20 Year Old with Tuberous Breasts, Long Island, NY

My breasts have looked the same since I was 13 years old. I always convinced myself that I was just a late bloomer, and that one day I would basically wake up and move beyond the "buds" I had, but at the age of 18 I googled "weird breasts" and saw so many pictures that looked exactly like me. I was not underdeveloped, but had tuberous breasts-- a congenital deformity causing abnormal breast shape. I had basically convinced myself for many years that my appearance was temporary and to realize they weren't changing was devastating. It took me a while to even tell anyone else, and after many years and consultations and roadblocks, I am so ready to get them done and be the person I want to be! I am not interested in size, much more with shape. Looking to fill the tissue underneath and have breasts that look like -imagine this- breasts! I am so excited to have the breasts I was supposed to have and start living my life confidently, not having to worry about wearing a padded bra and avoiding anything that might show my lack of cleavage. I hope reading about my journey can help someone else out there!

Starting to get a little nervous, but I'm still overwhelmingly happy that I am finally getting to do this. 2 weeks until my pre-op day! Some things that I'm concerned about:
- I told my therapist that I booked my surgery and she was hesitant that it was the right time. I have a history of anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder so it's natural that she is nervous that this is classic me being unhappy about my body. I view it separately, however...the way my breasts formed is a deformity. There is nothing that I did, or can do, to change that. My weight and the rest of my body is in an entirely different category to me. But still, it's concerning that there's someone that already doubts my decision.
-I really don't want to look any different on the outside after my surgery. Almost no one knows that I have this issue or that I am planning on getting surgery, and I would like it to stay that way. I am a college student and my worst nightmare is returning from winter break to have people suspect and question me about getting a "boob job." Right now I wear a size B push-up bra from Victoria's Secret that is padded enough so no one is any the wiser. My goal is to be able to wear an unpadded B bra afterwards --that way no one will know, at least not until I'm ready.
-I'm hearing a lot of different viewpoints about the pain after surgery. I have a month off from school so I could hypothetically just watch netflix in bed that entire time, but that's not ideal. I've already decided against using any painkillers stronger than advil--I just don't think it's a good idea for me. I'm relatively tolerant of pain, but then again, I've never been in what would be considered legitimate pain before either. I guess we'll see.

I asked my best friend to come stay with me the day after my surgery so that I don't freak out too much. I have to remember to remind myself that they won't look pretty until months after surgery and that I can't judge it right away. She's good at keeping me in my place, so I think it's a solid plan to have her around.

I've attached the Crisalix imaging that we did at my consult, because to me it makes it so real and exciting, and really helps to visualize the potential results! Hope all my realself friends are hanging in there, until next time! xo

So weird to think that something I waited to happen for such a long time is actually going to happen. I used to resent the fact that I had to "ask" for breasts--that everyone else was lucky enough to just go about their daily awkward teenage life and everything proceeded as normal. I felt cheated, like I didn't receive such an important part of being a woman. There is one memory that I have that has stuck with me: When I was probably about 9 or 10, I was volunteering at an senior living facility with my girl scout troop. I don't remember the details, but one of the older women was talking to my friend and said, "You'll have boobs one day too. One day you'll wake up and they'll just be there and you won't even know what happened!" I guess this really shaped my idea of how it was supposed to happen and led to me waiting foolishly to one day wake up with the breasts I wanted. I was originally upset by the idea of surgery; I didn't want to choose what I wanted, how big I wanted, etc....I wanted to just wake up and have the breasts I was "supposed" to have. I've moved past that now, and I am thankful that there are amazing doctors out there like Dr. Pfeifer that can help me achieve what my body didn't. It feels so strange that my body will be so different in just a month's time. Funny that the distorted view I had will become true--in one month I will wake up and they will just be there, and I won't even know what happened!!

On another note, I am now having nightmares about my surgery almost every night. My anxious brain is coming up with everything possible that could go wrong, as well as weird, twisted, and otherwise. From reading many other reviews and blogs I know that this is normal, but it is still quite disturbing (and sometimes comical-- last night I dreamt that I woke up and they had performed a mastectomy by accident, just clear chopped everything off lol. yikes.) I can only imagine this will continue for the next month as well, my subconscious is going to have to get really creative haha.

I've attached the "wish boob" pictures I sent my PS. Emphasis on shape-- roundness is my #1! Talk to you all soon! xo