I met with Dr. Allen Rezai at his London Harley Street clinic a few weeks back to discuss a breast augmentation. A week later, I had a follow up appointment (my boyfriend came along also) to try on sizes for a second time, ask any follow up questions and confirm the surgery. I travel a lot so the only time I would have been able to comfortably have the surgery and enough time to heal before jetting off again was at the end of September - luckily he had a clinic date and so I went ahead and booked in.
I've been talking about this procedure for 10 years - finally I've bitten the bullet and just gone for it with a surgeon I hear many great things about. He's renowned for natural looking results, so I'm very excited.
I was told I couldn't really go bigger than 255cc, due to my breasts being so small to begin with. There's essentially next to no fat there. He said that should I want to go bigger in future this could be an option a few years down the line, but at the moment he wouldn't put anything larger than 255cc in. I trust his opinion and even though that sounds dramatically smaller than I had imagined, in the end it's all about how the size fits my frame and it's bound to look better than my 'no breasts' situation right now, ha! Plus, safety above all else.
My surgery is in just a few days so I'm trying to sort out all household chores, pick up any last minute things I will want after returning home from hospital and just take care of myself so that I'm as fit and healthy as possible in preparation. Here goes!
Updated on 26 Sep 2018:
Feeling pretty calm and prepared, just need to finish packing my overnight bag. I'll be admitted at 8.30 am - honestly the bits I'm most anxious about at the moment are not being able to eat or drink a thing after midnight tonight (I get reflux, especially if my stomach is too empty) and the potential nausea after waking up. I'm a bit of an emetophobe so reaaaaally don't want to throw up haha.
Also, I think I already have boob greed. I know my surgeon literally won't put anything larger than 255cc in due to my small starting size, I just worry that they will still look very small after all this time wanting breasts (and after all that money!). I'm sure they'll look 1000x better than they do now, so I just have to remember that. Natural is better than too large anyway.
So I'm telling myself over and over, haha.
Updated on 26 Sep 2018:
I'm leaving the flat in 15 minutes. Nil by mouth since 11.40pm last night. Feeling fine - showered last night very thoroughly. Haven't applied a single bit of lotion, face cream, makeup, etc. as instructed. All piercings removed, overnight bag packed.
Off I go!
P.S. Here are some 'before' photos (final ones!). I've never taken a topless selfie before - feels weird. Sorry about the odd angles but as you can see - not much breast tissue there to start with. Also, the asymmetry - I forgot to mention it above but I have one breast that is extremely underdeveloped ((I can't remember the term Dr. Rezai used), but basically it's SO underdeveloped that he is going to have to create the breast fold so that it matches the left side breast when implants are placed. I'll try to remember the term (or just ask him in an hour or so).
Okay seriously, leaving the flat now. Wish me luck!
Updated on 5 Oct 2018:
Okay, I disappeared for a week after surgery, I know! It was as my surgeon had warned me - he said I would likely be in more pain than the usual patient due to my strong, tight chest muscles and having next to no breast tissue to begin with. The pain the first few days was the worst I've ever been through. Before surgery, I'd researched extensively (pretty sure I read just about every potential review on the internet from women with flat chests who had gone to a similar size behind the muscle). I read a lot of women describing the pain as the most intense chest workout of their lives. Psh, easy, I thought to myself. I work out and lift (with heavy weights) all the time and I know that pain, I have no problem with it.
Turns out it was nothing like that, for me at least!
I woke up after surgery feeling very groggy and obviously on a lot of meds already. Still I felt an extreme heaviness and soreness in my chest and vaguely remember a nurse giving me some morphine orally through a dropper (and me being half asleep dribbling everywhere haha). I slept on and off for the next 3 hours in my recovery room. I ate a spot of lunch and the pain felt unpleasant but manageable - I was given more pain meds.
My bf came to see me straight after work (it was a Thursday) and stayed with me until around 9.30pm when I told him he should head home and I would be fine.
I slept a little, from around 12.30am until 5.30am. I then had my breakfast, more pain meds and watched TV for a while. I was starting to have some serious pain in my left breast - the muscle was spasming uncontrollably and in turn it was making my back seize up. I felt unable to do anything but hold my breast and hunch my shoulders over. A different surgeon came to see me along with a nurse - the surgeon said he wouldn't let me leave the hospital like this and prescribed me a bunch of muscle relaxants in addition to the co-codomol and antibiotics I'd already been given to take home with me.
My boyfriend came shortly after at about 9.30am to see me. I was in a lot of pain and tears were silently spilling down my face - what a sight haha. I'm sure he was feeling a lot of trepidation at the idea that I was now in his hands!
To be honest, the next 3 days passed in quite a blur. There was a lot of pain, the worst of which was this searing, burning nerve pain in my left breast that felt like my nerves were on FIRE when I made certain movements. Getting up off the sofa to pee was something I came to dread and I needed my bf's help every time. Potential TMI - I couldn't even bend over or extend my arms enough to pull my pants up or down and needed him to help each time (lol).
Another issue was the compression band I was recommended to wear for the first week. I was allowed about an hour a day with it off (and honestly, what a relief that hour a day was). The band was SO tight and my swelling was bad, so I truly felt like it was causing even more pain than the breasts/muscles themselves. It dug in so badly around my armpits and my back (I do have very broad shoulders, so this probably didn't help). I even developed folliculitis in my armpits, probably due to the fact that my clothing was very tight, I was sweating a little bit when I wasn't feeling well, and due to not being able to lift my arms away from my sides I was unable to properly wash as I normally would. Not fun. Also pretty gross when you think about it.
By Sunday evening I was starting to worry about how I was going to cope on Monday, considering my boyfriend had to go back to work and I'd be home alone. I was still in a lot of pain (not to mention extremely constipated at this stage from all the meds). I looked 6 months pregnant, it was insane how bloated my stomach was.
Thankfully I managed okay on Monday, though getting myself up was still difficult, as was doing anything really other than sitting down. Because my muscles were SO tight and tensed up, my back started to ache an inordinate amount if I stood up for longer than 2 minutes or so. I felt exhausted and slept on and off all day again. I had no motivation to do anything, not even open my laptop.
I started to feel very nauseated from the medication. I had come off the muscle relaxants already in the hopes this would help with the constipation and nausea, and by Tuesday I was off the co-codomol too (so 5 days after surgery) and only using paracetamol. I hoped this would help but the nausea became SO bad that I ended up barely eating anything for the 6 days after surgery. I attribute this to the antibiotics, which the nurse I spoke to on the phone said I could stop after Tuesday evening as I would have taken enough to complete a short course. This was music to my ears. The nausea was reallyyyy bad (first of all, I'm an emetophobe and terrified of being sick and secondly, it's so debilitating, you just feel unable to move, eat, drink, etc.). Plain Jacobs cream crackers, occasional fruit, frozen pineapple chunks (these were amazing!!!) and water was about all I could tolerate. I didn't have enough proper meals, which is terrible, because your body obviously needs protein and vitamins to recover.
By Wednesday evening I started to feel more human again. I finally could see that the other side was in sight. My friend came over in the afternoon to spend a little time with me and I started eating a little then. I had soup and a slice of bread for lunch.
On Thursday (yesterday) I had my one week post op appointment with Mr. Rezai. He laughed at my hunched over form and saw that I was tenderly cupping my breasts with my arms protectively. "You don't need to worry, they're not going anywhere now!" He told me to start resuming light activities around the flat again, to make my own food and teas, etc. and that I was fine. He said everything looked amazing - my breasts were dropped enough that I didn't have to use the compression band any more (THANK **** for that, because that compression band made me feel AWFUL. Reflux, tightness and my muscles would just tighten up 10x more when it was on than when I was able to just sit in my Macom bra without it on). He took the bandages off my incisions and said they were healing amazingly. He applied some Micropore tape and told me I had the green light to shower again (finally) and that the tape had to be changed every other day. That was it! I was sent off home. I attempted to go to M&S to find a comfier post op bra but had no luck and was so exhausted standing up for so long that I had to sit down in the changing room for 10 minutes haha). I Uber-ed home. I finally had somewhat of an appetite back so...cheekily...ordered Shake Shack with Deliveroo. Since I'd barely been eating, I ate 3/4 of my burger and half my fries and was ridiculously full. Still, it was delicious and it felt great to be eating again!
Today is Friday, 8 days post op, and I finally feel semi-human. I can walk around and move my arms pretty freely, though I still can't really reach too high up. Morning boob is no fun at all, your chest feels unbelievably heavy and tight, but it does go away fairly quickly after getting up and moving about gently.
Sleeping is still not fantastic, I wake up at about 4 - 5am every morning feeling uncomfortable, needing to pee and sometimes with slight nausea, though it's not too terrible. I can't WAIT until morning boob goes away, though I hear this can take anywhere from around 2 weeks to even 7 or 8!
So there we have it. Sorry, that ended up being incredibly long! I'll update again in a minute with some progress photos :)
Updated on 6 Oct 2018:
I'm hunching because I couldn't bear to stand straight, my muscles were spasming like CRAZY and it was so painful! Also I still had terrible nerve pain so I'm kind of doubling over in pain here haha. They actually look pretty small in this photo - for some reason I already feel like they look a little bigger now, maybe because they're already settling into a more natural looking position).
Updated on 6 Oct 2018:
Just 2 days after the last photo and I can finally stand up semi-straight (ha). By this stage I had come off most meds except for the antibiotics. Still on paracetamol. Couldn't really move my arms yet so my bra stayed on.
Btw, having NO luck with a decent fitted bra that is soft, comfortable, supportive and doesn't dig into the armpits. I've tried M&S and Macom, not a huge fan of either. Any other suggestions?? Might take a look in TK Maxx this weekend.
Updated on 6 Oct 2018:
The first pic is 5 days post op. Trying this again because I have no idea why the photo didn't upload the first time. I'm also going to attach my 9 days post op pic (today). I feel so much better in terms of being able to do things for myself - I can finally stand up for a reasonable amount of time without my back aching like mad, the muscle tightness is still there but far milder. I've stopped taking Paracetamol throughout the day and I only take one in the morning, and one or two before bed, depending on how tight I feel. I can finally move my arms more freely, though I'm trying to take it slow and I'm not raising them too high nor moving them tooooo much.
My left side is far tighter than my right, perhaps because I'm left-handed. So far throughout recovery it's always been the left side that feels tighter/has suffered more pain. I'm still a bit bloated.
Morning boob still sucks.
Updated on 17 Oct 2018:
Hello! An update at (almost) 3 weeks here.
Pros:
- Pain lessens every day - really I haven't felt pain during the day for a week and a half or so now, though I do still have muscle tightness (mostly left breast) and discomfort. This is also lessening daily.
- My range of arm motion is much better, though I try not to lift my arms too high for now.
- My incisions have had no issues so far and look to be healing very well.
- My breasts look better and better! They even look a bit bigger than immediately post-surgery, funnily enough. I think this is because they have settled into their position fairly quickly and the swelling all around them has gone down.
Cons:
- Morning boob. I hate morning boob! Haha. It's hard to describe - it is painful but not in an intolerable way. It feels like something very heavy is sitting on your chest when you wake up. Almost leaves me feeling like I haven't been breathing properly in my sleep. It goes away fairly quickly after getting up and out of bed - within a minute or so, if not less. This also seems to (hopefully) be getting better.
- Sensitivity. Arghhhh my nipples! They were sensitive before surgery, so it's not a very pleasant sensation now considering they've gotten even MORE sensitive. Especially my left breast - it's not just the nipple that's sensitive there, it's the skin just around the nipple too. Even my sports bra against my breast feels unbearable at times.
- I'm fine to go out and walk around, however I do still get a little tired after a certain amount of walking. It's quite frustrating.
- It's also frustrating remembering not to lift anything too heavy, do the housework too vigorously (lol), etc. Pulling the heavy doors in my apartment building is quite a nuisance and something I wish I could avoid, but I can't really loiter around hoping someone passes by to open them for me...
- Other than that, things are getting better by the day, I feel more 'normal' as the days go on, my incisions appear to be healing well (changing the tape every 2 days).
The first time I had to change the tape my hands were shaking and I felt a little light-headed at the thought that I had to peel the tape directly off my 'wounds' haha, but now it doesn't bother me at all.
Anyway, I'll upload some pics taken last night. My breasts look extra 'fake' and round in them because of the shadow that my top was casting over them (couldn't be bothered to take it completely off).
Updated on 1 Dec 2018:
Oops, sorry it's been a while. We went to Australia recently - I was slightly anxious about travelling 6 weeks after surgery, hoping I wouldn't have to lift bags that were too heavy, do anything toooo strenuous, etc. It all was absolutely fine! I love my boobs so far.
They're still a little firm and don't push too closely together yet (though they definitely do move more than a month ago), but I'm not worried about that at only 2 months post op. Besides, they're covered up during winter anyway and I'm still in sports bras! Can't wait to start shopping for push up bras/regular lacy bras.
I keep getting random glimpses of myself in the mirror at home, with just a PJ top on or before a shower, forgetting I have new boobs and being pleasantly surprised, haha. There's no pain or discomfort anymore, just sliiiiight twinges in my left breast on occasion, and if I strain too much (e.g. do a big workout) they might feel a little sore but nothing bad. I'm using bio oil daily. My scars look amazing, not very noticeable even at this stage.
Basically the gist of it is - I love my breasts. I'm still so paranoid about doing anything to strain them or 'ruin' them, so when I tried some upper body exercises the other day at the gym it felt too weird and I stopped. Think I'll wait until the 3 month mark to focus on upper body again, and with verrryyyy compressed/supportive sports bras.