I have a wide bulbous tip and it droops when I...

I have a wide bulbous tip and it droops when I smile! It's horrid and it completely depletes my self esteem. I've been called pinocchio, rodent all sorts of things. I've even had a girl come up to me and ask - Why is your nose so big? I'm either going to London or Belgium to have my rhinoplasty. I have my consultation with Mr D'souza on the 28th of Feb (he's an ent surgeon) and my third consultation with dr noorman van der dussen on the 23rd of march. I shall update you guys.

Pictures

Pics of my current nose and simulations I made on my iphone

times passing by so slowww

More selfies in the meantime

consultation with alwyn d'souza

I just came back from a consultation with him and I feel like I want him to carry out my rhinoplasty. He seems to be skilled as rhinoplasty is his speciality being an ENT surgeon - he performs about 2-3 rhinoplasties a week. He showed me one picture of this asian lady who had a rhinoplasty and her implant tore through her skin and was visible on the exterior, he's going to do her rhinoplasty on monday, he does do a fair amount of revision surgeries from people who went to other surgeons. His fees are £4550 whilst Dr Noorman Van der Dussen is £3800 - a £750 pound difference. I don't consider that to be much of a difference as I haven't taken in flights and hotel into consideration if i were to go to Belgium. I'm persuaded to remain in london for my rhinoplasty, lemme just see how my consultation with dr noorman van der dussen goes in march.

consultation with dr noorman van der dussen

I booked my surgery on the 10th of july. I have good feelings about this surgeon because he talks your whole face into consideration, he also does revision rhinoplasty so that reflects upon his skills, i saw some of his work at the consultation and i liked what i saw.

Feel like shit.

I was crying earlier today - I feel so guilty and selfish for wanting a nose job. My mum has been living with her disability all her life. Why can't I just be happy with my flaw? My dad works so hard, how can I spend so much money on myself? But then I remember all the bullying, all the comments. How ugly I feel. How I cover my nose every time I laugh and smile - and how people mock me for that. I feel so bad, I don't know what to do, I just cry when i'm on my own and hope no one sees me. Don't know why i'm posting this, I just feel so worthless right now, I can't talk to anyone about this. I hate trying to act normal everyday. I hate feeling so guilty.. my parents deserved better than me.

does anyone else feel like this?

Items to prepare myself

I've bought a V shaped pillow, and I'm going to buy arnica so that I can start taking it a week prior to my surgery. What other items do you recommend me to buy to prepare myself?

Scared...

This girl had two nose job surgeries with him and she's still not satisfied.. (The review is in dutch). Generally the reviews for him are positive but I found this one.. I don't know what to do... Someone guide me

Runny nose

x_x I have a runny nose and my day of surgery is SOON. I don't have a sore throat or temperature, so I think it's just hay fever, I had some piriteze before I went out but I still have a bit of a runny nose. I don't know if i'm overly worrying, but I hope the surgery can still take place.

Will update and reply to comments when I come back on the 17th

My dad is crazy for letting me go abroad for rhinoplasty lol and i feel so awkward right now, can't believe I'm getting this done, feel a mixture of nervousness, fright and anxiousness. But if I don't get it done now, I will regret it. I hope everything goes smoothly :( mums freaking out and she's making me go to the temple to pray before I go

It's done

The hotel is very nice and the people here are so friendly! I remember when I got off the train and me and my dad were like...... Where have we landed?! luckily we found a cafe who ordered a taxi for us to our hotel - I'd recommend it to anyone who may consider surgery here, it's called euverbrake. The hospital itself was very clean and modern. Unfortunately the doctor was running late but he tells me he never rushes anything- it's the result that matters not the time. I trusted his vision on my future nose as he is an expert on proportions. Im in my hotel now and I don't have any discomfort apart from the blood leaking from my nose which I have to continuously clean up, I'm wondering why a drip pad wasn't placed

Can't sleep

I wrote so much initially but it didnt upload, oh how very annoying! I can't sleep:( it's 1:35am and my dad is snoring so much, I wish I could be in that position. I was in pain but it was bearable, just uncomfortable so I took medication. The pain has decreased but I have a headache and my eyes kinda hurt; let the swelling begin ! :( for some reason my left eye is swollen whilst my right eye is normal. Oh and my top lip is swollen too.

A picture speaks 1000 words

Please tell me it won't get worse. I can't open my left eye :(

-.-

I'm not going to lie. I'm a bit annoyed, why wasn't a drip pad placed.. I emailed his secretary and I'm going to go pick some up in the lovely state that I am

Nvm

The clinic might be closed no one is answering. Nvm.

Pics

Before + with cast

Idk

I like the side view he didnt change it too much and it doesn't droop and it's straight but I hate the tip I hope it changes with time. I was very depressed after surgery and dr nvdd called me up personally and told me not to worry and not obsess over it and to pick myself up and that we will meet after 2 months and if there's something I don't like it can be changed

Pics

Looks different in the car

different lighting

Looks different here

...

It's too pointy and still droops and the tip is so weird.. I wasted so much money. This was meant to make me happy but has given me more reason to feel depressed its all my fault

I hate myself

I don't eat I don't sleep I don't go out I don't want to do anything

I can't get up

I hear what you all are saying thanks for giving up your time to support me, it worked until I had to brush my teeth and look in the mirror. Now I'm back in bed, I can't get up. I know this is gross but I've been having diarrhoea because I haven't been eating properly (only a bit of coke/juice) here and there. I emailed a pyschiatrist, but she'll probably tell me to go to a centre or something and I can't go up to someone and explain my stupid problems. I want to feel normal, I really do. But I look like a rat, everytime I go out I keep repeating this to myself subconsciously. What should I do today?

Caption

^ read the caption under my pictures

..

I've booked an appointment with the gp and I'm going to calm myself down, stop looking in the mirror and apply for jobs. I will give it a few months to allow myself to adjust to the changes and I'm confident that dr nvdd is a good doctor and will admit when there is something wrong/something that needs to be adjusted. And I thank marjie and nvdd for putting up with me because tbh I am mental. Erm :) I think I'm an extreme case of post rhinoplasty depression but I need to pick myself up because this is my only life and I should make the most of it because there are people with worse conditions than me. I just don't know what happens to me.
Dr Noorman van der dussen

I've seen Dr noorman van der dussen on two occassions and he's a very jolly man and he is extremely knowledgeable and since he's a female feminization surgeon, he knows the right proportions to sculpt my nose to fit my face. I have positive feelings towards him and probably will go along with him.

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I'm sorry you're not pleased with your nose. You're only 11 days post and you already look great. I think you'll end up liking your nose believe me. It will change so much in the next few months. In your last post it seems that you've taken control of your mental situation and that's great. I hope everything turns out perfect for you and please keep us posted.
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So sorry you are hurting. It sounds like you're being proactive about your mental health and getting your life on track.
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I know you will not listen to me because your self esteem is low.. but, you are beautiful. You don't need a cookie cutter nose, you are perfect the way you are. All of your features are beautiful. It's so sad that you can't see that. You've got to learn yourself.
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*learn to love yourself.
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Looks worth it :D
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omg i feel your pain....i to feel so depressed and low...my smile is not back, my forehead has no expressions my nose front seems so wide and weird...and I am 13 days post up....i dont know what to do I dont sleep more than 5 hours daily, Im obseed to look in the mirror....I was sure I had choose the right dr. I have maild the clinic and they told me the shape should start to take form around 1 -2 months.....omg just wanna cry my heart out. I was doing research for 1 year....and i dont know what to do....I try to tell myself this is goind to be fine, but my tip seems soooo wide is driving me crazy!!!!!!!!!!
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It looks so great! Try using foundation in your face with high light and a bronzer so you can contour. It will help until you are all healed and swelling is gone.
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I have tried that but it looks odd since my tip is too defined. It was easier contouring my old nose lol
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Hi ive been following your posts since the very start, Sorry i haven't commented as yet but here it goes; Im writing out of 100% honesty here and not with any made up words to make you feel better. I can honestly say your nose is MUCH better than it was before. After the swelling goes down it is going to look great! if he would had shortened it anymore your nose might have become lifted (exposing the nostrils). Im Indian male and also have similar skin tone and thickness to yours. I too have a very wide nose (like your before pictures) and had an unsuccessful primary where the surgeon over shortened the nose and didnt perform the nostril reduction, my nose looks wider than before :( However what i can't stress enough to you is that your nose will swollen for about 1 year! (may be a few months on top of that). 3 months after my primary i was thinking most of the swelling probably gone but i was very wrong, looking back i think after 3 months my nose was still 65% swollen but the shitty thing is that feeling your nose you can never tell whats swelling and what is going to stay. Its times like these i wish i had taken progressive pictures to show you how much the nose keeps changing in the first year. Unfortunately having skin like ours is a big disadvantage when it comes to healing time. I actually quite exicted for you (if im being honest) because its already very natural looking and after a year your nose is going to be narrow and elegant looking. More than anything else, your last few post do worry me, wish i could call you and convince you to stop! because looking back you will regret it.
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Thank you for your support, and I suppose I'm glad that its still long as I'm Indian, it's weird because I'm 11 days post op but I don't feel like my nose is swollen, I feel like I'm already healed which is mostly likely not true. ill give it more time and then assess the results. Have you gone back to your surgeon? And if so, what did he say?
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You are so pretty. Truly.
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Thanks for ur support
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you and i are living in the same hell
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I am going to give you some advice, that you may not want or accept, but please consider looking into therapy. It helped me a lot through results that left me devastated. Your title speaks of suicide, you are posting photos with captions about self-induced scars from harm you inflicted on yourself before ever having rhinoplasty, which is a sign that therapy was needed before a nose job (even though you state you harmed yourself over nose comments, if you are consumed by it enough to harm yourself, that is an extreme mental health issue going on) and you caption photos about being ugly and easy? You really really need to help yourself. The reality of the situation is, 1. Your nose looks nice!!!!!! 2. It doesn't matter what anyone says because you are looking at yourself through a warped self-perception 3. You are early in recovery and it will continue to get even better! and 4. that won't matter until you get help. Because the problem is not just your nose. I understand your despair and pain but the work you need done is on the inside. There are free counseling programs. Please use them. This is beyond your nose and a true cry for help. And that is ok, we are all here because there is something we were unhappy with. An unexpected outcome, even if it is a nice one, can really trigger stuff, but you were already cutting yourself. You never should have had a surgical procedure.
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And fyi- don't be surprised if your blog title gets modified or parts of your review edited. This website does not typically support some of the thoughts, comments and feelings you've expressed because they are not equipped to handle such things, and do not want to perpetuate such actions or talk of self-harm. Good luck to you.
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I have changed the title of this review and yes you're right, I needed therapy years ago, but at the time I thought I could just get over it when infact my mentality worsened over time. My mum noticed this and I promised her I wouldn't do it again and I would get better and I've always pretended to act normal when my mind was torturing me. I thought I was old enough at 18 to take control of the situation but now I realise that I wasn't
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Sweety your nose is sooo nice!!! And it only Will get better! You nees to give it time, really!!! I also felt like You in the begin Just wait a bitt I really feel sorry that You feel like That Big Kiss
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Thank you for the support and I will give it time and then assess the result
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You're in Belgium?
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Or UK? If in London call 08457 90 90 90. http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us
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I'm in London
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I tried helplines but it doesn't seem to work, I don't think anyone can understand how I feel
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I think they will - call them.
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It costs to call them
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And what is the cost of your life? Tell your parents, a family member, a teacher, a friend.
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