Tubular Breast Reconstruction

Feel like it's time to start a review! :) I hated...

Feel like it's time to start a review! :)
I hated my tubular breasts when I was growing up and was so expecting them to continue growing. Even when I was 20 I still got my hopes up because I read an article about how they can start growing again in your twenties. I pretty much figured it out when I was 16 though and was just in denial. I cried about them every day because of course the media always puts such an emphasis on breasts and men can look at nice ones whenever they want and I always felt so self-conscious. I felt like no one would ever find me attractive. I never let boyfriends see me naked except on odd ocassions where I knew I'd be cold enough to keep them perky (cuz they look almost normal when I'm cold). I finally was able to get over how ugly they looked when I realized guys were still interested in me and I realized that I can just keep my bra on whenever I want (not sure why that took "realizing" lol). Anyhow, then I got pregnant, and I was about three months in and my breasts did not change at all. So I started looking things up, and I came across a breastfeeding site that mentioned not all women have breasts that produce milk (or enough milk for a baby to survive off of), and if your breasts don't grow during pregnancy, that's the first sign that your breasts aren't changing and getting ready to make milk. The second sign is appearance, and it showed a picture of typical breasts of women unable to breastfeed, and they all looked like mine and the site described them as tubular. I knew immediately that i fit into that group of women even though I hadn't been seen by a lactation consultant (I later saw three who all confirmed it). So once again I was hating my body because i felt like it was betraying my daughter and it felt like a part of me (my breasts) was trying to kill her (postpartum hormones are kinda crazy). I felt like my body had turned on my daughter, and again I was crying harder than I ever had in my life. It's hard to explain, but thigs are so different when it comes to your baby. My body actually did turn on me and I had to be induced otherwise I likely would have died, but it didn't bother me emotionally at all, but then when it turned on my daughter like that, I can't explain the rage and frustration I had towards myself. Just giving some history as to what's driving me to get a boob job lol. (Just FYI for some of you who have tubular breasts and want to breastfeed, it's still possible to partially breastfeed, and for some lucky ladies, it's possible to exclusively breastfeed. It's just a lot of work because the milk isn't coming naturally to tubular breasts). So I decided if I can't use then to feed babies, I'd better be able to use them for sex! They need to be able to do something other than polish up my phone screen haha (and even that involves wearing a bra/shirt! Stupid boobs haha).
Ok! Emotional train wreck story over. lol. These are my options that I'm thinking of pursuing:

Highly skilled ps on the west coast, saline implants (aiming for an a/b cup- I like small perky breasts), circumareolar mastopexy (donut/benilli lift), and radial incisions (where they cut the constriction of the lower pole of the breasts so that you don't get the double bubble look). $7,000
Pros: less expensive, fun times In California, I've seen the surgeons work and know he's very very talented. Everything is ready to go with this plastic surgeon if I choose to go with him.
Cons: I'd prefer fat grafting over implants since there's no risk of capsular contracture or rupture etc.

Highly skilled ps on the east coast who specializes in natural methods, involves wearing the brava device for a month, rigottomies (needles) to release the constriction in the lower pole, fat grafting to the breast.
Pros: fat grafting, and he uses a method where he lipos the thinner fat cells rather than the fat cells of a really fatty area, that way the fat is less likely to be re absorbed by the body.
Cons: expensive because there are numerous flights on top of that cost, plus you have to buy the brava device. Also, might be a pain to wear that thing, and I'm also waiting to hear back from the plastic surgeon still- I wanted to do a donut lift with the fat grafting so that my areolas would be less puffy, but I don't know if he would do that as an option because he seems to prefer natural techniques .. Also, the final result isn't quite as good as the first plastic surgeon, but still the best I've seen for fat grafting, and fat grafting seems more like my thing ..

Plastic surgeon here in Canada. I'm meeting with him soon to see what his work is like an what my options are. He's got a lot of experience with tubular breasts, but I'm not sure what they'll look like afterwards and what his procedures are. He doesn't post his pics online so I'll see when I meet with him.
Pros: less travel time and costs, he does financing so I don't have to pay it all upfront.
Cons: not sure yet.

I'll add photos as soon as I can, and thanks for reading!

Met with the local doctor!

He seemed really nice and humble, not at all what I was expecting actually haha. He mentioned that since I'm looking to go smaller, I'll more than likely be able to get the shape I want (since what I want is about a b cup). I guess the bigger you go the trickier it can be because the skin is so tight and constricted that it will sometimes push bigger implants up (and kinda look like pecs :$) even if you do release the constrictions in the lower pole. I like areolas in the middle of the breast and not a huge upper pole .. But anyway, I haven't seen pictures of his work yet, and I just went through the doctor in California's work again and he does such a good job ... So I'm still kinda on the fence. Oh and the doctor mentioned I wouldn't be able to lift my daughter for 3-4 weeks. Since I don't have anyone to help me lift, and I obviously can't avoid lifting my daughter (just a little baby!) it's looking like I'll be doing this next next summer (2015). I guess that works anyway because I'll have more money by then and hopefully won't need to finance. It was exciting to meet with a doctor though!

And some wish pics :) actual and tubular reconstruction

I think they all turned out great! I just like the non tubular ones because a) they are smaller (it seems like everyone with tubular breasts ends up with d cup +). And b) the areola are smaller and also more centered in the breast. But they're all good!

One doctor out of the running ...

Got another quote from the local doctor for $3000 more than his original quote, so I'm either going with the Florida or California doctor ...

Finally happening

I've been waiting forever as I'm sure you can tell by how long this review has been happening for. I ran into some health issues plus some other road blocks and had to put surgery off. I'm finally at the point where I've got my surgery booked and I couldn't be more excited to finally be normal. I decided to give fat grafting a shot, and if I hate it I'll get revision with implants because there is just no way in heck I can live like this anymore or let anyone see what I look like without a shirt on. Surgery is booked for early November, I'll give more details about the doctor in a bit. Next week I have an appointment to get fitted for the BRAVA which I'll be wearing for three weeks before surgery. I don't want big breasts (gorgeous as they are, I just would prefer to avoid implants and I know big breasts aren't possible with fat grafting). I really just want normal b cup breasts that are perky and round. I'm a bit nervous that the doctor won't be able to lower that inframammary fold as much as I want him too, but as long as he can do that and fill up the lower pole and the inside/outside portion of my boobs, I'll be happy. Pre-op is end of October. Less than a month till surgery, guys! I can't believe this is finally happening!! Send positive thoughts my way. I wanna like my titties ;)

Ideal pics

Pics of what I want and what I'd prefer not to have as results (to each their own!)

Feeling scared.

I had the brava fitting today and I feel so anxious. I really hate the thought of surgery and really dont want to do it, but I feel like it's my only choice. I couldn't imagine living the rest of my life with these breasts or trying to have sex without a bra on.
When I got the pictures done at the surgeons office today I was so embarrassed to be naked and angry at my body for looking like this, and I thought wow I couldn't imagine trying to combine this awfulness with sex. I'm feel like this needs to be done, but I'm just scared of the surgery and would love any encouragement or to hear your stories.
These are the things I'm scared of:
- having a serious reaction to the anesthesia and dying (I've had two nearly heart-stopping/breath-stopping experiences with anesthesia in the past 3 years, fortunately didn't die). I had all the bad symtoms from being unable to breathe to burning skin all over my body to ringing in the ears and feeling like I was going to throw up. This was a reaction to lydocaine, and the doctor knows that it happened and will be using general anesthesia anyway. The scary part is that both times it happened were long after the anesthesia was stopped - one was 8 hours later, the other 3 days later. I'm doing the overnight stay in the surgery facility which is right next to the hospital just in case. Send positive vibes please ;)
- I'm scared I'll do all this work and risk my life going under and that my breasts will still be tuberous and I'll need another procedure. I figure fat grafting is still the better option here because even if you get implants it's nearly certain that you'll need them replaced at some point. Since i feel like I'll be needing additional surgery no matter what, I would rather just get it over with now and not need to worry about the future.
-I'm scared the lipo will mess up the rest of my body. I'm fairly thin (5"5, 125 pounds), and I've seen pictures where people get all lumpy and dented looking from lipo and I just want to be smooth looking. I like the rest of my body how it is and hope I still like it after.
-for some reason I stop breathing in my sleep and I have no results from the sleep study that I did as to what's causing it so if for some reason the anesthesia makes me not breathe, doctors won't have any history on me as to what's causing it.
-just scared of General lipo/fat graft reactions like embolisms (which run in my family).
I'm especially worried because I'm a single mom and if anything ever happened to me, I cant even put it in words. She has no dad so she'd be on her own with my parents. I just wanna spend years upon years with my daughter watching her grow and learn.
This is what's stressing me, but I was super stressed before this all started to fall into place as well at the thought of living like this. I just want a normal sex life and hope that I can feel normal after just one procedure. I don't want to have to do this all more than once.
Thank you for reading all of my negativity and worries. Just writing this has helped me calm down.

So, wearing the brava for 3 weeks now. :| I'll let you guys know how my first night wearing it went! And I'll do pictures soon too!

Wore the brava for the first time.

I just wrote the longest update and it got deleted!
The gist of it was that I wore the brava last night and feel (can't see) a difference in my breasts already. They are softer and tender/sorr like during puberty/early pregnancy. I felt like it was going to be stressful to wear because it's such a crazy contraption, but it didn't bother me at all. It was a bit heavy on my chest as I slept, but I propped myself up on the pillows and that helped. The suction felt like breastfeeding and wasn't uncomfortable at all.
I'm also not feeling so scared any more because wearing the brava felt like a step in the right direction and I'm finally doing what I've been wanting to do for ages. And the chances of anything bad happen are so slim, and I'm not as constricted as some women and am hopeful that I can get this all done in one procedure. I'm almost there! Less than three weeks!
I'm supposed to change the vacuum intensity every couple of hours or so (using a hand pump and pressure gauge), so since I'm doing this at night I'll be setting an alarm to wake me up and make sure I'm doing this right.
I wrote way more than that before, dont remember what else I babbled for for so long though lol.

Before pics.

I'll try to get better ones later. I wanted to get a pic of what they look like when they are cold/stimulated but couldn't get cold enough.
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