I had enough! I have always been fit, active and...
I had enough! I have always been fit, active and petite. After having my almost 9lb babies and gaining 50lbs each due to medical conditions, my stomach was a deflated balloon. 10 years ago, I hired a fitness trainer and pushed my body to its max. My goal was to see if I could somehow get my skin back in shape. Nope. So, it was then that I pursued my first tt consult. It wasn't financially feasible at that time so I have been waiting and wishing and praying. And then it happened. My husband sat me down and told me that he wanted to do this for me. That he sees how I struggle every day to feel comfortable in my clothes. That he sees my self confidence struggle when I'm out in public or when I have to go to any event. That I spend so much time worrying about keeping my tummy covered because "no one needs to see that if I can't even handle seeing it". I was in shock and I stayed in shock until I woke from surgery and was in the flat side! I never, ever want to go back and my only regret is that I couldn't have done it sooner!
Now, I have had many, many surgeries. Most recently being a disc replacement at my L5. So I am no stranger to having my abdomen cut open. Having said that, I have never had liposuction and so that's what I am blaming my pain on, lol!
I had a drainless tt with muscle repair and flank lipo on July 20. Dr. Lockwood at First Glance in Winnipeg, Canada performed the surgery. He and his staff are incredible and I feel like he did an incredible job.
Day 1 po: I had a 2 1/2 hour drive home (give or take) and I slept the entire way. (I NEVER sleep in a vehicle!). The nurse had given me 2 Percocet prior to my trip home. I got home and went to bed, waking an hour later feeling like I was going to DIE. I was having the strangest pains that were similar to Charlie horses in my upper abdomen. They were so bad that I couldn't breathe through them. I had do take in little wisps of air. They passed within a couple of minutes but this happened if I didn't take my pain pills every 4 hours. So I set my alarm for the next 24 hours.
Day 2 po: decided to try and get out of bed on my own. I knew from my po physio from back surgery, some tricks, so I implemented them and voilà! Every time I got up, I multi-tasked. I would pee, then get water and do a lap around the house. This was exhausting since I was so hunched over, but I am happy I did it.
Days 4, 5 & 6
So not much has changed in these 3 days. Sadly. I am still unable to stand up straight and because of that, I can really feel the tension in my back muscles. I probably pushed myself too hard today bc I noticed a small amount of blood coming from the centre of my insicion. No biggie, just a wake up call lol!
Although I haven't asked my ps, but will at my po appt, my abdominal muscles must have been quite spread bc I am having a really tough time eating portions of food even 1/2 the size of what I used to. This makes me think that having my muscles repaired has pushed my stomach back where it should be, preventing me from over eating. This is a good thing, but something that I think is going to take some time to get used to. Evenings are pretty rough for me. As soon as I eat supper, I'm basically finished for the night and have to lay down. I feel so incredibly distended that I can't even stand up.
My upper abdominal muscles are what's giving me the most trouble as they are so tight. I have one small spot along my insicion on my left side that burns really bad in the evening. I have been keeping a close eye on it and it looks like it's healing fine. I'm thinking maybe it's a stitch getting irritated. I have been putting a gel-ice bag on it every evening and tiniest I laid the bag over my entire abdominal muscles to try and get some relief. I finally gave in and took my pain pills which make things so much more tolerable. I am down to only taking them in the evening so I think that's not bad.
I'm going to try to upload my before pics to give a better understanding of what I had before my tt.
If anyone has any questions, feel free to message me. Now that this has been approved, I'm hoping to come on here daily, for the first bit, and record my journey.
Before my tt
Ok so these are the before pics taken the day before and the day of surgery.
Day 7 po
Damn this is tough! Day 7 today and truly feeling just as sore as days4, 5 & 6 :(
My incision is still only giving me trouble in a small spot in the left side. Otherwise, I only have pain in my abdominal muscles. "Only". The entire reason why I can't stand straight, why sitting isn't super comfortable, why walking is a bitch and why sneezing, coughing, farting and going #2 makes you feel like death. I really was hoping for some sort of miracle when I got out of bed today. I think i need to stop basing my recovery on others' recovery and just recover at my own pace. So what, today is the end of week one. Big deal. Carry on.
Side note, I was looking through pics and stories last night and came across like 3 people whose incisions opened up (quite far down the road) and they got really big. The ladies had to pack them and clean them and o m g I almost fainted. I feel so bad for these ladies. I pray that this doesn't happen to me!
Day 7 po pics
Tried in some undies that didn't fit before my tt! So happy!
Some pics
Seriously thrilled right now! Evening is rough. I'm
Usually in bed by 8 relaxing. I did some laundry today and picked up some groceries with hubby. I can't carry anything when I walk, I need to be able to swing my arms.
I tried to go for a verrrrry slow walk last night. Epic fail. I was winded by about the 5th house and I walk so freaking slow and I'm still hunched over. It was a disaster. So today, I managed about 15 mins in the store and that was it. Good morning way to prevent spending, lol!
I drove today. Was wonderful and totally painless. The only thing that I find difficult is walking, and I know that will improve once I'm able to stand straight. One day at a time.
I tried some jeans on that I used to love except I had such a chubby fupa that I always looked like either I had a ball sack or a camel toe. Gross. Today, however, omg!!!! Perfect!!! None of those issues any more and I was over the moon. There's no way I can wear jeans yet but just knowing that they're there waiting for me gets me very excited!
Also, I having been wearing some tops that I've lived but hated bc of my belly. Well now my boobs look huge in relation to my tummy so along side having a flat, albeit swollen, tummy, I look like I got a boob job too! Ha!!
"Look Ma, no rolls!!!!"
Sitting straight up and my tummy is flat! Whoa boy this is going to take some getting used to. Every time I sit up and look down I expect to see my rolls!
Day 8
I have to say that today was a great day! I went to the store by myself. Was hard to walk through the store "normally"...I have to walk slow like a turtle or else I have to walk hunched over. Either way, I feel like everyone is staring at me. Ah well. I did it and made it home and didn't need a nap! The pain is pretty minimal except that upper region of my abs. A bruise has appeared there, centre right below my sternum. Boy my muscles must have been bad! I'm still not standing straight up, but that's ok, it will come. I am not pushing myself to stand up because my incision is way too vulnerable and I'm terrified that it will open up. I've been icing my tummy quite often and today it has made a huge difference in the swelling so will keep doing it.
Day 9 po
Take one step forward, one step back. Today has been a bit harder than yesterday. I'm not worried, I know that I will have good days and not-so-good days. I wasn't able to stand up as straight today as I was yesterday, and I think that maybe I pushed myself too much yesterday. Lesson learned. Chilled most of today. Sat up on a stool for too long and when I stood, I was shocked at how swollen and hard my tummy was! I guess that was a mistake. So now I have ice on my tummy and the remote in my hand. Chillin with my fur babies and enjoying an empty house.
Day 10 po
Today has been a great day!!!! I have pretty much been upright all day. Neanderthal me only comes out it the evening or when I have been sitting too long. My bff invited me over for supper, which was so nice! Since my entire family is away, my meals consist of cereal, toast and protein shakes.
I managed to clean the house and do up the dishes. Oh, and I washed my hair! Lol! (It's the small things at this point). I was out getting some more poo softeners and a car accident happened right by where I was parked. I was the only one around, so I had to go make sure everyone was ok. One passenger was just a young girl, 19, and she was in complete shock. She grabbed on to me and held on for dear life, crying into my chest and telling me how nice I was for staying with her. I stayed until her mom came. The cars were both write-off's but everyone was ok, and that's all that matters.
I took some pics today. I'm so happy with my results this far and it's only going to get better. I can hardly believe this is my new body!
Before and after
It has been so long since I've seen my tummy before all the stretched skin that I find myself thinking "is that really where a bb goes? Is that really what my mons should look like". The answer is always "YES". Yes! Yes! Yaaaaaaaaassssssss!
Day 11 po
I feel amazing today. Almost back to good! Pain is minimal, I standing up,straight and I even went for a walk around the neighborhood! I baked and cleaned and did laundry. Swelling is minimal too. Man am I thrilled! 2 more days until my PO appointment with Dr. Lockwood. Am pretty excited to see him.
Hoping that all of my hard days are behind me!
Day 12 po
Maybe I felt too good yesterday....today I was pretty sore. Manageable, but definitely tender in my abdominal muscles. So I just took it easy for the day but I ended up having to put the ice on my abdomen this evening bc I was so swollen. That sure works wonders. I feel a whole lot better after it. Didn't take any pics today, not much has changed. I have my post op appointment with my ps tomorrow. I'm looking pretty forward to it!
Day 13 po
So I saw my ps today for my (almost) 2 week post op. He was blown away and said that I am 2 weeks ahead of the healing game. I knew my body bounced back really well after surgeries in the past but 2 WEEKS!?!?!? Sweeeeeeeeeet! He gave me the ok to only wear my garment for 12 hours/day, and I can choose to do that whenever, so obvi I'm gonna wear it at night! As soon as I left his office, I very strategically stripped out of it! Haha! My air con went on the 2+ hour drive in, so I was a hot (literally) mess when I got to his office. To take off that garment was heaven! He asked how I was feeling and I told him that I am having a lot of muscle aching in my abdomen. He said he wasn't surprised as he "did a lot of work" to me and this is why he was surprised at my progress. I had a hernia, which he suspected. He said that he had a hernia repair and that it is a painful recovery. This explains a lot! So if my scar is 2 weeks ahead of the game, does this mean I can start using silicone? Prob not. He said not to put anything on it for 4 weeks, so I'm guessing I have to wait until all of the scabs come off. Sigh.
Day 14
I made it to the 2 week mark! So crazy to think that it's been 2 weeks already! Out of all of the surgeries that I have had, this is the one at I am really having a hard time being patient with! For obvious reasons! I feel like I should be able to just put on my pre-surgery clothes and go about my day. After all, that gross flap is gone as are the love handles. But nope. Thanks swelling. Just when I feel like a rockstar, you have to go and remind me that I'm no where close. I'm good, though. As tough as it is, I know that in no time I will be back into those clothes and I can't wait for that day! As for now, my incision is healing really well. The scans are starting to really fall off except for in the centre of it. My bb is looking better and better every day. I'm looking forward to the stitches falling out of it. They make me crazy to look at. I want to pick them! I know my PS said that it's totally expected, the aching in my abdomen is awful at times. Especially at night. It has moved down from my upper abdomen and is now more around my bb.
Does anyone else find this crazy; if you're up and about, my stomach stretches out and I can walk somewhat normal, but as soon as I sit for a bit and try to stand agin, I have to start all over.! I hope that it is just because they are still healing! Wouldn't it be rotten if that was just the way they were now!? Haha. Ok, I think too much at night!
Happy healing, ladies! Tomorrow's another day in the right direction!
Day 18
So as usual I had an exceptionally great day yesterday so today was rough. My ab muscles are SO SORE. Ugh. So as usual, I took the day easy, did minimal chores and had lots of ice time on my abs. I found it kind of sad that I wasn't standing as straight today either. Again, I'm trying to keep things in perspective and just take it moment by moment. I'm grateful that I don't have to go to work until the beginning of September. That is really helping to keep my anxiety at bay. Oh, and wine. Wine is helping too! :p. The past couple of days I have been experiencing the emotional roller coaster that I have read others talk about. It's almost like a pity party, but not really. I guess I just expected my teenage sons to step up a bit more and help out. Rationally, I know that they can't possibly get what I have just gone through, but irrationally I feel like they should! Hubs is working and I'm so lonely without him, he's my best friend. So when he gets home, rationally I know that he needs time to unwind, but irrationally I feel like he needs to immediately plug in to me. Thankfully I am able to get out of the house in my own, even just to go for a coffee run. But still, I'm so lonely! Thankfully I have my fur babies! Lol! I'm not really telling people that I've had this surgery, so I get invitations to get together but I don't feel up to it. My one gf knows that I had this done so when she has time, she comes over for a visit.
Most of my scabs are gone now. I kind of freaked out when one came off because it almost looked like it might start to bleed. So far it seems fine. My anchor stitches are still very much there and are still looking puckered, but that's ok. I'm down 6 lbs bit I'm guessing that's because my stomach is back where it's supposed to be and can't fill up as much.
Hope you are all doing well! Xoxo
Emotions!
Ugh! Wth is with these crazy emotions!?!? I was at the dr this morning. A specialist that I was referred to to see why my insulin levels show high and why I feel "flaggy" at least once/day. So we're talking and she has a strong accent and s asking questions and I'm answering them and she's basically making me feel stupid bc I'm not answering them right. So then I can feel the stinging behind my eyes and I'm fighting falling apart. Then we delve into my family medical history, which I pretty much know nothing about bc my mom died of cancer when I was 2 and my dad abandoned us. So just when I get over the first bout of almost falling apart, here comes wave #2. I can't talk about my mom at the best of times without falling apart. It def didn't help that she already set me off and I am already an emotional mess. Full disclosure: I am not a crier. I don't remember the last time I cried. I just don't. I am chill, laid back and deal with things as they come. So this is really, really hard. Because this dr basically left me with a bad taste in my mouth, I don't want to go for the stupid glucose testing and I don't want to ever see her again. She didn't listen to anything I said, only fixated on what she wanted to hear, so I feel that she totally misunderstood my situation.
Ok. Rant over. Bottom line? I don't understand why I'm so freaking emotional. Can anyone else relate??? I sure hope this is just a brief thing cuz I really don't like feeling like I'm going to cry if someone so much as looks at me the wrong way!!!! Lol!!!
3 weeks!!!
The past 3 days have been tough. Kind of feel like my ab healing has come to a stand still. So much aching and pains. I'm wearing my garment a whole lot more than I have to. It feels so much better when it's on and it doesn't bother me, unless I'm outside in the heat. Then it's ugh! I take it off before my shower and end up outing it back on mid-afternoon.
My scar only has a scab in the centre now so I have started massaging silicone gel into the other parts.
I feel like dresses are to most comfortable to wear right now as my abdominal skin is so tender so I went out looking and found a really nice one on clearance at Winners. It was $9! And it's a small :)
Will add pics shortly. Hope everyone is well!
Day 23 po
The past bit has continued to be a tough journey. The SUPER sensitive skin is making it difficult to wear clothing. I have been doing some things to try and de-sensitize that area but it's not really helping. I know this is just my nerves re-attaching and waking up and all that, but uuuuuuuugh! I really am over it. Still poopin out by 5pm, that's a downer. Trying to keep in the mind set that I really am only 3 weeks out of a major surgery.
4 weeks!!!!! 1 month!!!! I MADE IT!!!! Ha!
It's also my 14th wedding anniversary today!
I have been using the arnica lotion for the past couple of mornings and it has significantly improved my skin sensitivity! Yay! (Still not gonna do jeans tho!)
I wore a pair of button shorts yesterday to go for breakfast with my Hubs and had to take them off when I got home. They just seem to tug in my skin too much and it makes my tummy feel stiff, like a hard-worked, exhausted muscle.
I did loads of stuff today around the house. Felt so good to get this place back in shape! Every day is so much better! This feels like the true turning point for me. My muscles hurt less, the zaps and zings are few and far between and I'm not exhausted any sooner than I was pre-op.
My swelling is minimal...yesterday was the true test! I added 3 pics...the ones that I am clothed are the ones from yesterday, after housework all day. The naked pics are first thing this morning. Not too much of a difference, imo. I wore my spanx last night for my final night. Well, we will see. I don't "have" to wear them anymore, so I might try sleeping without tonight and see. I fell so secure with it on though, not sure how it's gonna go. Will let you know!
Ok, I think that's it. Happy healing, beauties!
5 weeks + 1 day
Things keep progressing and I'm more and more thrilled everyday! I haven't had swelling in almost a week and my skin is less sensitive. Turns out that the feeling was returning to the area below my be, which is why my skin was super sensitive. Just nerves regenerating. I only have numbness from my bb down to my scar in about a 1.5" strip. This is fantastic! Nothing is worse than being numb! At one point in my recovery, I was walking through the mall, wondering why ppl were looking at my tummy so I asked my husband to look and see if there's something wrong. Turns out that as I was walking, my baggy top was floating up and exposing my belly button. I couldn't feel a thing. Lol! My bb is in the red scar stage, so I'm sure ppl were traumatized by what they saw!!
I'm still having some tenderness from my hernia repair. This could last for a while yet, my PS said he did a lot of work.
I finally measured my waist since I'm not swelling anymore. I am down 3". So happy! I think that things will still go down, even though I don't see/feel the swelling, I know there's still internal swelling that is healing. I am consistently maintaining a 5lb weight loss, too. It seems so strange to have had 5lbs of skin/fat removed off of one area. Things can only get better once I get clearance to start running again! Woo hoo!
Hope everyone is well! Xo
Hello beauties!
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27 Sep 2016
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2 months post
It's been a while, but that's because I really don't have anything to report! Things are wonderful! I have been back at work since sept 6 and slowly my body has gotten used to the busy days of Kindergarten! I am now wearing anything that I choose without any discomfort and I have had no swelling for weeks and weeks. Evenings mean I am just as flat as when I woke in the morning I am trying to get used to how things fit, and I still catch myself pulling my pants up over my imaginary blob of skin/fat that once used to be there. I suppose after living with it for 15 years it is going to take more than 10 weeks to get use to this new flat tummy!!
So, ladies, advice please! I am suuuuuuuper flat and have not an ounce of skin/fat to,spare in my tummy. This means that my belly button is almost flat. I want it to be a bit of an "innie" so my question is, do you think it is too late for me to start doing the marble technique? Will that still help it take shape, or has that ship sailed? My stomach is still super tight and the only allowance I have s when I bend over, then there is a bit of skin there from where my stretch marks used to be above my bb. I held off bc my ps didn't mention putting anything in it by now I feel I need to try something. I will try and add some pics.
Hope everyone is doing fantastic and living sir new bodies! Xo
Almost 9 mths po
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12 Apr 2017
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9 months post
So here I am! Almost 9 months po and about to go into my first spring with my new body! I don't think this will feel 100% real to me until I have experienced each season. Sounds strange, maybe, but my body has changed so much and as I enter spring, I see how amazing my clothes fit me! I am slowly building a new wardrobe, though. A lot of my clothes (tops) are way too big, or they were tops that I wore for the soul purpose of hiding my gut. I refuse to wear any type of A-line top or baby-doll type top right now. I felt the need to live in those for 16 years. I'm excited for summer, for wearing tanks---not flowy ones! Tanks that fit, that I used to wear UNDER the float ones to suck it all in!
Now that my mons area was lifted, I am no longer self-conscious about wearing jeans and tighter pants. I lost my fupa and that might be the most amazing thing ever!!! I feel comfortable in bikini's now and can't believe how my summer dresses fit! (More notably, I can't believe I wore them prior to my tt!)
This just keeps getting better! When I saw my ps recently, he was thrilled with my healing and how my abs are defining. That made me so happy. He said that my scar is still "active", so it's only going to get better!!!
I am scheduled for a belly button revision, as I can't stand mine. He is baffled as to why it healed the way it did, as am I. I used silicone scar therapy on it religiously. Ah well, he will fix it and then my transformation will be complete! I can't wait! It's a short procedure, done in his office under local anesthetic. 1/2 hour tops. I am wanting it pulled in and top-hooded. There isn't much skin there to manipulate, so if all he can manage is to get the scar tucked nicely inside, I'll be good with that.
Below my bb has small, thin, stretch marks that were pulled down from above my bb. I am ok with that. In fact, I'm more than ok with it. I had 2 beautiful babies, and I have still have the scars to prove it! Haha! They are only noticeable when I'm completely naked, as there really isn't enough loose skin for them to cause any hanging. It just wrinkles when I bend over. No big deal!
Will post pics of it when I have it done. For now, here's my almost-9-month po pics!
(The marks on my flanks are from me scratching! I had a reaction to the chlorine in our hot tub and didn't realize I was making marks from my scratching! Haha!)
Lower ab stretch marks--only noticeable when I'm bending
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12 Apr 2017
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9 months post
Haha! Ignore the boobage squishing out of my sports bra!
BB revision complete!
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20 May 2017
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10 months post
I had excess skin around my belly button, causing it to "float" and so basically the original anchor wasn't working. My PS revised it by cutting off the excess skin and then he made it smaller and anchored it deeper. This was all done under local anesthetic in the OR. It was a bit unnerving, initially, but I trust him 100% so I was confident it would all be ok. Once the freezing wore off, it was very tender. Stinging and burning. He advised ice and it worked like a charm! It has been 24 hours, and he just called to see how I was doing. It isn't weeping at all so he cleared me for a shower. Poly sporin and bandages. I see him in 2 weeks. Praying this time things heal properly. I really really like my smaller innie!
