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Ruined my Life: Please help Me: I Can't Stop Crying - New York

I had it done a year ago when I was 17, my nose...

I had it done a year ago when I was 17, my nose wasn't terrible but it had a small bump and drooped down, bumpy And a tad big, but I didn't know how good I had it. In fact I was housebound and hated it so much that I never went out and even was homeschooled. I was bullied for being ugly but the bullies were never specific so I decided it must be my nose cuz I could find anything else that horrific about me. My parents told me I didn't need it and they couldn't afford it but I begged so much and cried that they finally let me to stop my misery.

So I did a lot of research, and picked the doctor that I liked the before and afters most, it was subtle and you would never be able to tell the person got something done but they looked great! so I got it done, and while the cast was on I was the happiest person, It looked perfect, exactly the way I wanted it even woth the cast on. I had never been so happy in my young life, I started looking up new clothes to wear online, and planning my life. Then the cast came off, the profile was good but it was freaking HUGE. This made me go into a depression and I even got suicidal and went to psych wards.

Finally the swelling went down and I started to like it, but the more the swelling went down, the more I noticed something even worse. Major Assymetry. My bridge is pretty straight except on the right side there is a tiny little bump like the size of a crumb but it doesn't bother me that much. What does bother me is the tip. Holy god! The right side looks like its dented because too much was taken off, so the cartilage sticks out at the tip too and when I feel the side of the tip it feels flat as a board....not normal. And the left side is fuller and rounder but I kinda like that side, if only the right side matched the left I'd be so happy!

I'm already settling, why cant my nose at least be symmetrical! It bothers me so much that I cry and sob all day every day, I've even went as far to write suicide notes to all my family (I have no friends) I see my dr in 2 weeks, I don't know what he will say! I must know I will begin sobbing uncontrollably in front of him! What if he thinks I'm nuts and makes me leave! I don't think I can contain my tears! My family is not rich by any means, we are your average middle class family who is actually having some financial difficulty, we can't afford a revision if we have to pay! Someone PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me! What should I do? How should I react at the apt? All of what I said was true, I never knew what regret really felt like until now. I can't even go outside in the sun or listen to music without feeling I don't deserve to because I ruined myself.(also it costed so much cuz I also got breathing fixed but I still can't breath out of my left side, I mean what the hell, my left side is great on the outside but not the inside and reverse for the right side, I don't deserve this!)

Name not provided

Horrible regret, someone help me please!

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Comments (7)

I went through the same thing when my surgeon ruined my face. All of us who have had botched nose jobs have gone through this. I hope your nose is fixed now and looks amazing! It's been 2 years since you posted this, but I hope it all worked out for the best.
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Please be strong...don't do anything rash. Talking to a professional while you are going through this is a really good idea. There are a lot of doctors out there that could improve any indentations with fillers. My PS mentioned that I may need fat transfers after I healed to create symmetry (which I didn't even have before surgery). I don't believe anyone's nose is perfect after surgery... but you should be happy with your results. Before even considering more surgery, consult with other plastic surgeons for their opinions. Not sure where in NY you are located, but Dr. Ciardullo (White Plains) did mine and I also met with Dr. Eric Joseph in NJ who is a whiz with fillers and non-surgical nose jobs. This board is full of support and suggestions. It may also be a good idea to post a question/pictures to the doctors on this board.
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I'm very sorry to hear about this - I also just sent you a personal note. Things will get better.
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I'm sorry you're so very unhappy with your result. I've just sent you a personal message.

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Listen, it is your Plastic Surgeon's JOB to make you satisfied with your nose. He should be offering a revision (for FREE) to fix your nose if it's that bad, or at least some kind of filler to fix the asymmetry (I'm getting that done right now, my asymmetry isn't too bad though) I don't know the extent of yours so I don't know what would be most appropriate in your case-- your doctor should. That's a given so I cannot imagine him saying no. Try your best to gulp down your misery and show some confidence when you tell him so that he knows he can't just push you out the door becaues his job is NOT done. But if he refuses, scrape up some money to sue him. Lawsuits for plastic surgery are very common. Good luck and I hope this is fixed for you.
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I'm so sorry tour were bullied at school. This isn't about your nose, though. Please get help for your depression and suicidal thoughts. Every state has a suicide hotline you can call.
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This is strictly my opinion, but if you’re depressed to the point of contemplating suicide, you really should seek professional help asap. Find a good therapist, call a suicide hotline, or talk to your pastor, if you belong to a church. If you don’t feel you can talk to your parents, then perhaps you have another relative?
Also, it is common for young people your age to have low self-esteem, especially if you’ve been bullied, but it does get better. Time heals. Look around and count your blessing and try to focus on what you do have; a home, parents that love you, health, etc. Best wishes and prayers going your way.
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