1 week away from consultation for mommy makeover

I’ve researched doctors and followed this site for over a year! I decided to have a consultation with Steven Vath in Denver, Colorado. My consultation is March 12 and I’m so excited to see if I’m good candidate. I’m almost 45 and have always been overweight. In two years I lost about 65 lbs, then stalled at 160 lbs. I am 5’2 and know I need to lose more weight, but it hasn’t budged in about a year! I eat well and workout 5 days a week. I’m hoping I have good results with surgery and I can finish my fitness journey I’ve worked so hard for.

My husband and I went to my consultation on March 12. Everything you all said about Dr Vath and staff are true! I was very pleased with how we were treated by the front desk, then Dr V, and Kari is a doll and sooo patient with all my questions. I thought I needed a TT and BL W/ BA. After examination he thought I would be happier with greater results with a LBL and BL with NO implants. He's a straight shooter and does not pressure. We agreed with his TX plan and set a surgery date for May 2nd.
I have been waking up every morning at 3 am since then wondering if I am doing the right thing...If I "deserve" this. Why should my poor husband have to work even harder (I have a great job, but I know it'll fall more on him being such a large bill) to get this Huge bill paid for something I did to myself? I think about not doing this and getting that new kitchen I want? I can just keep tucking my belly in? Blah blah blah.....Any of you go through this? Every other day I think the heck with it! I'm going to CX my apt! :(

As you can see below I was suppose to have my surgery May of 2019. Not long after my consultation I began to see red flags with comments my husband would make about the surgery. I was no longer excited to get it. Long story short and for several other reasons I decided to cancel my surgery. Months later we sadly ended our marriage. I slipped into A depressed state and gained about 20 lbs back. The whole time telling myself it's ok to be heavy and who cares about all this extra mess I'm carrying around on my belly....I'm too old to care?! Well I woke up one morning and decided ever since I cancelled my surgery I lost my spark!! I CARE!! I DO deserve this and NOTHING will stop me! I am losing the weight I gained back and RS'd my surgery for March 12, 2021! The exact date of my consultation 2 years ago! Must be a sign! Soooo many of you inspire me! I hope to be as strong as you. I also hope I am as good at documenting my journey like so many of you are. It really helps to see others stories. Much love to you all <3