I started this journey back in november 2011. i...
so i tried to find a good, well known, and well praised doctor not too far from home, and that was either in Montréal or Québec city, for me, since i live right in between these two major cities. i had lots of trouble precising my search and finding one doctor whom i thought i could trust, but eventually, by word of mouth with people i know and some recommendations here and there on forums and such, i decided to go with Dr Bensimon (not the one i mention for this review, since i switched surgeon afterwards) who seemed to be a good choice for me.
i met him and thought he was nice and seemed to agree with my goals and wanted to get me there. i asked him to get me as big as possible. he also asked me which kind of cup size i'm looking into and i asked him for D or DD at least. i knew cup sizes are a vague measurement for breast sizes, but i thought that would at least feel big enough for me, coming from AAA cups. when he agreed to give me 450cc approx. and told me he could fit me as much as possible while on the operating table if i agreed to let him decide, which i did, i was happy and that size seemed like a good one, according to all the before and after pictures i had seen of such sizes.
so then surgery day came pretty quickly and i was given mentor 500cc high profile silicone implants in both breasts, on January 25th, 2012. initially i was happy, but i really quickly became disappointed by how little they fluffed out. they also never properly dropped and i never had much lower pole. i also didn't get a iota of sideboob, they were totally contained on my chest. i became convinced these implants were both completely different than what i asked for (big boobs) and they were also ill fitting on my frame since they were so narrow yet so "pointy" by having lots of projection. it felt like having half-spheres glued to my chest.
i went from a 36aaa to a 34dd bra size, but it meant nothing to me, because no matter the bra size i was wearing, i really looked like i had b or c cups at best. in loose clothes or work uniforms, i almost still looked flat-chested.
so when i realized i wasn't going to be happy with my surgery, i decided i should talk about it with my surgeon in person and officially ask him to do something about it. i did after 6 months and some and he asked me to wait it out another 6 months and we'd talk about it again. i did, then i saw him again. while initially he had talked about going to around 700cc ultra high profile under local anesthesia for a reasonable price, he then changed his tune and told me i was still too tight and that he could only get me to around 645cc ultra high profile and only under general anesthesia, so the price ended up being almost the same price as my first procedure, minus 800$.
both the size offer and price were unreasonable to me, so i decided to find out a different surgeon. that's when i found out about Dr Beauregard.
at first when i was searching for a good surgeon for what i wanted, i didn't have any leads and couldn't find which one was the best, but this time around i had talked about it to so many girls that i had this name as reference for a surgeon that is more experienced with larger implants, which is what i needed after all, since mainstream size implants looked small on me.
my new surgeon immediately agreed with me that my previous implants were too narrow for my frame. i had no side boob at all and i just plain looked small. he suggested i should go all out and get the mentor 800cc mod+ saline implants, because they would fill out my chest and would allow me to overfill larger than 800cc and eventually bigger than standard capacities if needed, because they are the best for doing so. i was a bit worried about the extra diameter, because it was much more than what i had in mind (i thought i would ask for ~1cm wider implants, not 2~3cm wider), but he reassured me it would be okay.
i was also already decided to switch to saline implants, for many reasons:
- more flexible for size and correcting asymmetry
- possibility to overfill
- rounder/bigger look overall
so i got this surgery done on August 28th, 2013, 2 and a half months ago. i was much more thrilled with my results right from the start and i finally can say i have big breasts now, so that in itself made it all worth it. i would never regret getting this breast augmentation revision, because my previous implants felt ridiculous to me. i would've rather not have any augmentation than being stuck with these. now on the other hand, i love them. i would still like to go bigger eventually, because i really make these huge implants look small, especially in clothes, but i'm not sure how and when i will be able to, both because of potential complications with larger implants and cost.
i already am dealing with a potential complication, but it seems to be getting better, and that's about some tenting i started to get at around 1 month post-op. it had been getting worse steadily, up to around last week. i saw my surgeon about it and he wasn't convinced it was permanent, but agreed it was worrying and i scheduled a corrective surgery to get more room in my pockets laterally, but since it started getting better very recently, i'm crossing my fingers that i might avoid additional surgery. i already posted about it in the Q&A section of this site.
so now i have 800cc mod+ saline implants filled to 800cc in left breast and 960cc in right breast. the difference in volume was to correct some chest wall asymmetry i have because of my slight pectus excavatum condition. i still don't know what bra size i am, but it will probably end up being around 34g, maybe h. i'm waiting for some more healing and settling before investing in good bras, which i will have to buy online, since no local bra store carries these kind of sizes. i'm currently wearing coobie bras to sleep and an ill-fitting but comfortable enough 38d bra i bought at Wal-Mart; it's way too small in the cups, but by removing the underwires it supports my breasts well and doesn't hurt.
d&f continues and updates on tenting
tenting doesn't seem to have changed in the last few weeks, i mean it still looks about the same "depth" by how my skin is raised, but as they are healing, my breasts are getting closer and closer and now i barely have any gap left in the lower portion of my cleavage. on pictures it's scary i think, but when i look down, it just seems that the way my breasts touch, the angle is just sharper, they still seem to be attached to my sternum. i'm kinda getting fond of their closeness lately, but i'm still crossing my fingers it's not full-on symmastia. i still have that revision surgery scheduled on January 8th and i'm almost 100% certain i want this done, if only for my surgeon to take a look and make sure my pockets are safe, and give them a bit more room laterally (that's the plan).
i added a slew of pictures to show you all how they look lately!
i have symmastia.
i know my surgeon's initial plan to attempt to fix isn't enough, so i want to talk with him about it. i called his office and made another appointment to see him before surgery. unfortunately, said appointment could only be made the day before surgery, so i'm waiting for that day and i hope he'll agree to do a proper symmastia repair and that it will work out well!
i am trying not to dwell too much on all the negative stuff happening around my surgery, but it's tough. yesterday i managed to feel a little better, after a few days of feeling really gloomy. i also bought 2 underwire supportive bra at last this week and one of them ended up shrinking a bit in the washing machine (didn't use the dryer), so i'll have to modify it probably, but otherwise i'm very happy to finally have some nice support and pretty bras :)
saw back my PS, the plan
i'm looking at 3 different issues and the repair will be done under general anesthesia and probably will take around 2h30. he will do a capsulotomy on the sides to open up the pocket as we had already discussed the first time around, but he will also do a capsulorraphy under my right breast, because as it has been pointed to me a few times already earlier, i have slight bottoming out of that breast, and medially, to fix the symmastia. he will also reduce the volume of my right implant to 800cc and possibly, if needed, reduce both implants a bit more.
i'm quite sad about this whole thing and the thought of going backwards in size on top of everything is tough, but i'm really hoping it helps and things heal up properly this time :( my right breast looking so much larger too, i don't mind too much trying to have even implants again, i'll probably have less projection in that breast now, as it was when i had my 500s, but at least it wasn't apparent!
the real problem though i how much time i will need off work and all. i didn't have time to fully discuss the issue with my boss, but i told him about the date and time off i would need and he seemed pissed about it. i was taken aback, because he isn't usually like that, but i really need that surgery and ASAP, because this whole process has taken its toll, and i'm sinking in a financial and emotional pit lately. hope he comes around.
so i had my repair revision 6 days ago. now post-op!
up until now, things are healing smoothly; i've been wearing my thong bra pretty religiously, but today i'm taking a small break, because my skin is starting to break off real bad on some spots from the continuous wear of this thing. i hope everything will heal alright, because this is quite the challenge. i took 2 weeks off and i will need them all i tell you.
now if only i could be happier about the outcome, it would be great, but it's not so much. they look SO MUCH smaller than before. i feel like they lost their "punch". i liked the little fakeness they had and now they look so much more natural. anyways, i'll see how it turns out with time and healing and settling down, but still. i'm pretty sad...
so anyways, i'm sharing a few pictures to show you how they look like. if the repairs hold well, i'll be able to say that my surgeon did a good job! fingers crossed!
a new picture to show progress
some comparison pictures
4 weeks progress pictures and some new ones in clothes
i'm healing great i think though. i'm a bit scared of the symmastia repairs not holding since they've been closing in the middle a bit, but it still seems to be okay. i'll probably take another round of progress pictures in a few days/weeks.
5½ weeks update and pictures (nude/bikini top/striped top)
i'm adding a few pictures i took this week-end. i'm sad that they look smaller in the nude, but i'm at least happy that they look bigger in clothes. that's been my smile of the day, lol
i like them a lot in clothes, not so much my cleavage
the repairs are still holding and i'm liking them a bit more in clothes. it still hurts after a day spent when i'm not wearing my thong bra. for some reason my gray underwire bra makes them hurt a lot in the creases by the end of the day. that's one thing i'm looking forward to: wearing a proper normal bra and not hurting.
i'm also impatient to be able to stop worrying about my complications creeping back. i'm guesstimating i should be mostly safe after 3 months; that seems to be the average time most repair surgeons will require to wear the thong bra so i'm trying to follow this recommendation (my surgeon didn't give me any, he's like that...)
2 months post-op achieved
i'm slowly starting to phase out the thong bra of my clothes, still going back to it frantically from time to time, because i'm still a bit scared that things could break down, and things are still looking good up until now. i'm keeping my fingers crossed!
i posted a few pictures along with this update and here's how i feel. when i look at my pictures, i think they look really pretty. i'm very happy that my repair surgery has turned out this way. i mean sometimes it takes ages to look good or sometimes i see girls that are either out of breath or somehow forced to accept lower-grades results, so that's something i am grateful of, in spite of still having a sour aftertaste of the whole process it took for me to get here.
the one thing i'm really sad about is cleavage, or lack thereof. i'm back to where i was when i had my 500s, as far as cleavage goes. and i'm not sure when i'll feel safe about pushing them together with bras and such, but well, i'll have to wait this one out for now. i'm hoping i feel more satisfied about cleavage as they heal.
i'm in the process of finding my new "ideal" size for bras and when i'll have found something, i'll update here :)
10 weeks update with progress collages
i've still been trying to "wean" myself off the thong bra and it's not easy. i received a new bra this week and it finally fits as far as width/diameter goes, my sideboob don't hurt anymore in the bra, but it's like almost 1" too deep. it's like i have 34ff boobs in projection and 34gg in width. this makes it like almost impossible to find properly fitting bras. i've ordered another one with moulded cups and hope it fills the gap better.
otherwise, it's mental healing in addition to continued physical healing. i've got the most natural results i could ever ask for a previously flat girl, but this makes it so frustrating it's impossible to get nice cleavage. i don't even know, but i keep thinking i'd rather have ultra-fake looking boobs that look huge than huge naturals that don't look their size. and they're not as "handy" as naturals, because they don't take the shape i want, they just sit there, bouncy but stiff, no making roundness on top with these. at least not yet. i'm still hoping.
but overall i know they look perfect, and for a post-repair result, they are amazing. i'm aware of that and i'm thankful! i don't want to come out as an unappreciative spoiled child :)
there's this boutique, "Change" in Montréal
i was able to come out of the store with one bra from their collection. i think it's the thinnest padding bra i've ever owned. it fits me like a glove, so much i never thought that was possible. it's like someone made a clay mold of my boobs and conceived this bra. but anyways, it fits great, it's a 34h us, and i probably should've bought the 34i because i'm so exactly fitting it that if i d&f some more, it won't fit anymore. but for the time being, it's my #1 go to bra now. i've included a picture of it in my update.
otherwise, they're continuing to soften up and i'm about 80% done with the thong bra. some days i end up going back to it, but i'm about done. i don't think it's doing much anymore, but still feels great when i wear it. my new bras offer good support up to my cleavage and creases, so i don't feel naked.
i'll talk some more about my thoughts in a later update.
3 months post-op achieved!
some new pics!
3 ½ months now, things are still going well
i really have to say i'm in love with my boobs now, finally, like i read that most of us end up being after a while! i'm still extremely annoyed that i eat the ccs so much, but at least i have pretty boobs now. and i wish i could get better cleavage too; i have to settle with too natural looking boobs all the time, whatever the bra and clothes. i just can't make them pop.
my only real gripe left is about that weird sharp "edge" that's inside my boobs, it's probably the fill port or something that's not where it should be, and it's also causing me a lot of discomfort when i work because i have to wear a supportive bra and it puts pressure on the spot where the sharp thing is and it's probably hurting from the inside. i'm really worried about that :(
otherwise, i'm waiting for november to come, because i really have to get that fill, hoping the sharp edge problem and inside rippling are gone after this.
i'm posting a few new pictures.
4 ½ months update, feeling a bit more confident with the repairs
i posted many pictures showing a few things that've happened to me recently, like buying new bras, wearing my bikini (too small, lol, gotta buy a new one), and a collage that shows progression. i'm getting happier, and a bit sadder at the same time, depends on my mood.
i still want to get that fill in november and since my repairs feel more solid and permanent, i'm feeling more confident that i should be able to go through it, get a hundred or so more cc's in there, and gain some projection. i still really want the shape to be more "normal", so bras fit better and all, because right now, they're always too deep in the cups when i manage to get to the cup size that has the underwire wide enough! the ones i bought are 32J !!!
6 months official before and after and update
as a precaution though, i've decided to wear my thong bra almost all the time, at least all days that i work, to have good support in my gap and turns out the new thong bra i ordered looks much better in clothes than the other one, as i was hoping to. it turned out to be a very expensive venture (180$, bra + shipping + insane UPS fees + import taxes), but it was worth it. it props up my boobs forward and towards the sides and i look much better and much more like my size in clothes. i'm finally feeling sexy and kinda stacked with these boobs!
i'm still looking forward to having my implants filled up to specs, because they're still doing weird things inside. i'm feeling the valve or port, i'm feeling rippling and some folding, it's very unappealing, and i can't wait for that to be better. i'm happy too, because my appointment's been rescheduled sooner, so i'm going in on september 17th for this. very simple surgery, should be a quick in and out. fingers crossed everything goes well. and i have my vacations scheduled around this surgery, so i'll also be taking a break from work which i need!
so, after 7 months of waiting
my surgeon added 200cc to each side, even though i was sure he would go more lightly on the volume to prevent further complications (we had agreed), but well, if things hold, i'll be happy to have every little drop. i'm now 900cc left and 1000cc right, with my 800cc mod+ saline implants by mentor.
first 2 days post-op progress pictures
1 week update with pics
i've also decided to go back to using my thong bra that is more fashionable, more usable with clothes. it doesn't put pressure on my sternum like the other, but it does a good job at keeping pressure off and keeping them separated! i hope it works well and keeps the symmastia at bay! my creases are still even too, so i'm hoping the bra's awesome support helps for this too.
almost 1 month post-op
the one thing that's been taking a toll is muscle pain on my left side. every morning when i wake up after my night of sleep i have burning muscle pain in leftie and all around towards my shoulder and back and it's not getting better. it's something that started after 1~2 weeks post-op and it's not gotten better since. some mornings it's easier, some it's much more painful. it usually dissipates mostly during the day, but every night it starts again. it's really depressing, i'm so tired of hurting all the time.
i'm adding some updated pics too.
i was very pleased with the staff and my surgeon, who took all the time i needed to discuss my revision options and worries/expectations. appointments often ran late, but i was fine with it, since i understood why it happened when he was taking a lot of time to go above and beyond my expectations of a surgeon and explain to me everything i needed to know. i felt no pressure to leave his office. i think he does beautiful work, i've seen it on many other girls, and i have to say that he did something great with what he had to work with (my body). surgical settings were fine, if a bit colder than what i am used to, with no rooms to recover in, but overall i felt safe and in good hands. i was able to see my surgeon on short notice when i was worried and while my first surgery was 4 months after my first consult, which itself was a 6 months wait, i will be able to get a revision to fix my problems in 2 months, if still needed.