PTSD from Rhinoplasty - Washington DC, DC

I had some difficult periods of my life, but nothing like this. This really did come from my reaction to the surgery. I feel as though I have lost my Self, and miss my old face. I wish I could go back in time. I was definitely not ready to make such a big decision and I definitely did not think enough about what would or could happen if I did not like the outcome.

I'm in the same boat. I have had the most horrible 6 months since my surgery. I miss my old face every day. I feel like I'm mourning a loss of someone I was close to. The surgery was meant to be conservative but it didnt come out that way. Not only do I have no connection to my new self, my nose is more crooked than ever before. My surgeon puts it down to swelling but not much has changed month to month. I cry ever day regretting this decision. Everyday that goes passed I feel more like a stranger to myself. I see a psychologist and take anti depressants but nothing can cure my broken heart and my regret that I ruined my unique looks. I wish I was warned before I went in. I wish there were more people posting their bad experiences so that others wouldn't have to make the same mistakes and feel sadness that ruins your life. I don't know where to go from here.

I am really glad that you posted. I am going to send you a private message now.

I understand everything that you have expressed. Because it is the same for me. The difference now for me is that I just had a revision surgery in February and I have more hope. I am trying my best not to judge my nose since I am still in the height of the swelling. I can see that I do like the nose I have better than the last one. At least that is what I feel at the moment. Who knows how it will heal and what I will feel in a month from now. I guess I am doing better since I stopped taking my anti-depressant and am doing more than wallowing in regret and fighting off horrible thoughts. However, I would like to continue to see a therapist, maybe just not as often as I had been going. I was severely depressed before my revision. I actually can't believe I made it through my graduate school program. It was a nightmare every day waking up. I think the trauma that I experienced and the obsessive thinking that would never go away really has had a lasting impact on some of the deepest levels of my Person/Self, if that makes any sense. I still have a long way to go, even though I am feeling better than before. I need to constantly try to make new connections to my "new Self", which for me still is not easy, since I continue to miss my old face before any of these surgeries. Please feel free to send me a private message. I found that it really helps to talk about this experience with those who have experienced it (and I believe there are a lot of us). It is the only way that I got through. There was a lovely woman who responded to my post and she agreed to speak to me on the phone. I remember calling her the minute that she sent me her phone number, because I was that desperate to connect with somebody who understood how I felt. That conversation was so important to me and I will never forget her generosity. I would like to be of help to anybody out there, just as this woman was to me. This is a very special community, especially for those of us who are in the deepest depths of suffering, so please feel free to contact me.

Never had issues in past. Never. My doc performed rhino on me insisting wasn't cosmetic but I needed it. Wouldn't look different. I fell for it. No imaging discussion. To wake with totally different shorter nose (that I asked he not touch..,,,) traumatic. Getting up every day is a struggle but so is sleeping

Hello: You have lost some contact with your Self but can regain it...I know from experience. I posted this comment in reply to another person here but am copying it for you: "I have learned much from this. First of all, what got you into this cosmetic plastic surgery in the first place was defining your identity too much by appearance. You are not you body or your mind, as the great Indian teacher Sadhguru says. If you were your body or your mind, then if you got disfigured you would no longer have the same soul, but that is not true so do you see that your real Self is beyond all that? You are your story, your vibration, your unique auric rainbow, your true intent. The rest is superficial. Look at all the healings which were done in history; people with serious problems healed. Some animals can regenerate body parts; maybe someday we can do this. Use your imagination to imagine regaining what you desire; then the true magic will begin. Also the miracle of true love can get you back to your real self. I read Linda Goodman's "Star Signs" and in it she explains how she had a series of life lessons that taught her not to deifne her loved one by his appearance. Specifically, this is what happened: Her beloved husband died. Then on the very anniversary of his death, she was walking mournfully on a beach and a man who not only wore the same aftershave lotion as her husband, but looked exactly like him was walking down the beach at the same time as she was. She realized later he was what is called an "astral twin" of her husband. So anyway, they talked and he also said that she reminded him of his prior love. Yet Linda and this man did not have common interests at all. He had a different SOUL and higher Self from her husband. The lesson for her was to not put too much emphasis on the "clay vessel". After her husband died she kept craving his physicality but that was not his true essence, she now saw. It is a painful but liberating lesson. To "get back to the garden" we have to realize that the reason we "fell" from "the garden" was because we lost sight of what was real and true; we fell for an illusory "apple". We people who have seen the horror of this so clearly through the plastic surgery can be heroes who show the rest of the world the truth about social manipulation, etc. I agree with all the people here suggesting a support group for us to meet and talk more. I am actually an artist and art therapist and it has been found that art therapy is one of the best healers for PTSD. I also run this group: https://www.meetup.com/unconventionalminds/ (The bulk of my traumas have been about not being accepted or supported as my true self)"

I am so sorry… I know how you feel. I am taking a lot of meds too... It has changed my life in such a big way... Are you going to have a revision?

Thank you so much for sharing. I would love to one day start a group where we all speak to the public about this. Maybe a traveling speaking tour to target teenagers in school. Or maybe on a popular show that could reach thousands of people. I live in Kenya at the moment but am VERY serious in interested in arranging something like this one day. I can't tell you how much I understand your pain. Please do not give up on life. I felt like I wanted to do that several times. I had a revision and although I am not 100 % "me", I am doing better than before. I would love to chat with you. I will send you a private message now.

Yes support groups would be great. As an African person, maybe you can identify with my experience. When I went to the surgeon as a young person I saw racist judgements about beauty. I had a "Jewish" nose and there were ten other Jewish girls in the hospital getting the same procedure at the same time as me. There's something terribly wrong with that. When I first met with the surgeon to plan my surgery, he took me into a room without my mother present. in that room he showed me photos of women of Asian and African descent having their noses altered to be more "white" (narrower nostrils, etc. Even at that young age I knew something was wrong with this... As an artist I know that the beauty of the bofy lies in how nature created you, not how your mind thinks you would look better. The mind can deceive; it is full of social conditioning, etc. Also young people feel especially pressured by this...

I have this group for people who feel invalidated for being true to themselves: https://www.meetup.com/unconventionalminds/

Me too

so this is an old post and I don't know if anyone is reading this but I have become suicidal after my botched rhinoplasty 6 months ago and my life has become a living hell. I wanted to know if things have gotten better for you cause I feel so hopeless right now.