Deceiving Low BMI Hoping to End Decades of Dieting! - Mexico

Hi Everyone!
I am excited to be writing about my own experience. Like all of you, I have been dieting since I was 14. I was one of those girls that would lay out in the sun with Crisco and Saran Wrap, drinking Tab and hoping to get a tan while " reducing". These were the 70s! I went to Weight Watchers for the first time in that era, learned what a legume was and started my relationship with my Angry Inner Dieter. I have been much heavier than I am now and got down to an early Oprah weight loss of 130 pounds...only to see that number run back into the land of unicorns from wence it came. I am hoping I don't get flack from my fellow sleeves when I'm in Mexico because I am not at a higher BMI. The weight I am now does not represent my experience. I'm nervous about a lot of things. Let's face it, this is a big decision. Yikes!

*Weight Watchers: probably 5-7 times a member. Reached goal once.
*Body for Life: Muscled up on a ton of fart producing protein drinks while working with a trainer at 5am 3 days a week. Didn't win the $100k and gained it all back plus souvenir pounds.
*Herbalife: Seriously disgusting. Reached goal, bounced back.
*Overeaters Anonymous: had to call my sponsor at 6am every day and tell her what I was going to eat for the day on the "Grey Sheet Diet". How depressing and East German could it be? I became a sugar free gum addict on this one. I felt so conspicuous about the amount of gum I was chewing that I made rounds to different stores to buy my stash. I don't know if anyone else has been a chain chewer, but it's pretty gross. I was in beauty school at the time and had to blame my nasty farts on perm solution.
*What was the one with Balance Bars? This was the one that got me to the unicorn weight of 130. This only happened because I was dating a kind of food Nazi.
*3 Cs Diet: I made this up after my first WW failure. It was an insane idea of consuming only Cabbage, Carrots and Coffee. I was probably 15. Needless to say, this was a foul day long experiment that left me prostrate on my bed with a constant natural gas phenomenon. I don't think my sister will ever forget opening my bedroom door. She actually started choking. Sad.
*HCG: I lost 20 pounds in 40 days. It was torture. Of course.
These are the ones I remember right now. It has felt like a war. I am hoping to have a different experience with my body. I'm so tired of fighting and trying to love myself through it all.

5'6"
Highest weight: 215
Appointment weight: 197
Projected surgery weight: 187
Current weight: 193

This 2 week pre-op diet is for the birds. I'm actually having a post traumatic response to it. The shakes, the hunger, the longing. It's like the green mile. I hate it. Also, I am not doing a great job. I hope a good effort in my last week will make up for the so-so attitude I've had about it this week.