440cc sientra gel under muscle

Two years ago 4/2013, I got my breast augmentation...

two years ago 4/2013, I got my breast augmentation. I went with 300cc full C/small D high profile memory gel silicone he convinced me to do above muscle (bad idea) so I had the natural look (with slight droop) and natural feeling breasts. everything went great but then 9 months later I realized one of my breasts was achy, more firm than the other, became round and lifted higher. I did some research and found out it was a capsular contracture which is a common risk following breast augmentation where your body tries to protect itself from the foreign object in your body and forms scar tissue around it. So my PS told me I needed to get it fixed. In March 2014, I had the capsular repair It was a simple procedure, he just recut another incision where the first one was under my breast and removed the scar tissue around my implant and then sewed me back up. When I awoke it was already immediately soft like it had been before and looked just like my other breast. Crazy! Well.. Here's my before and afters following my repair. Well, darn my luck the repaired breast once swelling went away..it looked terrible and saggy and the implant moved around unnaturally. And then my left breast got a slight capsule. So once again they are uneven, and terrible. I was over my PS and his poor treatment towards me after I noticed this... So I looked around for a new surgeon. I found dr. Juan brou in okc. He's been great during consults, honest, and I'm really confident in him to get me the best results. I just want to enjoy them finally without issue! March 2nd I will be getting a breast implant exchange, capsule release, and pocket repair. He will remove my current implants, release the capsule on the left side, repair the pockets the current implants are in and put in new 440cc silicone implants under the muscle. I look forward to gettin this surgery and am confident this will be successful and I can finally put it all behind me and enjoy them!

Got my exchange & repair done yesterday

It has been much more painful than the first augmentation! They explained fixing the old pockets would bring my breast back tightly together ... The prior pockets were stretched too far from the prior surgeon and with the weight of the implant it made my breasts saggy. He told my hubby that he did leave-in sutures repairing the pockets, he released the scar tissue capsule on my left side and put in the new implants. He told my hubby that the results came out better than anticipated and he is very happy with them. i think the combination of under muscle (which recovery hurts worse with that vs. over muscle anyways), along with the cleaning out my old pockets and suturing... Makes for a very painful recovery. I've been icing a lot and not lifting my arms much. I have a follow up appt today at 940am (it's currently 4am and I can't sleep). That will be the first time I get to see them! They are really swollen and tender but it's worth it. Photos to come soon...

2 days post op

In a lot of pain, but managing! Much worse of a recovery than my original BA. I'm very swollen, they are sitting high, and still hard. Curious to see how they change as they heal. Dr brou was amazing and feels very confident in how they will turn out.

3 days post op

Went back to work today, and man I started feeling it by the afternoon! Lots of achiness, pain, more swelling and stiffness. I put ice on and rotated it around but still was aweful. I wasn't sure on all the specs of my implants so I emailed my surgeon coordinator and she replied very quickly! She said I have the Sientra smooth round cohesive silicone 440cc high profile implants. which I looked up and are the Best in low risk rupture and capsules! Also, it comes with a 2 year capsule warrantee .. So if I do happen to get a capsule within the first two years, sientra will replace the implants! Considering the last implants I had, j got a capsule in each Breast.. So going below muscle this time and my new surgeon picking these new implants.. I am very confident I won't have anymore issues! Really puts my mind at ease :)

The incisions...

Look thin and awesome! Should fade easily once I can apply scar guard to it :)

Preop scrubs!

Even had some snazzy pre op shorts on under this lol

Slight Bruising

Well, yesterday I noticed how my right breast around the incision, felt more uncomfortable than my left.. I knew my right breast took the brunt of the repair so figured that would be the case. Showered this morning and took photos.. Noticed it hurt more because my right breast slightly bruised and my left didn't. Anyone elses breasts shaped differently at first? Surgeon told me they will drop over the coming weeks, soften and not be so swollen hard, and all that will help ultimately shapen them. Right now my right seems a tad on the funky appearance side as my left has started to shapen better. I hope my right side catches up.. I'm so paranoid something will go wrong after such horrible experiences the last couple years! Haha hopefully someone can reassure me the slight indifference and shape is normal as they change and heal.

Every little noise they make..

Crackling, sloshing, air bubble feeling... Every little thing I hear or see I'm like what the hell!? Lol but, I research every thing immediately and I guess for only being in the first week post op, it's common and normal... So ready for healing to be over enough where I can start being active again and living normal day to day life with these! Lol

One week post op tomorrow..

I am gradually feeling better. Bruising has been the biggest discomfort the last few days. I have noticed my breasts are already getting a better shape to them.. More rounded instead of cavemans first stone wheel protype! Haha some areas are softer than others. I Already love them .. I loved with such a terrible augmentation for two years .. These are beautiful! If they look so pretty now, and it's only been a week, I can only imagine how amazing they will be when they fully drop, soften, and round out!! The air bubbles and crinkling sounds are weird, It freaks me out thinking something is wrong or that will cause problems later .. But researching it and it seems to be very common in the early weeks! So I'm just trying to ignore that.. I have a visit with my surgeon this Friday for a second follow up :)

Feeling a little better..

My bruising as of today, one week post op exactly today. The bruising is only on my right breast, not a single bit on my left! Lol I know it's because my right breast took the extent of the repairs. The bruising is what hurts the most right now.. So ready for it to go away!

1 week post op; bruising still bad

Nerves..

Man, today I noticed my nerves will randomly give sharp shooting pains through my nipples! It is terrible! When I lean over to wipe after the restroom.. Everytime. When I move my arms out a certain way.. Or just when I'm sitting here. Probably the second most annoying thing post surgery are the nerves that had been cut and are coming back to life! Lol

Ready for these girls..

To get soft!! I am just so excited to beable to show them off to their full potential! They are already shaping nicely.. Still have alot of hard areas but so happy with them compared to what I had the last 2 years! Ready to have my visit with brou this friday!

Question...

Anyone have any suggestions on safely cleaning the iodine off my incisions and the surrounding? Where the gauze sticker was, it left dried iodine rectangle over both incisions... Regular soap and water doesn't do anything.... Ideas??

Just a view of them in a shirt...

Figured I'd show what they look like when wearing a shirt lol..

2nd post op appt..

Well I am a little nervous after that appointment... He said they are even, look great.. BUT, I have a bit more fluid built up than he liked to see on my right breast.. When he tapped on my breast on the side you can see and, I can feel the fluid. He wanted to drain it just to be safe, to avoid possible infection. Well, he has to go in from the side because going straight forward risks hitting the implant if he goes too deep, so he tried the first time a little lower on the side of my breast .. Pushed and moved my breast around .. NO FLUID was coming out. So he moves to a different spot of my breast on the side, a little higher, still no luck on getting any fluid out. Go figure. He said we will just keep a close eye on it, and for me to keep alert to signs of infection. I will go back in two weeks from today for another check up.. He's hoping my body starts absorbing the fluid better by then. I'm so freaking nervous, why can't I ever have a smooth recovery without hiccup!? I was already panicky and nervous something wild go wrong considering what I felt with the last two years.. And I've been soo cautious this recovery to ensure I wouldnt cause anything and I still have a hiccup. I pray it doesn't get worse or cause infevtion and that my body absorbs it.. I am feeling really stressed at the moment. They and my hubby assured me it will be fine and infection is worst case. Just need to take it easy and pray for the results I want in a couple weeks. :(

Scar...

I guess the stuff over my scar was an adhesive type thing, and at my follow up she said I can start removing it with a baby oil or something.. I had noticed it would come off in gooey balls in the shower but I didn't know if I was picking at that or my scar before my appt. I had lol.. Well when she told me I could start removing it.. I noticed today my left scar has kind of lifted up? It's a tad tender, which is why I noticed it. Did my skin heal over this adhesive stuff? I'm worried it will infect. I was able to peel off the remaining adhesive I could see on both scars, this scar is noticeable now tho and not smooth.. And hardened. :( I guess I'll see how it looks by the time I go back in two weeks?

2 1/2 weeks post and feeling...

It's been 2 1/2 weeks and I'm feeling A lot better overall. I am able to move and lift my arms easier, I can actually stand and wash my hair almost normal again haha. Still a tad uncomfortable when I sneeze or cough or use my muscles fully like if I were to try and get re-situated in bed or on the couch.. I can't put all my weight on my elbow to adjust because I feel it in my chest muscles. I still see some fluid in my right breast brou pointed out last week and I think I have some in my left breast more on the bottom part of my breast below the areola. But, it hasn't caused any issues so far regarding infection or anything. I hope it doesn't affect the look of my final result.. That is a concern of mine. Still some hardened areas .. Especially near my scars and where my bruising still is on my right breast. But I do notice a gradual softening overall and they have settled a little more. Regarding the scars and being raised a little... I emailed dee at dr. Brous office over the wknd and she promptly responded Monday.. Since brou was in surgery all that day she said it would probably be Tuesday before she can give me his response to my question and photos of my scars. Which, Tuesday I not only got a phone call from his office about it.. Dee the consultant actually emailed me back as well saying brou doesn't see any issue with them, it's normal for them to sometimes raise during healing but should gradually flatten back out... Also, that I could start doing a gentle massage over the scars to help them soften and feel better since thy have been aching a lot. He said he will make sure to evaluate them closer and discuss them in our next appt the 27th.

Might I add...

I'm so glad my boobs are no longer creeping into my armpits! I can shave relatively normal now haha :)

Just sayin..

I love my size but i totally could have gone bigger and been just as happy. I won't ever get them done again unless there's another issue tho lol

Boob shape...

I was standing infront of a mirror earlier with my tank top on... I can kinda see the shape difference they currently have .. I really pray my right breast shapens out better. Since day 1 they haven't had the same shape.. They both have changed a lot already so far so I pray they continue to change and become more alike. The right one is more wide than the left... I chalk it up to the fact the bottom of my right breast is just healing slower than the left due to more work being done to it, and also that one had extensive bruising on the bottom part of the breast which is still puffy and firm compare to other areas of the breast and makes it seem to not drop as low as the other right now.. Ugh.. I'm such a worry wart! I just want pretty boobs I can go without wearing a bra if I wanted ...Is that so much to ask? Sti have some fluid in both breasts too... So maybe when (if) that goes away it'll help my shape too..

Emergency surgery...

Well... Out of no where at 430pm I felt my right breast kind of "contract" and tighten... Didn't hurt but it was very noticeable. After 10 min, I noticed suddenly my entire breast got extremely hard, swollen, and painful. I called my surgeons office and they wanted me to take pictures and email them. Since I was at work, I told my boss I had to leave immediately. I get home ... Pain has worsened... My husband takes the photos and we text them to my surgeons personal phone. He calls me and I explain what i was feeling... He told me it sounds like bleeding so I need to drive to okc immediately and go to the hospital near his office for emergency surgery. My husband was amazing.. He was helping me stay strong through the entire drive... It was the worst 1 1/2 hour drive ever!! Every bump and movement hurt so bad. It seriously ached terribly and then every couple minutes a wave of sharp feel pain hit.. It literally felt like labor contractions in my boob! My surgeon told me before I had left he was going to call the hospital and make sure they started OR prep, he would meet us there. When we got there, my mom and husbands dad that both live in the city met us there too and stayed the whole time. I was in unbearable pain all the way till I finally was put under anesthesia. My husband told me what brou had told him after surgery was done... That he was right, I had started bleeding internally in my right breast and he had to take out my implant .. Find where I was bleeding from, seal it off, and then clean everything up and then put my implant back in. He said what happened is extremely rare.. It is like winning the lottery rare. He said everything will be ok now and my breasts looked great otherwise. I have a drain in and will be removed Sunday morning. Was a crazy way to end my friday.. But I'm already feeling much better...

Photos before emergency surgery

My right just got very hard, the entire breast expanded, and was painful .. No change to my coloring

Hematoma..

Forgot to mention in my emergency surgery post that because of the internal bleeding (I never had seroma fluid build up at my 1 week post op.. When he unsuccessfully tried to drain it) this whole time I've been slowly bleeding.. Which caused the fluid wave affect in my breast, which was causing the severe bruising and discomfort, which Then because the blood was settling at the bottom of my breast.. Caused a hematoma that brou also cleaned out during surgery last night. So that is probably why the bottom of my right breast looked and felt the way it did.. Finally last night my body reacted which in turn is how everything happened last night. So I should be all better now! No bleeding, no fluid, no hematoma anymore.. I always knew something wasn't right!! Couldn't ask for a better more attentive surgeon! He was amazing last night in takin care of me and fixing everything. I'm feeling pretty good right now... Only needed one Percocet today so far, little swollen, sore and stiff but I'm pretty good!

That's a wrap...

I wish I could just walk around 24/7 in this wrap instead of the post op bra and a shirt.. So much more comfortable lol. Curious to see what my breast looks like tomorrow. Not looking forward to my drain being taken out ... I hope the drainage slows down because as of right now it's still a fair amount and I don't want the drain taken out too soon... Guess we will see tomorrow !

Draining tube removal...

So I went to my surgeons office this morning and he removed the drain from my breast before we drove back home. And omg that was terrible! It was uncomfortable feeling the tube being pulled out.. It was spiraled throughout my boob and I felt all of it as he pulled it out! I'm obviously swollen but once that goes down it will look nice again. I woke up at 5 this morning with the worst migraine and nausea from my Percocet! Ended up puking a couple times, but managed to fall back asleep soon after I finished puking. I woke up at 9, felt ok at first then the migraine and nausea came back. Didn't go away till I ate tacos surprisingly and fell asleep on the car ride home. Now home resting and not in any pain ...

Feeling down..

Had my appointment this morning and I was telling him I noticed since surgery Friday that my right breast doesn't have the same volume as my other now... And he said it was what he noticed as well, said it was because the bleeding internally on the top of my breast pushed my implant down as it bled and so it fits in the pocket a little less high now. We won't know till both breasts finish healing and my left finishes settling before we will know for sure how the final result will be due to this internal bleeding I had. :( I just want to cry.. I just wanted my volume to be even for once and of course it's been messed up again. Hopefully my right doesn't settle anymore and my left settles evenly to the right one. I don't go back for 2 more months .. He hopes they will be close to a final result by then to tell. Just really discouraged and upset..

Will be a week post emergency surgery 2morrow...

I am feeling pretty good. I still experience uncomfortable pressure in the center/right chest cavity but it comes and goes. My incision is healing nicely and I don't really experience much overall pain. I have avoided even really looking at my breasts since the surgery because I focus so much on the fact they look different... My left is ovalish and my right (the emergency surgery boob) is more round/wide than the other. The cleavage difference is mild.. And at time don't notice there's even a difference. Under my right breast it feels weird... Feels like the bulge I had prior to surgery caused by the hematoma... I hope it doesn't cause issues and softens.. It reminds me of the feeling when you push your fingers into a memory foam mattress ... And it makes that bottom area sit higher and rounder than the left. Dr brou is confident they both will look beautiful after they drop, soften, fluff, and fill out more.. I pray he is right. I have no interest in taking any photos anytime soon because I really gets to me. I just figure out of sight out of mind and maybe in a month I'll see a big difference that I'm happy with. I haven't had any bruising after this surgery like I did after my augmentation almost 4 wks ago. Swelling comes and goes ... Trying to keep positive thoughts and not get myself down. Thank you everyone for your support and kind words

Ouch...

So, I'm just over 1 week post op (emergency surgery)... I went grocery shopping and as I was unloading the car (made sure to only carry one or two light bags with my right arm), I went to close the car door with my left hand carrying bags and as I went to walk forward the darn car door flung back open and my right boob slammed right into the door .. And of course the area of my join that impact directly was the spot where my artery bled out causing the surgery last week! My boob is obviously still very firm and tender.. I am restricted on much activity for at least another week and the discomfort comes and goes. So hitting it really hurt! It made my breast swell up and ache ... Hopefully that's all it caused. I'm laying here with ice on it for awhile. :( other than that, in feeling pretty good. My left breast that is 4 weeks post op tomorrow feels great.. No problems, still firm in areas but I can tell has gotten overall soft and I have full arm movement without discomfort. My right breast is a couple weeks behind in recovery if not longer .. It already was healing slower than my left due to having more repair done to it during exchange augmentation... But with the internal bleeding issue a week ago.. It really pushed my recovery process way back in my right breast. It's so much more round and firm than my left.. they still have completely different shapes ... It's hard not to let it get to me when I see it before and after a shower. I am still praying the long term result is good and that I will feel all this money and pain was worth it. Really upsetting if this internal bleeding affected my result to the right breast. Trying to stay patient and calm.

sorry, feeling pretty negative.

So I called the surgeons office to ask if a bath is ok yet... Then went into telling them how I hit my right boob over the weekend making the swelling worse. Since I still can't take anti-inflammatory meds, it's taking a lot longer for swelling to go down. Of course, they want me to take photos and text them to them.. Which means I have to actually look at my boobs and I really have avoided it like the plague. Well, I take photos and send them to them.... Dr said they look normal for what it's been through and looks fine. So still have my next followup 2 months from now. I took a lortab and that helped my discomfort from swelling and pressure. Took a hot shower. Now, they keep reassuring me my boobs will continue to change in appearance over the next 3 or whatever months.... That what I see right now is not my final result. But I'm sorry.. I'm not as confident they will be worth the trouble and extra money I just spent AGAIN. All I wanted was the top of my damn boobs to be EVEN in volume so when I wore shirts that I can't wear a bra with.. That they actually freaking look even and good for once. But once again, they aren't even and the volume difference is significant. My left boob looks great my right boob .. The troubled one.. Is just shit. Plain and simple I hate hate hate it. It reminds me of how my left boob looked before this latest exchange augmentation. Just a round "ball" and drops from chest to boob without a smooth appearance like my left now has. It still is pretty firm all around, I think I still have a slight hematoma on the bottom of the breast causing it to come out the way it does also.. Supposedly as it softens and heals and swelling goes away it'll look better.. Whatever I won't hold my breath. The last surgeon told me they would look better as they healed and yea.. That didn't happen. I love dr brou.. But I feel I just wasted another 7400$. What was the point if they still look completely different?? Not only is the volume with my cleavage different...but my right boob is wider than my left so it's all around noticeable in my shirts already. Just having a lot of mixed emotions.. Mostly anger, disappointment and sadness. I'm just tired. Tired of it all. I wish they never asked for photos yesterday because then I had to really look at them again. Figured I might as well show the photos to my realself followers while I had them. I have a hard time looking at others reviews.. Because they all are beautiful and perfect even cleavage...while I'm so happy for them, It makes me feel envious, jealous, and maybe a little bitter. I guess I just don't understand why I can't get the results i want... And to know the bleeding out at 3 weeks caused my cleavage problem on the right and we don't even know why it happened, and nothing I caused.. That it was just some rare stupid thing that is unexplained ..makes me very angry. Anyways, I just had to vent.. I'm feeling very emotional right now.. Since I had to take the phots for surgeon last night .. Here they are. I pray someday they look more even and similar... Can only cry and pray I guess ...

A view of what it looks like...

When I hold phone infront of me for photo vs. the view in the ther pic doing mirror pic... Can see my ugly boob better.

Dr. Rescheduled follow-up

My surgeons office called yesterday and dr. Brou decided he didn't want to wait 2 months to have another followup.. So they moved my next appt up 3 or so weeks to May 1st. I will be 2 months post op with my left breast, and 6 weeks post op in my right breast.

Summer is nearing...

And I'm no where near where I thought I would be by this point after surgery. I figured hey... March 2nd surgery would give plenty of time to recover and then be back in the gym for summer body maintenance and to be confident in my summer tops and bikini tops.. Ugh.. Summer can just go away now. I'm not looking forward to it at all! My mother in law bought me a couple new dresses at old navy... And the boobs obviously fill out the front differently and the volume is difference from the side view of me in the dress :/

Ugh!!!!! Happy thoughts happy thoughts. I could have no boobs at all like some women that have had to have them removed due to cancer... I just need to be thankful I'm alive (considering internal bleeding situation could of been a lot worse!) and that I even have my boobs! Just a hard inner battle

18 days post emergency surgery

I'm feeling pretty good... My left breast that hasn't had any complications and is a little over a month post op, feels great, it has softened a lot and is actually moving more... I absolutely love my left boob! It's perfect. My right breast.. The trouble maker... It has only been 2 1/2 weeks since the internal bleeding and emergency surgery. It has some soft areas but I'm a little concerned about the two areas of the breast that still feel firm and like there is a "knot" there.. that is what is making the breast shape funky. i don't have an appointment for another 3 1/2 weeks so I guess I'll be left wondering till then. The areas are more tender than the rest of my boob. The way this breast is shaped and sticks out really bugs me ... I don't think even after they finish healing, that I will beable to wear simple triangle bathing suit tops like I was hoping...and I won't beable to go braless if needed with certain dresses or something... Just really disappointed.. Hard to be strong and positive about something I feel deep in my heart won't look any better than before surgery. It really messes with my head when I have one breast result that was worth the surgery and then the other wasn't ... I am worried dr brou will tell me more bad news about my result or current progress at my appointment.. And just tell me I will have to spend more money to fix it .. That I simply do not have. I have no more support on fixing my breasts from family, which means no more spending money.. This surgery was IT..and I feel I was delt such a crappy hand and it was out of my control.. It's so extremely unfair. The only thing I still have support on is my husband said I can get my stomach fixed since the last surgeon didn't do a good tummy tuck... But, that fix isnt allowed for another 5 or so years... So brou saying "it's ok we can fix my right breast..." I know won't make me feel better because I know I can't financially do that. I mean.. That was what the 6100$ was for after already spending nearly 6000$ on them the first time... I just can't believe this is happening. I love dr brou... He's amazing but I'm just having a hard time accepting it all and not gonna beable to fix it again... :(

On a brighter note, I'm not having any more discomfort really... I just have aches here and there from the hardness in my right breast. My Easter was great.. Kids and I made our first Easter bunny cake for the family lunch :)

I have met some great people on here and appreciate the new friendships !

Little fun positive boost chat..

What do you miss and are most excited to get to do again once your boobies are healed !?

Mine... I would have to be to get to lay on my side again! I fall asleep and sleep the best when I can lay on my side cuddling a pillow! Lol

Also, I can't wait to beable to stretch again! Just isn't the same when I wake up in the morning and can't do one of those big full body cat stretches! Lol

And of course... Working out full on again without restriction! I had bought a ticket to the OKC color run back in January and have looked forward to it ever since.. But, my current circumstances mean I can't go and run in it and fully, and enjoy it like originally planned.. Also, I could never get any friends to want to do it... I mean, who wouldn't want to do the color run!? Talk about a blast! I just need more friends that like exercise and jogging I guess lol. Well, the color run is this Saturday and I don't get to participate ... BUT, they have one every year so just means I will plan for the next one!! :)

Now you see..

I went ahead and decided to take pictures to give you all a better view and multiple angles of my breast and why I'm concerned of my result. I realized it's hard for you all to understand unless you see them. It has gotten a little worse in a week now that I compare the two.. Maybe I'm getting a capsule after everything that's gone on? Also, you can see now, the "knots" or "firm" areas I mentioned in a prior review update. Definitely is uncomfortablely firm. And clearly my breast is distorted.. You would think by almost 3 weeks it would have relaxed a little.. But doesn't really look or feel it. I absolutely hate the way it drops from chest to boob .. It doesn't have he smooth curve my left has to which u can see a side-by-side comparison. Feel free to be honest with opinions.. I know they don't look good so no need to lie lol

Right boob 3 wks post emer. Surgery

Happy w/ Left boob ...

5 wks post op .. No troubles with it

Bathing suit top ...

I was actually surprised by the look of them in this top...Once they are squishy they just may look pretty good (and fairly even cleavage) in bathing suit tops after all :)

Hello again Percocet ..

Well, my right breast has been feeling more achy over the weekend. The "knot" feels like it goes over the top part of my breast from the inner curve to the outter side. This morning it felt more achy as I walked so I guess I'll be taking my Percocet again to keep the discomfort away during the day. Just 2 more weeks and I can get some answers and maybe some options to fix it... At this point my right breast is 100% worse than before I had the repair/exchange March 2nd.. i feel at a loss of words, yet with so many questions to be honest..I guess I just don't understand why me? Why the issues? How am I going to pay for another repair? Why couldn't this of been fixed while I was already under for the emergency surgery? Will my surgeon have answers for me? Will he understand how much this is affecting me? What will he say/do? it goes on and on... I don't say anything to my husband or family.. I literally keep it bottled up except for what I express on this website. I really don't want the negative feedback from family and the guilt trip of how much I've spent on them or the "I told you so" comments about how they said I didn't need to have a BA in the first place. None of them understand any of why I wanted the augmentation in the first place nor understand what I'm going through right now. I don't want to call and bother my surgeons office anymore.. I adore them all and they have Been so great to me, but I don't want to be that "trouble patient" that always calls and complains or becomes annoying. I want to be strong in all of this.

Called & moved up my appointment..

Ok.. So I listened and went ahead and called my surgeons office this morning to move up my appointment. I will go this Friday the 17th at 11am instead of may 1st. I just don't see this getting better in the next 2 1/2 weeks, and I want answers.

Scars

Here's a photo of one of my scars... Both are straight, smooth, and pretty!

Bad news at my appt yesterday

Seems the internal bleeding caused a CC in my right breast. I literally bawled my eyes out infront of my surgeon and his nurse.. Embarrassing! He told me to fix it, would need to be more extensive than just "releasing" the capsule ... He told me he was going to do some digging and see what the best most affective way would be to repair it and not have another form... I had no idea what it will cost me, all I know is he said it would be "expensive". I haven't stopped crying ever since that appointment, I'm so exhausted and emotional. I have no idea how I'm going to afford this again. i took everything I had not to cry after he said I had a CC.. The more he spoke the of it I literally threw my face in my hands and cried. I have no idea what exactly he would want to do to fix it, or how much it will be costing.. He said he would have the consultant call me when he has details decided on. I guess I looked pretty pathetic because my surgeon hugged me Before he left. What sucks about this, is its not a CC I can ignore... My last CC in my other breast, I was able to live with it because it wasn't painful and it didn't interfere with my daily life. Now, another surgery and emergency surgery later... I am left with yet another CC but this time it's painful, doesn't move, and affects me every single day. I can't Not get it fixed but I don't have the funds just sitting available for it either. My husband said we will try and figure it out ... And he has been supportive... But I'm still having a really hard time because of this simple surgery 2 years ago has become a financial and emotional burden. When will it be over? Will they ever be ok? I'm dreading finding out the cost and details next week.

So, that's my current situation... I'll update when I know more from dr brou.

All in the angle...

Wanted to show my left boob... It has been healing nicely and has a beautiful shape... Once I get my capsule repaired in my right breast, hopefully it will match. In this photo I was able to hide the misshape of the right boob for the most part .. But you can still tell by my areola that the scar tissue on the top of my breast is bulging .. Also it's more firm and round looking at the bottom because the scar tissue that's formed above my implant.. Is pushing my implant down causing the tight pressure at the bottom of my breast

Got my bill in for the emergency surgery...

And total cost was just over $19,000.... Insurance covered all but $3200 of it. And to know I still have to find a way to pay to have my right breast fixed still and I still have no idea how much brou is going to decide to charge me with that one ... I'm seriously feeling so defeated .....

What a relief...

I have been busy today figuring out my emergency surgery bills and after being in contact with one of integris hospitals amazing financial assistant workers, I was told I qualified for this financial aid deduction thing? I thought I was seeing if I was qualifying for just making payments.. But turns out with my income and a divorced mom of 2, I qualified for a 90% bill deduction!!! He told me my new balance owed is now 301.84 instead of the 3018.64!! Omg I wanted to cry I was so relieved! I went ahead and paid the ER bill of $181 today, and I told the financial guy I would call him Friday to pay my other bill of $301 since I get paid Friday. He said no problem. Wow! What a relief!! Here I expected to have to pay payments for months or years to pay off that bill.. But to of got help from the hospital, and know I can have it paid off Friday.. Is amazing! That helps me so much! Now, emergency surgery burden will be behind me as of Friday and I just have one more burden and stress left... Getting my capsule fixed! Still haven't been contacted by dr. Brous office yet about what he decided for the procedure and how much it will cost. I may call tomorrow to check in.

surgeon called ...

Dr. Brou'a office called and my husband spoke to Dee about what he decided to do to fix my capsuled breast. He had spent almost a week researching the best procedure to get it fixed since a simple capsulectomy would only be a temporary fix and I most likely would result in another capsule. What he came up with is to apply a tissue mesh called "strattic" to a new implant and that mesh will help prevent a capsule from forming again. He said he will Not be charging his fees for the surgery (I am extremely thankful for that! I know he didn't have to waive it and I'm happy he chose to help me by not charging them). But, I do have to still be responsible for the surgery center fee- $1140, anesthesiologist fee- $1040, and supplies for the surgery (a new implant and the stratticc)-$2086. Totaling $4272.00. My husband said we will look into applying for the credit through a company dr. Brou recommended and go from there...

Waiting list ...

Well, called surgeons office to see the earliest opening for my capsule repair... And they said AUGUST 13 :(

She said they do a waiting list incase of cancellations, she put me near the top considering my pain... But there is no telling when my surgery will happen... August 13th at the latest. That means possibly going all summer with this! And I don't even know if it's ok to even workout! I already feel fat as ever with not working out since end of April.. I think I'm about to say screw it and wear 3 sports bras and workout anyways! >:(

Approved!

Well, hubby gave me the go ahead to apply for the carecredit card... We were instantly approved and are ready to go financially.. Now just waiting for the call to hopefully have a rescheduled earlier surgery date!!

Exercise ...

I emailed Dee, my surgeons coordinator and asked her to ask dr. Brou about starting exercise again. She replied and dr. Brou said it was ok to start back with gentle exercise, 30 lbs or less on weights, no direct chest workouts and no running. And let me know I was in fact at the top of the waiting list for the next cancellation availability. I am going back to the gym TOMORROW morning bright and early! I'm so excited, anything is better than nothing!

Sports bra

I bought a couple sports bras today, danskin brand from Walmart.. One high impact and one medium impact.. I can't run or anything high impact but figure I'd get it since I needed sports bras that open and close in the front. I was going to go to the gym this morning but then realized all of my sports bras at home are pull-over-the-head super tight ones that I can't wear due to my capsule right now. And it would be too hard getting it on and off and the way they fit would hurt with my capsule. I tried on both these front zip sports bras and everyone knows Walmart isn't known for their small width large cup bras.. I managed to find at least a 36D one which is my high impact.. It fit well, but definitely felt weird because my capsule on my right makes my boob hard and doesn't move ... But it held them in and I could get it on and off easy lol. The other medium impact was in sizes small-extra large... I debated over getting the large or extra large... By their chart I needed large, but the cups for the large just seemed so small with my boobies lol.. So I got the extra large for more comfort and support. I WILL be going to the gym tomorrow morning now that I have my right bras.. I'll take pics of them tonight and show you ladies. Can't wait to get my capsule fixed so my bras fit right and my boob moves again lol

Boobie view update..

I took this quick photo while in the changing room trying on sports bras.

My left good boob is 8 weeks post op, and my right boob is 5 1/2 weeks post emergency surgery; that now has a capsule from the internal bleeding.

My left boob is pretty.. I love it's shape and how it looks fairly natural to me. I have hopes my right boob with have a similar result once the capsule is removed :)

Couple sports bras..

I honestly don't really care much for either one. But they unzip in the front so I'll take it for now :)

Hard to be patient ...

Well, I'm trying to be patient and take it day by day... But I'm getting so restless waiting on the surgeons office to call me. I wish someone would cancel already so I can just get my surgery done.. I really don't want to go even half my summer with this painful, hard, weird shaped boob. I wish they could just squeeze me in somewhere... I'm worried the longer I have to have this capsule, the worse my right boob will be because it's being stretched. I hope it will still look 'full' after... I know the last time I had a capsule repair my boob looked deflated and ugly. I'm going to have a detailed talk with my surgeon at my preop appt before this repair so I can get an idea of what to expect post op. Everyone keep praying for me that I finally get a call that they can get my scheduled a lot sooner than this freaking mid August appt ... Xo hope everyone is doing well

Got a call from the dr office..

Got a call from the dr. Office and Dee said there was a cancellation and my surgery would be moved up from mid August to July 9th. Still further away than i was hoping for but its over a month closer which is good. She said she will keep me on the waiting list and if anything else comes open sooner than July 9th she will give me a call and switch my surgery date again. Keep praying everyone!! Let's try and get my surgery bumped even closer!!

Pre-op appt scheduled ..

They weren't going to have me do a preop appt, but I told the coordinator that I wasn't going to drive 1 1/2 hours to the city just to pay.. I still had some questions about what to expect with this surgery and post op expectations. So, she is having me come in June 2nd at 330pm to consult with dr. Brou and also pay for "brous fee" (the supplies) and the anesthesiologist fee.. I'll pay the surgery center the day of.

Surgery date was changed...

So, I got a call from dr. Brous office and they had an opening for surgery JUNE 8TH at 945am!!!!! So first they had me scheduled for August 14th, then July 9th, now June 8th! I am so excited and freaking nervous!!

notifications drop down...

I am getting a little peeved.... on my phone it used to show me the entire list of all new notifications for me to click and follow up on...lately it has only shown maybe the first 5 and it won't scroll down to anymore... i figure maybe it was just my phone so i tried my computer, and it won't show me all of my new motivations either?? How am i able to see my notications if it won't show me them ? :(

Had my preop appt today

Said my breast has overall softened nicely, but the capsule makes the shape of my breast go Sideways and outward on the right side of the breast. The capsule is on the entire top causing the implant to push down which makes too much lower pole fullness with an upper shelf in the top of my breast.. Which is also why I don't have volume on the top currently. He will remove the implant and insert a new one, he will be using 2 sheets of strattice mesh... One on the top half and one on the bottom half of implant. He will be releasing the scar tissue which he is hoping lets the new implant sit back where it should in the pocket helping with the volume. he said it will take minimum 3 hours but could go longer. Recovery; breast will be hard and round at first similar to new augmentation.. But that it will soften like any other augmentation. Didn't say there would be a long term difference in how they feel with one having mesh and the other not. My pain and recovery time will be just like my other surgery but just with one boob. I grabbed the photos he took today off my online profile to show you guys...my left breast is currently 3 months post op and my right is the one that's got the capsule and 2 1/2 months post emergency surgery.

Current Before and after

Figured I would show a side by side of my boobs before dr. Brous implant exchange and my boobs currently ... My right side obviously doesn't look great because of the capsule but the improvement of my left is pretty exciting! I wanted a natural full look and I feel that's what I got. Can't wait for my right side to be soft and look like that (hopefully!) after my June 8th repair :)

My befores were above muscle 300cc with a capsule on the left and a bad capsule repair on my right causing sagginess. My currents are under muscle 445cc with the capsule on the right.

The eve of my surgery...

So... Tomorrow I will be leaving at 630am with my mother in law to head to Oklahoma City for my surgery. I have to be there at 815am to get checked in and pay. My surgery is scheduled for 945am.. It'll be at least 3 hours but probably will go longer. I will be staying in a hotel room and my mother in law will head home after my mom gets there after she's off work. My husband couldn't go with me because of work .. But he was going to be there to take care of me when I got back home Tuesday ... Unfortunately, yesterday we got news that my brother in law and his two daughters were in a serious car accident ... He was thrown from the vehicle and died from his injuries. The girls fortunately survived and are doing ok. They are in Denver Colorado ... So my husband is flying there tomorrow night to be with his niece, dad, step mom, and other 2 siblings for support as well as they are going to have a private family viewing of his brother before he is cremated. It's been so Terrible... And now I have this surgery tomorrow... My hubby said he would stop by the hotel and see me before he heads to the airport for his flight. When I get home Tuesday.. I'll be on my own till Wednesday. It sucks but it will be ok. I have my prescriptions filled and ready... I will shower in the morning with my safeguard antibacterial soap and pray I make it to okc without peeing my pants!!! I know if I pee when I wake up, there's a chance I won't have to pee when I get there and have to pee in a cup lol.. So wish me luck on that miserable 1 1/2 hour car ride! I am so nervous, excited, happy, anxious... I just want everything to go smoothly this time and for my boob to heal well... I'm excited to see what my boob will look like once swelling goes away and my breast softens back up... I've never had similar looking boobs since I got my first BA 2 years ago!!! Well... Prayers everyone... I will update when I am tomorrow afternoon

Post surgery status...

Well, it's 1:15am and I am sleeping on and off. We got there at 8am, signed in and paid... The wait went by fairly quickly! Once back there I had peed in a cup, got weighed (which I was pretty excited to see I lost weight since my surgery in March! I am now in the 120s!!) and then got changed into my sexy surgery attire. My mother in law and I chatted while we waited, I was visit by the nurse and got my IV, then dr. Brou, the Anastasiologist, and surgery nurse one at a time came and chat with me. Once back in the OR, she got me setup and I was out pretty quickly!! I don't even remember anyone coming in haha.

When I woke up, my mother in law told me the details. Dr. Brou was saying my surgery would last most likely more than 3 hours but turns out he said it went amazingly smooth and I was finished in 2 1/2 hours! He told her that he also discovered a blood clot tucked in there that he missed during my emergency surgery in late March! How scary is that?! that could have been dislodged and travelled to my lungs causing some serious harm! Thank heavens he found it and took care of it!

As for pain, holy crap I was in SO much pain when I woke up!! They gave me 2 Percocet but it was Not helping at all and my mother in law had to keep telling me to relax my body. Finally the nurse had to give me 2 split doses of morphine in my IV and after that second dose I felt more relaxed. But the pain didn't go away completely. I do have a drain, and it's not too bad on the amount of drainage. I am not looking forward to when I have to have it removed! My mother in law has been amazing, when I was in surgery she went to the store and got me some fruits to snack on in the hotel after and some bottled water. Then, when we left the surgery center she even took me to panera bread and picked me up 2 of their soups and a turkey sandwich! I have only been to panera once before and oh my goodness that soup was delicious! I refrigerated the other soup and the sandwich. My mother in law left when my husband showed up around 5:00, he spent a couple hours with me and then had to go to the airport :(
My mother came around 5:45 ... And then she will take me to my follow up tomorrow morning at 940am. She will take me home after that! I'm so nervous to see it tomorrow.. I know with the drain in and the swelling it'll be weird at first, but I seriously can't stop thinking about my result! I'll update tomorrow after my follow up during our drive home :) night everyone

Post op appointment update..

Just left my Drs office and he removed my drain (ouch!) but feels so much better having it gone and that itchy wrap taken off. He told me I had that blood clot he removed, also, he said the capsule ended up not being as big as he expected.. But he said I actually had a very large hematoma that somehow managed to form in my old implant pocket I had with my first augmentation above muscle. My right side no longer has that big bulge on the side of my boob and my lower pole isn't so wide and large. I'm hoping as my swelling goes down it doesn't lose much volume on top. Right now it isn't much higher than my left.. Maybe I will wear two spandex post op bras for more firm lifting support. He told me to be lazy and RELAX the next four weeks.. Don't take any pain pills except my Percocet as needed to minimize any risks from accidentally taking restricted meds. And I'll keep taking my multivitamins. From what I could see my boob looked so much better already... I didn't get a front mirror picture view so I'll do that when I get home and post it for you all :)

Muscle spasm ..?

Since last night I've been having what feels like muscle spasms right under where my incision is?? Never experienced that with any of my surgeries before... Is this normal ?

Photo..

Couldn't get a good pic by myself, so I will wait till my hubby can take a photo for me for the straight on view of my boobs. I do want to show the profile view tho! Dr brou was right.. My right breast looks like a newly done Breast augmentation... The firmness, sits high, and has a funny shape but i can SEE my breast will look great once it softens, fluffs and rounds out again....

Today was harder...

Today I seemed to feel a lot worse than yesterday. I made it to work for a couple hours but then my boss told me to go home. The pain meds gave me the worst migraine All day ... My husband finally came home from Denver today at 530. I'm feeling better now... Just still sore and tired. I'm keeping ice rotating around my breast which helps the discomfort. I'm wearing the spandex post op bra he put on me after surgery plus another one for added support. This recovery has been hard.. But I'm feeling really confident about my results ... Can't wait to see it as it heals and softens.

Front view photo..

I still plan to have hubby take a better one for my side by side before/after comparison photo ... But here's a front view 3 days post op. I'm still a little swollen, and it will round out on the bottom and the inner side as it heals .. Just like a new augmentation...but it doesn't sit as high as a new one does. Keep the prayers going for a smooth recovery and no more hiccups ! Don't mind the dirty mirror lol

Post op day 4..

I wasn't sure what to expect with the recovery on this surgery but man... This is one of the more difficult painful recoveries. I'm still taking my Percocet .. Thankfully I still have my stronger prescription left before having to use the lighter dose prescription. I've been back at work so I've only taken half my dosage and I'm feeling it... I'm swollen, and the incision area and the area where my drainage tube hole is, is So tender! I've been icing a lot but it only helps so much... I'm hoping now that it's the weekend I can rest more and hopefully feel better in a couple days. I'm sure the incision area is more tender this go around considering it is the 3rd time it has been cut open in 3 months. It looks weird right now.. I hope it smoothens out and isn't so tight in that area. I've been extremely emotional .. I'm sure it's the combination between the loss and grief of my brother in law and the surgery at the same time... And not having my hubby's support and care like before ... He was either not here at all due to having to fly to Denver or here but not mentally present it seemed... I've been crying really easy and feel so work down. I know I'm supposed to be in happier spirits but it has deemed a heavy weight this week. I hope my breast continues to heal well, and I don't have anymore burden from it... This pain that has been a lot worse this time..I hope is just part of it considering he had to remove and do more work than in my prior surgeries. I'm trying to be so careful and not do anything ... I still worry about getting another hematoma. There's this little harder spot on the one part of my breast.. It will throb and hurt like my incision.. I'm curious as to what that is.. If it is just an over-worked spot in there that's more swollen than the rest or if it's where the mesh is tied in or however it's attached inside my breast? It's definitely something I will ask about if it's still noticeable by my next appt June 25th. I had no idea this recovery would be so hard... I hope my emotions get better and I stop crying over everything .. I'm sure that doesn't make it easy for my hubby who is going through a lot of emotions too... I'll give it a couple days and update again soon... Best wishes to everyone in their journeys

Morning boob..

I hate morning boob. It feels like your boob has grown like double overnight and it is so uncomfortable! I am so scared to even look at my boob since the surgery last Monday... It's like I don't want to see something strange or misshapen or anything to start freaking me out. I figure if I don't look I won't have anything but positive thoughts and faith it is healing well! I know the inside shape isn't great right now so I'm hoping that is just swelling and will soften and round out as I heal... Happy thoughts .. Happy thoughts !!! Everything will be ok this time! Hope everyone has a fantastic Sunday :) xo

Incision...

Good lord my incision is so tender!!! The entire under area is so sore and achy and it wraps around to the hole where my drain was on the side.. That whole area is still sore, tender and swollen too. It feels super tight right now ... I think just the fact it was cut open in the same spot 3 times in 3 months makes it feel worse but also it feels like it is tucked under and maybe that's why it's so tight feeling. It's been a week but it feels as tender as the day of. The bra rubbing there doesn't help either. I took a picture of the incision area.. Looks weird right now .. I hope as it heals it flattens and looks better. I apply ice constantly and rotate it around my breast.. That helps the discomfort. My breast is actually already feeling softer .. The top still looks and feels swollen tho. Sometimes wearing 2 of my post op spandex bras feels good.. But then other times it feels too tight and causes discomfort so I have to take one off. I'm still on my Percocet once or twice a day. Seems bad luck follows us tho... As mentioned before, my husbands brother passed a week ago... The last week has been terrible and I had spent a lot of this recovery taking care of myself ... Just as my husband was feeling in better spirits finally ... He started having pains in his side and after two days of severe pain and it causing him to start liking he went to ER and found out he has multiple kidney stones.. Two Were too large to pass, one was blocking his kidney so they had to do emergency surgery yesterday to place a stent in for him to be able to pee and then surgery again this morning to blast the kidney stones so he could pass them. He is doing much better but needless to say he and I have had a rough week! I haven't got to rest much but I make the best of when I can and luckily my boss lets me ice my boob at work! Even said "I don't care who walks in, u keep that ice on if it is helping you feel better, screw what anyone thinks!" Haha.. My boss is awesome. Also, my Drs office called today and checked in on me... Yvonne is so nice! She listens and will chit chat for as long as I want! She reassured me that the more firm spots around my breast .. Especially the little spot that sticks out a little and is tender on the inside rounding area of my breast is most likely a suture that holds the mesh into place. She said the sutures holding the mesh in place throughout my breast are longer lasting and are more noticeable but over time it Does soften like the ones used for my incision area.. It just takes longer for these ones. So I'm feeling really confident now after that talk and look forward to my appt next week with dr brou. Anyways.. Thanks for the support and kind words! Talk soon..

11 days post op..

Well, I'm feeling good.. My breast has been achy off and on and I'll feel these mild sharp pains sometimes.. Maybe that's just the nerves rebuilding or something. Around The incision area is still super tender to the touch .. Not much change to the appearance of my breast that I can tell.. With the mesh I'm not sure how much change to expect? I'm still taking pain meds maybe once a day.. But overall doing well. Breast is firm but I can tell it's getting softer.

Paranoid or could i be right?

This morning when I got undressed for the shower, I noticed my right breast even tho looks like anytime before for the most part.. But on the inner left of my breast it seems fuller/firmer than I remember before? Seems to have that similar appearance as my lower pole fullness my breast had before this last repair and hematoma removal. I'm slowly starting to panic and worry that I'm not just imagining things and I may have a hematoma AGAIN? I pray I don't but my breast just seems to look like it... The fullness my top of the breast has seemed to increased not lessened like normally you would see as your breasts drop/soften... Ontop of how the inner left side of my right breast looks and feels.. God please let me be wrong!! :( I have my appt on Thursday so my surgeon can determine if I'm right or wrong ... I just hate this. I'm just so done with all of this......

Another thing... Wth is this?!

This is the "square" shape or tender area is that I've had since surgery... Maybe an area the mesh is sutured into? Maybe that's what is causes that weird look to the inside of my breast ?

My followup appt. is tomorrow..

And I'm so freaking nervous!!! Seriously NERVOUS! not stressed anymore about my breast... But I'm still paranoid lol. Gah! I hope my appt goes well :) I have so many questions!!! :)

My post-op followup

Dr. Brou said I was healing really nicely. He felt around and had no concerns of the current firmness or anything. He said the reason the bottom was and is so tender still is because he tucked it a little further up to over correct considering the stretching and how it was lower than my other breast due to the hematoma and capsule.. But he is very confident it will soften up, and it does drop and fill out on the bottom just like a normal augmentation which I was glad to hear since it is still so full in my upper pole and sits a bit higher than my other side. AS FOR the inner round part of the breast that has that slight bulge causing a small square look.. He told me for mine, it's actually where the top and lower mesh was sutured together to my tissue.. He explained the two pieces cover the top half and then he placed a second piece below it to cover the bottom of my implant and so the sutures kind of stick out there a little. He told me the sutures he uses for the mesh are ALOT harder and more long term than the sutures used at the incision site. He said not to worry it will soften and blend in over time and that I've already started to soften really nicely for not even 3 weeks yet. He mentioned he had just visited with another woman he did the exact procedure with following a capsule and her visit was her 6 month followup and he said her results were fantastic! That the shape of her breast looked beautiful and they had softened up perfectly. It really gave me a huge relief and confidence in how my breast will heal. He said there's still such a long ways to go with healing so to just not stress about it and that he is very happy with how it looks currently :)

Tomorrow is 3 weeks post op!

And i just wanted to write a review and show my excitement ... I am loving my new cleavage! Finally sexy cleavage after over 2 years and 5 surgeries later (4 just breast surgeries, and 1 surgery was a capsule "repair" when I got my tummy tuck)!!! My right breast is 3 weeks post op tomorrow and it has gotten alot softer but still doesn't move in the pocket near what my left does.. Which is expected since I'm only 3 weeks post op. Figured I would share what they look like in even just my spanx-like surgical bra and nighty! :) I'm excited to see how my right looks when fully healed. Without a bra, my right does still sit higher and needs to fill out on the bottom more.. But so far it's slowly making progress :)

Holy nipple twinge!!

So last night I woke up in the middle of the night to my nipple and areole-area feeling like a constant ache and twinge. It comes and goes and is driving me crazy! Why is it suddenly doing that? I am 4 weeks post op (I don't know why I put I'll be 3 weeks this week, I guess they all start blending together after so many surgeries lol)... The twingeing seriously makes me want to just squeeze the hell out of my boob .. But obviously I'm not going to do that lol. I just take some pain meds and it helps briefly. Maybe it's just my nerves rebuilding? All I know is it's annoying lol

Maybe a split suture?

Noticed a red slightly hard bump at my Insision line.. The tip felt kind of pokey like the end of a suture but I'm not sure. I plan to call my surgeons office tomorrow, and I also posted a question for other surgeons on here.. Any recommendations or info about it? Also, it worries me how tender and firm the bottom (lower pole) of my breast still is... I don't recall any of my other surgeries still feeling so tender there... I don't want to Google crap cuz it's never good things you find and it freaks you out more... Figure I'd see what you all thought tho on tender breast only at the bottom and then the red bump? Thanks..

right side getting softer!

My right side has softened a lot! It still sits a little high but I'm just hoping over the next couple months it settles as much as my left has at 4 months post... Since he over-corrected and tucked a bit more than usual at my incision line to help them be even after it finished settling, it may take a bit more for it to fill out. It doesn't feel as tight around the incision line so that's nice! My boobs looked nice in my Fourth of July shirts! It will be so nice when I can wear different bras to REALLY accentuate my boobs Lol.. I'm still wearing my post surgery spanxing type bras or the one no wire cotton bra I got from Walmart. Here's a picture of my tatas I took when snap chatting a friend and decided to save it cuz I was excited about how they looked lol I'll be 5 weeks post op in 2 days .. So far everything has been going really well!!

Well..

I haven't posted a full view in a couple weeks... Even though my breast is Slowly softening, it still doesn't love very freely in the pocket and it still is sitting slightly higher (cleavage wise) .. The different in how my upper fullness/cleavage looks is really noticeable in certain tanks and my bras. When looking at this photo I just took.. I hope the lower pole fills out better .. Seems the bottom outside of my lower pole is lowering further than the inside lower pole? Maybe that's where he over corrected/tucked it and will lower a little less slanted? My upper pole above the nipple still seems to look "puffy" like a new BA.. Making my nipple face a little down... I'm hoping that lessens more as maybe it fills more towards the lower pole? I'm so nervous he may of tucked it where I won't drop as much or the mesh will keep my breast looking this way.. It's not terrible given I've had terrible lol.. But I just would like it to be more moveable and soft in the pocket .. Wonder if mesh affects that any? I would love for it to be squishy and push-up style like my left is... It's still so darn firm in the pocket. Ugh.. I have been massaging it gently like I did with my left during recovery .. Hoping it helps it go down a little more. The pic doesn't show the difference in my cleavage as much as if you were to see it in person or in a bra.. Maybe I should show what it looks like when wearing my bras. Anyways.. I think I am 6 weeks post?

Comparison photos..

Here is my before latest surgery pic and my current. The before was taken last week of May, a week before the surgery and my current is 5.5 wks post op. You can see the change in my left breast (love it, it's so pretty and natural.. Just what I wanted). And you can see the diff in my right breast (reminder:: before photo I had a capsule on the top causing the shelf, hematoma causing the fullness in the inner lower pole)... The before and after is great! But I am concerned about why my upper pole fullness seems to of gotten "higher/fuller" since my 3 day post op? I'm not sure what to think of that... :/

My split suture..

Finally got a good picture of my suture, I have been putting neosporin on it and so the redness has gone away and it's not been bothering me. My surgeons office can't get me in till next Friday at 430pm, so I called my local doctors office to see if they can just clip the suture for me and save me the trip. We had plans to go out of town camping next weekend so that late of an appt would make it where we couldn't leave town till super late due to my surgeons office is an hour and a half away. we will see!

Massaging w/ coconut oil

Well, on my lunch hours I come home and pop my right breast out and massage it with coconut oil.. And then let it kinda "breathe" the rest the time I'm home before heading back to work. My surgeon said a little gravity exposure can help it settle and I really think the top pole fullness was stemming from the bra I was wearing from Walmart that was no-wire but did support them differently than my post up spandex bras. So I stopped wearing that Walmart bra and am just sticking with my post op bras (thanks to three surgeries the last 4 months, I have a total of 3 from my surgeon lol). I also have been massaging with the oil to help the movement and softness of my breast. Since making these changes.. I already feel the top of my breast has softened a lot and not so firm.. The arch up top seems it may have gone down a little too :)

Just relaxing..

I'm laying here on the couch, did my breast massages and then let them just breathe for a bit.. Was thinking lord they actually look big and fluffy laying like this! I guess in other photos thy just don't seem like they are that big? Weird how our minds work lol

6 weeks today..

Well, so far so good.. I am 6 weeks today and feel back to normal really. My incision does ache and still feel tight tho.. But I noticied this morning the incision placement has changed.. It's no longer tucked up and not visable .. It has actually lowered below my breast crease but as my breast continues to drop (I hope) .. It will bring the incision scar back up above my crease. My breast has softened but still very firm compared to my left side (which is 4 1/2 months) it moves slightly in the pocket but pretty much only a little to the left or right when gently pressed and the most when pressing upward from the bottom but can still tell it isn't near what my left is. I don't remember what my left breast was like at 6 weeks but I definitely know how it was by 3 months when I had the surgery in my right side so I guess I'll know a better compassion by then lol. I do a massage with coconut oil.. IT has helped a little. the bottom of my breast is still tender .. I can especially feel that when I massage down there in that area. My breast shape is great.. Im definitely ALOT happier with my current results than before my last surgery! I'm just ready for it to drop a little more and not be so noticeably fluffy at the cleavage area compared to my left side. Even if the bottom isn't symmetrical .. That doesn't bother me.. I just want the top view of my breast that's viable in shirts and dresses to lower... If both breasts were the same as my right is .. I actually wouldn't mind it because it's still high round cleavage without a bra.. But, given my left and right side are 3 months apart .. It is annoying having it sit firmly up there and I can't move it around yet lol. I have no issues currently which is all I can ask for! Thank god for my surgeon :)

Appointment tomorrow..

My next follow up was supposed to be in September I think but I had to schedule an appt to remove my split stitch.. No big deal. I'm actually glad about it so I can get another reassurance everything is going well... I also wanted to ask about the bottom area of my breast. And I want the go ahead on working out again .. I'm a month and a half post op so I feel it's plenty time into recovery to go back, but don't want to unless he gives the green light tomorrow. I'm a whale right now!!! I've gained probably 10 lbs I swear ... I'm feeling so crappy and insecure about my body due to my weight right now ugh.. It's not easy going from working out everyday to not at all! Stupid repeated surgeries have only made it worse but .. These ladies are worth it! I'll update tomorrow after my appt and post a current photo! Gnight ladies :)

Cancelled the appointment ..

Well, this morning I was getting ready for work and instinctively scratched an itch at my incision on my right boob... I had a very small split stitch poking through the last couple weeks.. I just have kept neosporin on it. Well, when I scratched it.. It literally came out and my incision looks perfectly fine.. No redness or irritation wherever the stitch had come through.. Couldn't even find where it had been! My entire Insision feels smooth again. So I figure what's the point in driving an hour and a half to an appt to remove a suture that isn't even there anymore. When I called I spoke to Ashley and she agreed there wAs no reason to come down if it felt and looked perfectly fine.. She cancelled my appointment and I then asked her about working out.. She knew my history just by me giving my name LOL... Anyways, she said since I am about 6 1/2-7 weeks post op.. She told me she didn't see any issue with me getting back into the gym and to just take it easy. No high impact right out of the gate (like running) and no heavy weights .. Start with 8 lbs and work my way up.. If anything is uncomfortable don't continue. All the obvious advice and precaution I'd of taken anyways. But YAY! I can start trimming this fat again and not feel so insecure. Now that the stitch is 100% out I can start massaging that area ... Hopefully help it soften up! It's still super tight and tucked up there.have a great weekend ladies :) I'll post pics soon!

Almost 7 weeks post op

So I haven't taken any photos in a little while... My right breast has softened but honestly it feels it will never drop....the cleavage sits higher than my left and it's viable in low cut shirts. And as I take these photos... I can't help but be a little sad. My surgeon had told me at my 2nd post op that he had over corrected intentionally and tucked more than usual to prevent any sagging lower than my left... But now I feel he just made it worse. The skin is tight down around the incision, you can visably tell its tucked further up by my under view photo, it looks like I have less nipple to incision space as my left now which seems to pull my nipple downward and slightly stretches my areole. I think how tight it's tucked is preventing my implant from dropping .. It's like it's "holding it up". I can still feel my mesh suture knots along the side and bottom so ... I'm just PRAYING that when the sutures dissolve, maybe my skin will soften under my breast and my implant will move more freely in the pocket. It moved up fairly easily but not as much when doing displacement massages on the sides or top. I don't remember with my left side, if the incision area was tight and skin didn't move like it does now.. You would think I'd remember but I don't. It's like he wanted to over correct from being lower than my left.. But now it's just higher than my left ... He told me he felt it would drop and be pretty even to my left.. But now it's not even just about being uneven... He made the lower like have a shorter nipple to areole distance and made my nipple face down. I want to be happy that my right side doesn't have major issues like before.. And it's more cosmetic now.. But damn it I feel this could of been avoided.. Could he not see he shortened my lower pole distance????? It gives the view that my right side is actually smaller than my left now... Yes the front view doesn't look bad but you can see on the bottom inner side where it looks tucked in further than the bottom outside. I also took a photo of my incision as I stand normal without lifting my breast... It sits lower than my crease right now and I had been hoping that as my skin softened and started moving around and breast dropped it would move the placement of my scar but I don't know now. I'm Feeling sad ... I'm 7 weeks and just don't feel I have seen ANY change with the bottom part of my breast only the overall softening of it. :/ I'm really needing advice on how maybe to help the incision and surrounding skin to soften ... Maybe information that you all may be aware of about how this will play out by experience or other reviews you have read I may not have come across... Regarding the scar ... I'd appreciate it xo

Pics

Well. Still going good. Softening. Still higher cleavage on right side tho with the lower pole still needing to move down/fill out more. But I'm happy with them :) doing coconut oil massaging and implant displacement daily. One thing I do hope that improves is the fact due to how my implant sits higher and hasn't filled out on the bottom yet, my right nipple seriously plays "sad nipple" 24/7... In shirts you can tell if I start nipping and don't have one of my padded bras on... Right nipple faces down and looks lower, my left nipple is higher more middle location and facing outward ..which is the right place lol almost 2 months post op so I'm really hoping it improves. I can still feel the mesh sutures on each side of my breast.. It's like 1 big hard knot on each side. The inner rounding of the breast suture knot is still visible but Itll round out and soften and those heavier duty sutures dissolve :)

Feeling happier with my right boob!

This pic I took yesterday... I'm feeling so much sexier with my right boob the last couple days. I feel like it has really gotten softer and it's even dropped slightly I think! Felt like sharing :)

I am 8 weeks post op for my right side; and 5 months post op for my left :)

New sports bra

Found a new sports bra I like ... Girls look good in it!

My sports bra details.. Sorry forgot to post them before!

Got it at tjmaxx for $15. It's called marika tek; High Inpact sports bra for more support...

It has 3 adjustable clasps in the back, and a no wire molded cup so it gives a very comfortable fit for the girls! I am super picky about my sports bras, especially since I need a big cup fit with smaller fit around the ribcage... I was always running to the issue where the bra fit around the boobs but the "support" part that went around my ribcage literally had a loose gap all the way around so I never would buy any new ones. My older ones are amazing but I guess hibbets/Nike changed their style of it and it sucks now. This bra actually has a snug fit in every area of it which is awesome!

Achiness...

So the past few days I've been experiencing some achiness more than usual... It's only on the left inner-side of my right breast mostly and then it's a little on the outside of my right breast...both spots are where the mesh sutures are knotted and located at.. I can still feel the edge of the mesh along the sides .. He told me it will take longer for these heavier duty mesh sutures to dissolve than it usually takes for incision sutures... So it doesn't concern me any that I feel them. But, not sure why it's been so uncomfortably achy along the inside and outside edge only recently? Like sleeping at night I even can't get comfortable. I wish I came across more reviews of people that have had strattice so I have better reference. Calling my surgeon I'm sure they will just say aches and discomfort is normal I'm sure. I'm just ready for my right side to soften more, and drop down a little better (fill out the bottom pole)... I do see the fullness difference in some things I wear but I've managed to find ways to comoflauge it. It moves but still seems pretty firm in its pocket... I try to massage my incision and crease on the right breast to help soften and loosen up that scar area hoping it will help. I feel like this strattice is acting as a push-up wire and keeps it for u UP.. Which I hear is one think mesh can be used for is internal bras.. If my left side got the same mesh at the bottom I'm sure it would look like both have push-up wires under them and it wouldn't bother me .. But it seriously is the only peeve I have that one boob is so squishy naturally settled and the right side looks and feels like I'm in a push-up bra. I am 2 months post op so still have a ways to go.. Hoping my massaging continues to help with the implant lowering and filling out the lower pole better like my left side. other than the increased discomfort and achiness at the mesh suture knots, and waiting for the lower pole to fill out more, I'm still very happy with how they currently are :)

Next venture will be getting my tummy tuck revision!! That will be pole 3-5 years from now tho I'm sure lol

High boobie..low boobie..

Just figured I'd post what my uneven boobs current look like without a bra. YAAY! I'm still in the same boat I've been in since my first BA 2 1/2 years ago... Not able to go braless confidently! Happy thoughts !! Have a great evening ladies :)

What the heck..

So I'm sitting at work... This entire inner rounding of my breast is what has been achy the last few days... I was gently rubbing the area that's achy and noticed by touch, I can feel like a bubble? I can't see it, and it's only in this one spot... When I gently press in, it gives that feeling when you press a bubble.... I didn't notice it before but it has me slightly freaking out... I posted a photo with my index finger on the spot where I feel it. Also, my inside rounding of the breast seems more boxed than usual? I think I need to stop working out my upper body because this has me worrying!! I haven't lifted more than my surgeon recommended, I don't do direct chest muscle exercises, and I don't do running ... So I don't understand why I started feeling this a week after being back in the gym.... Any suggestions ?!

Compare photo

Strange I do the compare photo and I don't see much difference at all.. But when I look in the mirror it's noticeable?! The bubble I mentioned isn't visible... I guess the slight square off has always been there.. Not sure why I feel it's more prominent now? Lol I also am posting a profile of it.. It does look better at profile and I posted a photo of how far my scar is below the crease and how the crease is really tucked up there lol. Also, I think I may have another split stitch that is trying to make its way out ... But it's below the incision ? Still waiting for surgeon to call me back to just get reassurance things are normal lol

Surgeons office called back today..

And dr. Brou wants me to come in tomorrow so he can personally take a look at my right breast and make sure everything is healing on track and any concerns I have he can give more definite answers to instead of over the phone assumptions. I'll update after the appointment and let everyone know how it goes!

When I say something is wrong...

When I say something is wrong... I KNOW something is wrong. My intuition never seems to fail me. Went to my appt today and guess what everyone ?! I HAVE ANOTHER EFFING CAPSULE!!!! Yep. That is right. Oh and another thing.. He had told me at preop we were using TWO strattice pieces to cover the top and bottom of my implant .. He said he didn't want to risk only doing half my implant due to clearly I'm high risk to capsule. Well, today I find out he only did ONE strip bottom/side angle and left the top inner part of my breast exposed without mesh.. And THAT is the area that I now have another capsule with. Well, he felt he could get away with how he did it and obviously was wrong. He should have done what he told me he was going to do in the first place. Now, that capsule is what is Causing my upper pole to stick up and out (which of you all recall I noticed like a month ago)... Well he took pictures and needless to say his photos show what mine for some reason didn't come close to showing. My right breast looks worse than before the mesh surgery. His photos show what I have been feeling all along. I AM SO DONE. He said he is going to make some calls and do whatever it is he's gonna do and get back with me.. Why bother? He has me scheduled for another follow up in a couple months in October. But I have already decided I am not fighting this anymore... I have decided my next surgery will be to EXPLANT. No idea when that will be but I'll deal with my stupid tit till that's possible.

Weird hard lump

So, I undressed for my shower this morning and noticed this large hard bump on my side.. It's right along where my last draining tube went in and i did notice how that last tube entry hole always seemed tender longer, itchy, achy, and the source of some tightening ache now when I stretch out. I never had that before the last tube... What could of caused this and what do you think it could be ? I used the black color to draw around the area, pink arrow to show where my drain tube scar is, and the white line to show the spot of the hard bump. I'm already ready to extract!!! The more I think about it, and the more research I do, the more I have accepted it and am ok with it. I wish I had thought to ask about this Tuesday when visiting with my surgeon.. But I hadn't really noticed it as blatant as now.

Call from dr. Brou personally...

Well, my surgeon called me and we discussed what I asked in my email to Dee the coordinator a couple days ago. I told her I didn't understand why he told me we would use mesh on top and bottom.. Using 2 strips.. But that at my appt he said we only used the one at the bottom/outside. He addressed my questions and said he did infact tell me we would use 2 strips and cover the entire implant.. But when he got in there he noticed my hematoma I had and felt I didn't need the mesh on that top side after all... He said he deeply regrets making that decision and thinks about me and my situation daily. He feels it most definitely could have made a difference in my result had he gone through with using both strips of mesh. He told me since I infact did Pay for 2 strips of mesh and he used one, he would refund me for the unused mesh. I told him to be honest, I just want to explant... What if we just explant them with what my refund cost would of been. He told me that could be worked out no problem.. BUT, he said it would be done in office not under general anesthesia at the surgery center. Which literally has me freaking out even thinking about it! He told me he would rather straight explant without lift and let my breasts heal, see where they recover to (with fullness and elasticity) .. Before wanting to do a lift which is understandable. I told him we can do that, and when I am able to have my tummy revised we can do the lift at that time if we feel it's necessary. Overall, my health is what is important not vanity ... This right breast is literally dehabilitating and keeps me from living a normal life .. I can't even workout without pain.. I can't wear bras right now other than spandex post op due to my capsule discomfort. So... There it is ladies... I will be having them explanted in office. He will speak with Dee and then get back with me on when this would take place. I am so extremely nervous and scared!

Office called ...

The girl said they do a waiting list for in office procedures and it's usually done on Saturdays. They schedule a Saturday once a month. She doesn't think she has a spot for me till November but if she can find a place for me sooner she will do her best. They will call me with a set date once she knows. Also, she said they heavily medicate for this procedure so to be sure to have a driver (duh! I wasn't going to go do this alone anyways!). Also, I asked how this refund thing would work since brou told me I would get a refund for the unused mesh.. And that I was just going to apply some of the refund to that procedure and get the different refunded to me. She said this explant actually won't cost me ANYTHING and that Dee will be calling me to discuss how to get my full refund back on the unused mesh. I'll keep you all updated!

Just told my husband ...

About my calls with dr brou this morning and he doesn't think that's what I should do :(

He feels brou should refund ALL money and go back in and use the unused mesh to fix the issue since he didn't use it all like he was supposed to to begin with. I tried to tell him the mesh isn't guaranteed anyways so to go back in Again is just raising more risk to issues and I could easily still get another capsule. He said he knows this is something I desperately have wanted and he supports that and wants to help me.. But he doesn't understand I guess the emotional and physical toll this all has taken on me. He doesn't understand another repair would cost money we don't have and even if brou waived his fees .. He won't pay for the surgeey center and anesthesiologist ... I just can't take anymore risks .. I wouldn't be able to handle another failure. He told me we aren't committing to an explant till we discuss more tonight togrther. I am so torn... What if he hates the way my breasts look after explant? Easy for him to say stick it out when he isn't the one living through this nightmare IN my body.waiting it out just means daily pain and limitations for however long before that Fixing it is even possible. He thinks it's easy just to use our mesh and fix it without a second thought or expense. I don't know what to do now :(

When is it enough?

Many say keep trying to fix it... In the last 2 1/2 years I've spent 15,800 on my boobs! That's NOT including the money I had to dish out to the hospital for my emergency surgery on my right breast for internal bleeding. I've had a total of 5 surgeries on my breasts. That to me is crazy! I was so adamant to keep throwing money at them.. Even with Never a guarantee they will be fine afterwards. Everytime you go into BA surgery, especially a repair, you raise the risks of more issues. You are risking your health each time. Yes my surgeon didn't use all the mesh, but I am still not gauranteed my successful result .. Who's to REALLY say if he had put the rest of the mesh in that I wouldn't of had another capsule form? Mesh decreases the chance, not eliminate. And what if down the road a few months my left side developed a capsule? Spend another 5k on that one for mesh an repair? I have had a capsule on that side before, so it wouldn't be surprising. I'm just done spending money. Done dealing with the recoveries. Done with it interfering with my life. done with the limitations it gives me. Im done fighting it and worrying about them all the time! These were supposed to BETTER myself and make me feel more confident and happy and it seriously has done the opposite from the get go!

When we go into surgery we sign waivers stating they can have a judgement call while in surgery.. So if needed they CAN change their plan of surgery. Also, we sign something agreeing we understand the risks and the possibility our result can be less than ideal. If I had never had issues with my breasts.. Damn straight I would have them in for YEARS and enjoy them! But in my case... It just isn't happening and i don't see why I should even bother paying for another surgery to fix this and continue to be in pain longer without any promise after that. I am going to explain all of this to my husband and hope he understands. My surgeon is refunding my mesh cost, and doing the explant for free. He is making it right the best he can. I would be foolish to think he would pay out of his own pocket to a surgery center & anesthologist even if he agreed not to charge me for him personally. It doesn't work that way! It's easy for someone to say to give it one more repair before explanting... When they haven't been through what I have in 2 1/2 years. Like I said, I did try 3 times to fix my breasts and one of those after internal bleeding... that is something that can easily take someone's life! I've tried till I can try anymore. I am at peace with it whether my husband agrees or not. It's my body and it clearly hates implants lol

Feeling very...

Feeling very depressed this morning .... My mind is seriously going crazy with all of this. To let me husband call and try to get a repair for free to minimal cost or just get them out and get my mesh cost refunded? I have so many what ifs and questions... WHY didn't he just go through with the preop surgery procedure? Why did him finding the hematoma make him not use the mesh on that side? What would it have hurt to just add the mesh in while he was in there and I had already paid for that second piece? He stressed to me preop how risky it would be not to cover the entire top and bottom with mesh.. So why change his mind in surgery when I can't consent or discuss with him the pros and cons of it? I feel my rights weren't taken into consideration and I feel there's so much what if on if he had just added the second mesh WOULD I BE IN THE POSITION I AM IN? If he regrets his decision and feels I could have probably had a better outcome had he just done the 2 mesh as discussed, paid for and planned on? he wasn't even going to refund me for the expensive unused mesh .. I had to bring it up that I paid for 2 and he used one and it resulted in my capsule. I seriously have stood outside crying and so many thoughts running through.. I feel defeated and depressed....

Right boob is confusing me today..

I actually feel like my right breast isn't as firm or rounded as it had been prior? Doesn't feel as high/full on my upper pole and when I press around it actually feels squishy. Still slightly firm but more squishy than previously had been. I know when I put on my sports bra this morning it's still noticeable but after my workout and at this current point .. It feels like it has softened since this morning. What the heck is it doing?! I know it still sits high and I know capsules don't just go away.. And I know it's still there but strange how it feels softer right now ?? Quit toying with me you dumb boob! Lol

Feeling really ..

Achy, tender, sore, annoyed today!! My skin around the incision is tight, aches, throbs, sharp pains.. Which isn't new since this last surgery in June. The capsule on the top inner part of my right breast is still apparent even tho soft... I am tender and achy on the outside area of the right breast.. Not sure why really. My right breast is seriously a nagging reminder everyday of how terrible this experience has been for me. I haven't got a call from my surgeons office about a date yet .. I Plan to call and visit about if my surgeon plans to do a capsule removal when he does my explant .. Not even sure if he can do that while under local instead of general put to sleep? I just don't want to leave it in there if it will be visible and felt after explant... It's bad enough they will be pathetic looking once the implants are out and I don't want the capsule to interfere with y recovery or the however much my naturals will bounce back to. Each day I feel pain I'm just ready for it to be over with. November seems like a ways away with how uncomfortable I am everyday.. The gym is limited.. I went from 5 days a week down to 3, and I don't even bother with any upper body because it causes discomfort the rest the day even worse than normal. I am so terrified of my after results I won't lie.. It is daunting me every day when I see pictures or feel my fuller breasts ... I know I have to do an explant and it will have its pros .. It's just hard to see that positive light at the end of this long tunnel I've been down. Lord help me through this!!

Wanted to share my new inspiration!

Well.. I'm big into working out and this past 6 months has really been a damper on a steady workout due to all the surgeries and recoveries! I had my inspiration from a fitness guru but she has my body type with the implants as well... Given my situation and having them explanted I felt I needed to find a new fitness guru for a more natural body inspiration goal! This woman has my body type to a T... The hips, thighs, small upper waist, smaller flat chest... When I'm fit and before I had implants this was me! Currently her thighs are a lot more muscular than these photos I'm showing .. This are photos from her a couple years ago before her thighs got even muscular.. It's me to a T and I think she is sexy! Her body is something I need to focus on and appreciate .. She has the flat chest I will soon have again and it can help me work through this tough adjustment :) small chested women Can be sexy too! I don't need the big boobs to be beautiful and I can choose to not let them define me!

Here is a look at my PRE-BA naturals

I was a 34a/small b. 2 kids so I didn't have much volume on top.

Feeling restless..

It's been over a week since I last spoke to my surgeons office .. The girl I spoke to last said they only schedule these types of in office procedures once a month on a Saturday ... And since there are 2 women ahead of me on the list, it'll be like November unless they see a way to schedule sooner. I haven't heard from them regarding a date or about my refund details yet.. My husband did call Wednesday and got a call back yesterday but she said she had been out of town so she was going to speak to brou about my refund details and then call my husband back. He is going to try and get as much back as possible for me. I'm really hoping it's not November before I explant .. I really don't want to deal with recovery around the holidays AND that's a "black out" period for work so they rather nobody in the office take off work during that time. I also don't want it in November because we have a trip to Vegas planned with some friends in February and I would really like to be recovered and back in the gym with well enough time to really feel back to normal and in shape by then. Right now I can't workout 100% because of my discomfort in my right breast.. I don't workout my upper body at all and just do low impact cardio and my lower body/back/abs ... I'd hate to have these restrictions for another 3 months :(

Hopefully they call soon so we can get this ball rolling !

Something uplifting ...

Here is something I came across that I think speaks volumes for anyone going through something difficult regarding their BA or revisions etc like me and having to explant like me.. Or even the women that simply don't want their implants anymore not for a reason regarding issues and are concerned about their post explant results! SELF LOVE ladies xo

Spoke to surgeons office...

First I received an email this morning with the itemized bill of what costs went to what from my last surgery. Turns out, I DIDNT pay for 2 pieces of mesh, I was very confused when the coordinator told me this because my surgeon told me we would be having 2 pieces of mesh prior to the surgery, and when I spoke to him a couple Friday's ago he told me there were two pieces of mesh but he only used one so I could be refunded the other piece... I called the coordinator after I received this email and wanted her to explain because I was confused. She said they have some deal or whatever with the company that they get the mesh from a "buy one get one free"? I was never made aware this I guess and my surgeon must not fully be aware of how his coordinator does the quotes and costs etc because he told me there was a second piece i paid for. She said I paid for one piece of mesh and the second was free so there is nothing to refund me after all. Glad to know they got a free piece of mesh off me to make money off of for someone else! Anyways, that is why I was never approached with a refund after the surgery and only one mesh being used, so I guess that's good in the sense my surgeon wasn't being shady. He simply made a bad judgement call on not using the 2nd mesh. Anyways, that's the update on that. So I'll continue to pay on my finance care credit card and get no refund BUT I am getting the explant free in office. I spoke to the coordinator about a date being set for the explant because I had spoke to another girl and she was saying something around November but I hadn't heard anything since and would really like to get a date for it and preferably sooner than November so I can move on with my life. She said she would speak to brianne (the girl I originally spoke to about my explant scheduling) when she comes back to the office tomorrow and then call me herself when she gets a date for me. Cross your fingers it's not going to be November!!!

I have been having so many mixed emotions... Especially when I see women with beautiful fake boobs.. Like when my husband and I watch bachelor in paradise and so many of them have fake breasts and they look beautiful and natural.. I immediately get sad and want to keep mine... But then reality hits that, that just isn't possible for me. Not for the sake of my health, or my mind, or my wallet. It'll be a rough road but I know I have the strength to get through this. I think the sooner I can get the surgery and be done with it I can be on the road to a final recovery. I'll update as soon as I get a call with a surgery date!

Some more pre-BA photos I found

Trying to discover my self-love.. Starting with loving my body how it looked before BA! I will soon be back to this and i feel it's important to see my beauty looking at my natural body before any implants.

The photo takin with a mirror, black pants and gray shirt.. That's actually a photo taken the morning of my first BA before leaving the house.

The other photos are from various times prior... The black sexy dress photo was from my 24th birthday .. I was a little heavier so my breasts filled out a tad more (also with the help of a nice strapless push-up ;) haha)

Feeling..

Really good today. I have been focusing on the pre-BA photos of myself... I really did have a beautiful natural body. I feel I damaged my breasts... Spent thousands of dollars .. For nothing. I will have scars.. Especially on my right side.. The scar is so Long and thick... It will be visible once explant is done. But.. You know what? That's ok. I will finally be Healthy again. I will finally be worry free in what I do in life making sure "I don't damage the implants or cause problems". I will be Free and it does sound so nice. I posted a couple more pre-BA photos of me I really like :) I was running daily, weight lifting (not as consistent as I am into now tho)... My goal body post explant are the 2 other photos of the woman with small breasts like mine and a body shape like mine... But, once explant is done I can hit the gym serious and hard core to get my body more fit like hers and shape my ass more building more muscle ... Seeing what realistic goals I can have in place and strive for with my NATURAL body gives me hope :)

Doctors office called!

They have me scheduled for SEPTEMBER 9TH at 11:30am! Holy crap that is a week and a half away!!!!!

I won't have a consult prior, so I spoke to the lady about some questions I had. She said as for the capsule releases, he will just see how it all looks and feels after he removes the implants but she said they won't want to be digging around in there for a really long time with me awake on local. She said sometimes they come out easily with implant and sometimes they are really difficult to remove .. Given I won't be asleep under general she said he doesn't want to go to extensive. She said I will be given Valium and Percocet ... And litocain (sp?) to numb the incision areas. I forgot to ask about drains, and I feel I forgot another question too.. So I'll call back once I remember everything. I had it all wrote down but of course she called when I didn't have my purse with me that I had my list in. lol

I'm SO FREAKING NERVOUS!!! Omg....

crazy dream last night!

so, when i first woke up all i could think was what the hell?! thank heavens that was a dream because it felt so real! I only had certain chunks of the dream, and after marmaloda mentioned her having a dream i started to think about mine and it pieced together. maybe its my subconscious just being crazy with all my nerves lately about my upcoming explant!

Anyways, my dream started out with my husband and i, and a couple friends hanging out. Not sure where we were because it wasn't home. My surgery is scheduled for 11:30am, and i remember reminding my husband numerous times we needed to leave so i wasn't late. (we live 1 1/2 hours away from my surgeons office). Time kept passing by, and i notice we are now going to be a few minutes late if we left right then.. I'm panicking and telling my husband we needed to leave for my explant appt..that if we are more than 20 min late we won't be able to have it done! he seems irritable, and not taking me seriously. Time kept ticking by, and i finally get him in the car to leave, as well as i guess the 2 friends joined too?... as we are driving... i kid you not, our tire blows out! (i just got news last friday that my tires need replaced because 3 of 4 are considered legally bald with no tread). I panic more and we start arguing, I'm telling him its his fault etc etc. He gets out with a friend to work on the tire, i realize there is no way we will make my appt. and now it'll be cancelled. I call my surgeon and explain to them whats going on and they tell me "Sorry, we will just have to reschedule you to november..." and I literally start crying saying i simply can't wait another 3 months!! They said it wasn't their problem, they had managed to fit me in during the week day in the first place for that appt and it was my fault we didn't make it in time. I sit there crying and ask to speak to my surgeon. and seriously, he appears out of no where to speak to me? So we are sitting there in the car talking, me expressing how much i needed this explant done now and not in 3 months and gave the same info about holidays, not able to take off work as easy during that time of year, vegas in february..etc,,, and he was adamant we couldn't make it work now that i missed my appt. he ends up leaving, but get this, he leaves on a bicycle...and one for parapalegics?? like my surgeon was paralyzed from the waist down or something?? LOL no idea.... anyways, he has 4 other men with him on their bicycles, and they leave! my husband comes over to me, says they can't fix my tire, hands me something, and then says he is leaving me!! says he doesn't approve of my explanting (he cracked a small joke about my small boobies ill have, earlier yesterday, which kind of hurt my feelings, but i know he didn't mean any harm by it..but i am sensitive right now so maybe thats where him leaving came into play in my dream)....i freak out and am bawling telling him he made me miss my explant appt on purpose, etc.. and then i wake up... holy crap talk about a scary dream :(

One more week...

I am exactly a week away from my explant.

How am I feeling? Pretty good actually. I don't pay attention to my breasts much, and when I do, it reminds me how ready I am to have them out. Goodbye ball and chain!

I obviously still have some nerves and worried about the procedure itself .. Surprisingly I am not as concerned with my post explant result, and I've told myself I'm not going to look at them right away.

For the first time in 6 months I let my husband play with my tatas while being intimate! I always left my shirt on, this last time he told me "to take my Damn shirt off" because he wanted to see my beautiful and sexy self haha. I told him eh I dunno.... So his response? "I thought you were sexy before implants with your little boobs, I think you are sexy now, and I will find you sexy after they are gone". Gah, so I left my stretchy Hanes sports bra on, but then he pulled my shoulder straps off over my shoulders and I even let him legit play with BOTH .. Figure why the hell not, I only have them for another week so might as well let him enjoy them. He was careful with my right side tho. :) love him :)

It's good to see so many RS friends doing well, so happy for you all! And for the ones going through some tough times with theirs like me...whether indecisive of rxplanting, waiting for your explant date, or just having issues that you are wanting to stick it out and fix! Just know...Everything will be ok, you are strong, you are beautiful, and your boob size doesn't define you as a person inside or on the outside!

I will miss my boobs but at the same time I won't. I may not LOVE them after explant.. In all their saggy, no volume, toddler cup size .. But, I have to remind myself ... IM NOT HAPPY OR IN LOVE WITH THEM HOW THEY ARE NOW, Or at all in fact this past 2 1/2 years. They have always had a CC whether in my left or right since 2 years ago .. The first 6 months were actually fine. So, I would much rather save the money and my mental state and benefit my health by saying bye bye !!

We are going on a family trip over Labor Day weekend and so that should be fun! Hopefully my work days between now and next Tuesday go quickly ! Ready for my little titty bitties hahaha

Funny story from this morning...

So, I have these adorable gray boots I really wanted to wear today but I don't have a lot that goes with them. I'm standing there digging into my closet.. I find one of my old favorite yellow summer dresses that I had been able to wear before my implant exchange in March (only without bra tho, but was form fitting and thick fabric so looked great and appropriate)... I hadn't tried it on since the exchange to bigger implants .. Mainly because of all my issues I've had ...

Well, I tried it on this morning and even if my right breast healed great like my left .. There was no way that dress was appropriate for public LOL. It fit perfect everywhere but my boobs.. I had to try it on braless of course just like how I had to wear it before with my smaller implants, it zips up but holy crap my tits were porn star pushed up and saying HELLO hahaha totally not work appropriate dress anymore. I'm not gonna lie, it looked pretty sexy still (even with my weird right boob). Anyways, I took the dress off and I immediately said to myself.. "Well, least I'll be able to fit back into that dress after my explant next week!" And stuck it back in my closet LOL. I wish I had taken a pic for you all to see.. Was so funny. There are many dresses and tops I'll be able to wear again now that I'll have smaller boobs .. Silver lining ladies ;)

A part of me will definitely miss these..

I have a lot of back and forth emotions about these stupid boobs. In some split moment they look great and then reality hits. My right side is similar to squishy firm as my left, but it sits higher and has this weird under curl thing where my incision is. When I lay on my back they look totally different, when I'm standing upright fully they look different, I have to slouch to make my right look like my left. Still feeling some discomfort with my right side. I love love love the way my left looks and feels 100%... Which makes it super saddening I am removing them when I know what they can look like as a pair .. But at what cost and how many more surgeries would I have to endure to make that possible for both at the same time?

One thing I was thinking about the other day... Is why is it, that most of us women are willing to "deal with" and ignore of our fake breasts that have issues, disfiguring appearances, uneven, rippling, capsules, whatever the case may be... Why is it so many are willing to accept that appearance in their breasts just for a "larger look"... Yet it is absolutely aweful and difficult to accept your natural breasts .. whetner saggy, too small, wrinkly, no volume, or whatever else the reason to wanting implants? I speak this because I have been in the same warped sense of "what's acceptable" and body shaming .. I still struggle with that to this day. So I really do want others answers to this question. Why do us as women accept bad boob jobs, the imperfections post BA ... The constant physical and mental issues with them, and say "no boobs are perfect, so it's ok I love them even with their unevenness and rippling and slight capsules" (that can be ignored).. And whatever else.. Yet the very reason we get implants is because we don't like the imperfections of our natural breasts? I mean.. My natural breasts may have had no volume but when I look back on them they were damn near perfectly symmetrical. They weren't super perky but they weren't really low saggy either. No wrinkling. Now.. After trying to strive for perfection and perky boobs.. I will be left with not only a fail in fuller breasts, but more stretched out most likely way saggier breasts, wrinkling, and ugly scars. For what? A horrible 2 1/2 years experience? I WILL learn to accept and find the beauty in my natural imperfect breasts just as someone would oddly find acceptance in their fake distorted and imperfect breasts. I will rock my size B cups proudly and find my confidence again in my real breasts. :) here are my final parting photos ... A view when I slouch and make them pretty and the illusion of perfect in clothes ... And then a view of the bottom of my breast that look weird and tucked up.

My explant will be done in 3 days! Wednesday at 11:30am

Didn't upload any of the pics

Hopefully it works this time...

Explant tomorrow...

Dr office called and told me they were calling my Valium in at my pharmacy today (2 pills). Also, that they tried mailing me my Percocet prescription but I guess they forgot postage and it came back to them... So we have to go a little early to pick it up and go get it filled before my appt so I can take one with my Valium before my procedure. They told me to wear comfy clothes (obviously) and take my pills 30-40 min prior to my appt. I'll be wrapped for the first day or two, then can transition to a compressed bra. They told me whether or not my capsules are removed depend on what he sees when he's in there and if it's soft or not... Also, will determine if drains are necessary once they are out as well.

I'm feeling very very anxious, nervous, scared... About the procedure itself and how I will feel after they are gone. I hope I can maintain my positive mind set .. I find myself crying if I talk to my husband about it .. But he has been amazing about cheering me up and being supportive and ensuring.

Definitely need a lot of prayers, thoughts, and support... Thank u ladies xo
I'll update tomorrow afternoon when I can .. Night

No explant..

I'm really upset. Will post later.

The procedure update...

Well, my husband and I get there an hour early, pickup my Percocet prescription and go get it filled. We get back to the office, I had taken my Valium and Percocet already. They call me back, my surgeon comes in and looks at my breasts... Then says he sees improvement in my right breast since a month ago when he saw me. He strongly felt I shouldn't explant, and to give it a couple more months to really know for sure how my breast finishes healing. He took photos and compared to the ones from a month ago... Yes I see where the top of my breast isn't as high, and the inner part has rounded more .. Before it had more of a square look. But other than that, I saw NO change. I HATE the bottom of my right breast and I really let him know it. I feel his "over correct" left my under boob looking tucked and ugly. He told me given the changes he sees in the last month, he really feels it may get better. He said of the lower part of the breast doesn't improve or fill out.. Then there are things he can do in office for free to fix it. But, he insisted not doing the explant yet. He left me there to think about it and my husband came back to help me decide. Well, I was in tears, confused, and I really still wanted to explant but my husband and surgeon really felt I needed to give it more time before going through with it. I told him I WILL NOT pay to do anything else to my breasts. My husband and I took a bit discussing, my surgeon comes in and says even if we went through with the explant we now would have no time to actually do the procedure because too much time had passed so it would have to be rescheduled again. Reluctantly I agreed to wait the two months. I don't go back till Early November for a consult to see if anymore progress had been made. I seriously am so effing pissed right now. I am NOT confident in giving this breast more time. I have cried ALL day. He wants me to do massaging and to be frank.. Fuck the "restrictions" I have given myself the last 3 months.. I am tired of taking it easy on the gym, I will do whatever the hell I want and live my damn life. I'm going to run. I'm going to do upper body. I haven't got to do any of they for 6 damn months. So. Guess we will see what the next 2 months bring. And once again, if I end up explanting still, it will be done during the WORST TIME OF YEAR!!! So so so mad !!!!

Update on my situation...

First off, I want to thank each and every one of you that left messages on my last post! I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to reply to them, I honestly have been so upset I retreated and haven't been back on much. So do know, I read them all and appreciate the support very much.

I had emailed my surgeons coordinator yesterday morning, expressing my concerns, my feelings on what happened, and that I wanted a procedure done November 13th when I come back. I told her to show my email to brou and get back with me. The coordinator called me this evening to respond to my email. She said she got my email and had brou read it... They discussed it and she was very helpful. I know a lot of you don't understand all of this as much as me, and I'm still upset about how it all went down.. But I do feel better with everything after speaking to dee.

She told me dr brou completely understands my concerns and my feeling upset over Wednesday's deal and that it 100% wasn't his intention when he saw me. She said he explained that when he saw me a month ago he was so sure by how my breast looked and felt, that there wasn't anything I could do unless I spent more money to fix the capsule etc. so he was in agreeance with me on explanting. IM the one that pushed for explant and pushed for it ASAP. Brou said when he saw me for my explant, he had every intention on doing the procedure ... But when he saw the progression in my right breast, he was so surprised and it was unexpected given where it was a month ago. Yes it still sits a little higher and the bottom crease area of my right side is tucked in but the top pole definitely had lessened and my overall breasts has softened more. It still doesn't move AS freely as my left (but they are 3 months and 2 extra surgeries apart from each other). He felt in his many years of experience, that he just did not want to give up on them yet. He knows how much I did want them, hell I spent over 15k on them!! He knew I would keep them if I hadn't had another issue after June's repair surgery. At the time a month ago explant was my best and only option ... I mentally prepared for it and accepted that fate. He said he truly likes his patients to wait 5-6 months to really know where their breasts settle to... Considering I've had so much trauma to my right side in 6 months he feels it's taking it longer to heal (since he saw improvement Wednesday) I am 3 months currently from last surgery. He begged me to give him 2 more months to see if my right breast continues to change.. explanting is Not off the table. He feels he is doing what's best, he is confident in his decision and I isn't telling me I can't have an explant .. He just said he doesn't want to give up just yet till I'm at least 5 months post op and we see where I am at...and yes, I see where he is coming from the more I spoke to them about it.

He said in 2 months, he will consult with me again and see where I'm at. If their is progress and my implant looks great then we can schedule for an in-office simple revision he can do to fix the lower breast shape and fix how my crease is too far up from the incision..which is Giving my breast a smaller lifted appearance. BUT, if there is no change between now and 2 months from now... He said he will have no problem performing my explant because he will then feel he did everything and took every opportunity as my surgeon to get me the result I had continuously paid for.. But this time, if explant is done, it will NOT be done in office under local.. He would rather do it at the surgery center under general. He feels more comfortable that way, as do I, honestly. He said he likes the freedom with time do whatever is needed and fixed in explant without worrying of how long it's taking while I'm under local. And he can truly give it as much time as needed for making explant results as ideal as possible. When Dee told me he wanted to do explant at surgery center ... as I was about to speak up saying I will not do that due to the anesthesiologist and surgery center fees... Dee told me he said he was going to pay for my costs to go have the explant done at a surgery center. (The reason we originally decided explant in office is due to I can't afford anymore expenses and in office he wouldn't charge me his fee)... So, that made me SO happy he said he would pay for the surgery center and anesthesiologist fees for my explant. And I feel way more comfortable about general vs. local... Especially if he has to mess around in there a bit to remove capsules etc.

So. In 2 months, I will either have made more progress and can keep the implants and he will fix my crease that causes discomfort and deformity for free. Or, we won't see anymore progress and we will schedule an explant still free of charge. I am OK with waiting the 2 more months ... And I do trust my surgeon and I do still feel he has my best interests at heart. He knows I wanted to keep them, and he feels there is still a chance, without it costing me anything ... And, if all else fails.. I get the explant that I've already prepared myself for.. And I'll be just fine :)

Thank you ladies for all your support. I hope this all makes sense, I probably rambled and repeated but I just wanted you all to know it'll be ok, and I will be ok! It's two months... I will keep taking it day by day, and I haven't been hurting lately.. Maybe here and there ... So November 13th will be here before I know it! Xo have a good night

Massaging techniques ...

My surgeons office mailed me massaging techniques ... I wish I had been given this sooner! I will be doing these with both breasts every day, twice a day for the next two months till my next appt to see where I go from there. It says as long as you have implants these massages need to be done to prevent cc.

I figured I would upload the massaging techniques for other women still with their implants :)

Also, I had a dream last night that I had an explant done but I did it and not my surgeon? What the heck?! Haha

Tender..

Since starting the massaging... My rift breast in the bottom outside area where the strattice was put in, is tender... I hope that's normal for massaging with mesh? It's super soft and squishy when I massage... But just has that tender feeling when pressed on

Been a little bit...

Since I last updated. I feel fine, no pain or discomfort. My right breast still sits higher but it's not as noticeable as it had been in July/early August. It has softened a lot, and rounded more on the inside part of my right breast. It still doesn't give way much at the bottom when I do massage displacement ... My surgeon said if the overall breast has improved, we can fix the issue of my bottom breast in office so I try not to focus much on the way it's over corrected and tucked up... It does affect the way my bras fit and how my breast looks in a regular bra. I am still only wearing my stretchy danskin sports bras or my post op stretchy bras. I feel very indifferent about my right breast... As it gets softer I think "oh maybe there's hope" but then I do notice still how it sits.. And it bothers me. It doesn't move AS freely as my left side. And when I push up from the bottom it doesn't have the same level of cleavage. When I squeeze them together or leave over, I can see how my left side looks bigger. Also, I noticed this morning I have rippling under my right breast ... It's only when I'm leaning over that I can see and feel it. I'm confused as to what the issue is with my right breast... Do I have a capsule? My surgeon said I did when my right breast looked and felt terrible early August... But now that it has softened considerably and the top pole has gone down a lot, it doesn't feel like a cc.. If it is, I think it's just stage 1 .. Very mild. And maybe that's what's keeping the implant from moving as freely as the left. I can't tell if it's that, or the way my surgeon over corrected my bottom crease, the mesh, or what.. That is causing my bottom right breast not to fully settle. It honestly feels like a barrier under there. I have a month and a half before my visit with dr. Brou in November.. Time will tell if anymore changes happen between now and then. I bought a Victoria secret bra a couple weeks ago, I hate buying online but we don't have one in town... Of course it fit weird and I hate it and need to return it. I planned to start running this last weekend, but my endometriosis pain started up and i haven't been able to workout. I'm hoping to feel better in a day or two more and I'll give the running a try! I haven't been able to run since end of February before my March 2nd surgery!! I am still all for explanting if things don't get better the next month and a half.. I am completely ok with it. But I also am completely ok with keeping them if my right side gets better. Here are some pics.. My current front view I am leaning to the side a little.. Not sure why I always do that in mirror boob selfies ..so it may not look as uneven than it really is in person

Few pics with a shirt on..

Just wanted to show what my chest looks like with a loose fitting shirt on, and how my cleavage looks ...since I'm only wearing post op surgeey bras obviously the girls don't have high cleavage .. They actually sit really natural, which I like, because then I can choose to show them or not. Gives you an idea of the improvement in the upper pile of my right breast ... It still sits a little higher, but not near what it had been... I also took pics of each breast as a somewhat profile to show how similar they look on the top without any "oomph" pushing up.. Just resting. My inner "rounding" of each breast does look different because of how my right side is slightly higher and I believe the mild CC is on the inside/top area of that breast.

I'm back with an update !!

I'm so sorry if it felt like I abandoned my fellow real self friends... After my cancelled explant situation I really needed to distance myself and collect myself. It has been a busy almost 2 months since I would have had my explant. I haven't had any issues and have softened up a lot since. I had a visit with my surgeon today and he was extremely impressed by my current result. My right side is soft, squishy, moves, and hasn't been causing any issues. I do have some tenderness still on the bottom but that is expected. My right side crease is still weird to me but when I'm just standing you can't really tell.. But when I raise my arms you can see it. He explained to me that it is like that because of all the surgeries so close together, my fat pretty much died off around the incision area and that's why it goes from implant to rib cage the way it does. He said it can be fixed with a couple fat transfer visits (we didn't discuss any details of that really, because it wouldn't be anytime soon). My next visit is 6 months from now. My left is still great .. No issues what so ever! The top of my breasts are pretty darn close to even and match. He said whatever bras I want is fine and exercising has no restrictions. I chose to stop exercising since my sept. 9 appt when I was about to explant.. I wanted no question I wasn't interfering with recovery anymore. My right side does seem a little smaller but he said regular bras will help camouflage that in clothes.. My husband doesn't care really lol. I hope all is well with everyone! I have a couple particular I need to check on, hope everyone has a great Halloween! Xo

Pics & first run in 8 months!

Good afternoon ladies! After my explant ordeal and having to wait 2 months I decided to stop working out to ensure I wasn't the one interfering with my recovery. I gained some weight in Doing that, but weight can be lost, and I gained getting to keep my boobs! I have some new pictures.. Other than my under boob issue (which will be fixed later) I am happy with my imperfect right side boob. Love my left perfect boob lol.

I went to the gym for the first time since early sept before my "would of been explant" ... And guess what!? I RAN! For the first time in 8 months I finally was able to go running again and managed 2 1/2 miles !! It felt so good and my boobs didn't hurt what so ever ! My sports bra kept them right in place :)

Hope all is well with everyone!

Left side; 8 months--right side; 5 months

Just some pics I took tonight. With bra and without a bra. My right side is doing well, still softening more .. I can feel slight differences between it and my left but I'm happy with them. I'm just happy I got to keep them!

It's been awhile...

I am currently 1 year 2 months post op on my left breast and will be 1 year post op on my right breast come Early June. My boobs had a rough ride but are doing great now! My right side is softening every month.. I have an issue with my under boob on the right side.. Which I've mentioned previously. I had an appt last week and my surgeon said now that my right side is coming up on a year, we can finally schedule for the fat grafting to fix my right under boob. He had mentioned in office before, but Monday when the coordinator emailed she gave quote for surgery center/anesthesia but his fee was free & im like ummm no, this was supposed to be all free in office. Per my surgeons words. So, I replied and asked her to ask him why he changed it from in office to the surgery center .. I didn't want to pay more and he knew that. She replied back again and said my surgeon said in office was fine, no problem. So! I told her I would like to schedule it for June and I'm waiting to hear back on an officially date! Hopefully this fixes my issue.. He is confident it will! He will lipo fat from inner thighs and flanks and then inject it into my under boob. I don't have any bare boob shots right now.. But here are some photos I've taken clothed..

My under boob

When I raise my arms my right breast looks like this. It's hard to tell here fully but there is about an inch gap between my incision scar and implant when I do raise my arms. Makes my bras fit weird under the breast and will ache.. It's literally skin to rib.. No fat. Brou adding fat will fill it in and hopefully help. It pulls right and is uncomfortable. When my arms are down, it isn't noticeable which is why my shirts look good with them.. But, my right side does look a tad smaller due to less fat on the bottom of the breast.

Had my fat transfer procedure done!

Today at 2pm I went and had my in-office fat transfer done. I was so nervous!! I have never had a procedure done under local ... I had 2 Valium & 1 Percocet. He did many lidocaine numbing shots in the area he was going to lipo and then some numbing stuff he shoved inside under in the tissue .. That was super uncomfortable. But, I didn't feel anything but tugging and shoving as he did the lipo. when it was transferred to my right breast... There were some areas that were really uncomfortable and some areas that tickled LOL. I am very swollen, achy, I can imagine once the numbing has worn off and the current pain meds do too.. I'm going to be feeling much worse. Here's some photos.. Of each upper butt/flank area he lipo'd and then the before and after of my breast! It looks so much better now and I am so happy. I hope even after some absorbs and the swelling subsides it'll still keep a lot of its fill. My surgeon didn't charge me for this, considering the road we have been on this past year !! and I am so so thankful and appreciative!! He is absolutely amazing and I couldn't ask for a better surgeon!

2 days post in-office procedure

Well, it's been 2 days since I had my fat transfer procedure done in my surgeons office. I haven't had to take a pain pill since yesterday around 1pm. As of this morning, I'm still obviously sore and tender but as for pain.. It is very mild if at all. I only have a couple spots of bruising currently... I'm sure I'll have more show in the next few days. My right breast still looks great under where he added the fat!!! Even the rest of my breast feels it has softened since this fat transfer and the fat has improved my overall breast not just the under part. I am BEYOND ecstatic !! I just am taking it very cautiously and praying everyday it stays looking this way and that not too much of the new fat absorbs. My surgeon did an amazing job.. I seriously can't praise him enough. I love and adore him! I know when it comes time I get to do my tummy tuck revision he will take just as much amazing care of me. If you are debating on going to dr. Brou.. Don't go anywhere else!!! He is 100% the best in every aspect!!

1 week update post fat transfer

Well.. I've been taking it easy, and hoping for the best! My lipo areas are still pretty tender and sore. My breast isn't bad at all really. I've been wearing a spandex type sports bra since the procedure. My surgeon told me some of the fat does absorb post transfer... As of one week today.. I can tell some has Infact absorbed .. Which is saddening. Even though it's common & almost guaranteed to happen and they warn you of it.. I can't help but worry I did something to cause the fat to decrease this past week. I can see a slight difference from my day of procedure look. BUT.. My under boob still looks a little better than it was before! As long as no more fat absorbs/dies I am ok with where it's at now. Here is a photo of my before, day of procedure, and my 1 week post ....

Achy

My right breast has really been achy since my fat transfer a week and a half ago. Mostly centralized and through my nipple. Just nerves maybe??

2 week follow-up

Just left my appointment. Even though some fat has absorbed.. And he says some MAY continue to over the next 3 months (I hope not because then it will look like it did before). I can handle the little that has so far .. Because it's soft under my boob and the coloring is better and my scar isn't AS far from my implant when my arms are raised.. If I lose anymore transferred fat then i will be back where I was and that'll be so disappointing. Currently all is good tho!! :)

1 month post transfer

Well.. More fat from my transfer has died. Kinda sad about that. I knew I would most likely lose more .. Dr said first three months is when I'll lose and and then whatever's left after that should be fine. At this rate by 2 more months from now there probably won't be any more fat left from transfer and the procedure would be for nothing. I started back at working out last Wednesday.. Feels good! At this point I'm just whatever about my boobs. Tired of putting my life on hold for them. At least if anything the procedure did soften my right breast more.

Update

My left breast is 16 months post its second surgery (implant replacement) and has done extremely well the entire time. My right breast had been the troublemaker and is 13 months post 3rd implant replacement and mesh added. I did have the fat transfer early last month around the second week of June and it is doing alright. Had a lot of the fat absorb so my scar is still visible when I raise my arm but not near what it had been. My right breast is smaller than my left given the natural fat difference but I'm content with where my breasts are currently.
Oklahoma City Plastic Surgeon

I have had three consults with him and he is so great. After my last experience with a plastic surgeon.. I couldn't of asked for a better one in dr. Brou! He is honest, informative, nice, and I feel comfortable with him. He and his staff are awesome to work with. I am confident in him doing this surgery and can't wait to see the results. Update: my surgery was performed yesterday and the surgery center staff were all very nice! Also, last night, even though I was asleep and missed his call, he personally left me a voicemail checking up on me and to let me know I can call back if I have an issues or questions before my follow up this morning. That to me, was so awesome!

5 out of 5 stars Overall rating
5 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
5 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
5 out of 5 stars Wait times
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