Liked my Nose More Before - Sarasota, FL

In retrospect, I am regretting my decision and...

In retrospect, I am regretting my decision and fear there is a long road ahead for me to accept my new nose. For years since I was a teenager, I disliked my nose. In the past few years, I had debated back and forth if i should do it but was scared of the surgery and if it was the right time-1st warning sign!. Honestly, 90% of people said I did not need a nose job-2nd warning sign! If only my mom, whose opinion I trusted did not say...well you could straighten it a little. Sorry Mom, but did you really think this through???? Is it worth risking your life and sanity for "the possibility" of looking prettier?? First of all, in life, there are no guarantees. On another note, over many failed relationships, I would blame my looks: my nose was too big, I was not skinny enough, my boobs were not big enough-3rd warning sign (psychological and anxiety issues). Of course, I degraded myself in other ways too. I am not outgoing enough, fun enough, bitchy enough ("too nice" was a reason from one ex -boyfriend), confident enough. Somehow, I believed that "one day" I would not have all this issues and possibly being prettier. A small part of me, believed the nose job would make me feel more confident or attract more men! Big Fat Lie! Do you ever realize how much you truly lie to yourself??? What I really needed to do was work on my self esteem and love myself and be more gentle and not critical of myself. Self talk is really powerful

When I told my Dad about my impending decision, he is the only one who questioned my desire to change myself---4th warning sign! Why are you doing this? I do not think you need to. I said ultimately, I would like to meet someone to get married one day..being 32 and all. I knew I was somewhat superficial in judging the people I dated and assumed that i could not be a hypocrite and not think they judged my looks too. Then he asked, but do you want someone who likes you for your looks? The obvious answer was no-5th warning sign. Why does everything seem so clear in hindsight!???? so frustrating.

I did not feel depressed or sad about my future upcoming plans but now I do! I am trying so hard not to obsess about my appearance, but this experience made me realize how much importance I put and society in general puts on a persons appearance!!!!! It made me so angry to think about how I risked my life and my health for this reason. I was generally attractive before, maybe a 6or 7 on a scale of 10. Now I look at myself in the mirror and I do not recognize myself and all I see is the uneven nostril and the slightly upturned tip(that I did not ask for, thank you very much! :( ) I really wanted the change to be subtle and I did not want the tip changed more than 1 mm on both sides of the tip. This is the exact words I gave him..I never asked for him to upturn the tip.

Anyways, in conclusion, I would say unless you have a deformed nose (severely) , do not do it. Also a prerequisite: you must have no self-esteem issues, or anxiety issues, because this will make them worse!!! WARNING.....I can say I felt stable before this procedure and since my life has felt unstable rollercoaster ride. I am learning to love myself and accept myself and treat myself better day by day and have faith in the life lessons I have. Just want to help anyone out there, who are on the fence about this.
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