Tubular Breast Reconstruction

Feel like it's time to start a review! :) I hated...

Feel like it's time to start a review! :)
I hated my tubular breasts when I was growing up and was so expecting them to continue growing. Even when I was 20 I still got my hopes up because I read an article about how they can start growing again in your twenties. I pretty much figured it out when I was 16 though and was just in denial. I cried about them every day because of course the media always puts such an emphasis on breasts and men can look at nice ones whenever they want and I always felt so self-conscious. I felt like no one would ever find me attractive. I never let boyfriends see me naked except on odd ocassions where I knew I'd be cold enough to keep them perky (cuz they look almost normal when I'm cold). I finally was able to get over how ugly they looked when I realized guys were still interested in me and I realized that I can just keep my bra on whenever I want (not sure why that took "realizing" lol). Anyhow, then I got pregnant, and I was about three months in and my breasts did not change at all. So I started looking things up, and I came across a breastfeeding site that mentioned not all women have breasts that produce milk (or enough milk for a baby to survive off of), and if your breasts don't grow during pregnancy, that's the first sign that your breasts aren't changing and getting ready to make milk. The second sign is appearance, and it showed a picture of typical breasts of women unable to breastfeed, and they all looked like mine and the site described them as tubular. I knew immediately that i fit into that group of women even though I hadn't been seen by a lactation consultant (I later saw three who all confirmed it). So once again I was hating my body because i felt like it was betraying my daughter and it felt like a part of me (my breasts) was trying to kill her (postpartum hormones are kinda crazy). I felt like my body had turned on my daughter, and again I was crying harder than I ever had in my life. It's hard to explain, but thigs are so different when it comes to your baby. My body actually did turn on me and I had to be induced otherwise I likely would have died, but it didn't bother me emotionally at all, but then when it turned on my daughter like that, I can't explain the rage and frustration I had towards myself. Just giving some history as to what's driving me to get a boob job lol. (Just FYI for some of you who have tubular breasts and want to breastfeed, it's still possible to partially breastfeed, and for some lucky ladies, it's possible to exclusively breastfeed. It's just a lot of work because the milk isn't coming naturally to tubular breasts). So I decided if I can't use then to feed babies, I'd better be able to use them for sex! They need to be able to do something other than polish up my phone screen haha (and even that involves wearing a bra/shirt! Stupid boobs haha).
Ok! Emotional train wreck story over. lol. These are my options that I'm thinking of pursuing:

OPTION 1:
Highly skilled ps on the west coast, saline implants (aiming for an a/b cup- I like small perky breasts), circumareolar mastopexy (donut/benilli lift), and radial incisions (where they cut the constriction of the lower pole of the breasts so that you don't get the double bubble look). $7,000
Pros: less expensive, fun times In California, I've seen the surgeons work and know he's very very talented. Everything is ready to go with this plastic surgeon if I choose to go with him.
Cons: I'd prefer fat grafting over implants since there's no risk of capsular contracture or rupture etc.

OPTION 2:
Highly skilled ps on the east coast who specializes in natural methods, involves wearing the brava device for a month, rigottomies (needles) to release the constriction in the lower pole, fat grafting to the breast.
$11,000-13,000
Pros: fat grafting, and he uses a method where he lipos the thinner fat cells rather than the fat cells of a really fatty area, that way the fat is less likely to be re absorbed by the body.
Cons: expensive because there are numerous flights on top of that cost, plus you have to buy the brava device. Also, might be a pain to wear that thing, and I'm also waiting to hear back from the plastic surgeon still- I wanted to do a donut lift with the fat grafting so that my areolas would be less puffy, but I don't know if he would do that as an option because he seems to prefer natural techniques .. Also, the final result isn't quite as good as the first plastic surgeon, but still the best I've seen for fat grafting, and fat grafting seems more like my thing ..

OPTION 3:
Plastic surgeon here in Canada. I'm meeting with him soon to see what his work is like an what my options are. He's got a lot of experience with tubular breasts, but I'm not sure what they'll look like afterwards and what his procedures are. He doesn't post his pics online so I'll see when I meet with him.
$7,500
Pros: less travel time and costs, he does financing so I don't have to pay it all upfront.
Cons: not sure yet.

I'll add photos as soon as I can, and thanks for reading!

Met with the local doctor!

He seemed really nice and humble, not at all what I was expecting actually haha. He mentioned that since I'm looking to go smaller, I'll more than likely be able to get the shape I want (since what I want is about a b cup). I guess the bigger you go the trickier it can be because the skin is so tight and constricted that it will sometimes push bigger implants up (and kinda look like pecs :$) even if you do release the constrictions in the lower pole. I like areolas in the middle of the breast and not a huge upper pole .. But anyway, I haven't seen pictures of his work yet, and I just went through the doctor in California's work again and he does such a good job ... So I'm still kinda on the fence. Oh and the doctor mentioned I wouldn't be able to lift my daughter for 3-4 weeks. Since I don't have anyone to help me lift, and I obviously can't avoid lifting my daughter (just a little baby!) it's looking like I'll be doing this next next summer (2015). I guess that works anyway because I'll have more money by then and hopefully won't need to finance. It was exciting to meet with a doctor though!

And some wish pics :) actual and tubular reconstruction

I think they all turned out great! I just like the non tubular ones because a) they are smaller (it seems like everyone with tubular breasts ends up with d cup +). And b) the areola are smaller and also more centered in the breast. But they're all good!

One doctor out of the running ...

Got another quote from the local doctor for $3000 more than his original quote, so I'm either going with the Florida or California doctor ...

Finally happening

I've been waiting forever as I'm sure you can tell by how long this review has been happening for. I ran into some health issues plus some other road blocks and had to put surgery off. I'm finally at the point where I've got my surgery booked and I couldn't be more excited to finally be normal. I decided to give fat grafting a shot, and if I hate it I'll get revision with implants because there is just no way in heck I can live like this anymore or let anyone see what I look like without a shirt on. Surgery is booked for early November, I'll give more details about the doctor in a bit. Next week I have an appointment to get fitted for the BRAVA which I'll be wearing for three weeks before surgery. I don't want big breasts (gorgeous as they are, I just would prefer to avoid implants and I know big breasts aren't possible with fat grafting). I really just want normal b cup breasts that are perky and round. I'm a bit nervous that the doctor won't be able to lower that inframammary fold as much as I want him too, but as long as he can do that and fill up the lower pole and the inside/outside portion of my boobs, I'll be happy. Pre-op is end of October. Less than a month till surgery, guys! I can't believe this is finally happening!! Send positive thoughts my way. I wanna like my titties ;)

Ideal pics

Pics of what I want and what I'd prefer not to have as results (to each their own!)

Feeling scared.

I had the brava fitting today and I feel so anxious. I really hate the thought of surgery and really dont want to do it, but I feel like it's my only choice. I couldn't imagine living the rest of my life with these breasts or trying to have sex without a bra on.
When I got the pictures done at the surgeons office today I was so embarrassed to be naked and angry at my body for looking like this, and I thought wow I couldn't imagine trying to combine this awfulness with sex. I'm feel like this needs to be done, but I'm just scared of the surgery and would love any encouragement or to hear your stories.
These are the things I'm scared of:
- having a serious reaction to the anesthesia and dying (I've had two nearly heart-stopping/breath-stopping experiences with anesthesia in the past 3 years, fortunately didn't die). I had all the bad symtoms from being unable to breathe to burning skin all over my body to ringing in the ears and feeling like I was going to throw up. This was a reaction to lydocaine, and the doctor knows that it happened and will be using general anesthesia anyway. The scary part is that both times it happened were long after the anesthesia was stopped - one was 8 hours later, the other 3 days later. I'm doing the overnight stay in the surgery facility which is right next to the hospital just in case. Send positive vibes please ;)
- I'm scared I'll do all this work and risk my life going under and that my breasts will still be tuberous and I'll need another procedure. I figure fat grafting is still the better option here because even if you get implants it's nearly certain that you'll need them replaced at some point. Since i feel like I'll be needing additional surgery no matter what, I would rather just get it over with now and not need to worry about the future.
-I'm scared the lipo will mess up the rest of my body. I'm fairly thin (5"5, 125 pounds), and I've seen pictures where people get all lumpy and dented looking from lipo and I just want to be smooth looking. I like the rest of my body how it is and hope I still like it after.
-for some reason I stop breathing in my sleep and I have no results from the sleep study that I did as to what's causing it so if for some reason the anesthesia makes me not breathe, doctors won't have any history on me as to what's causing it.
-just scared of General lipo/fat graft reactions like embolisms (which run in my family).
I'm especially worried because I'm a single mom and if anything ever happened to me, I cant even put it in words. She has no dad so she'd be on her own with my parents. I just wanna spend years upon years with my daughter watching her grow and learn.
This is what's stressing me, but I was super stressed before this all started to fall into place as well at the thought of living like this. I just want a normal sex life and hope that I can feel normal after just one procedure. I don't want to have to do this all more than once.
Thank you for reading all of my negativity and worries. Just writing this has helped me calm down.

So, wearing the brava for 3 weeks now. :| I'll let you guys know how my first night wearing it went! And I'll do pictures soon too!

Wore the brava for the first time.

I just wrote the longest update and it got deleted!
The gist of it was that I wore the brava last night and feel (can't see) a difference in my breasts already. They are softer and tender/sorr like during puberty/early pregnancy. I felt like it was going to be stressful to wear because it's such a crazy contraption, but it didn't bother me at all. It was a bit heavy on my chest as I slept, but I propped myself up on the pillows and that helped. The suction felt like breastfeeding and wasn't uncomfortable at all.
I'm also not feeling so scared any more because wearing the brava felt like a step in the right direction and I'm finally doing what I've been wanting to do for ages. And the chances of anything bad happen are so slim, and I'm not as constricted as some women and am hopeful that I can get this all done in one procedure. I'm almost there! Less than three weeks!
I'm supposed to change the vacuum intensity every couple of hours or so (using a hand pump and pressure gauge), so since I'm doing this at night I'll be setting an alarm to wake me up and make sure I'm doing this right.
I wrote way more than that before, dont remember what else I babbled for for so long though lol.

Before pics.

I'll try to get better ones later. I wanted to get a pic of what they look like when they are cold/stimulated but couldn't get cold enough.

Surgery day

Had the surgery today. Wasn't nervous at all until I actually got here, but then I did a meditation and prayed and was super blissful and still am! Surgery was at 4:00, and now it's midnigh. My pain is honestly 0.25/10 haha. I know the anesthesia still needs to wear off and I did take a Percocet or 2? At about 6. The pain is less now than it was at 6pm, dropped from about a 0.5 haha. I'm very lucky! Breasts feel fine. Doctor took from outer thighs/back of thighs under the butt and love handles in order to contour the butt to make it look rounder. I'm in a compression garment so I can't see what I look like at all, but when I went to the bathroom I could see I still look feminine and curvy in the hips which makes me happy. I also took a little peek down at my breasts and he was able to get the fat nice and full in between the breasts. It looks like he got it well under ye breasts as well. When I woke up he said it will look amazing after the second surgery haha so I'm thinking they must not be perfect or to his standards yet. Fine by me anyway because I'd love to have fat taken from my inner thighs as well. This has gone so smoothly so far and I can't believe how lucky I am. I can't wait to see what they look like! I really didn't want big. Just normal. An they are looking way closer to normal from what I can see. And I have had no bad reactions to anesthesia which is a huge blessing. I feel great! I'm hoping it continues to be fairly mild pain that I can control with Tylenol and not even need my Oxys. I'll post pics once I can get this garment off. ?????? So happy!

Peeing in the compression garment.

A tip I wish I would have known!
For far grafting you have to wear a liposuction garment with a hole for peeing. I got pee all over mine the first time. Dried it the best I can and am waiting for the doctor. The second time I really stuck my butt out and opened my legs wide as I could when I squatted and everything stayed dry. That's the way to pee guys! ;)

Brava not sticking/leaking air

Totally forgot to update about this. My brava started to get all worn from the constant auction and started to actually give into the suction and leak air, making it not be a vacuum on my breasts like its supposed to. The edges of the brava actually flipped right under and would get suctioned as well. I went to medical supply store and bought a medical adhesive used for ostomies. It's called Adapt by Hollister, it's a spray adhesive, and it leaves a sticky residue on the brava cups similar to what it originally comes with (only a bit stronger, really). Think like that sticky stuff that you have to peel off a new credit card only way stickier. I was able to get much better suction out of the brava once I applied this. Again, it can be found in the ostomy section of a medical supply store. You need "remove" wipes too (adhesive disolvant) - should be right next to the adhesive. The first couple times i wore the brava after applying that adhesive, some adhesive stuck to my chest and was hard to remove without those wipes. Buy just a small box - you won't need them for long.
Hope that helps anyone who has had problems with their brava losing stickiness.
Feeling pretty good still guys! Stiff, but moving helps so much! It feels great to walk around.

4 days post op

Things are going well here. I never took my Oxys, down to one extra strength Tylenol every four hours. My breasts don't hurt at all anymore, although I'm not raising my arms above my head still. My thighs and hips burn slightly, but nothing I can't handle.
I was able to take a good look at my breasts today. My doctor doesn't have his patients use the brava after fat grafting, so they've been wrapped and I haven't seen them fully until today. He told me beforehand and after I came out of the surgery that I'd need more than one operation as he didn't think he'd be able to fix all the constriction in one go.
He really did a great job filling out in between the breasts, outside the breasts (like going towards the armpit) and above the areola. Doesn't show much in this pic but I have good side boob and those regions are round enough for me. The under part of the breast is still pretty constricted though, so I'm hoping the second operation focuses more on the lower pole. There is some fat there now, and there's more of gradual slope happening even though it's still constricted. Before it was rib cage under the areola and all skin and bones. Still looks tuberous underneath, but definitely less so. I really trust that my doctor will be able to fill out that lower pole with the second operation because he'll be working with a bit of fat in that region to begin with this time, and he did a great job with all other areas of my breast. His nurse told me that it might take three fat graft sessions, but I'm ok with that. I've seen other women on realself and on doctors sites get it all done in one operation, but I think the doctor takes the fat from everywhere and injects it all at once, which would make recovery so much harder. We'll see where it goes. The doctor said I can book the second fat graft session three months after the first, so early February. Post op appt is in two days, so I'll be booking it then. I was wanting my inner thighs liposuctioned anyway so this is no big deal.
For now, I feel like this is a huge improvement. I'm excited to see what I look like after the second sessions, but this already makes me feel better about myself.

More pics

Just wanna show the difference lighting makes in how they look. In the one pic I'm directly under the light and they look much rounder - this is close to the final look I'm hoping to achieve. In the second pic I literally just took one step back and you can see the whole areola is still puffy and out there and there really isn't much fat under the breast. I'm hoping he an fill that out with the next session.
The doctor is Mitchell Brown in Toronto, by the way, and the cost was 9500 CAD. For some reason I can't update the title or cost or date or doctor on my review .. Gonna figure that out at some point though.
In really happy with the first step though. It's a noticeable difference and healing has been so easy and doable. I'm already way more comfortable with my body.

Post op today.

Had my post op appt today. I wa a little disappointed in the morning at how tuberous my breast still look, but the appt helped a lot. The doctor said that the bit of fat he was able to get into the lower breast will work to break up the constricted tissue there over the next few months so that next time I do brava and fat grafting, that area will really be able to take the fat. I remember reading that on Dr. Khouri's website as well, so that's really hopeful for me. I'm hoping he can put all the fat under the areola in the next operation. And I'm hoping that I need just the one more operation, even though recovery was so manageable, it's taking a toll on my family because my mom has to help so much with my daughter.
They're calling me tomorrow and next operation will be early February.
Also took the compression garment off for the first time and my butt is cuter than it's ever been in its entire life haha. And my hips are still curvy but there's swelling there so they might be less curvy as that swelling goes down. I hope not though because they look good right now.
I'm hopeful that the next surgery will get me looking normal. I really don't want huge breasts. Just normal. Small is attractive in my opinion, honestly. I just want a serious lower pole. There's definitely a foundation started now, so at least it's progress!
Oh last thing, each breast got
270 mLs of fat.
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