Too Expensive.. But Saved For Too Long - London, GB

What did you want to be when you grew up? I grew up hoping I was going to be just like Barbie. Perfect, feminine features & the envy of every girl.. especially with a boyfriend like Ken! Alas, I didn't realise at the time that being born a girl was not the luxury for me, & there wasn't anything I could do to change this. It wasn't disastrous though, I learnt how to repress my feelings & emotions from a very early age, so not before long I blocked out my girly aspirations & 'manned up'. Only problem is, I still hoped deep down that if nothing else, I could be a twink, girly boy, or all round feminine gay guy. God however, had different plans, & decided to develop my aesthetics through puberty from the hope of; "He looks a bit like a girl", to "He's a rough boy". I put all this on my shoulder & carried on for a bit, but the misery & self-hatred remained the same. I began self-harming & saying the most awful things about myself, primarily because of my appearance & who I am. As you can tell, the way I look & the person I am (on the outside), are the root of almost all of my problems, and i've never had the money or the luck to change that.

And as you can tell, the nose is a big factor. Going through school I was lucky enough to never, ever be bullied. I did get a hell of a lot of negative comments regarding the way I looked though. "Hey, duck boy!", "Pinocchio!", "Pig nostrils!". General nicknames which to most guys would've been seen as just banter, but to me they were nothing more than hurtful insults. I'd tell you I shrugged them all off, but i'm not sure exactly how many times i'd pray at night to a God I no longer believe in to throw me a bone & give me some help. I've asked the NHS for some help as well, but all they've done for me is prescribed me anti-depressants & therapy, as they're "all that is going to be prescribed for the indefinite future". Which is great because; instead of fixing the problems, i'd rather be reminded that they're always going to be there. Thanks mental health team, not like i've tried to attempt suicide (twice) over this or anything. Oh, more anti-depressants? Cool, that'll help.

So like everything i've ever done in my life, I realised in my teens that i'm once again going to be on my own, with no help, & having to do it all myself. It starts with the nose. I find this to be the biggest of the several issues on my face (even though many would say teeth, & that's a fair assessment), so i've been scrimping & saving every penny that doesn't get spent on paying bills & buying necessities, to hopefully be able to afford some procedures. Only problem is, i'm a (not famous so don't ask) YouTuber, & i've grown up living poor, so it's taken me years & years to even get close to what I consider is a fair price for rhinoplasty, but... i've got there.

Shame that doctors don't like sob stories. Might've helped me save a few pennies if they felt sorry for me, damn. Anyway, after reading multiple reviews on here of several different doctors, I chose one to book a consultation with; Dr Lucian Ion. He's based in London, so i'll have to travel a bit to get to him, but his work seems very good & one very lovely reviewer on here has swayed me to him. I was thinking about choosing Dr Basim Matti, but after doing more extensive research on him, I found quite a lot of negative reviews (particularly about his attitude, which is a huge turn off for me) & that the price was often a couple thousand more. Sorry Doc, but I grew up counting my lucky stars to just have food on the table every night, & sometimes I didn't even get that. I've booked a consultation with Dr Ion for the 28th January 2015, almost 2 months from now. I've got to pay £150 just to get that done as well, I was lucky to earn that in half a year back in my early teens. Working in a pub before school for peanuts was no fun! So yeah, it's safe to say i'm not booking a consultation with any other doctors unless it's free (ha), because there's no way i'm giving up any more of my very, very hard earned money on this. I know people always say to choose at least two, but unless you're paying for me i'm sticking with one.

Anyway, that's my long-winded, ultra-depressing, super-boring introduction. Oh yeah, and my name is J, I turned 22 last Saturday, and I have attached some photos for you. (Probably should have opened with that, would've been a lot easier)

Not really an update. Just took down 3 of my 4 original pics as they were awful. Here are some better ones. My consultation is coming up on Wednesday morning. I'll be sure to let you know how it goes. I'm a little nervous as I have a really bad feeling that i'm going to be quoted a price way over what i'm expecting or that Dr Ion won't want to operate on me for some reason... or both! I don't know. Just my anxiety playing up I think.

So yesterday I travelled to London to meet Dr Ion for my rhinoplasty consultation. His location is Harley Street, which sounds posh enough on it's own, and it certainly appeared that way when I got there. As I went inside, I was greeted by a receptionist who asked me to fill out a 5 page form which I completed whilst waiting for Dr Ion. I sat opposite a typical 'toff', with his fancy posh accent & £2000 watch. He looked like he earns my yearly salary in under a month, and I sat there in a hoodie I bought from Primark, £15 jeans and trainers i've been wearing since I was still in school. I've never felt so out of place in my entire life. The fact that I almost called Dr Ion; 'bruv', as he greeted me sort of summed it all up. Thankfully I didn't, and we walked into his office. Had I accidentally let the word slip out, I probably would've just walked downstairs and out of the door. Anyway...

He first asked me why i'm unhappy with the nose & what my ambitions are. I didn't feel the need to show him any of the wish pictures I had saved on my phone as I think it was pretty clear what changes I was after, just through explaining the reasons behind the distaste I have for my current nose. He then asked me to lay back on a 'dentist's chair' whilst he had a poke inside my nose. Grim, yes, I know. Following that he took a few pictures of me from different angles so he could use them for morphs, before we sat back down again at his computer.

He used the images on his computer to morph the nose and show me what he could do with it in order to 'feminize' it a bit. Though, he did explain that because of my huge overbite and dodgy jaw, it would be wiser to get any orthodontic work I might want done first as there are limitations due to the awful teeth I have. Anyway, he created one morph from the front, and one from the side. I have to say it was pretty impressive how he did it in just a few minutes. Call me ignorant, but I thought he'd probably do them whilst I walked around London for a bit & called me back when he was finished. Clearly he's skilled with the mouse as well! The morphs looked impressive. The minor hump towards the top of my nose was removed, giving it more of a 'ski slope' appearance, and the nostrils seemed a lot less open & large as well. As for the bulbous tip, he said I had an advantage of having relatively thin skin, and he was able to reduce the size of that as well. All in all, the morphs looked a lot better than the originals, at least in my opinion. Of course, as this is the first step in a big 'project', you have to take into consideration that this won't fix all of the several issues I have with my face & body, but at least it'll be a start. I'm not really comfortable sharing the morphs on here publicly, but if you're reading this and pretty curious as to how they came out, let me know & i'll send them to you privately.

He then explained to me why he'd do an open rhinoplasty & not a closed one, and that I would be left with a minor scar. He showed me some pictures of the scars from open rhinoplasty. In all honesty, he may as well not even bothered telling me there's a scar. I couldn't even see one. In any of the pictures. He even pointed at the scars. I still couldn't see them. So that didn't bother me one bit. He then went through the details of the surgery; anaesthesia risks, recovery times, etc etc. Just going over the final information, before asking me if I had any questions. I just asked him about revisions, and he told me his patient revision rate; 10-15%, and that a revision with him would only require hospital fees. That put my mind at ease 100%. My biggest fear was needing a revision after this, and having to pay thousands again. The fact i'd only have to pay hospital fees (which admittedly, is still a lot for someone like me.. but in relation to what it could've been, it's a lot less!) was a huge reason I was so glad I chose Dr Ion.

He then finished with me and as I expressed his gratitude, took me into a waiting room where one of his assistants met me. She was really kind. She gave me the printed photos & put some on a CD for me so I can send to you if you'd like to see them, before handing me two pieces of paper with the estimations of the prices. [RS bleep]. [RS bleep] [RS bleep] [RS bleep]. [RS bleep]. Ok, so I knew they were going to be expensive. But.. [RS bleep]. £7,600 or £8,000 depending on whether I had an overnight stay. [RS bleep]. Can I afford these prices? Let's just say my iPhone is probably one of many things getting sold this month. I just started laughing. I explained that I don't think these are unreasonable at all. Believe me, i've done a lot of research, and this guy is the best (or if not then in the top 2) rhinoplasty surgeon in the UK. You get what you pay for, and that's why this isn't an unreasonable fee to ask for. It's just that, for me.. i'm poor. I always have been poor. I grew up poor, i'll grow old poor. Spending £8k on something which isn't 'technically' a necessity seems stupid, from the outside looking in. But she got me. She didn't think I was being rude or offensive. In fact as I told her how long i've been saving for, she said how humbling it is to have people like me come in and have ambitions of surgery, as it clearly means so much. Still, I was honest with her. I will be able to afford this.. just not right now.

So that was that. I left, very pleased with what I got out of the consultation. If you're debating booking one with him (and you think you can afford the prices), definitely go ahead and do it. Everything was as good as it possibly could've been. Dr Ion filled me with as much confidence in his abilities as possible, and the morphs looked really good. I was just at little bit taken back by the price. I was expecting £6,000-£7,000, but, I was probably being a bit naive with that. My fault. Still, as I said; you get what you pay for. The nose is a huge issue for me. I'm not going with anyone other than the best. He is who I want as a surgeon, so i'm not going cheap trusting someone I don't know. I trust him. That's the most important thing.

My next step; see an orthodontist. I'll be hoping to do that sometime in February. I'll find out what surgery I can have done (hopefully, should be on the NHS as it's not cosmetic), and whether it'll conflict with any future rhinoplasty. then email Dr Ion's team to discuss getting a second meeting booked, and see how things have been.

TL;DR - Session was good, morphs were good, Dr Ion was good, price was expensive, need to see an orthodontist first.

Any questions, or if you'd like to see the morphs, let me know. I'll get back to you ASAP!