Breast Augmentation, Complications, and the Emotional Roller Coaster. Utah, UT

At 3 months post op, I saw my PS and was concerned about my implants looking too low and nipples felt really high. My PS took one glance and said they looked fine, they look just how they are suppose to. It looked as though he was going to leave it at that, but then one of his staff came in to take photos to compare to my last visit (1 month post op). My PS came back into the room and said I was right, there is some droopiness. He told me to wear an under wire bra 24/7 for a month and then check back.
One month later I check back.... More photos were taken to compare with the previous ones. The only thing that changed was the bottom curvature of my breasts were more rounded than oval. I told my PS I was not happy with my results to far. My implants were still too low and not centered behind my nipples. My PS said he thought they looked just fine. He advised me to keep wearing the under wire bra for another 24/7 for a month and then check back in again.
When asked if there was something that could be done, he said there was a surgery to lift them, but he would advise me not to do another surgery. When I mentioned the slight rippling on the sides, his response was simply, "that's because you're thin." I mentioned the animation deformity. He said that's just what happens when implants are placed under the muscle. I told him it wasn't just the deformity that bothered me, it was the frequency of which it happened, which is ALL DAY LONG. He asked me to show him and his response was, "I've seen much worse." I asked him, if in another month and I'm still not happy with my results, then what? He said, "Surgery is imperfect, I think your breasts look just fine." I felt like he was giving me the shortest answers possible while trying to leave the room before my boyfriend and I asked more questions.
I went to see two different plastic surgeons to get second opinions on my results. They both told me my implants had bottomed out - too low and too wide. At the very least , my breast pockets needed to be repaired to lift the implants back up. I was also advised that I would need to add an internal bra (dermal grafts) and it would be good to switch implants as well (silicone and smaller).
So far this has been one of the most frustrating experiences I have ever been through. My breasts are not what I thought they be, I don't like the way they look. Every time I look in the mirror, I get depressed. Even looking in the mirror with a bra on makes me sad, with my areolas and sometimes nipple popping out. "I haven't had any kids, what could go wrong," I thought before my surgery. I don't regret having the surgery done, but I wish I had gone to a different doctor. But what's done is done and I'll never know if the same thing could have happened with a different doctor. It probably would not have been so frustrating if my doctor had been better at addressing my complications, concerns, and questions.
After emailing my plastic surgeons' staff and asking about his revision surgery policy, I finally got my PS to agree to do the revision surgery. My surgery is booked for the first week in July for a capsulorrhaphy (as suggested by my PS). I am nervous about what my next results will be. I question if the pocket tightening procedure will be enough and the bottoming out will happen again too soon. I also worry that my results might end up worse than before. I don't want to keep doing surgeries to fix my breasts!
One month to go! I'm just so tired of having this elephant in the room.

Looking forward to crossing this next stepping stone. Nervous of course, of what the doctor will say about my condition this time, since he told me at every visit before that he thought my breasts looked just fine. I'm tired of having to decide what I should or should not do. Along with if I do decide to switch implants, size, or use other methods for durability and how much more that will all cost. Non of which I or my boyfriend can really fork out at the moment. I'm just mentally worn down over the two large elephants in the room. I just want to have my implants fixed... Fixed and not have to think/worry about getting them fixed again or replaced for a long time.

I want them to be what I thought they were going to be! I'm not very optimistic about the animation deformity though. I hate it and it may just be something I will just have to live with. The constant reminder of it every day, all day long, makes me sad.

So far after weighing out my pros and cons of saline vs silicone, I think I may stay with the same Mod Plus saline implants I have already. If the rippling does not get much worse than it is now, I could live with it. Their weight does still concern me though and I worry about bottoming out again all too soon.

Decisions, decisions, decisions..... Blah! Why couldn't it have all gone right and smooth the first time?!

I worry that because I am so emotionally and mentally worn down over this whole mess, I might not say or express all of my former concerns. I just want it done and over with and not have to care or worry about it ever again! I just want them to be something I'm proud of, something I would want to show off!

I had my pre op two days ago. I've decided to keep the implants I have. My surgeon said that to keep me within a "D" randge, he would only suggest going down 50cc's. I don't feel that 50cc's is enough to warrent new implants. I listed the pros and cons between saline and silicone on a piece of paper. And right now, where I'm at, and the more I have learned, I still think saline is best for now. I say for now, because things could always change in a few months or years.

I'm only having the pockets repaired at this time. My surgeon said there is only a 5% failure rate (Another surgeon told me 15% - 20%).

My boyfriend said he would support whatever decision I make for the up coming surgery, whether that means buying new implants or not. He assured me that if things don't work out, we would deal with it then when we come to it. He just wants to make sure I am happy with them.

Surgery is in 6 days. Wearing one of those attractive surgical bras is not how I envisioned my summer.