I'm Done Being Big - Oklahoma City, OK

When I was 20 after having my first baby I was...

When I was 20 after having my first baby I was very saggy and unhappy with my breasts. I was a flat saggy 34B barely. I decided to get breast implants to improve my self image. Boy was I wrong. The first doctor I went to suggested I go in through the nipple and get 450s overfilled to help with sag. Um HELLO huge boobs. I can't even remember how big I was but lets just say the hopes for a nice C cup were gone plus I had this horrible double bubble on my left side so I couldn't even wear swim suits. I was about to get married and HATED my xlarge boobs so I went to another doctor (couldn't stand my cocky 1st doctor) 6 months later to get a redo. I begged for a lift but he wouldn't do it saying that I was too young. He suggested 380s overfilled high profile and internal stitch for double bubble. I was sooo excited.... Until I woke up from surgery with still xlarge implants, double bubble and 5,000 less cash. 8 years large, 3 more kids breastfed and I'm a very very unhappy 34F. Double bubble is still there so no luck with the swim wear. I can't find a comfortable bra to save my life. I hate wearing tight clothes. I have neck and shoulder problems and headaches...oh the headaches. I am currently breastfeeding my last baby and I'm at the uncomfortable can't wait any longer stage. I am looking for a doctor to deflate them while I'm nursing until I can get them removed. Long term I either want just a removal and lift or implant exchange (much much much smaller) and lift.

I'm very scared about implant deflation because I have heard of people feeling the sharp edges and being in pain. I plan to nurse at least until January of 2015 but I can't image waiting that long with these huge bags in my chest.
My husband and I measured out 800CC of water and he couldn't believe how heavy it was. Thank You but yet he is still wishy washy about me getting anything done. What guy doesn't like huge boobs? I want to feel attractive to him but this is becoming more about daily comfort and less about how I look to him or anyone else. I'm also afraid of the comments I'll get from people because no one here in my new town knows I have implants.

Today is the start of something new

So today I am getting my implants (9 years old) deflated. I will wait 12 weeks and then get a lift/implant replacement. I am going MUUUUUCH smaller and getting silicone. I'm so nervous about what my boobs will look like after having implants in for 9 years and breastfeeding 4 babies. I know it is just temporary but I'm shaking just thinking about it. I was never comfortable with my small shaggy boobie but I was also never comfortable with my HUGE implants. I'm hoping that I can find a nice middle ground here in the near future. I will post pictures after deflation

They are small!!!

The deflation was easy. I wish I would have done it sooner. Even though I have a lot of fluffing to do I am already loving my small boobs! The procedure was easy and I didn't even need any numbing medication. The doc inserted needle attached to suction and with in minutes they drained 400cc from each implant. The only concern I have is how I'm going to hide this for 3 months. Thank goodness it's cold here so I can wear a jacket. You can't go from dd or DDD to A without someone noticing. I had purchased some bra inserts but they only get me to a B. I guess I thought I would be bigger naturally. I think I'm actually smaller. Any way I'm posting pics just have mercy because again fluffing needs to happen. Lift and replacement (much smaller implants) scheduled for April 2nd!!!
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