Wow. What a crazy, strange, sad day. But let me start at the beginning. I have been considering this procedure for almost a year. I had really severe sinus troubles that led me to surgery on my sinuses and a septoplasty. I had that surgery in February. Leading up to it I was strongly considering having a rhinoplasty at the same time. I had two consultations but was talked out of it by my husband, and the doc I really wanted to perform the sinus portion convinced me that my entire claim might be denied if I had a cosmetic part done. At the time it was really a medical necessity so despite really wanting to correct my nose's look - I went through with just the internal part. Afterwards I could breathe great and felt healthy, but I immediately regretted not doing the rhinoplasty. I really fixated on it until I decided it was something I HAD to do.
All my life I have been aware of my nose. My Dad has really big nostrils and constantly pointed out that I had his nose, which I hated. Of course I heard it from other kids all through school, and even my best friend and brother have made comments that really stuck with me. For a while I didn't think of it but once I was pregnant my nose really swelled up and I didn't want any pics taken of me, even holding my beautiful newborn daughter. I have noticed I am very conscious of it when smiling, since that is when it is widest, so I find myself not wanting to smile or laugh fully - which c'mon, how can I live life to the fullest if I can't smile wide and feel great?!
At the same time in some ways maybe my nose is not THAT bad. I do feel attractive and grateful for what I have. That is why its been a terribly hard decision. The work I want done is so subtle - very slight narrowing of alar base and tip, and maybe a very slight shave of bump on bridge. I have definitely been worried about it being too much, not looking like myself, taking away character etc. From the start it was so stressful to consider elective surgery and going under anesthesia, which makes me really sick, when I do have a beautiful life.
So despite my MAJOR hesitations about plastic surgery, my total shame in not wanting to be judged, I started researching surgeons. I live in a beautiful place but with limited options so I decided on Dr. Mobley in Salt Lake City, UT. He was recommended by the doc who did my sinus surgery and despite it being a 6 hour drive it seemed like he was the best choice. We had two or three phone consultations, several emails with pictures, and decided to arrange my consult for today August 13th, and the Surgery tomorrow, August 14th.
This was MONTHS ago. I have spent the summer preparing. Despite our desire to have another baby we have postponed that until after the surgery, which we hoped to do earlier, but couldn't get in until August. My husband had to take time off to care for our now almost 3 year old daughter, since I stay home with her full time. I have ridden a roller coaster of emotions, had major anxieties, got over them, and have been in the mode of full on preparation (no drinking, eating super healthy, taking supplements etc). I have rearranged schedules, booked hotel rooms, planned activites for my husband and daughter to do while I am recovering. All of our bags were packed to leave at 6 a.m. today.
Then yesterday, I was getting a massage in the late afternoon to relax for the events ahead, and I received a phone call just as I was about to lie down. It was the surgeon's scheduler saying that the surgeon was really sick and there was a 50/50 chance he could do my surgery Weds. All sorts of thoughts ran through my mind. How would I know if I should leave? I didn't exactly want to drag my family to SLC if I didn't need to. And then of course the reality that NO - I cannot reschedule!! This is the time we have prepared for, and even next week my husband would have to get back to work, I do not have family close to help me, nor am I telling them about all this etc.
At that point the scheduler agreed to call me first thing in the morning with a report of how the Dr. was doing. Well of course last night was extremely nerve-wracking. My bags were packed, but I had no idea if we were going or what would happen. So this morning he calls and says the Dr. is still sick and will not be able to do any surgeries this week at all. Do I mention that there was no apology, no offering of other options? Insane. I understand being sick may be beyond the surgeons control, but they handled it in a way that I felt extremely unimportant! So I asked if there was anything next week could possibly work, and we would make it work on my end. At this point I could not, still can not imagine backing out completely. He said he would get back to me within the hour. Three hours later, he called with the news, he has nothing until August 26th, the day must husband returns to grad school. Again no apology, just an "alrighty, I'll refund your money".
Now I don't know how to move forward. Clearly I've decided this is important to me. But I feel like my hands are tied. I really cannot reschedule, find another doc, take more time off, postpone having another baby when that is something I wanted to do a year ago etc.
If anyone has any suggestions for how not to think about my nose please let me know. I am a healthy, proactive person and despite my dissapointment I know I am strong and will be ok. Am just in a state of disbelief now.
Thanks for listening to this long story.
I am reluctant to post photos because I'd really like to be anonymous but I think its a key part of the story so here goes!