Breast Implant REDUCTION, LIFT

My stats: 5'5 (165cm), 110-115 (50kg), size 0.
BWD (breast width and diameter): 13
Ribs: 28.5
34DD, 32E

I have always had large breasts and a very tiny body. My sister used to call me a caricature. It was cute then because they were natural and perky. However, they began deflating a bit when I was in grad school, and I immediately looked into getting them "re-filled" b/c, by that point, they were my identity, and deflated was not an option. My nipples were still high, and I just needed a bit of volume. Thus, my surgeon gave me saline 325 filled to 375 (unders), and they went back to looking as they always had. I went on with my life.

Two years later, my right breast implant deflated. I had moved to a different state and had started a very busy job, so I looked in my current town for a good doctor. I chose the "best" (Celebrity/Top Doc, etc.). I was so busy that I just deferred to what he wanted to do, and I did not research any of it. He mentioned going a "bit fuller," and he said that he would go around my nipple to just tuck a bit of skin, and I agreed...

The surgery ended up taking a lot longer than expected, and my doctor acted nervous at the post-op appointment. He explained that there was excessive scar tissue in the non-deflated left breast and he warned me that my skin was VERY THIN. He said I would likely have to get a revision in the future.

Inexplicably, I just nodded and went on with things, without even truly forming an opinion about my new "additions." I hated my job and was in the process of moving, and I just did not want to think about my breasts, so I compartmentalized the entire situation and moved on with my life. I told myself that they were only slightly bigger than my natural size, and I went into denial mode...for five years.

Recently, I got to a point where I could stop and take a breather, and my breasts started to bother me...little by little...I was de-compartmentalizing...

I got engaged, and when I was shopping for my dress, my breasts were an issue. I had to order extra material AND a size 10 dress--just for my breasts! I was a size 0, but my breasts were a size 10...my tailoring bill cost almost as much as the dress itself! It snowballed from there....

Why did my husband's friend's wife give me a dirty look in yoga class and decide she did not want to be around me because I "had fake breasts"...?

Why do I always look so top heavy in photos?

Why do I always feel the need to wear a scarf?

Why do I hate to be without a bra, even in the shower?

Slowly, I began to *let* myself SEE my breasts, and they were awful. My "great" surgeon had screwed up.

I have a dent under my left breast, and my left areola is stretched out, misshapen and huge. My left breast's implant feels pointy and palpable in areas when I massage it. When I lie on my back, my natural breast tissue falls to my sides, while the silicone pokes through the dent.

I wear a bra 24 hours a day. Literally. In the shower. During EVERY ACTIVITY.

I own about 100 scarves, and I never wear dresses b/c what fits me on top would never fit me on bottom, ETC.

Wait. I don't have to live like this. I discussed it with my husband, and to my surprise he revealed that he has always hated my HUGE breasts and has never understood why I went so large. Mr. "I Will Divorce You If You Get Surgery On Your Face" was totally on board with paying $11,000 for a breast augmentation revision!

So I went to my consultation, and Dr. Wolfe helped me realize how long I had been in denial. He could not understand how I have dents (how could he go into the glandular tissue like that?!), but he explained that I have a BWD of 13 and that the reason I have bumps in my implant is because it is shoved into a too small pocket. He encouraged me to order my surgery notes.

This is what I learned:

My former doctor put in 100 cc's more than my first BA! That is almost a full cup size. I have 480cc, wide, flat implants. On my size 0 frame! The diameter is 14.8! I am a 13! Doctors usually recommend staying within .5 cm of your BWD, and not going over. He went over by 1.8 cm!!!!

The doctor also thought my smaller breast (left) was my larger breast, so he overly tightened the pocket (my right breast was deflated, so he forgot that my right breast was the larger one!). The pressure of the implant makes my skin too thin and stretches the areola out, which it did immediately after he sewed me up (I recall seeing black stitches that indicated a gigantic and misshapen areola!). Apparently areola skin is much thinner than breast skin, so areolas stretch under pressure, especially when the implant is far too large for the capsule. The dents are caused by the scar he made to insert the silicone implant puckering a bit and pulling at the thin tissue, and I believe he may have also lipo'd a circular area without my consent, in a misguided attempt to lift my breast with no scar.

Dr. Wolfe will perform a keyhole lift (lollipop-?), and I told him to do what it takes to make my breasts high and tight (anchor incision, if necessary??). I want little to no tissue hanging over my breast fold. I want to err on the side of too small. I want to be able to go bra-less and not feel guilty or like I have to lift my breasts up with my arm. HOW LIBERATING!!!!

I want breasts like Joanna Krupa, Blake Lively, Jennifer Aniston...you know the type--small and firm and no bra necessary!!

I also want to switch from Memory Gel silicone to the more cohesive "gummy bear" kind, and Dr. Wolfe uses Natrelle 410 implants. This presents only one issue, and that is that I can only go so small, based on my BWD.

The Natrelle 410's are anatomical shaped and have three aspects: height, width and projection. This means that I can choose from a Moderate Height, Moderate Projection at 320 grams (not cc's because they are more solid); Full Height, Moderate Projection at 250 grams, and Moderate Height, Full Projection at 335 grams.

This makes me nervous, because how can I go dramatically smaller, lighter, and tighter with only a change of--at the most--55 cc's from my first BA and 160 cc's from my current size? Will the lift do that much reduction? Will the anatomical shape and texture make a difference?

This worries me, and I am obsessing over it.

I discovered that there are a few other options...maybe. It seems there is also a Moderate Height, Low Projection implant at 285...however, I have emailed the doctor several times to ask about it, but I have not heard from him. He also never mentioned it. Thus, I worry that there is some reason why doctors do not like this version of the implant. Sigh.

Anyway, if I have not lost you yet, I would LOVE to hear from all of you!!! If anyone has any experience going through a reduction/aug/lift, like me, I would be interested to hear what you think about your experience and what you would do differently.

I also would LOVE any input on size and on the Natrelle 410 style implant, and if anyone has experience with BWD and/or breast sizes, please do tell!

Has your lift dropped? How many cc's did you have? Anyone with a high and tight lift that lasted? What were your cc's...?

My biggest fear is that I will end up with a smaller version of what I have now, and I don't want that! I want my breasts to sit much higher above my inframammary fold and not drop, but I have no idea how to achieve that and what size implant that requires.

November 9th is coming up, and I am in a bit of a panic! l=0