Hello!!! I have been following everyone's...
Hello!!! I have been following everyone's experiences on here for years. In fact I've been a RealSelf member for a very long time. My whole reason for joining RealSelf was in preparation for Rhinoplasty. At the time I just didn't have the funds or much knowledge about the procedure. I sort of felt as though I was living it through you guys.
Anyway, this is something I've wanted since I was very young. At the time I didn't know it yet. I'm uncertain as to whether or not I knew there was such a thing. All I knew was that I didn't really like my nose. I had wondered why it didn't look like my sisters, and when drawing self portraits, I would always sneak and draw it much smoother, and without the hook...wondering if anyone had noticed my deception... It has always depressed me, and bothered me. People have always had something to say about it, and it seems to be the only thing people can use against me. In fact I've had people I thought were my friends drawing terrible pictures of me behind my back like children. There's been so much negativity coming from this nose that it will be a relief to part with it and move on with my life.
Fast forward a lot of years looking into this. Feeling down and miserable everyday...here I am. It feels surreal that I'm going to be having this procedure in just a few months...It feels like it's happening so quickly all of the sudden.
So main thing I can't stand about my nose is it's huge. It's just a big nose. It appears very long. It's crooked (I broke it when I was little on cement stairs, and it never healed properly). It has a hump and twists to one side...There are irregularities in the tip, hanging columella, droops horribly when I smile. I have a lot of memories of myself bumping my nose into things as a child. I don't really have any recent pictures because I hate taking photos of my face..for obvious reasons. I'll post a few later today or tomorrow so you can get the idea -__-
Here are the photos -____-
Also, I have chosen a doctor...It actually took years of searching. I have traveled to New York, and all over MA. Go figure, the doctor I ended up picking is just a couple towns over. ahha. I must get to work, but just wanted to post really quickly. My surgery is scheduled for October 8th. It's my birthday gift to myself. I'll post in more detail soon :)
So here's some more photos of different angles and a morph of what I would like done, being conservative...I want something proportionate, straight with nice curvature. To be honest I'm not a fan of pointy noses with scooped out slopes. I know a lot of girls like it but I don't feel an American looking pointy pig nose would really suit my European features. These morphing programs are hard, so I'm going to try to tune up my skills and perhaps post some more, any input would be helpful :)
Time is flying!!!
2 months to go! I'm nervous and so busy working that I haven't even started preparing! I'm posting a few more photos so you can see how my nose looks different at every angle. My iphone doesn't take the best pictures...or perhaps that's me, they are sort of blurry. My apologies. ahah Das nose! It's crazy, twisted, broken, and ugly!
So far finding the right surgeon is just a giant pain. I hated it. In reality I suppose that's something you wont know until after you've had your procedure. You just have to go with your gut. I wont know until I've had mine if this was all worth it...the years saving to have this done..
One surgeon made me a horrendous morph of my "after" nose that made me want to puke, and then we argued for awhile about why he couldn't deproject my nose or my nostrils blah blah..No thank you! One was an eccentric, and I liked him, but all of his noses looked to the same and he wanted to give me something super upturned with a scoop...no thanks, I have ethnic features...the third was a very friendly and capable man. He gave me a speech on how in the modern age a girl is allowed to have a big nose...Really not the right way to start off a discussion with someone who wants a Rhinoplasty. Also, I showed him a photo of what I wanted and he told me it was too small and I said okay...and that was that. I went on my search again typed in Google Rhinoplasty surgeons in my area and there I found the surgeon who I chose. It took years and many different opinions. I got really frustrated to the point of tears, because I felt as though I would never find the right one. Well I'm passing out while writing this, it's been a long day and none of this post probably even makes sense ahhaha. Exhaustion -___-
Pre-op appointment was today. This morning I started the day off early, got all the money situated and went straight in. The amount of paperwork I had to sign was exhaustive, especially since I'm pretty psychotic about reading through all of it. HAHAHA. Not that I don't trust my surgeon, but curiosity gets the best of me. :P The girl who works the front desk is always friendly, and informative. When we got into the exam room she went over everything very thoroughly and answered all of my questions. I asked her if she had any work done yet, and she hadn't. For some reason it sort of freaks me out to be taking words from someone who hasn't experienced any surgery themselves...or hasn't had any cosmetic work done. If the day comes that I'm working in a PS office, I would take full advantage o_O ahhahaah!!
When my surgeon finally arrived it calmed my nerves. He has a great personality and really makes you feel safe, and cared for. He has caring eyes...if you know what I mean. We discussed the surgery, what he plans to do, and possible outcome. This is where things get a little stressful for me. I have an idea in my head and on paper of what I would like. He has an idea of what he needs to do to make it all work. This is a bit confusing for me. From what he's saying to me, doesn't sound like it's going to be quite what I want...but at this point I need to let go and let the experienced person steer me in the direction he feels fit. It's difficult to envision something that hasn't yet materialized. Unfortunate, but true. Perhaps some blind faith will bring me to where I want to be. Who knows? At this point I'm ready to just move forward. I trust my surgeon, and that's the best I can ask for.
My savings is completely non-existent, and I have added a bit of debt...My plan for two weeks off of work is looking rather dismal. My associates are all giving me grief and being no help. Very selfish. All but one. Though that could be my fault because I decided not to tell anyone. Oh well... :/ By the way sorry for deleting all of my photos, my boyfriend told me they were really bad, so I got embarrassed and left only the really blurry old ones hahaha :)
It's the night before my surgery
Hey my nosey peoples!!! I'm starting to feel pretty nervous...all this time went by, I had meetings, and interviews galore. I had been working so much that it didn't even occur to me until this morning that my surgery is tomorrow.
I called the office around 10AM to confirm the time of my procedure. Worked like crazy all day. Went food shopping...currently guzzling some water...applied this odd motion sickness patch.
My sister is here to come along for the ride in the morning, she will be in the waiting room the entire time :) ( I love her SO much!) hhahah I'm scheduled 7AM. My boyfriend is going to be here taking care of me the entire time, so it feels nice to have some support. I will post my old photos back up soon, and will attempt to give an update tomorrow if possible. My surgeon didn't make me a drawing or computer morph...so I'm just going off his word, which is nerve wracking because I haven't the slightest idea what I'm going to wake up to. Though I did bring in my own morphs and photos....Just praying all goes well -_____-
8 Oct 2013
Day of treatment
Just got home a bit ago. Feeling alright. A bit sore, but I've broken my nose quite a few times so this isn't bad at all. I've got swelling and mini shiners hahah
I slept pretty well last night considering. My swelling and bruising is much worse today which was to be expected. I have a hard time keeping freezing ice on my skin and eyes eeeeek!!! For breakfast I had a protein shake with mixed berries. One side of my nose hurts more than the other. Maybe that was where he got the graft from? Not sure. I'm going in for a checkup in a couple hours. I really love my surgeon. He is the sweetest person and very supportive. While I was changing the dressing under my nose I took a little gander. It's so strange having space between my nose an upper lip!! I'm so curious as to what it's going to look like! o_O
At the visit to the PS office, he took this sticky piece of gauze/tape off bottom of my nose. It was so strange seeing myself with this different nose. I was a bit horrified at first. It doesn't help that my upper lip is stiff and weird and I can't really smile. I'm just not sure what to think. I have quite a ways to go until I can get an idea of the final result. I'm currently feeling like porky pig. The nostrils are very visible from the front.
Still bleeding quite a bit...HRMM
I am so swollen and bruised...It is awful. My eyes are puff balls and my entire face has taken on some odd shape ahaha. I've been hydrating and doing all I can to try to combat it. Taking arnica, and applying it topically as well as eating lots of anti inflammatory foods. From what my surgeon explained its pretty apparent why I am in this sort of shape. Just looking at the inside of my nostrils I can see stitches, and I know my bones were broken. My nose is completely unrecognizable...I mean what a HUGE change. I didn't think it was possible. It's too early for me to jump to conclusions about how I feel about it just yet. Last night was so challenging...I felt regret and wondered if I made the right choice, or if I'd ruined my face....I've definitely been going through the motions. Only time will tell. Things so far that are keeping me slightly sane would be my boyfriend and my father, they are being optimistic and it's helping me get through these weird patches. I'm not used to not working, so that's also driving me crazy...I've also been thinking a lot about how people will react to me when I return to work >.
Hey everyone, My nose is still in pain each morning. It seems to get better throughout the day. My bruising is almost completely gone, but my facial swelling is still present around my jaw/lower face. Swelling is always worse in the morning. At the moment the insides of my nostrils look black with caked up blood. I've been cleaning around the edges gently with peroxide and q-tip, also using saline spray, and a vaseline-esque product to moisturize- it just dries up and cakes up constantly though -_- . I have visible stitches in my nostrils and I don't want to mess with them at all. For a few days there my nostrils were looking very uneven, they aren't perfect, but they look so much better today. Mind you, my nostrils were never even to begin with since I broke my nose as a kid on cement stairs. My splint appears to be crooked on my nose, but I also think it's due to uneven swelling shifting things around. I just hope it straightens itself out. My tip seems to have dropped just the slightest bit already(phew) ahahah, but my surgeon says it's going to drop more so he always raises it up higher than he wants it to be. Sleeping has been uncomfortable. I'm a nose breather and it's very difficult even subconsciously to breath through my mouth. A lot of times I wake up finding myself gasping for air, but overall I'm alright. My nose is very sore after I smile, or laugh too much. Today was the first day I really laughed or smiled. I've been trying not to, but it's hard ahahahhaa. In my day to day life I am constantly laughing at everything!! After almost every sentence...I must be VERY annoying :D Overall, I did not expect to go through as much pain medication as I have, but as I mentioned before, I didn't expect this much pain. So at the moment, just staying optimistic. It's difficult though, because I don't get my splint or anything removed until the 18th and I'm finding it harder and harder to get a good nights sleep. -_____- Can't wait to roll around in my sleep and doze off in whatever position I choose! AHHHHHHHH!!!! Okay, All done. I'm going to post a few pics at some point today :) Hope everyone is doing well and healing nicely !
Sorry don't want people to find me on here -___-
All of my swelling is gone. I have the tiniest bit of bruising left. I feel like my old self again. Very excited to get my splints off/out. My splints inside my nostrils are annoying and I can really feel them now. The eternal one is just an eyesore hiding my mysterious profile. Not sure what its going to look like. So far, even with it all in tact, I feel happier. I don't want to jinx myself, but this has been something thats bothered me my entire life. So if I'm happy with what I see under this stuff, it will be truly amazing. :) hope everyone is doing good and looking marvelous with their new noses!
In just got my cast taken off. It was removed and he handed me the mirror. I could not for the life of me recognize that girl looking back at me.. WOW! My new nose is amazing and I really don't want to jinx myself, but that's all I can say. Nothing could have prepared me for that moment. My surgeon is an artist. However, it's going to take time for me to get used to such a drastic change. I mean this nose is nothing like my other nose. Nothing. It's difficult to describe the mix of emotions I'm feeling. I thought I had gotten used to it with my splint on, but once removed its jut so different.
I'm getting mixed vibes from my family and friends. It's understandable, it's going to take some getting used to for everyone who knows me. Also, I've come to the conclusion that there's no way that people aren't going to know when they see me. Oh well. Unfortunately, ever since he removed the cast and stitches, I smell this nasty smell. Anyone else ever hear of this? I still have the internal splints in for another week, and I've been feeling nausea ever since the cast/stitch removal. Could just be nerves -_- Don't know how to feel.
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who left me positive feedback yesterday. I was really shocked at the response. Thank you guys so much, and especially everyone who chatted and e-mailed me here on realself. You are the best, and it has helped tremendously. My nose has since swelled up quite a bit which I was expecting and isn't showing much definition. I'm still really happy with my decision, and I know it's going to be swelling like this for a long time. Ill continue to update with photos of my progress here and there, but it's back to work for me and I won't have much time
Hey everyone, It's been over a month since my surgery. I'm feeling pretty good. I've been taking it easy. Lately though, I've been craving a lot of food that's not the healthiest. My nose swells up and down. One day I love it, the next day I think it needs improvement. Looking at old photos really helps me get over the rough days. Knowing that its not going to be absolutely perfect also helps. It's best to be patient and just wait it out. The worst that can happen at this point is I need a little touch up. My surgeon is elated and loves my nose. People who I haven't seen in a while tell me I look really good, but they either can't tell what the difference is or they are too afraid to say anything hahah. In my case I think it's that they're too afraid. Sooo as days pass the soreness of my nose changes. My surgeon informs me that Im still swollen around the tip area. One day it's sore, next day it's not. I still smell a nasty odor sometimes. The insides are still sore. My scar is invisible and healed nicely. You can't tell anything was done. I'm still very happy, and still vey afraid to be happy because I feel like its too early to be sure hrmmm. Anyway here's some new pics :)
A couple more pics
A couple more pics from different angles. Still swelling in and around tip area.