Recovery

I have a wide bulbous tip and it droops when I...

I have a wide bulbous tip and it droops when I smile! It's horrid and it completely depletes my self esteem. I've been called pinocchio, rodent all sorts of things. I've even had a girl come up to me and ask - Why is your nose so big? I'm either going to London or Belgium to have my rhinoplasty. I have my consultation with Mr D'souza on the 28th of Feb (he's an ent surgeon) and my third consultation with dr noorman van der dussen on the 23rd of march. I shall update you guys.

Pictures

Pics of my current nose and simulations I made on my iphone

times passing by so slowww

More selfies in the meantime

consultation with alwyn d'souza

I just came back from a consultation with him and I feel like I want him to carry out my rhinoplasty. He seems to be skilled as rhinoplasty is his speciality being an ENT surgeon - he performs about 2-3 rhinoplasties a week. He showed me one picture of this asian lady who had a rhinoplasty and her implant tore through her skin and was visible on the exterior, he's going to do her rhinoplasty on monday, he does do a fair amount of revision surgeries from people who went to other surgeons. His fees are £4550 whilst Dr Noorman Van der Dussen is £3800 - a £750 pound difference. I don't consider that to be much of a difference as I haven't taken in flights and hotel into consideration if i were to go to Belgium. I'm persuaded to remain in london for my rhinoplasty, lemme just see how my consultation with dr noorman van der dussen goes in march.

consultation with dr noorman van der dussen

I booked my surgery on the 10th of july. I have good feelings about this surgeon because he talks your whole face into consideration, he also does revision rhinoplasty so that reflects upon his skills, i saw some of his work at the consultation and i liked what i saw.

Feel like shit.

I was crying earlier today - I feel so guilty and selfish for wanting a nose job. My mum has been living with her disability all her life. Why can't I just be happy with my flaw? My dad works so hard, how can I spend so much money on myself? But then I remember all the bullying, all the comments. How ugly I feel. How I cover my nose every time I laugh and smile - and how people mock me for that. I feel so bad, I don't know what to do, I just cry when i'm on my own and hope no one sees me. Don't know why i'm posting this, I just feel so worthless right now, I can't talk to anyone about this. I hate trying to act normal everyday. I hate feeling so guilty.. my parents deserved better than me.

does anyone else feel like this?

Items to prepare myself

I've bought a V shaped pillow, and I'm going to buy arnica so that I can start taking it a week prior to my surgery. What other items do you recommend me to buy to prepare myself?

Scared...

This girl had two nose job surgeries with him and she's still not satisfied.. (The review is in dutch). Generally the reviews for him are positive but I found this one.. I don't know what to do... Someone guide me

Runny nose

x_x I have a runny nose and my day of surgery is SOON. I don't have a sore throat or temperature, so I think it's just hay fever, I had some piriteze before I went out but I still have a bit of a runny nose. I don't know if i'm overly worrying, but I hope the surgery can still take place.

Will update and reply to comments when I come back on the 17th

My dad is crazy for letting me go abroad for rhinoplasty lol and i feel so awkward right now, can't believe I'm getting this done, feel a mixture of nervousness, fright and anxiousness. But if I don't get it done now, I will regret it. I hope everything goes smoothly :( mums freaking out and she's making me go to the temple to pray before I go

It's done

The hotel is very nice and the people here are so friendly! I remember when I got off the train and me and my dad were like...... Where have we landed?! luckily we found a cafe who ordered a taxi for us to our hotel - I'd recommend it to anyone who may consider surgery here, it's called euverbrake. The hospital itself was very clean and modern. Unfortunately the doctor was running late but he tells me he never rushes anything- it's the result that matters not the time. I trusted his vision on my future nose as he is an expert on proportions. Im in my hotel now and I don't have any discomfort apart from the blood leaking from my nose which I have to continuously clean up, I'm wondering why a drip pad wasn't placed

Can't sleep

I wrote so much initially but it didnt upload, oh how very annoying! I can't sleep:( it's 1:35am and my dad is snoring so much, I wish I could be in that position. I was in pain but it was bearable, just uncomfortable so I took medication. The pain has decreased but I have a headache and my eyes kinda hurt; let the swelling begin ! :( for some reason my left eye is swollen whilst my right eye is normal. Oh and my top lip is swollen too.

A picture speaks 1000 words

Please tell me it won't get worse. I can't open my left eye :(

-.-

I'm not going to lie. I'm a bit annoyed, why wasn't a drip pad placed.. I emailed his secretary and I'm going to go pick some up in the lovely state that I am

Nvm

The clinic might be closed no one is answering. Nvm.

Pics

Before + with cast

Idk

I like the side view he didnt change it too much and it doesn't droop and it's straight but I hate the tip I hope it changes with time. I was very depressed after surgery and dr nvdd called me up personally and told me not to worry and not obsess over it and to pick myself up and that we will meet after 2 months and if there's something I don't like it can be changed

Pics

Looks different in the car

different lighting

Looks different here

...

It's too pointy and still droops and the tip is so weird.. I wasted so much money. This was meant to make me happy but has given me more reason to feel depressed its all my fault

I hate myself

I don't eat I don't sleep I don't go out I don't want to do anything

I can't get up

I hear what you all are saying thanks for giving up your time to support me, it worked until I had to brush my teeth and look in the mirror. Now I'm back in bed, I can't get up. I know this is gross but I've been having diarrhoea because I haven't been eating properly (only a bit of coke/juice) here and there. I emailed a pyschiatrist, but she'll probably tell me to go to a centre or something and I can't go up to someone and explain my stupid problems. I want to feel normal, I really do. But I look like a rat, everytime I go out I keep repeating this to myself subconsciously. What should I do today?

Caption

^ read the caption under my pictures

..

I've booked an appointment with the gp and I'm going to calm myself down, stop looking in the mirror and apply for jobs. I will give it a few months to allow myself to adjust to the changes and I'm confident that dr nvdd is a good doctor and will admit when there is something wrong/something that needs to be adjusted. And I thank marjie and nvdd for putting up with me because tbh I am mental. Erm :) I think I'm an extreme case of post rhinoplasty depression but I need to pick myself up because this is my only life and I should make the most of it because there are people with worse conditions than me. I just don't know what happens to me.

Update

Pictures

update - need advice

Okay so the swelling has gone down considerably and I'm now content with the front though I still have a long way to go due to the thickness of my skin. the doctor told that he didnt change the length of my nose from the side view (although I thought it would be reduced from my pre surgery consultation) his reasoning was that he still wanted to give me an 'Indian' nose and that it wouldn't suit my face. However, I wish it was reduced and I also wish it was more upturned. It's still bothering me - should revise this?

Therapy

Btw I think therapy isn't worth it for me, it's hard to convey my feelings and I don't think anyone will understand. Also I was severely embarrassed when talking about my feelings to someone, felt a bit pathetic. I think the only person that can help me, is myself

pics

if you want to see pics, feel free to message me your email and ill send them to you
Dr Noorman van der dussen

I've seen Dr noorman van der dussen on two occassions and he's a very jolly man and he is extremely knowledgeable and since he's a female feminization surgeon, he knows the right proportions to sculpt my nose to fit my face. I have positive feelings towards him and probably will go along with him.

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