Can you get dry socket with a Bone Graft? How do you detect this?

Detection of a dry socket is pain, but presence of pain does not mean dry socket.  A dry socket is simply a description.  It is when the space previously occupied by a root loses its clot and is an empty space.  A graft prevents this by filling the space with material to induce healing and bone formation while preserving bone volume.  What you are experiencing is likely NOT a dry socket and most likely attributed to the infection, or the graft material is integrating with the bone.  I don't know what you mean by the sealant coming out of the gums (sealants are plastic fillings placed in the grooves of decay prone teeth).  Perhaps a membrane was used to hold the graft material?  If your doctor says everything looks great, then you likely just need to give it all more time to heal.  Pain can sometimes last 2 weeks.

Since the tooth was removed due to an abcess the graft most likely failed. The best thing to do is to treat the possible drysocket and infection. Once your tissue has healed the doctor should re-enter the site and place a new graft.

Worsening pain 3-5 days after an extraction that radiates is classic of "Dry Socket" pain.  It is NOT  common with a bone graft for socket preservation, especially in the upper jaw, although I have seen it rarely.  Any exposed native bone around the extraction socket can cause this pain.  See your surgeon for him to apply some topical medication to relieve the pain.  There are dry socket preparations that will relieve the pain within minutes.  If the pain is not relieved then something else may be occurring, possibly infection