Breast Augmentation, Complications, and the Emotional Roller Coaster. Utah, UT

At 3 months post op, I saw my PS and was concerned about my implants looking too low and nipples felt really high. My PS took one glance and said they looked fine, they look just how they are suppose to. It looked as though he was going to leave it at that, but then one of his staff came in to take photos to compare to my last visit (1 month post op). My PS came back into the room and said I was right, there is some droopiness. He told me to wear an under wire bra 24/7 for a month and then check back.

One month later I check back.... More photos were taken to compare with the previous ones. The only thing that changed was the bottom curvature of my breasts were more rounded than oval. I told my PS I was not happy with my results to far. My implants were still too low and not centered behind my nipples. My PS said he thought they looked just fine. He advised me to keep wearing the under wire bra for another 24/7 for a month and then check back in again.

When asked if there was something that could be done, he said there was a surgery to lift them, but he would advise me not to do another surgery. When I mentioned the slight rippling on the sides, his response was simply, "that's because you're thin." I mentioned the animation deformity. He said that's just what happens when implants are placed under the muscle. I told him it wasn't just the deformity that bothered me, it was the frequency of which it happened, which is ALL DAY LONG. He asked me to show him and his response was, "I've seen much worse." I asked him, if in another month and I'm still not happy with my results, then what? He said, "Surgery is imperfect, I think your breasts look just fine." I felt like he was giving me the shortest answers possible while trying to leave the room before my boyfriend and I asked more questions.

I went to see two different plastic surgeons to get second opinions on my results. They both told me my implants had bottomed out - too low and too wide. At the very least , my breast pockets needed to be repaired to lift the implants back up. I was also advised that I would need to add an internal bra (dermal grafts) and it would be good to switch implants as well (silicone and smaller).

So far this has been one of the most frustrating experiences I have ever been through. My breasts are not what I thought they be, I don't like the way they look. Every time I look in the mirror, I get depressed. Even looking in the mirror with a bra on makes me sad, with my areolas and sometimes nipple popping out. "I haven't had any kids, what could go wrong," I thought before my surgery. I don't regret having the surgery done, but I wish I had gone to a different doctor. But what's done is done and I'll never know if the same thing could have happened with a different doctor. It probably would not have been so frustrating if my doctor had been better at addressing my complications, concerns, and questions.

After emailing my plastic surgeons' staff and asking about his revision surgery policy, I finally got my PS to agree to do the revision surgery. My surgery is booked for the first week in July for a capsulorrhaphy (as suggested by my PS). I am nervous about what my next results will be. I question if the pocket tightening procedure will be enough and the bottoming out will happen again too soon. I also worry that my results might end up worse than before. I don't want to keep doing surgeries to fix my breasts!

One month to go! I'm just so tired of having this elephant in the room.

Looking forward to crossing this next stepping stone. Nervous of course, of what the doctor will say about my condition this time, since he told me at every visit before that he thought my breasts looked just fine. I'm tired of having to decide what I should or should not do. Along with if I do decide to switch implants, size, or use other methods for durability and how much more that will all cost. Non of which I or my boyfriend can really fork out at the moment. I'm just mentally worn down over the two large elephants in the room. I just want to have my implants fixed... Fixed and not have to think/worry about getting them fixed again or replaced for a long time.

I want them to be what I thought they were going to be! I'm not very optimistic about the animation deformity though. I hate it and it may just be something I will just have to live with. The constant reminder of it every day, all day long, makes me sad.

So far after weighing out my pros and cons of saline vs silicone, I think I may stay with the same Mod Plus saline implants I have already. If the rippling does not get much worse than it is now, I could live with it. Their weight does still concern me though and I worry about bottoming out again all too soon.

Decisions, decisions, decisions..... Blah! Why couldn't it have all gone right and smooth the first time?!

I worry that because I am so emotionally and mentally worn down over this whole mess, I might not say or express all of my former concerns. I just want it done and over with and not have to care or worry about it ever again! I just want them to be something I'm proud of, something I would want to show off!

I had my pre op two days ago. I've decided to keep the implants I have. My surgeon said that to keep me within a "D" randge, he would only suggest going down 50cc's. I don't feel that 50cc's is enough to warrent new implants. I listed the pros and cons between saline and silicone on a piece of paper. And right now, where I'm at, and the more I have learned, I still think saline is best for now. I say for now, because things could always change in a few months or years.

I'm only having the pockets repaired at this time. My surgeon said there is only a 5% failure rate (Another surgeon told me 15% - 20%).

My boyfriend said he would support whatever decision I make for the up coming surgery, whether that means buying new implants or not. He assured me that if things don't work out, we would deal with it then when we come to it. He just wants to make sure I am happy with them.

Surgery is in 6 days. Wearing one of those attractive surgical bras is not how I envisioned my summer.

My incisions are not too visible, but they are not close enough to my breast fold to be "hidden." They were for quite a while right on the bottom edge of my breasts. And then there is the animation deformity.... Yes, I know it could be worse. But it is there and it is there frequently ALL DAY LONG. All day long I have a constant reminder that my breasts do not look right. My surgeon had told me there was nothing that could be done about it. The fist surgeon I consulted with about my results told me he could release the muscle a little more, but that all depended on what my original surgeon had already done. The second surgeon I consulted with told me there was nothing that could be done, but that the muscles may relax a little more and lessen it.... maybe.

Enough of the negative! On a positive note..... I have an hourglass-ish figure: 37, 27, 37.

I had my revision surgery yesterday. I am much more sore today! I spent the whole day yesterday sleeping. The anti-nausea medication makes me so groggy! I feel very tender and weak, but not as bad as the original augmentation. I can get myself up and out of bed on my own. Every once in a while, I can hear the shushing/gurgling sound when I move.

My surgeon said I should wear an under wire bra starting as soon I got home. He said he normally wouldn't have his patients do that, but in my case I should. My incisions with the tape and bandages under the bra are sooooo itchy. I feel a bit swollen, but not too bad. So far my areolas have stayed inside the bra, although they are just below the top of the cup. Hopefully they will stay inside the bra safely after the swelling has gone down.

Now time to rest more.....

Still feeling a little spaced out from the meds, but up and moving. Tape, bra, and incisions are itchy! I can still hear the sloshing/gurgling here and there. The side of my breast look a little odd to me, but I know it's still early on in the healing process.

I had my 1 week post op check up today. My surgeon removed my waterproof dressings and examined my breasts. So far so good! I will have another check up in a month.

I still feel quite itchy at times, tender, and having muscle spasms. The swelling is going down and I can feel their weight when leaning forward. I went the whole work day without anything over my incisions and they started to feel a little sore from my bra, so I went to the near by drug store and purchased some silicone scar sheets to put over them. So far that has helped.

I am so tired of wearing an under wire bra 24/7!!!!!!!! I've been doing this since February. Ugh. My breasts want to be free! (Or at least in a sports bra)

Healing is still going well. My incisions are still tender with a raised scar on my left breast incision. My stitches are probably still dissolving. I am still keeping them covered with silicone scar patches which helps protect them from the under wire.

I had my second check up with my PS this week. He said they look like they are doing fine and staying in place. He is still a little nervous about me using my upper body muscles that could push my implants out and down. I asked when I might be able to switch to a sports bra to sleep in at night. He said I should wear the under wire bra 24/7 for at least another month (if not a little longer). My right breast is still a little lower and off to the side more than the left, but so far it isn't bad, but still gives me anxiety. I don't have amazing cleavage because my breast are spaced far to begin with. However, that could be why a 32DD doesn't look that big on me. I hope I can some day stop feeling like I'm protecting precious, fragile cargo on my chest. I haven't tested out the animation deformity yet to see how that aspect is doing, but when I do, I will post photos and update that. My muscles over my breasts are not moving as much as they used to, so that is promising.

Okay, to sum up my stats if I haven't posted all of them yet:
5'5" tall, 120 lbs., no kids, age 37, started with a 32B, saline under the muscle, 400cc left side, 410cc right side, final size 32DD.

My Plastic Surgeon also announced that he is retiring and my file with be transferred to another surgeon.

It has been about 3 month since my revision surgery. My breasts have settled only a tiny bit more. The right breast still remains lower and wider than the left. My scars are now light in color, although wider than the originals. My left scar is raised a little while the right scar is flat. I still occasionally have to shift my breasts back down so my areolas don't pop out of the top of my bras. Laying down my nipples pop out of the top often. I still sleep with the under wire bra on at night, it doesn't really bother me much anymore. I'm still quite paranoid that they might bottom out again. The animation deformity is still there, but not as bad. I can feel my muscles moving more and more. I try not to do much or lift anything too heavy that would make the muscle move. (Still paranoid that this might make them too lateral again).

Here are some before and the 1 year later photos to compare. Overall I'm getting used to my implants but I still think they are a bit too large. I still have a strange pain under my left breast occasionally. My shoulders and neck muscles are always in knots and I hate the way the bra straps dig into my skin. The scars underneath my breast are bigger/wider than they were the first time, but at least they are more towards the breast crease. My implants are still not what I thought they would be but they are there now and I just have to deal with them. I still worry they will bottom out since they are still bottom heavy (and heavy). Under wire bras forever from now on. Oh how to I hate the under wire bras at times! The animation deformity is still there but doesn't consume my thoughts as much as it use to. I still hate that too!