Journey to reclaim my body and self-esteem. I'm...
Journey to reclaim my body and self-esteem. I'm not sure at what point I accepted my post baby body but when I looked in the mirror I didn't even see the stretch marks and loose skin. I am sure it was around that time that I also started to gain weight, I just stopped caring what I looked like. I ate whatever I wanted and really took comfort in food and I stopped working out. I also stopped getting my hair and nails done regularly and buying new clothing for myself (probably because shopping for cloths was not fun on my heavier body). For the past few years I've lost weight only to gain it back eventually, that really brought me down. I never reached my pre-baby weight after my third child (I got close a couple times).
Then one day I asked myself who are you? I had become self-conscious of my weight (more the shape of my body), how I presented myself to the world or rather didn't I was becoming a hermit, easily done as a SAHM. This was completely opposite of who I was. I was the kind of woman to walk into a room with confidence and I never found the need to compare myself with others. I was just that confident and self assured. I want her back, I want to become her again but need a little help. A boost in the right direction.
My current weight is 190. Having the surgery to look forward to has motivated me in the area of health. I'm hoping to get closer to 180 by surgery date, Apr 11th and to actively lose some weight after this surgery as well. I am having a TT and lipo of back, flanks and thighs. I prefer a curvy body, I have lots of curves, haha, but less of them and in to right places would be nice.
New date and calm thoughts
My surgery date has been moved back to the 13 of Apr. My pre-op appointment is the 23rd of March, I'm excited! I've been feeling really good about the upcoming surgery. I have a lot of confidence in Dr. Leber, he has beautiful work.
I had my first dream about my "after" body, it was a very good dream, I loved the results! I woke up feeling happy and even more ready. Less than a month to go!
I'm so ready!
Just had the best pre-op apt! All questions answered, I'm feeling very confident in my PS and excited! Exactly 3 weeks to go!
The countdown has begun!!!
Slowly cleaning the house and wrapping things up!!! Took my labs and picking up prescriptions today. I have been working out like mad but weight loss... meh. Still, I think of how much I'm strengthening my heart and body in preparation! After all I am asking it (my body) to do something really big for me. Survive, heal nicely and recover well :D I'm so ready!
Took the pillows back (uncomfortable), planning to rent an electronic recliner for a month, we'll see. Nerves!!! Woke up at 4a.m. last night and couldn't get back to sleep thinking on what could happen. Lots of praying and thinking about my children and hubby. I'm sure all will be well. I'm beginning to imagine a beautiful result.
I'll be lucky if I'm 190 at sugery. My weight has gone up a few pounds. I am however really proud of myself for maintaining a workout schedule and feel stronger and more prepared.
This weekend I got all nostalgic about my belly. Anyone else? I even let the kids say goodbye to my squishy mommy belly, lol. Idk I just really appreciate all she has done. Wow what a roller coaster this is.
13 Apr 2016
Day of treatment
Made it to the flat side!
On the at side!!!
13 Apr 2016
Day of treatment
Haven't been able to see anything but feelin pretty good! My period went off last night but the anesthesia started it back up all the staff says it normal. Haha. I wasn't nervous at all this am. Gotta in really early, went under really quick and came out of my sleep slowly. Everyone has been so awesome. Just resting now will update later. God bless answer healthy happy healing.
PO day 1
Home sweet home. Ride wasn't too bad slept through most of it still sleepy. Here's a picture.
We rented a power lift recliner for the month, it is saving my life. Makes getting up a and down so much easier. I will be sleeping in it too, it's very comfortable.
Day 2 swelling
Well I pee a lot. Before the lift chair was delivered that was a big strain on me. Last night after going to the bathroom I felt really weak and close to passing out. I think I hadn't had enough to eat. My hubby brought my chocolate pudding at my request and the strawberries. I was so hot too so he helped me remove some layers. Once cooled off and fed I felt so much better. Then I woke up cold and shivering lots of blankets and a Valium and I was good to go. Overall I feel a little stronger today. I can be on my feet a little longer. The recovery so far it much more easy than I thought it would be. Thank God! Happy healthy healing ladies.
I thank God for the husband. My husband is taking such good care of us all and me especially. He insisted that I rest a lot today, said I did too much yesterday. I awoke to a dinner tonight that was soooo delicious! I'm gonna miss him when he goes back to work.
Have any of you moms out there found safe ways to cuddle the little ones, I sense my baby misses our cuddles.
How it's been
Lots of gas. I started Colace after. Felt like I had to go, nothing. Thought I'd take it up a step day three used Dulcolax suppository... never again. Spent all day in and out of the bathroom feeling like I had to go but (TMI) nothing more than explosive farts. Day four I knew I had to go but was sure my garment was preventing it (TMI) plenty junk in the trunk if you will being squeezed together was never gonna allow a bm i could barely pass gas without lifting one side or squatting. So I took off my garment and waited and waited and finally day 4 bm. Just keep in it real ladies. Hahaha happy healthy healing.
I showered today (day 5). I was cleared to shower day two I believe but I wanted to wait until I felt strong and capable. (Not interest in passing out over here.) My hubby helped. It felt great! My tummy is really swollen but I love my bb. The lipo sites are really bruised and swollen as well but don't feel bad. Guess I'll start my arnica and bromelain hope it helps.
Please try not to get constipated! I was miserable most of the day yesterday and didn't finish until 2am of so. I will be going for a gallon of water a day. No more narcotics. More soft foods, I'll probably make butternut squash soup today. I will continue my green smoothies in the am. Maybe acv/water in the am as well. Gotta get this train rolling.
Oh and I weighed myself this morning, ladies don't do it. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
Ok for those who care to know... in Jan I decided i would get the tt and lipo. I was tried of struggling with my weight. For the past two years I went from around 205 to as low as 177 only to regain the weight over and over again. The last week of Jan i started working out slowly something I could maintain and I kinda watched what I ate. My weight loss was minimal a few lbs. However I feel my body changed quite a bit from the excersise. My goal was stronger heart and lungs to see me through surgery, so weight loss or lack of did not deter me. I believe I was around 197 in the first picture and 194 at surgery (I gained 4 lbs in the end). Around 193 in the second pic, and 4 days post the the last pic. I'm sharing this pic to show the progression over time.
My drains came out today, omgoodness I think I can stand up straight now! The removal was pretty quick, one drain I felt nothing, the other one seemed to move through my left side like it was finding it's way out of a labyrinth. Dr Leber also removed all my lipo stitches I feel great!
Look ma no drains!
8 dpo I can stand mostly straight but still need to rest a lot. Trying to take it extra easy since getting the drains out. I don't want to cause undue swelling, I'm swollen enough. I wonder when the tummy will be flat from the side?
So remember when my lipo sites didn't hurt... wowzers has that changed. By the e.o.d they are so tender and I let my hubby rub them last night, yikes! I can get up more easily from the bed now, but not always. I can stand mostly straight and walk around but not for prolonged periods. I sit and lie down a lot, maybe too much but I'm giving myself that until I reach two weeks. Then once my bb stitches are removed and the tape is off my incision I'll start taking walks as my body permits and going back to my full time SAHM duties. It's important to listen to your own body remember if you decide to do this or have done this your journey will be your own and may not look like anyone else's. All the best to you and happy healthy healing.
Scary TT scar
PS said as the tape "falls" off let it. This is yesterday, day 10. My scar therapy will be starting promptly at 3 weeks.
Feeling good. Got out of the house for a walk, felt good. Swelling mostly below bb. Tape was loose so I removed the loose tape, revealing the scar in the prior post.
Day 11. Woke up feeling really flat!!
Yay! woke up feeling energetic. Slept almost flat last night and in spanx tights. I couldn't handle anymore of my garment digging into my sides and ribs. Also felt I need tighter compression on my thighs. I woke up really flat! Also lying down I'm really flat as well! Exciting changes!!
I weighed myself yesterday and have lost 7lbs. I'm happy but know it should be more. I've never had that I can't eat anything feeling. So it's time to be mindful about what is going into my mouth. After all, when healing is done and results at the final state I still have weight to lose.
Busy day, ended the day very swollen and tired. Had a slight pulling/tingle in my upper right abs. I removed my tape in preparation for my two week apt. so here's my scar (and swollen belly).
Woke up feeling much better (less swelling). Had a complimentary facial before my 2 week po. That was nice! Dr. Leber checked for a seroma (I wasn't expecting it, and freaked out a little) but barely any fluid came out so that is good to know. Had my stitches removed from my BB, it's so cute. I was given the go ahead to start scar therapy at week three! Not many other changes.
Searching for balance
Lots of swelling in the evenings, by six I just want to get off my feet. This week was hubby's first week back to work and while I don't feel like I've been doing a lot, keeping up with a preschooler is obviously kicking my butt. I haven't even cleaned the house properly. My scar is so irritating right now. Itchy, raised, swollen and kinda red. Not sure if that is from friction or just part of the healing process. Wanting to be out and about while not doing too much is such a delicate balance at this stage.
So I also had lipo and wanted to give the lipo some love. However it's kinda hard because well it takes time for full lipo results to show and I'm hoping for improvements. For instance one of my thighs was larger than the other and from what I can see continues to be. This is why we go for ps right to correct the things we can not change. Anyway I really can't speak on it because well full result no in yet. So at 19 days po here we go and yes Mama's in need of a squat challenge!!!
Did anyone else do this?
Just for fun I would take before pics and then doctor them based on what my ps and I talked about. How awesome is it when you start to look like your own edit! I used the edit draw options on my phone to cover the fat so I could imagine the "after". Can't wait to see my results at three months out.
Just in time!
I can't wait to start with these.
Applied the Embrace, pretty easy. As an added bonus my scar is now free from friction/rubbing, I felt super sensitive by the eod. I think this is because my scar is really low in the middle and the garment moved folded and rubbed that area as a sat and stood throughout the day. They were just long enough to cover my scar end to end. Praying for amazing results!
Remember when I had that mommy tummy love fest post before my surgery, no, well I do but wth was I thinking lol. When I can lay on my side again I am glad that my tummy will no longer look like this. Why because when I woke up this morning it looked like this. Oh yeah feeling pretty good haha! Hope all you ladies are doing well and have a wonderful day, happy healthy healing!
Update, how I'm feeling.
Doing more and out and about a lot the weekend. Results swelling, so much so that I'm having a hard time standing upright. In the mornings I'm flat in the evenings I'm so swollen all over my tummy I feel like I may need fluid aspiration. I have to remind myself throughout the day to stand up straight and it feels like there's so much pulling. I have lots of little zings and movement type feelings, which I think are the nerves reconnecting. I measured my thighs and one is one once larger than the other :(. I took the time to rest most of the day today I felt like I really needed it. Gonna watch my salt intake more carefully as I know that makes me swell. Hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's day, God bless.
I have to first say I like the Embrace so far, no allergic reaction and easy to apply and comfortable to wear. I am most concerned with results but in the meantime this is how things are going. I purchased Embrace for TT, each box comes with 3 six inch strips (mine fit perfectly and are overlapping). I have 6 boxes and you wear the strips for 10 days, removing the evening before your next round to allow 12 to 24 hrs for you skin to breath. Condensation does collect underneath and is normal. It seems like mine have kinda shrink wrapped around my scar, leaving a small edge of adhesive which is sticky and a wrinkly appearance. Although this is also normal I'm concerned with a prominent fold center scar. I think it caused from wearing my compression garment. I will have to try and see if there is a way I can avoid that round 2. I am on round 1 day 7 of 10. That's about it.
Tomorrow marks the beginning of week 4. My thighs look and measure as big as ever. Swelling? All this sitting can't be helping. Having hubby bring in my treadmill tonight so I can start my daily walk tomorrow. (I'm scared to use the elliptical). Just gonna do what I can and build on that. I weighed myself a few days ago and was ten pounds down! Time to actively lose another ten!
4 weeks, first workout!!
Yay 4 weeks and feeling good!!!! My first workout was an easy thirty min walk at 2.2mph but i felt it. It felt good like my muscles in my thighs, hips and rear were awakened. I did some standing leg raises after. I worked out in my Marena garment, light compression.
I was so nervous trying to remove the Embrace, the tape that was removed before had taken the top layer of skin off, and the Embrace was really sticking good still. However the middle one had lifted at the bottom so at nine days I started the removal. I tried unsuccessfully out of the shower using a soapy rag, the adhesive was clinging to my skin like Venom in the Spiderman movie and it hurt. I added a little coconut oil on a q-tip to see if I could lift the edges, didn't help. I got in the shower hoping more water and soap would do the trick. It helped me get the edges a bit more but I couldn't remove the whole device. I had sent an email to my PS's nurse who replied back that no one had had problems with removal. I sent my husband out for Baby oil (the Embrace removal videos suggest it but I hadn't wanted to put it on my scar for some reason. Using two separate sections of gauze drenched on baby oil, one to hold the skin down (prevent pulling) and one to smooth the embrace away, kinda rolling it off and away from the gauze I was using to hold the skin down from being pulled. It was like magic! I don't know what's in Baby oil but whatever it is eats adhesive. Both my gauze were drenched in baby oil and they easily removed the embrace with no pulling. Next time I will remove them with the gauze and baby oil on dry skin to save myself the hassle and save my skin from all the pulling and clinging of the adhesive. The initial difficulty of removal gave me anxiety about reapplying the Embrace, last night I put on round 2 and I'm back on track. I took that time to massage my scar a bit. I did start to feel my scar again with Embrace off. My scar feels tight kinda like a braid going across my lower abs. I feel it pulling. The Embrace really does take the tension off of my incision and I don't feel it when wearing the Embrace. The results after nine days are not dramatic and I did not expect them to be, they suggest two to three months of use and still full benefits are seen at six months to a year from what I understand as the scar continues to mature. My scar is flatter and some of the indentations and creases are gone. Before pics right row, afters on left. I will post before and afters again when I finish the treatment.
Those abs though
I love my TT, that is all!
I'm doing well and my walks are going good. I finally got my period today. I'm getting around really well but in the evenings I do sometimes swell. At the first sign of swelling I go and sit it down and pretty much drink water nonstop for the rest of the day. Watch the salt intake that will make you swell and eating out can be tricky. I have so many clothes in my closet I couldn't wear there is no need shop right now. I tried on some older dresses just for fun some are still too small but I hope to get there. Happy healthy healing RS!
Update. I can lie on my sides and stomach but I still choose to sleep on my back. Lots of zings and piercing feeling in my abs and incision. My incision has improved an bit more with my second set of Embrace however I am disappointed with some hyper-pigmentation around my scar where the surgical tape was. Time will resolve that along with other things. I'm more and more concerned about uneven at my flanks and thighs. One side of my body is noticeable lumpier when viewed from the side. Not presently happy with my outer thigh lipo. My workouts were hit and miss this week, my diet sucked and I just finished the longest period I've ever had, no additional weight loss. I had a lot of swelling in my upper abs and around my bb this week not sure why.
Lipo update (6weeks)
Patience is a virtue, give it time. I'm trying ya'll. But when you love your TT as much as I do it's hard to not love the lipo. I have a larger thigh that is also lumpy. You can't see it much from the front but if I turn at a 45 degree and also from the back it is very obvious. I'm still hoping for improvement with time. If time doesn't resolve things... guess I will have to find out more about my options. Tomorrow I have my 6 week follow up.
I have definitely entered a swelling period, started about a week ago. Watching my salt intake and taking it easy where I can. I hope this passes soon. My tummy is so swollen.
One day til 9 weeks
14 Jun 2016
2 months post
Hello all, just wanted to check in. I'm feeling great! Went shopping and got a couple of items that fit. Btw Target has this Levi's brand Denizen, they're stretchy and very easy on that weird numb I hate the way jeans feel on my lower belly feeling. Omg, I have my old body back and it feels amazing! I always had a big a$$ and thick thighs and a small waistline and now I recognize my body again, I love it!
Looking forward to correcting some lipo irregularities in time. Not excited that I wil have the heal from it all over. Still swelling, more at night. Not freaking out about it as much now, kinda my new norm, but it's temporary so I'm taking it in stride. No pics l pretty much look the same. My scar is improving little by little with each new Embrace application. I hope everyone is doing awesome, happy healthy healing.
15 Jun 2016
2 months post
Hello RS's, I miss you guys not a lot of updates my way :( Decided I would update with pics, I don't really look any different but a pic update is needed since it's been about 3 weeks. My bb is healing well. At 6 weeks I had a small cut underneath my bb to remove a stitch that was never found and also had a shot of steroid to help what looks like a keloid forming heal. The dry flaky skin around my bb caused hyper-pigmentation, I'll be glad when that all lightens up. I still get stiff in the evenings after sitting too long (stretching eases the stiffness) and I swell quite a bit as well, besides those things I feel pretty normal as long as I take it easy.
22 Jun 2016
2 months post
The swelling continues, it's pretty bad by the evenings. With summer and all the kid activities there isn't much time for taking it easy. By bedtime I'm usually so tight and round :( I will be happy to be past the swelling.
11 weeks out and approximately 50 days of Embrace use! One more round left! I'm glad I'm tired of wearing them. I want to take take baths and swim! Kinda nervous not to have the extra support and protection. I still find my scar to be slightly irritating when free (between uses).
Updates/before and afters!
23 Jul 2016
3 months post
It's been a while be I've been documenting so I'll put dates to photos. I'm in my 14th week post op and feeling better than ever just notice the other night that that I haven't really noticed much swelling. I finished my Embrace last week and my scar seems noticeably flatter ever before. It is still sometimes sore. I'm definitely feeling better than ever probably because I lost a few pounds, yay, it's such a struggle for me! I finally made it to 180lbs!!!
16 Sep 2016
5 months post
It's been awhile. Not many changes, saw PS will be scheduling a revision to include additional lipo and fat transplant. My bb started shrinking so I'm now used and earplug to keep it open, doc suggested 6weeks of this. Started lifting weights with hubby, some swelling and my scar feels really tight sometimes.
My scar is feeling a lot more like normal skin now. It has also flattened more. I haven't experienced any swelling lately. Not completely but I still have numbness around and below my bb. I'm feeling really good.