drops, biotene moisturizing mouthwash, baby wipes, q-tips with hydrogen peroxide and antibiotic cream, extra gauze, rubber gloves and frozen peas to fill, nasal saline, and my IV drip supplies. Green tea & pineapple juice, (my 2 faves besides water!) watermelon pieces to suck on, a big, floppy sun hat, u-shaped travel pillow... am I forgetting anything???????

Well just told my family

Well half of them. We had a little get together for lunch. My older brother, my oldest sister, my youngest sister, my niece, and my mom were all there. I had 3 other nieces and nephews there too but they're too young to know what I'm talking about.
But nobody seemed to care. Lol. My mom just said "ugh, you're so vain".
I laughed and told her "you didn't say that when we got my braces in 5th grade now, did we? It's not about vanity, it's about self-esteem." Then I continued with "it's my money and my face and I'll do with it what I please!"
I don't think she really gave a hoot, though, because then we started talking about my brother's best friend who is like part of the family who also got a not job, along with veneers. Then she chuckled and said "He's SO vain!" (Which he really is, so we all got a good laugh about that). I told them that I had no idea he did all that, but I haven't seen him lately either. I did once a few months ago but it was at a club and it was pretty dark. I knew there was something different about him but couldn't quite put my finger on it! I wonder if that's how it'll be with me? I'm sure everyone will think "there's something different about her but I don't know what! All I know is she got much prettier!" Lol. I'm sure they'll think it's a combination of my teeth being straighter than they were (and everyone knows I have invisalign cuz I brag it up so much), and my hair (I'm going to do something different with it to draw attention away from my freshly cut into, swollen nose - maybe I'll just chop it all off????)
Anyway, as for my family, I think they took it rather well :)

spelling error in last post

My brother's friend got a nose job not a not job lol

The only reason I regret telling my family

Is because now I'll never know whether they would have noticed the change in me without me having to tell them. There's still a couple of sisters who don't know but I doubt everyone else will be able to keep their mouths shut that long & keep the secret, lol. The only downside to having a large family. But I really don't care :)

Bad news bears :(

So as I mentioned above, I spoke with my PO on Friday about getting the paperwork to him and such, well he failed to mention to me that he'd be in the field training for the entire week, and most of next week. So that's awesome - instead of him signing off for me and getting the ball rolling on my early release so that the DA's and judges can take their time with it, I get to play the waiting game... YET AGAIN. I'm so depressed about all this. I called his supervisor and of course she wasn't willing to work with me, because he already made me look like Hitler to her. I had told her that I met all the requirements and my life shouldn't have to be put on hold for his training. All I need is a signature, and she's fully capable of signing off on it herself. She said "you did the crime, you do the time. I don't want my name on your paperwork, being I don't know you". She acts like I hold babies hostage on a daily basis. I ended up bringing up my lawyer and kind of scaring her a bit. She toned it down. I guess most people don't expect what they perceive as "scum" to be able to afford a highly accredited lawyer. You know why I can afford it? Because I'm not scum. I still can't believe the man who forced me to do all this appealed his case and won, yet I'm still suffering for it. They don't care; as long as someone is doing the time for it. And the funny thing? He's now doing 20 years because he has since gotten in trouble AGAIN. Anyway, I talked to the other PO in the office (there's only 2) and he said he'd call my PO and tell him he received the paperwork and that he MIGHT be able to sign off on it. No promises, though. Another thing is, after the PO signs off, it could take the DA & judge anywhere from 2-6 weeks to sign off, depending on how many have to sign off on it, and how busy they are. I found the news out yesterday, so thank GOD I had an appointment with my Dr. right afterwards. He put me on antidepressants and changed my anxiety meds. Said that my probation is the root of all my problems and as soon as I'm off, I can get off the meds. I really don't understand why everything bad that can happen, DOES. I know it will all be over with soon. But right now, I feel like crawling in a hole. Looks like I won't be getting my nose done at the end of this month after all :'(

Well I just got off the phone with the other PO at the probation office

And he said he got a chance to briefly look at my paperwork yesterday, and that he'd go over it in more detail today and get ahold of my PO later this afternoon. If my PO says everything's ok, then the other guy is going to sign off on my case! Maybe I won't have to wait after all :)
Guess I'm bored, and anxious even with the anxiety pills, because I bought supplies to do a transmission flush and power steering flush on my dad's SUV. IDK if it needs it, and I can't rely on his memory to tell me when he last had everything changed. I already changed the oil on it, so I guess you can say I'll be busy today! Then we want to start planting the garden as it's starting to get nicer out and not freeze at night anymore. I think I'll make some cookies from scratch, too :)


I totally had an update written, left my laptop to eat dinner, and when I came back, the darn thing had restarted to do updates! Lol, what a pile. Anyway, here's a little update of my own: the transmission fluid was nasty, and the power steering fluid was even worse. Smelled burnt :/ so I put some lucas in it, and although I have not noticed a difference because there was nothing wrong with it before, I know lucas is some of the best stuff you can get for a vehicle! Anyway, the garden looks fantastic, and the cookies were amazazinggg :D I ate more than I should have, but I've always been a sweets lover. How I remain so tiny is beyond me. I eat like a cow and sit around all day taking care of my sick pops.
I talked to the other PO at the office and he said he hadn't talked to my PO yet, but is working late so he'll try to get ahold of him later today. He said he'd call me if he got any news. Good deal :)
I also had an ortho appointment today. My invisalign is coming along wonderfully. I wish I had known about this site when I started, so I could have written a review on that too! My teeth weren't horrible before, but I'd had metal braces as a teen, and after my old orthodontist took them off, he didn't give me a retainer! What a putz!!! So I had a little snaggle tooth on the top that poked out a bit, and a matching snaggle on the bottom. The bottom is totally straight, now, and the top still has a few trays to go. I'm going to ask for refinements, though, as my center is off on the bottom, and my back teeth don't "zipper" (align) as they should. But I believe it's all included in the original price, so I'm okay with having invisalign for however long it takes :)
I also got a routine cleaning, and my teeth feel ever so wonderful! Last cleaning was November I believe. I can't believe some people go years without getting their teeth cleaned. Yuck. I'm cavity free, too! Which is great news... I mean, it's nothing new, as I've never had a single cavity my entire life, butttttt, for everything wrong going on, I'm just glad I don't have any cavities to top it off. Glass half full, or antidepressants kicking in? Who knows, lol.
...praying for a phone call! If you're into that, please say a little prayer for me - I could really use it!

Side note:

I completely forgot to mention that I was thinking about getting veneers to make my teeth all the same length... my front two teeth are a bit longer than the rest - not a whole lot, but enough to make me consider fixing it sometime in the future. But for now, does anyone know of a good fat grafting doctor? I really want to plump my lips (permanently!). I don't want to put anything foreign into my lips, as the body can reject it, and being it's an area that involves so much movement, I've heard implants tend to slide out of place. I don't want to have to go in every few months to get juvederm or any other weird fillers, but I've heard so many horror stories on fat grafting - like lumps and such :/ So I would like to find a VERY experienced surgeon for the procedure, if I do in fact decide to go that route. I don't want to permanently ruin a decent thing (as my lips aren't totally bad. They just aren't as plump as I'd like)

Haven't updated in a few days...

But I have awesome news........

MY PO SIGNED OFF ON MY EARLY RELEASE!!!! Now we play the waiting game, since they have to snail mail it over to the DA and Judge, lol. I don't even care anymore. The hard part is over. I'm in the final stretch :D

Also, happy belated Mother's Day to all you mommies out there, whether you have many children or just one, have a bun in the oven, or are an adoptive parent, whether your babies have four paws, or feathers and a beak... you're all significant in your little one's eyes and that's all that matters.


THIS GIRL!!!! I called Dr. Shah's office and I've been trying to schedule all day - but apparently the lady who does the scheduling has been super busy today
I just hope she calls back before the end of the day. I've called twice now. I just want to set my surgery date!

How annoying...

like I said in my previous post, I called Dr. Anil Shah's office TWICE today, asking to set an appointment - once in the morning and once again about an hour and a half ago. Both times I was told I'd receive a phone call shortly from Karen, the lady who schedules the surgery appointments. Now they're closed for the day and I'm almost thinking this isn't going to work between Shah and I. I understand it's not Shah's fault, and I understand I'm not his only client. BUT I also own a business, and when someone calls looking for your business, you don't blow them off like this. I know it's not the end of the world, and there's always tomorrow - but holy shit, how unprofessional?! I'm kind of upset now, I feel like I am not an important person to their faculty, and isn't that one thing you're supposed to feel - like they care about you on a PERSONAL level and like you aren't just another number to them? I guess the hunt is on... AGAIN. Fuck.

So I left a voicemail

I called Shah's office after hours, and left a voicemail - basically saying I called twice and was told each time I'd receive a phone call back, but never heard from them. I said I wanted to schedule my SURGERY date. Well I got a call back this morning, and the lady was like "so you want to schedule a consult?"
Jesus Christ, what is going on in this office?! It's seriously irritating. I explained to her I already had a consult and wanted to schedule the surgery. Well she told me the lady was busy and would call me back.


It's been a while

I had another skype consult with Shah. He then decided he wanted to see me in person before he could decide whether or not he could even work on me. Um..............okay? Weirdly enough, I agreed to it. I guess I really do like his work. Anyway, I'm just frustrated; I've postponed my wedding already because of this. It's really annoying when nobody's willing to work with you. I just want something to go right for once... I re-emailed Grigoryants back (to look at other options, in case Shah decides he doesn't want to work on me), and apparently if I want to get my nose done by him, the price went up $1000... so instead of $9500, it's $10500 - plus chin, which is an extra $4500. He must be high, thinking I'm going to pay that much. Sure, he's good, but he's not new car price good. Sorry, no nose job is worth the price of a new car. That's my opinion though. I'm young, and trying to enjoy life - go venture out and explore the world... not spend my entire savings on a ridiculously high priced nose job. I just want to look good, is that too much to ask?!

Well, the time has come!

I've been saving up and working on my credit (for care credit) and it looks like I'm going to be able to go with Grigoryants after all! I'm so pleased, patience really IS a virtue! I can't wait :)
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