30 Year Old, Ready for Rhinoplasty - Pittsburgh, PA

I'm turning 30 this year, recently moved to Pittsburgh and getting married in 2015 to a wonderful guy who thinks I'm beautiful just the way I am. No one knows I'm considering rhinoplasty though I've been self-conscious of my nose since I was a teenager. As a child, I was clumsy, constantly falling and bumping my nose into things. In elementary school, a basketball flew into my face and I think broke my nose though no one took me to the hospital to get it checked out. As I got older, it grew more and more crooked. Fortunately I was spared the relentless teasing a lot of other people experience. I only had to field the occasional comment about whether my nose had been broken or would I ever consider plastic surgery. I guess I've been lucky that people have been generally tactful, however despite what other people's perceptions are, I'm constantly aware of my prominent nose. I'm nervous in job interviews and when meeting new people. My confidence is suffering more and more because of it. I have a bump, deviated septum so my nose curves to the side, and a large bulbous tip. Overall, my nose is too big for my face. As a yoga practitioner, I'm very aware that I don't breathe equally through both of my nostrils and I know I breathe loudly at night. I have chronic allergic rhinitis, congestion and sinus headaches which I'm hoping this surgery can alleviate.

I have done a lot of research and scheduled 3 upcoming consultations with well-qualified surgeons in Pittsburgh. I'm nervous about telling my family and my fiance that I'm planning to do this this year. It sounds silly, but I've always been known as the one in my family who doesn't care much about appearances, not into fashion or make-up- I'm the hippy, nature-loving, yoga-practicing vegetarian of the family. I used to think plastic surgery was a shallow or insecure thing to do- now after finding the RealSelf community, I've come to realize that that's completely wrong, plastic surgery is for people just like me. It's not about being superficial, but correcting something that isn't how it's supposed to be which can change your life in so many positive and beneficial ways. I realize how silly it sounds that I was afraid that taking this step would ruin my 'image' of being 'someone who doesn't care about images'. This is not the nose nature intended and there's nothing wrong with taking steps to correct it.

Everyone has the right to feel confident and beautiful, especially on their wedding day. Now is the right time for me. I'm in a transition period as I approach my wedding and my 30s, I'm ready for a change and I'm hoping a new nose will help me go forward in my career and have the confidence to make new friends.

Of course I have plenty of reservations - what if things go wrong? What if the outcome is worse than the nose I have now? What if I permanently lose my smile that most people say is my best feature? Is this is an insane amount of money to spend on myself when I'm of very limited resources, my car is ancient and falling apart, and I have a wedding to pay for? I can scrape together the money for an initial septo-rhinoplasty, but a revision rhinoplasty would be beyond my means.

Despite these concerns, I'm eagerly awaiting my consultations and I know in my heart this is something I want and need and those close to me will understand once I break the news!

Nothing much new to report except I did tell my fiance this week that I was considering having this done. It went about as well as I expected, he told me there was NO WAY I was going to change my nose because he loves my nose just the way it is and there is nothing wrong with it. He never even noticed it was crooked! Could it be that all this time he's known me, especially the TWO years we've lived together where he's surely seen my nose from every possible angle, that he never noticed anything was off about it? I'm sure I scrutinize my schnoz more than anyone around me, but it's an objective fact that my nose deviates to the side and it's glaringly obvious when talking to me or seeing me in photos. Then again, love is blind and he did put a ring on my finger with this nose on my face so presumably he was willing to take the whole package on an as-is basis.

He said that I can't change it because it's MY nose. I have a hard time understanding this logic because any nose that I would have in the future would still be MY nose, I'm not going to all of a sudden have someone else's nose, just an improved version of my own nose. Also, the nose I have now is probably not the nose I would have had had it not experienced all that trauma in my youth. If nothing had ever interfered with it, I would likely have inherited my dad's nose - large, but straight.

I am not deterred because I know he will come around, he's open-minded and supportive, it will just take him a little while to get used to the idea. Next time I bring it up I will be armed with computer generated images of my potentially new nose!

I had my first consult today with Dr. Leong and he is as wonderful as all the reviews say. We had a huge snowstorm hit this morning, so getting to the appointment was extremely stressful, none of the roads were plowed and I barely made it out of my street, but I got there right on time at 8:15. Because of the weather, he was running a bit behind and I had to wait about a half hour to see him, but it was well worth it since he spent a good hour and a half with me. He made me feel very comfortable and he was extremely thorough, went into great detail about the anatomy of the nose and different techniques and options for rhinoplasty. He took a lot of pictures, which was probably the most nerve-wracking part since those are the angles those of us with bad noses AVOID like the plague, but it was a necessary evil. He also did a thorough exam of the interior of my nose. The initial consult was a $100 charge and all follow ups after that, prior to the surgery, are free. So I scheduled a follow up for a month from now which gives me plenty of time to mull things over. At that appointment, he will go into more detail about the surgery and the specific refinements he will make to my nose since I have a couple of options there. At that point he will also print out my pictures and show me what the potential results could look like. I'm really happy with his before/after pictures as his results are very natural and never look 'done'.

Also found out that my septum is not that deviated and isn't really causing most of the crookedness to my nose. That was pretty surprising and also means this is more of a cosmetic than functional rhinoplasty and therefore pursuing the insurance angle might not be a worthwhile option. The cost of the surgery is more than the budget I originally set, so for this to be feasible, I will need to finance it, probably for 12-24 months. I plan on applying for the Care Credit card once I've made my final decision.

My fiance is being really supportive. The only thing he's hesitant about (and with good reason) is the cost, since we have our wedding to pay for. He asked me if I just wanted to wait until after the wedding for the surgery but I told him there is just no way this nose will be joining us in matrimony. His reply, which was perfect: "It can be your something new!" Yep, he's pretty much the best fiance ever.

I still have my consults with the other two surgeons coming up in the next couple weeks, so until then I will do my best to not spend every waking moment obsessing about this. :)

I had my consult with Dr. Gillman Monday. I had decided to take the whole day off work and glad I did since it was about an hour wait, which he profusely apologized for. But that's pretty par for the course with any doctor's office these days. He's a practicing ENT physician so he's not just seeing patients for rhinoplasty all day. I was a little nervous that he was going to be somewhat brusque or wasn't going to have a warm bedside manner since I'd read a review online from an angry mother who said that he made her daughter cry and was not the surgeon for cleft palate surgery. Whoa! Fortunately, I did not find that to be the case at my consult. He was very kind and made me feel at ease, but he also knows his stuff since he's being doing noses for decades. I really liked all of his before/after photos; the results were natural and elegant, he really achieves harmony with the rest of a person's features. He's been consistently voted one of the top physicians in the country and one of the best for women.

He mentioned doing some kind of cartilage grafting in my nose to create more balance. I'd never really considered anything like that before since I was mainly focused on reduction, not adding to or repositioning the cartilage in my nose. But since this was a first consult, he didn't go into great detail about how that would work. He took photos and said he would do some imaging on them and call me back in a few days. Haven't heard from him since but I hope he'll call me this week to set up our 2nd meeting.

I canceled the first consult with Dr. Chiu. A few reasons - I read the negative review on here from someone who had a rhinoplasty with him, wasn't happy with the results and said he was unwilling to perform revision or listen to her concerns. It's a bad sign for me, I want a doctor who is willing to make me happy no matter what, especially since surgery with him is on the high end - $10,000+ and the initial consult is $150. Also I got a bad vibe from his office manager, there is only one girl working in the office who manages everything - taking calls, responding to inquiries, coordination, etc. I found her to be unprofessional, disorganized and unresponsive. She took 3 weeks to respond to an email, and I had to email twice to get answer, which doesn't bode well in case I were to have surgery with them and needed a response quickly. She also confused me with another patient and accidentally called and left me a voicemail which was not intended for me, then explained she gets so many inquiries every day it's hard to keep them all straight. I just wasn't getting a good feeling and I think it's important to trust your gut.

So I know I'm rambling a lot but I've been doing so much reflecting this week. It's strange to finally be "out" with my big secret (even though I haven't told the fam yet). This insecurity that I've been hiding from the world for so long, I'm now openly calling attention to, I'm letting doctors touch and closely examine my nose, I'm not hiding behind my hair and pretending my nose isn't an issue. It's very strange - I feel exposed! I also want to make sure I'm doing this for the absolute right reasons. There have been periods of my life where I haven't obsessed about my nose (for instance when I was backpacking across Europe I wasn't thinking twice about it). Since moving to Pittsburgh, I've been isolated, I have this demoralizing, dead-end job and no friends despite my best efforts to make them, I am now wondering if my nose has become a scapegoat for all my problems! But when I start asking myself these questions, the truth is this issue is going to persist the rest of my life until I get it fixed and I'm not looking for surgery to give me self-esteem. I think some people do fall into that trap with plastic surgery. Ultimately a sense of self-worth comes from within! but it's just going to give me that extra boost I need. :) So bottom line, I think I would want this regardless of other circumstances in my life.

If I'm not 100 percent sure after the second consults in March, I'm either going to expand the search to Cleveland and Philadelphia, or put the whole thing on the backburner.

This week I had my second consultations with both Dr. Gillman and Dr. Leong. Both are fabulous doctors and I have no doubt that either one would have been a great choice, but after a lot of deliberation I scheduled my surgery with Dr. Gillman. So now I have about 100 days to prepare myself for surgery. Will post again as the date approaches!

So it's been a month since I made my decision and booked surgery. This month has flown by so I'm hoping the next 2 will do the same. I'm telling my family in person next week when I go back home for a visit. Keep in mind I've kept this a secret for about 15 years so I'm anxiously awaiting their reactions! I'm sure they knew I was self-conscious of my nose but never wanted to say anything to make me feel bad since I could never afford to do anything about it, so I imagine when I tell them, they will respond with variations of "It's about time! we always thought you needed a nose job!"

Will post more pics of my hideous nose soon so we can all bid it a fond farewell. ;)