Rhinoplasty: Stories

I will try to update with pics as soon as possible but right now it is hard for me to take one without crying. I had my procedure a few weeks ago with a double board certified ENT/ Facial cosmetic surgeon. I decided on him after meeting with two other cosmetic surgeons. I had an open septoplasty/ turbinate reduction/ rhinoplasty with cartilage graft. My nose had been broken once before. My breathing is much improved from the procedure but the cosmetic outcome makes me wish I never did any of this. I went to my doctor based on a referral from a family friend who's cosmetic outcome was simply gorgeous. I then scheduled an appointment for consultation, and the doctor really seemed to know his stuff. He showed me his book full of pictures and the results were nice and natural looking. Being that his pictures looked good and I had the advantage of knowing someone who, 2 years after the procedure still looked great and was pleased with the outcome, I booked my surgery.

Recovery was tough on me because I am not a mouth breather, and I was lucky to sleep more than 15 minutes at a time due to waking up coughing with a dry throat. Aside from that, I did not have much pain or anything like that..

I had my cast removed over a week ago. When it came off my nose was all red and flaky and I did not really know what I was looking at face on, so I tired not to look at it too much. He showed me a glance from the side and I instantly thought "the bump is still there!" but really tried to just not judge yet. He put the tape on and I went home.

I was told I could take the tape off a few days later and continue to tape whenever I wish. I will tell you right now, this tape is staying on my face until I get a revision. I look far better with it on than off. I know, I know, maybe there is still swelling, I am not even a month out, yadda yadda.... my nose is CROOKED. Not uneven swelling, crooked. as in leaning way more to one side.

As I said before my nose was broken, so he did a cartilage graft to balance things out but all it did was make it big and make it lean. I had nothing done to the tip or my nostrils. This was supposed to be a "finesse" type rhinoplasty. my bridge is still high, crooked, and there was supposed to be a straight line but there is still a boney, non-swollen hump that then dips down towards my tip. I can see where he did the graft how I still feel/look swollen, but that considered, this is not a nice outcome, and if the swelling keeps going down it will honestly probably look worse and make the bump that is still crooked and big, more prominent. I only told a few people I had this done and I am embarrassed for them to see what I paid for. I don't want my fiancé to look at or touch me. I don't want to leave my house. I am normally a strong person and can take things into consideration, but I know this is not an "it will get better" situation. Others like me who have had a bad outcome knew something was wrong right away. Now I face the even more terrifying thought of a revision... which I don't even know how to deal with. Seriously disappointed.

1/2/13
After doing a little research and mulling it over, the initial shock and disappointment has subsided quite a bit. I have decided the World is not ending. I posted originally right after seeing that this bump will not go away by itself. But the more I have looked into it, I would revise that review to a "not sure". Nobody goes into this wanting/ expecting to have to have more fine tuning done afterwards. I realize after talking it over with my hunny & family that yes, there are still areas to be improved but it is better. Apparently septum shifting back to its original place happens, and isn't necessarily the fault of the surgeon. It's nature. It is unfortunate I had a residual bump but I am not alone with that. This is something that also can happen and from what I read can be resolved as soon as 6 months out. At least it was not over-scooped. This also does not mean my surgeon was incompetent. I placed a call to him and we will discuss the next step but I realize I had a complicated nose, and I could have had this outcome with even the best of doctors. I have high hopes and anticipate him to be more than understanding and to help me through this and want to further remedy this not only for myself, but his already wonderful reputation. This is just the reality of what can happen with this type of surgery. Good luck and best wishes to all! Will update again, soon :)

So to catch all up to speed, swelling has subsided, and I dislike it more and more. I know, everyone is all about seeing pics and I know I prefer a review with pics but I am sorry.... if I was happy or satisfied in any way I would, but I am so upset over it that it just is not going to happen. For people in my area who want to pm for pictures I could probably arrange that. But if I go posting on my review, well I might as well post naked pictures, too. That's how I feel.

My surgeon doesn't really know what he can do for it, which I am on the one hand glad he expressed because if he has no confidence in himself than I don't either. While it is sad I can no longer trust him, better than for him to lie and I end up with a bigger disaster. On the other hand it is so unacceptable to me that he has no real explanations. In regards to the residual hump, he said "I don't know if fixing it would even be worth it". I wanted to yell "WORTH IT TO WHO?!" Because OBVIOUSLY it is worth it to me. I'd maybe bear it if it even resemled my old natural bump before I broke it, but this is a completely different looking one. My nose still looks broken... the only real change was the sides were narrowed. Only one side was narrowed in too much to where the side bone sits under the top bone instead of joining it smoothly... giving me a real nice dent. It still leans, and I see no attempt was actually made to straighten my septum. I had a nasal valve collapse prior to surgery from a break that I thought he would address being that he said he was going to use spreader grafts... well he totally ignored where it was really needed. He said he didn't put any where the collapse was because then my nose would look too big... I'm sorry but I thought this was about achieving balance? So the narrowed sides now emphasize the collapse. This is why, even though lots of docs don't like computer imaging, it would have been helpful in this case because I would have a visual of his intent not to fix my collapse, and I wouldn't have gone to him.

Not a day goes by that I am not depressed over it. It is ruining my life right now and my relationship. I never liked my nose to begin with but I never sought surgery until I literally broke it. I figured that it made sense to fix something broken. I researched doctors for longer than most do, and this still happened to me. So just know, no matter how much of your homework you do, you could still end up unhappy and the end result could be very hard on you psychologically. I did my best to be patient and have hope in all of this even though I was unhappy since cast removal, but I can't pretend anymore. I'd even take my broken nose over this one, because at least I didn't pay for that one. I wish the best of luck to everyone on their journey of trying to be satisfied with their reflection.

You any of you out there who are or have suffered through a bad surgery/outcome.... how do you cope? Do you have a mix of good & bad days? Can you get through work ok? I am currently looking for work and find it very hard to muster up the courage to go on interviews looking how I do. I doubt my nose looks like a botched nose job to strangers, probably more like I got into a horrible accident. I am lucky enough to have not bumped into any friends or acquaintances since this happened, and I pray to God that I don't ever until this gets fixed. It sucks to hide, though. There are some family members I really don't want seeing me either. I have absolutely no life now. It's hard to even want to get up every day. I only leave the house to do what I absolutely have to. And yes, I have seen a therapist about how to cope with it but it is still the biggest challenge of my life! My mom tries to tell me it is not so bad and so does my significant other but it is just to make me feel better. I have a mirror, I have a camera. I can look at myself objectively and it no question looks worse then my broken nose and if someone knew I paid to have this done.... that this is a rhinoplasty, they wold probably be very surprised that this was someone's attempt at fixing it.

I am just so upset I did this to myself and wonder if I am pushing my luck having this grotesque mess fixed. You can't even expect a good outcome when you know someone personally who got a great nose from the same surgeon... it is very sad!

Any people out there with good revision stories? It is almost impossible to find any. I want to have hope but then wonder how I would feel just going through more surgeries, only to end up looking even more disfigured. I truly can't believe this even happened to me! In no way could I have ever been prepared. I tried so hard to be positive even though I knew when the cast came off it was a mistake to have done this. I have been so strong and put on my "big girl" panties dozens of times and I just can't anymore. Especially since the surgeon did all but shrug his shoulders at me the last time I saw him. I am so angry that I trusted this person and had faith in him. I truly thought he would not be a doctor that conducted himself that way but that's when you see who you are REALLY dealing with.... when things go WRONG. I know it was elective but there should still be cases where it is acceptable to be reimbursed when something elective and cosmetic goes BAD. In nothing that I signed did it say that a risk could be looking like a victim of some freak accident. I can't help but be mad at myself for thinking I deserved to have something broken fixed. I disliked my nose before it was broken and had several opportunities to have it operated on, but didn't. I learned to find things I liked about it as I got older. But of course when I broke it and couldn't breathe anymore, it made sense to me to try to look more "normal" again. I am sorry for the rant but I just feel like a fool.... a fool for trying to be positive and say maybe this was a problem with healing and not my surgeon's mistake and a fool for thinking he would be able to just fix whatever he screwed up... a fool for even attempting to have a normal looking nose. I do have some ok days where I don't feel like this the whole day, but today is not one of them. I guess I am just looking for some hope from people who have had revisions, because I don't want this looking like a bigger train wreck than it already does :(

Just a small update, the side of my nose that was overly narrowed (bone moved in too far) is now getting to where it is starting to obstruct my breathing. It is collapsed inward and upon a deeper inspiration, closes off. The nasal bone is narrowed in so close that it is all but flat against my septum. If I pull on my cheek beside my nose and breath, it feels how it did on that side before surgery and also pulls the skin into it's original normal looking position... I just don't get why the Hell he did this to me. Keep in mind I have a nasal collapse on the opposite side that he just left there, and when my deviated septum was corrected, the new found air flow on that side causes that nostril to suck inward. It is sad that this gets more depressing by the day and I truly hope there is a good, HONEST, caring doctor who can deliver what I believe have always been realistic expectations. I really need to start hearing some great revision stories right about now. I need some real hope!

*I will also add, while I am so happy for all of the positive reviews on here, I really cannot help but feel jealous sometimes. It's hard not to blame yourself when things go wrong. I just wish I had a happy story on here, too! Maybe one day.

So, another little update... I received some before and afters I requested from my surgeon's office. They arrived. What a joke. Literally the same broken nose I went in with only with a bigger hump that is narrowed in on both sides, making the hump larger. Oh and of course the added dented in bone creating a solid straight line down my whole nose. So weird looking. Of course my "afters" were only a month out and not depicting my now de-swelled sides of my nose where there is some collapse. Truly a joke to me. I am trying to tell myself that for revision it is basically the same nose that will be worked with... all though the surgeon said "I couldn't take any more out of your nose" which kind of scared me to even hear, he said that when he was perplexed over this hump I still have. So I think he meant he was sure the bump was reduced as much as possible, though clearly that is not the case. It is as if he took the broken hump I went in with and smoothed the sides of it, left it still tall (or I developed a calcification or I dunno what) then narrowed me side bones, creating an even TALLER nose/bump. I am really hoping it can be restored to a natural state, as I just want to look normal. I have never had outlandish expectations or wanted to look like someone else. I just wanted to look like "me" before my nose broke, how I appeared when I was in "good" lighting. Now there is no good lighting, as this tall narrow nose looks pinched and any overhead lighting just makes me want to crawl under a rock.

So, I am still actively looking into revision. I would like to look in to Dr. Kim, who I have since met with and he would like me to come back in the near future when I am closer to revision time. I liked him very much. He was quite humble and straight forward and the quote did not seem outrageous, as well as he did not give me the impression that my case is a total doozy. I would also like to meet with Dr. Most, and the jury is still out on who my third doctor to meet with will be. I might meet with more than that, but those are the ones at the top of my list and who my surgeon referred me to after scratching his head. I will also add, that when I requested the photos I let his assistant know, since she had inquired, about my whole ordeal. She is a sweet lady and I am sure she passed the message along about me saying how my nose is now collapsing. I was surprised that he has not reached out and called. Even though I am not confident in his abilities to fix my situation in particular, I would still expect some concern for something like that happening. At the same time, I know it is time to just move on from that whole relationship... I held out hope for a long time as you can see in my prior entries, but when a surgeon doesn't know what to do or says they don't think removing a bigger looking hump than what you went in with would be "worth it", you know they won't be giving you their all. In the beginning he came across as having great bedside manner, but as previously stated, you don't really know who you are dealing with until something goes wrong.

So, I have started a little journal over in the revision rhinoplasty section. It can be discouraging in that section at times. I come across many that have had 2+ revisions and are just beside themselves with grief, and I am really concerned that it could be me, also. I am really trying to wrap my head around having another surgery. I relate this experience to going through a soul-crushing breakup. I thought I had found "the one", but my heart has been totally broken and shattered and I am feeling ugly and worthless. Now I have to find the strength to get back out there and move on so I can find the "right one for me", while trying not to be bitter and think that they are "all the same". I hope the next one was meant to be and that I live happily ever after :) I am searching for my surgeon soul mate!!! Dreams do come true sometimes, right?

I am realizing the hardest thing is learning how to carry myself with this nose. I believe this is due to the fact that it is very unpredictable and always looks different due to the major inconsistencies regarding cemetery. I have a couple of decades learning how to work my best angles, and now there truly aren't any and it makes me feel so awkward. Being that one side is so caved in, it's almost as if my nose curls over slightly, kind of like an ocean wave. There is just no way to know at any given time how it might look and it distorts my other features. I go to looking at photos of my nose, before rhinoplasty and before I broke it -which only slightly enlarged my natural hump- and I can't help but mourn the loss of that face. I'd even take the broken version. This nose is just too different from who I am and does not enhance a single thing, just makes parts of my face look hollow and just bad. I feel like I need miracle worker!