Disappointment - CA

I will try to update with pics as soon as possible...

I will try to update with pics as soon as possible but right now it is hard for me to take one without crying. I had my procedure a few weeks ago with a double board certified ENT/ Facial cosmetic surgeon. I decided on him after meeting with two other cosmetic surgeons. I had an open septoplasty/ turbinate reduction/ rhinoplasty with cartilage graft. My nose had been broken once before. My breathing is much improved from the procedure but the cosmetic outcome makes me wish I never did any of this. I went to my doctor based on a referral from a family friend who's cosmetic outcome was simply gorgeous. I then scheduled an appointment for consultation, and the doctor really seemed to know his stuff. He showed me his book full of pictures and the results were nice and natural looking. Being that his pictures looked good and I had the advantage of knowing someone who, 2 years after the procedure still looked great and was pleased with the outcome, I booked my surgery.

Recovery was tough on me because I am not a mouth breather, and I was lucky to sleep more than 15 minutes at a time due to waking up coughing with a dry throat. Aside from that, I did not have much pain or anything like that..

I had my cast removed over a week ago. When it came off my nose was all red and flaky and I did not really know what I was looking at face on, so I tired not to look at it too much. He showed me a glance from the side and I instantly thought "the bump is still there!" but really tried to just not judge yet. He put the tape on and I went home.

I was told I could take the tape off a few days later and continue to tape whenever I wish. I will tell you right now, this tape is staying on my face until I get a revision. I look far better with it on than off. I know, I know, maybe there is still swelling, I am not even a month out, yadda yadda.... my nose is CROOKED. Not uneven swelling, crooked. as in leaning way more to one side.

As I said before my nose was broken, so he did a cartilage graft to balance things out but all it did was make it big and make it lean. I had nothing done to the tip or my nostrils. This was supposed to be a "finesse" type rhinoplasty. my bridge is still high, crooked, and there was supposed to be a straight line but there is still a boney, non-swollen hump that then dips down towards my tip. I can see where he did the graft how I still feel/look swollen, but that considered, this is not a nice outcome, and if the swelling keeps going down it will honestly probably look worse and make the bump that is still crooked and big, more prominent. I only told a few people I had this done and I am embarrassed for them to see what I paid for. I don't want my fiancé to look at or touch me. I don't want to leave my house. I am normally a strong person and can take things into consideration, but I know this is not an "it will get better" situation. Others like me who have had a bad outcome knew something was wrong right away. Now I face the even more terrifying thought of a revision... which I don't even know how to deal with. Seriously disappointed.

1/2/13 After doing a little research and mulling...

1/2/13
After doing a little research and mulling it over, the initial shock and disappointment has subsided quite a bit. I have decided the World is not ending. I posted originally right after seeing that this bump will not go away by itself. But the more I have looked into it, I would revise that review to a "not sure". Nobody goes into this wanting/ expecting to have to have more fine tuning done afterwards. I realize after talking it over with my hunny & family that yes, there are still areas to be improved but it is better. Apparently septum shifting back to its original place happens, and isn't necessarily the fault of the surgeon. It's nature. It is unfortunate I had a residual bump but I am not alone with that. This is something that also can happen and from what I read can be resolved as soon as 6 months out. At least it was not over-scooped. This also does not mean my surgeon was incompetent. I placed a call to him and we will discuss the next step but I realize I had a complicated nose, and I could have had this outcome with even the best of doctors. I have high hopes and anticipate him to be more than understanding and to help me through this and want to further remedy this not only for myself, but his already wonderful reputation. This is just the reality of what can happen with this type of surgery. Good luck and best wishes to all! Will update again, soon :)

So to catch all up to speed, swelling has...

So to catch all up to speed, swelling has subsided, and I dislike it more and more. I know, everyone is all about seeing pics and I know I prefer a review with pics but I am sorry.... if I was happy or satisfied in any way I would, but I am so upset over it that it just is not going to happen. For people in my area who want to pm for pictures I could probably arrange that. But if I go posting on my review, well I might as well post naked pictures, too. That's how I feel.

My surgeon doesn't really know what he can do for it, which I am on the one hand glad he expressed because if he has no confidence in himself than I don't either. While it is sad I can no longer trust him, better than for him to lie and I end up with a bigger disaster. On the other hand it is so unacceptable to me that he has no real explanations. In regards to the residual hump, he said "I don't know if fixing it would even be worth it". I wanted to yell "WORTH IT TO WHO?!" Because OBVIOUSLY it is worth it to me. I'd maybe bear it if it even resemled my old natural bump before I broke it, but this is a completely different looking one. My nose still looks broken... the only real change was the sides were narrowed. Only one side was narrowed in too much to where the side bone sits under the top bone instead of joining it smoothly... giving me a real nice dent. It still leans, and I see no attempt was actually made to straighten my septum. I had a nasal valve collapse prior to surgery from a break that I thought he would address being that he said he was going to use spreader grafts... well he totally ignored where it was really needed. He said he didn't put any where the collapse was because then my nose would look too big... I'm sorry but I thought this was about achieving balance? So the narrowed sides now emphasize the collapse. This is why, even though lots of docs don't like computer imaging, it would have been helpful in this case because I would have a visual of his intent not to fix my collapse, and I wouldn't have gone to him.

Not a day goes by that I am not depressed over it. It is ruining my life right now and my relationship. I never liked my nose to begin with but I never sought surgery until I literally broke it. I figured that it made sense to fix something broken. I researched doctors for longer than most do, and this still happened to me. So just know, no matter how much of your homework you do, you could still end up unhappy and the end result could be very hard on you psychologically. I did my best to be patient and have hope in all of this even though I was unhappy since cast removal, but I can't pretend anymore. I'd even take my broken nose over this one, because at least I didn't pay for that one. I wish the best of luck to everyone on their journey of trying to be satisfied with their reflection.

You any of you out there who are or have suffered...

You any of you out there who are or have suffered through a bad surgery/outcome.... how do you cope? Do you have a mix of good & bad days? Can you get through work ok? I am currently looking for work and find it very hard to muster up the courage to go on interviews looking how I do. I doubt my nose looks like a botched nose job to strangers, probably more like I got into a horrible accident. I am lucky enough to have not bumped into any friends or acquaintances since this happened, and I pray to God that I don't ever until this gets fixed. It sucks to hide, though. There are some family members I really don't want seeing me either. I have absolutely no life now. It's hard to even want to get up every day. I only leave the house to do what I absolutely have to. And yes, I have seen a therapist about how to cope with it but it is still the biggest challenge of my life! My mom tries to tell me it is not so bad and so does my significant other but it is just to make me feel better. I have a mirror, I have a camera. I can look at myself objectively and it no question looks worse then my broken nose and if someone knew I paid to have this done.... that this is a rhinoplasty, they wold probably be very surprised that this was someone's attempt at fixing it.

I am just so upset I did this to myself and wonder if I am pushing my luck having this grotesque mess fixed. You can't even expect a good outcome when you know someone personally who got a great nose from the same surgeon... it is very sad!

Any people out there with good revision stories? It is almost impossible to find any. I want to have hope but then wonder how I would feel just going through more surgeries, only to end up looking even more disfigured. I truly can't believe this even happened to me! In no way could I have ever been prepared. I tried so hard to be positive even though I knew when the cast came off it was a mistake to have done this. I have been so strong and put on my "big girl" panties dozens of times and I just can't anymore. Especially since the surgeon did all but shrug his shoulders at me the last time I saw him. I am so angry that I trusted this person and had faith in him. I truly thought he would not be a doctor that conducted himself that way but that's when you see who you are REALLY dealing with.... when things go WRONG. I know it was elective but there should still be cases where it is acceptable to be reimbursed when something elective and cosmetic goes BAD. In nothing that I signed did it say that a risk could be looking like a victim of some freak accident. I can't help but be mad at myself for thinking I deserved to have something broken fixed. I disliked my nose before it was broken and had several opportunities to have it operated on, but didn't. I learned to find things I liked about it as I got older. But of course when I broke it and couldn't breathe anymore, it made sense to me to try to look more "normal" again. I am sorry for the rant but I just feel like a fool.... a fool for trying to be positive and say maybe this was a problem with healing and not my surgeon's mistake and a fool for thinking he would be able to just fix whatever he screwed up... a fool for even attempting to have a normal looking nose. I do have some ok days where I don't feel like this the whole day, but today is not one of them. I guess I am just looking for some hope from people who have had revisions, because I don't want this looking like a bigger train wreck than it already does :(

Just a small update, the side of my nose that was...

Just a small update, the side of my nose that was overly narrowed (bone moved in too far) is now getting to where it is starting to obstruct my breathing. It is collapsed inward and upon a deeper inspiration, closes off. The nasal bone is narrowed in so close that it is all but flat against my septum. If I pull on my cheek beside my nose and breath, it feels how it did on that side before surgery and also pulls the skin into it's original normal looking position... I just don't get why the Hell he did this to me. Keep in mind I have a nasal collapse on the opposite side that he just left there, and when my deviated septum was corrected, the new found air flow on that side causes that nostril to suck inward. It is sad that this gets more depressing by the day and I truly hope there is a good, HONEST, caring doctor who can deliver what I believe have always been realistic expectations. I really need to start hearing some great revision stories right about now. I need some real hope!

*I will also add, while I am so happy for all of...

*I will also add, while I am so happy for all of the positive reviews on here, I really cannot help but feel jealous sometimes. It's hard not to blame yourself when things go wrong. I just wish I had a happy story on here, too! Maybe one day.

Looking for "Mr. Right".

So, another little update... I received some before and afters I requested from my surgeon's office. They arrived. What a joke. Literally the same broken nose I went in with only with a bigger hump that is narrowed in on both sides, making the hump larger. Oh and of course the added dented in bone creating a solid straight line down my whole nose. So weird looking. Of course my "afters" were only a month out and not depicting my now de-swelled sides of my nose where there is some collapse. Truly a joke to me. I am trying to tell myself that for revision it is basically the same nose that will be worked with... all though the surgeon said "I couldn't take any more out of your nose" which kind of scared me to even hear, he said that when he was perplexed over this hump I still have. So I think he meant he was sure the bump was reduced as much as possible, though clearly that is not the case. It is as if he took the broken hump I went in with and smoothed the sides of it, left it still tall (or I developed a calcification or I dunno what) then narrowed me side bones, creating an even TALLER nose/bump. I am really hoping it can be restored to a natural state, as I just want to look normal. I have never had outlandish expectations or wanted to look like someone else. I just wanted to look like "me" before my nose broke, how I appeared when I was in "good" lighting. Now there is no good lighting, as this tall narrow nose looks pinched and any overhead lighting just makes me want to crawl under a rock.

So, I am still actively looking into revision. I would like to look in to Dr. Kim, who I have since met with and he would like me to come back in the near future when I am closer to revision time. I liked him very much. He was quite humble and straight forward and the quote did not seem outrageous, as well as he did not give me the impression that my case is a total doozy. I would also like to meet with Dr. Most, and the jury is still out on who my third doctor to meet with will be. I might meet with more than that, but those are the ones at the top of my list and who my surgeon referred me to after scratching his head. I will also add, that when I requested the photos I let his assistant know, since she had inquired, about my whole ordeal. She is a sweet lady and I am sure she passed the message along about me saying how my nose is now collapsing. I was surprised that he has not reached out and called. Even though I am not confident in his abilities to fix my situation in particular, I would still expect some concern for something like that happening. At the same time, I know it is time to just move on from that whole relationship... I held out hope for a long time as you can see in my prior entries, but when a surgeon doesn't know what to do or says they don't think removing a bigger looking hump than what you went in with would be "worth it", you know they won't be giving you their all. In the beginning he came across as having great bedside manner, but as previously stated, you don't really know who you are dealing with until something goes wrong.

So, I have started a little journal over in the revision rhinoplasty section. It can be discouraging in that section at times. I come across many that have had 2+ revisions and are just beside themselves with grief, and I am really concerned that it could be me, also. I am really trying to wrap my head around having another surgery. I relate this experience to going through a soul-crushing breakup. I thought I had found "the one", but my heart has been totally broken and shattered and I am feeling ugly and worthless. Now I have to find the strength to get back out there and move on so I can find the "right one for me", while trying not to be bitter and think that they are "all the same". I hope the next one was meant to be and that I live happily ever after :) I am searching for my surgeon soul mate!!! Dreams do come true sometimes, right?

A realization

I am realizing the hardest thing is learning how to carry myself with this nose. I believe this is due to the fact that it is very unpredictable and always looks different due to the major inconsistencies regarding cemetery. I have a couple of decades learning how to work my best angles, and now there truly aren't any and it makes me feel so awkward. Being that one side is so caved in, it's almost as if my nose curls over slightly, kind of like an ocean wave. There is just no way to know at any given time how it might look and it distorts my other features. I go to looking at photos of my nose, before rhinoplasty and before I broke it -which only slightly enlarged my natural hump- and I can't help but mourn the loss of that face. I'd even take the broken version. This nose is just too different from who I am and does not enhance a single thing, just makes parts of my face look hollow and just bad. I feel like I need miracle worker!

Ear cartilage for collapse & long term results

With all that is going on with my nose post-rhinoplasty, the issue that concerns me most is the collapse I have and I worry about the sustainability of grafts to stabilize my nostril & valve collapse. The internet can be comforting one moment and the next, knock the wind out of your sails. I feel that this will be the most challenging aspect of my surgery, but also one that could greatly improve my aesthetic appearance if it ends up working. I would love to see anyone at least a year + out from this type of repair, as I see on other surgery forums that things will look great after surgery, then collapse worse than before. This scares me. Worse than having my nose look like crap instantly after revision would be for it to look great, only to have it collapse years down the road. Is this just a temporary fix? It is too bad that surgeons could have these great before and after pictures of rhinoplasty revision, but those same noses very well may not have held up over time. Very troubled over it : /

Doctor appointment today

Went to a doctor appointment I had scheduled today to get an ENT referral, that way I can get a professional diagnosis of my situation from someone not interested in making money off of me.

I did get the referral, and though not an ENT, the doctor I saw did examine my nose and told me yes indeed, my bone on one side is so narrow (the surgeon tapered it to where it curves inward, not straight) that she can see why I cannot breath properly, and that I have collapses on both sides as well as a deviated septum. The septal deviation is an aesthetic one; I don't feel my septum is causing a breathing issue.

It felt nice to be validated but at the same time, made me angry all over again. I told the doctor how it is sad that I trusted this doctor just for the fact that I knew a girl that got her bump removed without an apparent issue (he did not break her nose), and the doctor responded with "We are human beings who deserve the right to breath. People make me so sick".

Although I am disappointed with how it looks, breathing is the most important thing, and funny enough is the fact that if he preserved my breathing, my nose would loo far nicer- save for the residual hump. Function should never be sacrificed for form, yet I got neither. His twisted idea of aesthetics gave me a bad look and worse breathing. Unbelievable!

An observation....

To prospective rhinoplasty patients, please take the "Worth It" percentage on this site with a grain of salt. I say this because so many people, either when they get their cast removed or a month or two later when swelling goes down, refer to the procedure as being worth it. It may very well be so up to that point, but I have seen several reviews on here start out as "worth it" and end up with problems a couple of months out. Sometimes people change their worth it rating at that point, but some don't. My point being, during this "worth it" phase where things appear to be fine because swelling is hiding issues, many people are looking and considering the same surgeon or procedure, or were hesitant to book an appointment yet a result makes them feel confident with that surgeon.... Just know that 1. Results can and will vary and 2. The "One Year" period is a very real time frame for healing and any nose you are looking at that has been operated on sooner than that could have some problems you just can't see yet. Before and afters can be great but make sure you really scrutinize a surgeon's in-office photos and make sure you clarify with the doctor when the "afters" were taken. See if any of those patients that look good in their afters have made themselves available for future patients to contact. You want this surgery to last, trust me! I realize even years later a nose can collapse or have other issues and you will never know 100% how things will end up down the road, but do try to minimize your odds any way possible.

I decided to, for a limeted time,

at least post my base view of my nose. I know it might be hard for some to understand why I would not want to post all of my horrible pictures so that I can really drag the surgeon who did this to me through the dirt, but it is hard because I am still living with it. I post those pictures, and it becomes an even harsher reality. So it really is for my own mental well being right now. If I ever get on the other side of this and come out happy, I will then gladly reveal the physical evidence of the misery I am going through. Until then, it is humiliating and I am completely living it. So I thought I would at least show a base view of one of my issues. The before pic is from in-office, and funny enough when I requested my before and afters, the after base view was missing. Oh well, I can take my own. So it is my very true statement that the "after" taken on my webcam is from today, and a result of surgery. I did a fabulous job of blacking my eyes out, lol. Anyway, remember that this is one of many issues but the only photos I am comfortable with sharing. My septum/right nostril (your left view) was only slightly misaligned and had no impact on my breathing before surgery. My upper septum impacted my breathing but not the deviation in the mid portion of my nose (which is now VERY crooked, especially on a normal frontal view!). Not only did he not attempt to correct it (per my operative reports) but the problem was greatly magnified. Though the back part of my septum initially improved breathing, as my swelling went down, that collapsed nostril sucks in upon inspiration and impairs my breathing even worse now.... so the one thing he "fixed" I call a wash with this created problem. The third picture you will see is a picture of me breathing in, my right (your left) nostril collapsing as it never did before, and what you won't really be able to see is the middle vault collapse on my left side which further closes off when I am breathing in. I apologize for the low quality web cam pics but I do believe they still depict some of my problems. Cosmetic issues aside, coming out of this with additional breathing issues has been a major headache, literally.

Let me remind you....

there was no "tip work" performed or agreed to, every surgeon including him agreed I had a nice nasal tip not to be messed with so there was no nostril or tip reduction done.

It is so interesting

how I came across some online services that go around and get surgeon's negative reviews deleted online. My negative reviews on pages for my surgeon always end up disappearing! "Reviews and open information on sites like Vitals.com can be frustrating and difficult to manage and get rid of. That’s why ******************.com has developed techniques and state of the art software which can help you protect your online reputation and branding. When you have a healthy brand full of positive reviews and positive online information, then you can do what you do best – run your business effectively. With our Proven System you can see tangible results immediately because we understand how valuable time is when your online reputation has been tarnished." Think twice about all of those flawless, glowing reviews, folks.

If you ever write a negative review of your surgeon and NAME them....

Just know that you will be bullied, have scare-tactics pulled on you, your reviews on Doctor review sites will get either deleted, or there will responses from patients within days of your reviews... oh, their surgery was three years ago and all of the sudden they are searching their surgeons reviews online to try to defend them? They wait three years and happen to review two days after you did? They state how their experience was anything but yours, and so you must be a liar. Highly indicative of these doctors contacting sites to delete the negatives and them or their assistants making sure a good review is on top.

I am done doing favors for anyone. If he botches your nose, sorry I couldn't warn you. I don't get to have a voice. Join the club. I have never named him on here but I will continue to in private e-mails to people I believe are real because I believe in people making informed choices. My conclusions are, this industry is WHACK, and based on my first-hand accounts of my negative reviews getting deleted and getting bullied... and now upon searching my surgeon is just flawless again (makes me wonder how many others get bullied into not having a VOICE) I really have lost faith in any surgeons. If not the reviews, if not the one person you know who had a fortunate result, how are you to choose a surgeon? On a gut feeling? That didn't work either. I am glad for those who got a great surgery because their doc was not having a bad day. Truly. I am done trying to save others. These surgeons can be as superficial as the procedures they sell. The whole business is about appearances and looking a certain way, and some will stop at nothing to defend their reputation. You can post all the fake great reviews you want and those will always stay but the negative ones get removed. It is so sick that people really have no way of knowing who they are dealing with and I am not trusting these surgeons and their assistants who have nothing but free time to put countermeasures in place. Why would a successful surgeon have the time or even care to defend their reputation? I have time to complain because a botched surgery will destroy any self-esteem you had and cause you to be house-bound until you can come to terms with your change for the worse. Good luck, all.

Well realself reminded me to update, so....

I guess I will check in with anyone interested.

I am actually growing increasingly doubtful that my case will be fixable to my liking. It is hard to trust and I know I wish with ever fiber of my being to take back that day that I had surgery. When I look back at it I see a poor girl waiting to be taken to the chopping block like an animal on an assembly line. It makes me ill. So to think I could be taking that risk again is quite terrifying, yet so is living with this awful, horrible mess that surgeon gave me. Like I mentioned before he is a no-name really, and has gone to many lengths to persuade me from making any claims with his name attached to it so I can only imagine how the "bigger" doctors there are to consult with would behave. The surgeons I have looked into that are supposed to be great have some sketchy reviews, and I'll leave it at that.

I don't want to go in and have someone make a promise or overshoot their abilities in their own mind in regard to my case. I don't want someone to look at me and think to themselves "never taken that on but heck, why not? I'm sure I could fix it". Yeah, no thanks. Pretty sure that's what the first surgeon did. I don't need a surgeon looking at my nose as a new experimental thing to work on and play a little trial and error with, because as us revision patients know- if it goes well, yay! If not, they will do everything to shut you up and appease you (it's just swelling! don't look at it! did you do the nose exercises that I never mentioned until now? come back and talk to me after your year of immense depression) until you have a breakdown and hate them so much that you'll never see them again. They don't think about your botch job or care if you just go away. They don't feel an immense need to right their wrongs. After all, you signed tht little paper. And when that all happens, you are not a patient factored into their own revision rate that they'll tell other patients is 2-5%. You will not be in the before and afters. To all newcomers, you don't exist. Therefore, you are not some problem or example of what could go wrong. Patients don't see how a doctor is capable of ruining your face, they just get to imagine a prettier picture of a patient needing a little "touch up". None of them have to revise a nose they did, only a "touch-up" they'll say, as if you are filling in a chipped nail at the salon. And it's only been one or two. All of us that break that relationship, disappear in the numbers. So think about that. I wish they had a second book, full of their mistakes. If I had to imagine what that book looks like for a lot of surgeons, I never would have considered this procedure.

That's pretty much all I have to say, sorry so glum but being that I have heard two sides online- that my nose is sooo fixable, and then others say not really. It's a tug of war every day and never in my life did I need intensive therapy until now. So factor $600 a month for some undefinable length of time to your potential rhinoplasty costs. And to clarify, it is not therapy because my problem is "in my head", it is just really hard to get over trauma from falling asleep trusting someone and waking up destroyed. I have to learn how to accept something I never ever ever ever signed up for. So if I am saying I would take not just my birth nose, but my very broken nose over this one, that is saying a lot. Surely nobody could have "made this nose worse". I have to say anytime I see a person on hear use that phrase, I cringe, because you just have no idea.

Just a note about something I noticed

while researching revisions.... I came across a scenario I have endured myself and thought I'd share, knowing what I know now. Someone wrote a ripoff report of a surgeon, detailing their awful experience. The former patient was not bashing, just accounting for the surgeons perceived bedside manner, and going over their individual poor results. Go on to the next review, and it is a glowing one. This is all well and good and could have been credible, until I noted the tone...

The glowing review was not particularly detailed in the patients first hand experience, but actually extremely defensive, and opens immediately with a few sentences addressing the "bad" review, and pretty much attacking that review.... How they are "shocked" and how the reviewer "is not talking about the same surgeon". Why? Because that was not THEIR experience, so surely the person with the bad experience is nuts or trying to sabotage a doctor's reputation for recreational purposes! Then it closes with how they would "recommend the doctor for ANY and ALL procedures".... even though they allegedly only had a rhinoplasty! So just fyi, it is not smart to take advice on how you should get a boob job from a surgeon because they did a great job on a reviewer's nose. Not only do I feel I have the initial common sense to smell the B.S., but it especially stuck a chord in me, being that I experienced this exact scenario several weeks ago.... Literally the exact formula of the review I just read a bit ago. Everything was the same. This is a glaring pattern that is going on and I though it is quite obvious what is really happening (I'll let you figure it out), I thought would highlight this déjà vu situation that I just encountered.

A REAL happy review will state their experience and their experience only! Why attack someone because they did not share your good fortune? It does not add up if we were to assume that these reviews are REAL. Because, if you look at all of us with negative reviews, we do not dismiss the happy ones! We just say "I guess I was unlucky! Sucks for me and I don't get it!" Who am I to attack someone's real experience? I have stated many times in different forums and to other people that I know someone with a SUPERB result from the same surgeon, which is especially why I feel a duty to warn others that you just *might* end up with a bad result even under such circumstances! I'd never disbelieve someone's good experience unless their review addresses mine, or implies I must be trying to ruin a surgeon's business or mentions any "bad" review.... which is exactly what I have experienced when I have reviewed my surgeon on other sites.

And if somehow these morons are for real, and actual patients... how silly do they still sound? Let me ask, if someone goes to a restaurant and has bad food or service and yelps about it, but you ate at the same restaurant two years ago and had the best night ever, would you go on there and write a review calling out anyone who had a bad experience after your visit and say they must be lying... surely they did not eat at that restaurant, because their experience was not like yours! Just think about how silly that would be, and remember that when you see some patient going out of their way to defend a surgeon to the death. Food for thought.

Just thought I'd mention-

to anyone looking into "Rhinoplasty", do not forget to scroll through the treatment sections and also look at the "Nose Surgery" section as well as the "Septoplasty" section. There are quite a few reviews in those sections and they both pertain to rhinoplasty. Don't miss out on those reviews because you could find some very useful information! I know I overlooked those categories when I was first using this site.

Maybe....

if it was easier to sue careless doctors, they would be more realistic with what they can and can't do for patients. Is it a gamble? Yes. But do any of them put under risks the fact that you might come out looking worse, suffer from depression, have a loss of identity and lose your social life? Obviously risks are there, and it is common knowledge that you are taking a chance, but maybe some doctors feel a little too protected and don't look at a nose and say "I have all the confidence that I can deliver on the proposed changes", but instead say "I'll give it a shot, won't effect me either way because I get to keep the money". When they are cutting your face open, they've already cashed your check. There are great surgeons who will turn down cases, and I was not a difficult one. The fact that I was so "realistic" and wanting "natural results" made my "finesse" rhinoplasty results so easily attainable. He had NO idea what he was doing, rest assured, or it would not have taken FOUR HOURS to do what someone could do with a baseball bat in a split second. I really think an hour of that was him sitting there picking his own nose. Sad how his bedside manner up until cast off was wonderful, and then bam.... no answers, no nothing. Yes, I'm still bitter.

I really wish

that the description of the Revision Rhinoplasty description on this site would be updated to reflect the more common truth. It simply states revision rhinoplasty as a procedure that may be needed if "improper healing" occurs, which is really placing blame on the patient when in most cases we know it is due to a surgeon's error. "When your nose heals improperly from an original rhinoplasty" and "Revision rhinoplasty addresses improper healing from nose surgery." I don't feel this is an accurate description of the majority of cases that require revision. My nose isn't responsible for what it looks like now, the surgeon's incompetence and lack of judgement is.

Though I am no longer on a mission to help people avoid this surgery....

I thought I would just update how I have been feeling. Still quite depressed. I am in counseling and some days I can push through and handle it and be optimistic, and other days, I simply cannot. All it takes is me taking a face-on camera shot with the flash on, to really want to die. I'm not exaggerating.... yes, there are many times I simply wish not to be here. That is where a bad rhinoplasty can take you- to your most darkest of places. I look at myself and feel extreme shame, worthlessness, and pray every single day that I never see anyone I know. I have managed to avoid any run-ins, but for how long? I actually consider moving out of state all of the time. I even avoid my significant other's family, and my own family. I avoid my siblings at all costs, even though I miss them terribly. I can't look them in the eye. I can't look anyone in the eye, really.

I just am having a hard time believing my nose could ever be in the realm of normalcy. Yes, I know.... miracles happen, there are great surgeons and before and afters.... but where are the updated before and afters from doctors? You can bet my surgeon does not have any of me, and if he did he surely would not show them. But I even worry about stellar before and afters for revisions, when I can't see what they look like now, or what they will look like.
The internet and media keeps me especially embarrassed. I can't go one day logging on without seeing someone being made fun of. Whether it is on social forums, or in the news, people get torn apart and I see how viciously people treat and think of other people. If I walk past people and I hear laughter, I automatically make it about me. I have NEVER felt this way before, ever. I was brimming with confidence even with my natural imperfections. I feel like a shell of myself. I cannot connect with myself or this face whatsoever. I can't carry myself with it. I fear it will get so much worse, which is like being stuck between the Devil and the deep blue sea. Choose door number one, and I live with a God-awful nose and if I ever see anyone they'll wonder what the Hell I did to myself- even though it was really a surgeon who did this to me, society will not view it that way. Choose door number two, and it either looks bad or worse out the gate OR, even if it looks nice- good luck enjoying it! Who knows how it will change down the line. It feels never-ending; and eternity of pain, suffering, and worrying. This is my personal Hell everyday and I have always had immense strength, but my will has been so broken. So yes, there are days when opting out of this World seems like the superior option. Of course I know that is not true, blah blah blah, but until you have been here- literally gone to sleep expecting an improvement in your life, and then wake up for a terror-filled ride that gets worse by the second -you really just can't fathom what it does to your psyche.

Happy New Year!

Hey everyone... just checking in here. I hope everyone is having a wonderful new year!

Well, it has been a year + since the day I still wish I could take back. I really wish we could get do-overs with certain things in life!

I have been really trying to zero in on what I would like to accomplish with a revision. I do not want some miraculously perfect nose... never did, I just wanted to be in the realm of "normalcy", and my primary surgery placed me several steps farther away from it, rather than closer as I had hoped. I know we all have things in life where we must finally reach a point and say "That's life! I've been dealt a bad hand- time to suck it up and move on!". I have had many situations where that was the case and I did move on from things. This particular issue seems to be here to stay though. I think it is because no matter how I can get my mind to want to move on, I still see myself. I still feel uncomfortable even on a subconscious level. I am still scared of seeing anyone aside from family that remember what I looked like before. I am scared they will see a difference and notice it is not a good one. People tend to place blame on the person who got the bad procedure and not the surgeon who did it. I know some people get obsessed but I promise I never was, nor will I ever have any other cosmetic surgery after my nose... but for anyone to think my vision of my prior self was so distorted, that I went in and requested this thinking it was better, would crush me. I would never request to look like this. I can do a lot to hide other flaws, and I can hide many personal failures, but as for this I feel like I am wearing a failure on my face. It signifies an astronomical mistake to me, a visible one. It is not a bad hair cut, and people can even be unforgiving and relentless about that... which is temporary and usually will grow back the same. I fortunately have not had any run-ins with people I fear judgement from, but it is hard spending a life hiding.

All I can hope for, is that it can be repaired to a state that I am comfortable living with. My expectations have changed much since I first realized what a mistake I had made in my choice for a surgeon and maybe even the procedure altogether. I now have a better idea of what I will be agreeing to trade off, for the improvements that *may* happen with a secondary rhinoplasty. I am more willing to forgo fixing things about it that more than just upset me, in order to get the other parts fixed. You have to remember that this can be a situation where you might need a second surgery. I never got a breast augmentation because I did not want to fuss with "rotating the tires", and yet here I am in a similar situation.... needing a follow up procedure that is more than double the cost of the first (and a hundred times the cost, emotionally!) and won't leave me as "normal" looking as I did before any of this. Devastating is surely an understatement. I really wish the surgeon I went with had taken the "less is more" approach that he had used with other patients. I really just don't know why this happened and it was not a case of "improper healing". He plain and simple went on a bone removal spree.

I try to look at what I do have to value, that I am more than just my nose and my family loves and supports me. I also have an excellent therapist who helps me to snap out of it and proceed with life as a normal person. I have good and bad days, and honestly more bad than good, but every day I try to view as a success because I survived it.... even if I did so by locking myself inside and crying all day. It really is a grieving process.

I have looked at old photos, before the break I had that lead to the rhinoplasty, to see if there is some trace left of my old self in me now. I desperately try to connect with that person. If I look in the mirror and picture my old self, and try to picture me with a similar nose to that one, I get excited about a revision. However, I know that I will never ever have my original nose back... but I would love my next procedure to be inspired by it. We shall see.

I have not really consulted because truth is, I don't have the funds and even meeting with surgeons is costly. I also am understandably just scared and untrusting. I try to remind myself that I am in control with this, it will happen when I am ready and not a second sooner. It truly is a battle every single day to recognize myself again.

Well, thanks for reading. When I am really down, I try to remember all of you- my revision buddies in the same boat, struggling to get through the day along with me, my pre-rhinoplasty friends who I hope make sure to do some soul-searching along with their research, and my post-rhinoplasty & post-revision friends that made it through to the other side feeling happy and complete.... you really inspire me to hold on to hope, which ultimately is what keeps me going. I truly appreciate you all.

Hi, all!

Hope everyone is enjoying the Spring season we just started.

I just thought I would give a quick update....

Things are still up and down. I am truly just trying to take things one day at a time... it's what's best for me. Some days I can muster up the confidence, sort of a "fake it 'til you make it" attitude, other days I feel very saddened. Sometimes I experience both feelings within the same day. I try to acknowledge and embrace the sadness with the hug it needs, rather tan just try to push it away. So anyone out there who had a bad surgery outcome... try it. You may find it passes easier when you allow yourself to feel down. I have always tried to power through things and would think it unacceptable to dwell, but you have to acknowledge your emotions. Can you tell I am still in therapy? ;)

I have been on some consults but am by no means rushing into anything. I am well past a year but I want to make a choice out of it feeling right, not out of being needy. I must say, on some of the consults I have been on, I have felt more cared for and considered than with my primary surgeon. So I like that doctors are trying to be realistic with me and handle my situation delicately. This is a good sign to me, because I have not come across anyone making promises or claiming it will be a breeze and they can make all of my dreams come true. I have been realistic from the start.

In the meantime, I have been trying to get out more in nature and take full advantage of any sunny day that comes along. I try to be present so that I can be more enjoyable for others to be around. It can be challenging, and frustrating to feel like your "vanity" could be dragging others down. Of course it is more than vanity, but all someone hears is you griping about how you look. It can be obnoxious and tiresome for others to sit through because they feel powerless and unable to reassure you. So I try to talk less about it with those I am close to.

Well, nothing else terribly noteworthy; though I would love to hear from you all. Anyone out there gearing up for a revision? Anyone post revision? I try to interact with most other reviews on here and be encouraging while also reminding people to take surgery, any surgery, seriously. But if you are reading this, feel free to comment or PM and let me know how you are handling the surgery you are having/ have had. Good luck to everyone!

Well I was reminded to update yet again...

so I figured I would.

Not much has changed with the state of my nose, but much has changed with the state of my mind. I finally started to put my foot down harder with dealing with my nose and self image and worries of others' perceptions. I am finally getting to a place where I look in the mirror and recognize myself a bit again, because I am recognizing myself on the inside. I have been searching for this for so long now. I highly recommend a book to all of you, especially those suffering with a bad result, who may feel some post traumatic issues arising. It's called Hardwiring Happiness, by Rick Hanson. This book explains a lot of what my therapist has touched on with me... how negative thought processes get hardwired into our neurological structure, how we are predisposed to seeing the negative, and how to pull yourself out of it with new ways of thinking and experiencing the good moments in life.

So therapy, books, and getting comfortable around family and friends again has done wonders for me. My nose is not perfect, it's not what I want it to be.... but it is mattering less and less. And I hope these realizations just continue to take deeper and deeper root within me. So now my quest is all about getting back on track with my life. Unfortunately....

Soon after feeling more enlightened and stable with myself, I went to the doctors for some random issue. While there, I did a women's well check, and unfortunately a lump was found in my breast. This has sort of sent me into a frenzy and triggered some major anxiety within me. I go for ultrasound next week. Many try to reassure me... it's probably just a cyst or something of the sort. This type of cancer is foreign to my family. But I can't help but prepare myself for the worst (another thing that book talks about) because I'd rather get kicked while I am already down, unfortunately. So, this is the next challenge in my life. I need for everything to turn out ok, because I really finally felt myself just starting to live again, and I don't wish to be derailed. But it is a reality many people face, and who ever is truly prepared? So I just have to try to wait and not make myself suffer before I really have something to be troubled over. But that is so hard to do.

I hope everyone is doing well! Remember your health, remember the people you love, remember what used to be fun, try to reconnect. Find a new hobby, even if it is one you do by yourself. I just got into gardening, myself. It puts me in touch with what feels nurturing and honest. Plants won't judge you, and its the perfect time of year to get a green thumb :) Hugs to all of you.

Something interesting

I don't know who out there ever watches Dr. Phil, but I had recorded on my DVR an episode from yesterday, about a lovely girl with crippling OCD over her looks. Almost instantly upon starting the show, I'd realized I recognized her. I was almost certain she was a revision rhinoplasty patient I had come across, of Dr. Rizk. Sure enough, getting into the episode she said her OCD really surfaced after a bad primary nose job she had as a teenager. She had even had a revision after that, before her most recent. And she still is not happy with it. My point is, had I not recognized her from the before and afters, I would have never known she had several bad surgeries. I would never see the flaws she sees because this girl is indeed gorgeous... but so understandably pained on the inside.... understandably I say, because I know some of us have been there. She even was housebound for years and can't stand anyone to look at her. But I just see a pretty girl that I am even envious of. So the point here is, no matter how bad your perceived flaws are, people are not seeing it quite how you do. To think this girl has had precious time spent on OCD and BDD is tragic. And it'd be tragic for anyone.

Ever notice how....

"Worth It" ratings are now colored green, "Not Sure" is colored yellow, and "Not Worth It" is colored.... grey. Why not Red?! Too discouraging? The grey really does blend in. It's interesting to me, haha ;)

Well just discussing that with a Realself buddy. Anyhoo, scans came back all clear! For a fleeting moment I thought, maybe they just didn't look hard enough! But I instantly pulled myself back in and allowed myself to bask in the relief. Good things are ALLOWED to happen to me, I have to remember this :)

And on the nose front.... hmm. Still the same. Don't love it, bad days here and there, but then I remember the most recent good day and ask myself "what changed?" The answer? Only my perspective. So I think of what would make me feel good and worthy and nurtured and I do it. I still get sad, but I make time for it and then try to make time for other things as well. If I need to cry myself to sleep, ok. But not every. single. day. I think it is easier to handle with the green light from prospective surgeons and the "ball in my court". It helps to feel I have a bit more control in the matter now.

I hope you all enjoyed your weekend!
xx

An "off" day

Hi everyone, just checking in. I am having an off day, a day that is harder to cope with the choice I made and deep regret/ rejection of "my" own reflection. I say "my" because this just does not look anything like me. There was no payoff whatsoever in this procedure for me. Sorry for the doom & gloom, I know I have good days where I soldier through, but it just is not one of those days, and sometimes I do need to wallow in the sheer misery. It has been 18 months since surgery and I have all of the same initial regrets and more. And of course, a lot of anger. I really don't know if the most successful revision money could buy could pull me out of this. And I mean a realistic "most successful" revision, not some fantasy dream one. The fact of the matter is, I have a very undesirable baseline to work with, and the *one* thing I absolutely cannot stand nor can I live with, can NOT be corrected. So that is why I feel even if we try to "normalize" everything else, it will not be enough for me. It is not fixing the most unnatural part.... so is that worth a $14,000 - $16,000 revision with rib graft and ear graft? I really don't know. I only know there are no promises, that the one promise is the most wretched part to me cannot be remedied, and everything else is a gamble once again. But some days I feel such utter anguish, days when I am not able to keep busy, and such deep remorse and detachment from what I look like now, that I almost out of desperation am willing to give it a go. I hold back because no choice should be made out of desperation. I am praying for a better day soon, but it just is not today.

Does anybody else...

think it would be a great upgrade to be able to insert photos into our private message exchanges on here? It would be much simpler than disclosing private e-mail addresses, etc. It'd be much nicer tobe able to insert my private before & afters in messages. Hope everyone is enjoying their day! I'm having a nice one today.
Name not provided

The doctor is not listed on this site, but I chose him based off of the recommendation of a family friend who appeared to have had a nice result. I will private message about my doctor to those who privately inquire. *******I also will no longer be responding to messages from non-established members on this site (people who sign up only to message me, are not documenting an experience or openly commenting to other members). *******

1 out of 5 stars Overall rating
2 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
1 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
1 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
2 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
2 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
2 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
2 out of 5 stars Payment process
3 out of 5 stars Wait times
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Gosh... I am so sorry for all that you've been through and I can totally relate to so much of what you've described!! I had the misfortune of acquiring a facially disfiguring autoimmune disease and only managed to survive by telling myself I would eventually get surgery to fix the damage. Well I finally had the surgery a few months ago (after 2.5 years of waiting for the disease to stop) and it actually made things even worse than before!! I am absolutely devastated!!! I know how it feels to hide from everyone, ashamed of your appearance, and to think about suicide because your quality of life has deteriorated so much. My self-esteem has left the building. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy!! I really hope things improve for you. Sending internet hugs and happy vibes.
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Yeah, that's a great idea about being able to attach photos in pm. Maybe we should propose it to the realself team! Glad you're having a nice day!!
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heyy dear, how are you? i can very well understand what you're going through, I too have exactly same varying feelings at different times. bu one thing for sure is that my nose always stays a my focus in my head,no matter what I do , looking into a mirror, talking to someone, I keep thinking that they would be noticing only my nose. sometimes when I feel pretty and take a picture of myself, I realize that my nose has ruined all my prettiness. I know that I need a revision and that too from some trusted doctor oversea and I would need a lot of money , which I don't have right now. I feel that's the ultimate goal of my life "to get a natural, nice looking nose"... and everything that I do, I relate it to this goal of mine. I'm sure you'll have all your concerns addresses thru a successful revision . and Don't feel guilty about the money spent. your happiness is invaluable . all the best. and it would be great if you can mail me your before and afters . I am here to talk to you and support you always ..lot of love,
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I just read through your story. My heart goes out to you. I know how a nose can ruin a life and occupy a mind. It can take you away from all the good peaceful moments of your life. I'm so sorry and I pray that u will take the steps to make your revision a reality. You deserve to be happy and to feel beautiful or at least normal. You *can* achieve this. There is hope. From what I understand its more expensive. But if I had to do it to make it happen, I would. I can feel your pain. I truly suggest at least check out Dr. Naderis pagebon revision. Read it and see maybe he can help you.he is supposed to be one of the best. If not then someone who specializes. I. DO think it would be worth it. Just find an honest surgeon who will tell u what is possible. I know Naderi is honest if he can't help u he will say it. Good luck to you :)
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Thank you so much, kpeton, for taking the time during your recovery to read my review and offer your care & insight. I really appreciate it. And thank you for getting back to me so quickly about your orthognathic experience. I believe I can achieve improvement also. Fortunately I am lucky enough to have the finances covered when I am ready, but alas, that is only half of the battle. Thank you for the encouragement! xx
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I'm very sorry...I know exactly how you feel. I hate this and hate when I get that feeling of helplessness. I thought 15K+ was outrageous for a revision but now I'm seeing even higher amounts for top surgeons I've looked into. And that doesn't include consults, travel, hotel, nurse, and additional costs. One girl spent over 17k for a Southern Cal doc and is still going to have to pay another 4k for a touch up. This feels like a prison sentence. Hang in there...hoping it gets better for you.
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Isn't it almost unfathomable? You are so right about the feeling of a prison sentence. I got out for a bit to get some coffee and just be out, facing people, and took a little stroll. It helps on days like these, and also helps to remember people are not always viewing me with a flash of a camera on my face (which brings out the worst in my situation) and I keep in mind the many people who treat me no different. Such an emotional roller coaster! You hang in there too. Hugs x
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"I never got a breast augmentation because I did not want to fuss with "rotating the tires", and yet here I am in a similar situation.... needing a follow up procedure that is more than double the cost of the first (and a hundred times the cost, emotionally!) and won't leave me as "normal" looking as I did before any of this" This. I feel like I opened a can of worms by getting a rhinoplasty, and it was supposed to be a finesse procedure. I just had my revision but I am deathly scared I will be needing one in the future.
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I sooo feel for you, every single day, I feel for anyone who has gone through this. Stay strong, Peonia ♡♡♡
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I can relate so much to your story. I am so sorry you had to go through this.
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Hi! I just read your review and can totally relate to the way you are feeling. I also have an extremely narrow nose but it is scooped in not tall. Would you mind sharing with me the names of the doctors you are considering for revision? Pm me whenever you want. I have an interesting article to share about widening the nose !
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Complete respect for you for posting this! I appreciate it. If you don’t feel comfortable posting the name of your doctor could you please msg it to me?
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Hi xoxoxo11! Thank you for reading. Unfortunately, due to other community members violating the trust that I feel automatically should come when I choose to volunteer information privately (such as who my surgeon was) out of my own kindness, I no longer disclose my surgeon's name. It is sad that other people have made it to where I cannot share with those that would be respectful and not post the surgeon's name publicly, along with lying about the surgeons credentials. I can, however, tell you that it is nobody you have mentioned booking consults with in your discussions section on your profile. So basically, I will be happy to tell you who the surgeon isn't. Feel free to message me if you book more consults and I'll let you know if it was them or not.
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Thank you so much. Super nerve racking process and I'm really appreciative of your courage posting this!
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You are so very welcome! Do you have David W Kim in SF on your list? He is well worth the consult.
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I haven't.. He's a little too conservative for what I'm looking for.. Paying 10 thousand dollars and all lol! I met with creasman today but your post is making me think twice because he has absolutely NO reviews on rhino and the only evidence I have of him doing a good job is a single person I know. I'm meeting with most and behmand next week so hopefully one of them just clicks. Have you gone through the revision process yet?
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I'm glad to hear the results were fine. You don't need another thing to worry about beside your nose. I hope one day soon I read you had decided on revision. If you're going to share pictures privately please consider me on the list. Thanks for the update!
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I'm sure you look absolutely fine :) I'd love to see a picture, as like me, I'm constantly scrutinising the appearance in the mirror every waking moment but it's not until someone else says that they can't notice anything wrong you start to wonder why! I hope you achieve the result you are looking for, I really do! Best of luck
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Thanks, doll! Yea I have been meaning to compile a recent nose collage to share private with people. I will have to get around to that, soon. Best of luck to you, as well! xx
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Thank you for the update and sorry to hear about the lump found in your breast. I pray it's a benign one and nothing is serious. I am glad you found gardening comforting. I love plants and nature since a very young age. I feel like you can write book about your experience! Please keep us posted. XoXo
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Thank you, zooster! Hope you are still loving your revision! I will have to peek at your profile after writing this. Yes gardening is so fun! I started with some low-maintenance plants just to get the hang of things :) I will let you know when I release my memoir, hehe ;)
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Great update! Glad you're feeling better and I hope it continues to get better and better. Try not to worry about the lump....they are pretty common and almost always turn out to being nothing to worry about. Thank you for the good advice! Hugs
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Thanks, Faith! I feel like I am right back on the emotional roller coaster, but really trying to stay focused and centered on the odds being in my favor. Hugs back!!
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I'm sorry for your pain. I hope things get better.
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Thank you! Things are getting better.
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