Botched Rhinoplasty - Severely Depressed - New York, NY

Hi everyone, I'm here looking for a little...

Hi everyone, I'm here looking for a little guidance. I had a closed septorhinoplasty seven days ago and the cast came off today. First of all, I want to say that I'm a transgender woman so the overall goal for this procedure was to create a more feminine nose as mine had a huge bump and pointed downwards. I also want to say I feel like I did everything right in terms of researching and finding the right surgeon. I went to a surgeon who performs hundreds of rhinoplasties a year, specializes in them, and even gives international conferences on them. On top of that, I have seen his before and after work and its beautiful. I certainly didn't price shop either as this was the most expensive nose job I or any of my friends/family had ever heard of. I had a great rapport with the surgeon and he performed a digital mockup for me in our pre-op meetings and I adjusted the nose until I was happy with it. I told him I wanted it to be as feminine as possible with a slight ski slope shape. Overall, I felt really confident going into the surgery because I thought I had done everything right. Come the day of the surgery, he asks me once more right before I'm about to go under to confirm the concept I had for my nose and I told him: feminine and a slope, NOT straight. He was like "ok don't worry, it will turn out great." After the surgery was over, I became very disappointed in his office because communication on their end halted. They never called me to set up post-op appointments, I had to do it myself. I started to feel like he was overbooking patients and simply churning out surgeries without giving any individualized attention. I was willing to overlook this if the results were good.

So...finally comes the day to reveal my nose. I just want to say that I've had many friends who have had rhinos who told me not to be shocked when I see my new nose and that it will look nothing like it is going to because of swelling. As soon as he took the cast off, my nose felt relieved. I could breathe and I thought it was going to look great. He even told me "Wow, it looks beautiful." He told me, however, that there was a blood collection in my septum (whatever that means) and he proceeded to inject my septum with lidocaine, cut something out, suture it up, and insert more packing while I was awake. He told me that if he did not remove it, the swelling would be prolonged. I had never heard of this and to be honest, it gave me an uneasy feeling. I just felt like something went wrong. Anyways he told me to look in the mirror and to say I was mortified would be an understatement. It is SEVERELY swollen but I have to say that it doesn't even look like a nose. The first thought that came to my mind was Voldemort. My nose looks much more upturned and piggish than I wanted and the whole thing is a giant shapeless blob. To make matters worse, there is no slope that I can see. It's just straight down. I feel like the nose just does NOT fit on my face and I really regret doing this. I was so depressed that I covered my nose with gauze and tape and went to work but as soon as my boss asked me how I was feeling I began to cry hysterically and she sent me home for the week to feel better. My parents think its just swelling and I'm overreacting but I think they're secretly mortified as well and are just trying to make me feel better. Personally, I'm so horrified by my new nose that I can't even look in the mirror. How long does it take for just some of the swelling to go down to the point that it looks like a nose? I just feel like I can never go out in public again which obviously wont work as college starts in 5 days and I work as well. This feels like a nightmare and I don't think it's hit me that this is my new nose. I honestly feel suicidal. Is it possible that I will ever accept this nose and be happy again?
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Comments (6)

It is way to soon to judge what your rhinoplasty will look like. My doctor was very upfront and told me that the tip drops from the initial position. I think they must have gotten lots of panicked calls from people because it was written on all the paperwork too. A nose that is just out if a cast is so very swollen you need to give it time....I felt like a space alien when mine came out of the cast! I am very concerned about your thoughts on suicide and your deep depression over your result. I went through a mild post surgical depression and was disappointed with my results too, But I think that your result may also have been tied in to greater things and had more meaning for you. I think that along with patience you might try to seek out some counseling to help support you through this; The suicide comment scares me for you. Please take care if yourself.
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Thank you so much for sharing your experience on RealSelf! A lot of folks have similar feelings about their noses after surgery, thinking they look piggish. I call it the Miss Piggy syndrome. Try not to panic just yet! You are still really early days. The swelling will come down and the tip will likely drop a bit.

Try to avoid mirrors as much as possible right now (I know easier said than done). We are here for you!
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How was your surgeon ?
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can you post an actual before and after picture of your nose it's hard to judge the situation without seeing the actual results, you don't have to show your face just crop it out. I have seen posts by individuals who thought their results we terrible but in my opinion they had really great work done. I had my nose done over 5 years ago and i'm looking for a new doctor to do a revision I absolutely hate my nose. it's so hard for some people to find the right surgeon especially when they're ethnic or have thick skin. A lot of people have had to go through 2 surgeries to get the results they're looking for. You've just had your surgery done and new noses take around a year to heal you'll have to be patient it's probably not as bad as you think i'm sure if you looked like a monster your parents would tell you and you definitely would be aware of people staring at you with shock and horror.
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I'm sure the swelling and tip will go down! Who was your doctor if you don't mind me asking? I just had a consultation today and want to weigh all of my options.
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Im 6months out of surgery, i still dont like my nose .sometimes i will think it is worthy to go through all this
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