She Who Nose One Nose None.-Sydney, AU

So like everyone else who posts reveiws here, after years of procrastinating I have finally decided to do this for myself. Until I was 13 years old I was a happy girl, outgoing and with many friends. And then puberty happened.
Whilst puberty does horrible things to everyone most people come out on the other end looking better than during the middle of it. I lucked out however. Not only did my nose outgrow me and form a bump on it, but after years of being excited about one day being able to wear pretty bras and strapless tops I never grew any breasts. Now I'm not talking about all these girls that call themselves flat because they wear a B cup. I don't even fill an A. Where I live, in Australia, it's impossible to find a size 8AA.

Although I feel as though I was cheated out of something during puberty I can live with being petite. I work in the rag trade and the majority of models I know are flat also. But for 5 years through high school I was bullied terribly for my nose. I mean I could not walk down a path between classes without having names called out at me. I spent half of my high school trying to be invisible so no one would notice me and call me names. It wasn't one kid, it was about 15 kids, impossible to avoid them all. I had terrible depression as a teen, I dreaded every day that I had to leave the house. What if I was out in public and one of my bullies saw me?

So 7 years post high school, although I now don't care what any of those kids think or say anymore, I still suffer anxiety in social situations. When I meet new people, how long will it take before they notice my nose? Will they find me unatractive because of that? And how long will it take for them to ask me if I have ever broken my nose? (They always do, and somehow it fells like if I had, that would make my nose acceptable)

I am sick of looking in the mirror, or at profile photographs of myself and having a constant reminder of how horrible that time of my life was. My sense of self worth was so low that I thought of killing myself almost everyday. I am sick of feeling anxious every time I start a new job, meet new friends, or when I am dating.

So after years of torturing myself with these obsurd anxieties I am doing something about it. Not for all the people who look at my nose, because I know that people pay far less attention to me than my vanity would like to think, I am doing it for myself so that I can finally be the confident person I want to be.

So, watch this space...