I Want my Forearm Back! - Eureka, CA

I have a variety of tattoos in all different sizes and locations decorating my body. I've always loved body mods, I got my first tattoo the day after I turned 18 and have been getting new ink every couple of years or so since. I have, for the most part, done my research before jumping in an artist's chair, and as a result I love most of my art. That said, three years ago I made a horrible mistake. I was feeling the itch for a new tattoo, and had a little money to burn. I had been thinking about getting a photo-realistic piece, modeled after a photo from an artist I really admire. I spent about a week going to the local shops and reading online reviews to find the best photo-realistic artist in the county, and came across a guy in the next town over. Retrospectively, I really should have researched the technique of photo-realism, as I would have discovered that it's a highly specialized skill that few artists can actually lock down. Most likely I would have waited until I went to visit my family in the bay area where there are more artists and more competition for the honor of being one of "the best" in the area.
Lesson learned. My tattoo turned out horribly. I was suspicious as I sat in the chair and watched him go over and over the same spots, trying to give definition to what seemed like a strange-looking set of hands and a mish-mash of blobs in the background. I felt like something was wrong about halfway through, and if I had the resolve and courage I do now I would have told him to stop, but I didn't. I bit my lip and put my trust in him, since he was the artist, after all. I reminded myself that tattoos heal lighter than they look initially, and there would probably be better definition once the piece healed.

The next morning I almost cried. I took pictures of my new tattoo to see it from a different point of view, and it didn't help. I let the thing heal and tried really hard to like it. I couldn't admit to anyone, even myself, how much I hated it. It's on the forearm of my dominate hand. It does everything with me. I had never really thought about removal before, and the thought crossed my mind a couple of times, but I assumed it was outrageously expensive and something I wouldn't be able to afford. So I sucked it up and pretended to like it. The idiom "fake it 'till you make it" was stuck in my head. But...I really don't like "faking" anything, and I definitely didn't make it. I hated the thing.

The tattoo in the picture is a cover-up. I thought a lot of my dissatisfaction was due to the amorphous blobs that were supposed to be sticks and leaves in the background, so I went to a different artist who I trusted to do a cover-up on the background. He did what he could, and again I tried to like my tattoo for a while. Other people like what he did, I get compliments every so often on the shading in the new background. I still can't stand it. It's now a lot larger than I ever wanted, and it's a huge dark blob that takes over my forearm.

I've been through an emotional roller coaster with this thing. I've cried a lot of tears and spent many days either in long sleeves or trying not to look at my arm, which is a shame because I have a gorgeous half-sleeve above the blob. I've beaten myself up plenty of times for making such a rash decision about my forearm. I finally admitted to myself that I just flat-out hate the tattoo about eight months ago, and allowed myself to say it out loud to my boyfriend a couple months after that. It was very difficult to do but freeing in a way, because now I can move full-steam ahead toward correcting my mistake, and maybe see my forearm again by the time I'm 30.

This site has helped my confidence in my journey toward removal in a huge way. It's been so valuable reading the experiences of others, knowing I'm not alone in this loathsome place of regret. I've done a ton of research into different laser options and removal centers, and finally settled on Dr. Tanghetti's office in Sacramento because they have the Picosure laser as well as a couple of Q-switched lasers, so I feel like I will receive the best available treatment for my tattoo. I made my consultation for June 1st, and they'll treat me on that day as well if I my tattoo qualifies (they didn't want to make any promises over the phone).

I know this will be a long, expensive, and time-consuming process. I've talked to my tattoo artist (basically the only guy I will get ink from these days) and he says I could do a couple of treatments and he could put something beautiful over the faded tattoo. I'm not so sure I want that though, I'll have to feel it out as this thing fades. Right now, I really just want to see my forearm again.