Short story, 11 days and finally tolerable pain but it comes on worse and less other times. Is this normal after bone graf/impl?

Two weeks to still have soreness isn't necessarily unusual. It would be best to have the surgeon take a look to be sure all is healing well, and that there isn't an infection.

You had a body part removed. That can take 6-8 weeks to fully heal. If you had a toe cut off, you would expect it to still be uncomfortable 2 weeks later. If you don't have any infection, all you can do is control the pain and let it heal. Feel better soon!

As long as the retainer doesn't put any pressure on the grafted area, you should be fine to wear it. For the graft to heal properly, you can't put any pressure on the area for several months.

Thank you for your question. The best way to answer this is with an in-person evaluation along with Radiological Evidence. I recommend following up with your Dentist or consulting a Periodontist. 

The area appears to be healing well. The redness most likely is where the sutures were. That will get better. You have to keep in mind that you had a body part removed. It's not going to be comfortable. Allow 2-4 weeks for complete healing. That being said, if at any point the pain gets worse,...

Your concerns would be infection or dry socket. A dry socket after bone grafting is very rare. I doubt that's what's happening. It is possible some of the bacteria was still in the socket and is causing an infection. Or it could be normal post operative pain. You just had a body part removed. If...