After having three kids, my breasts are small and...
After having three kids, my breasts are small and deflated. I just finished breastfeeding about a month ago, and I'm finally viewing a breast augmentation as a near-future reality rather than a distant desire. I'm currently between 34A and 32B (though I certainly don't think they look like B's.)
I've contacted a local PS and asked lots of questions. I've compiled an extensive list of "wish boobies". I stuffed my bra and liked what I saw. I think I'm ready to take the next step of scheduling a consultation, once I work out child care with my husband.
Probably my biggest fear is being able to take care of my young kids during the recovery phase. My youngest is only 10 months, so I can't really avoid picking her up.
I still have to wait anther two months for my milk ducts to close up. I'm going to have a hard time being patient. I've always wanted boobs, ever since I accepted that I had hit puberty and they still hadn't grown in. During breastfeeding, there were a few brief times where I had lovely, full breasts (even if they were leaking milk, and webbed with blue veins and stretch marks).
I'd love to achieve a full, natural look, preferably with silicone implants. I am so antsy to begin this process, for ME.
More wish boobies
These are beautiful. Went through a bunch of pictures with my husband (poor guy, heh), and these were my favorite. He liked a lot different look than I was expecting, so I'm glad I got his opinion. We both really want him to come to my consultation, so we'll have to get a babysitter. One of many hidden costs of a BA, I'm sure. It'll be tricky coordinating between PS office, husband work, and babysitter schedule. I'm thinking about making DIY rice sizers, since I'm classically impatient once I make up my mind about something.
Here are my before pictures. My husband couldn't understand why I couldn't just wait and have the doctor take them, but I wanted to take some myself to post here, for my records.
I called this morning and set up my consultation for next Tuesday. They will use the 3D imaging system, Crisalix. I'm so excited! I made some rice sizers yesterday and they've been a lot of fun to play with, in the comfort of my own home. Anything feels big compared to my starting point, so it's hard to decide if something is actually big, or just looks large relative to what I'm used to. I'm partial to sizers between 250cc and 300cc. 300 feels big, but I know augmented breasts will always look more natural than bags of rice.
Even more wish boobies
I probably should stop looking at wish boobies, or narrow it down to my favorite.
I've got my consultation tomorrow, and I'm so excited and a little nervous. I'm hoping my wish pics accurately portray what I'm actually going for.
Oops, posted before I was done
I REALLY wish real self would allow you to edit your own posts. So annoying.
Had my consultation today...
My consultation today went really well. I was very comfortable, and both the doctor and his assistant, Kate, were wonderful! They scanned my pictures into Crisalix, and we got to play with size on the computer. My dilemma is that my doctor was suggesting 400cc, which I feel is way too big for my frame. However, on the computer, 400 didn't look that big. But, I've searched for 400cc on here, and that's just not the look I want. Maybe my wish pics are bigger than I thought. I'm more worried about going too big than going too small, so I think I'll do a better job at my pre-op at vocalizing what I really want. I think it was all just a little surreal that it was happening, and I kind of just went with the flow, being star-struck and all. And here I was, thinking 325 was in the upper realm of how high I could ever go.
My main struggle now is balancing trusting my PS expertise (and the Crisalix software!), or going with my gut. Maybe a compromise of 325-350? First world problems, right?
Luckily I have time to mull it over. My surgery is set for June 16. Still doesn't feel real. I'm getting boobs!
Found old nursing pics
Found some pictures I sent my husband a few months ago while I was still nursing (6 months postpartum). I completely forget how great my boobs were! This is where I want to get back to! I took a picture tonight to recreate it (11 months postpartum). More abs, less boobs. Same bra.
I can stop looking for the perfect boobs. I found them. My ultimate wish boobs. I know the chance of my result looking this good is next to none, but this is exactly the size and shape I want.
Poor sad nips
Anytime I feel unsure or regretful about this process, I just need to look at these pictures of my nipples to remind myself why I want this. I don't want huge, attention grabbing breasts. I don't need a perfect figure, because I know I'll never have it. I just want my poor, sad nipples to not fold over on themselves and point at the floor. I just want them pointing straight out! Slightly bigger breasts will definitely be a perk (pun intended), but mostly, I just want to put something behind my nipples to make them stick out!
Pre-op in a week!
Man, it's getting close! My pre-op is in one week, and my surgery is in 16 days! One thing that's weird though, is that I emailed my doctor's office, and apparently they don't do sizers in the office. It "causes to much confusion for the patient" or something. They just rely on pictures of what you want, and on the 3d imaging. I was hoping to try on a whole range of sizes, since I really can't decide. It seems like one week I want 350, and the next week, I'm afraid they'll make me look heavy and matronly, and I'm leaning towards 275. I'll probably end up going somewhere in the middle, like 300. I just like my semi-slender build, and don't want sagging later in life.
Anyway, I took a few more Befores, including a full body shot, and before and after of my nipples being soft and hard. If they stayed hard all the time, sagging wouldn't be so bad and bother me so much. The right is worse because that one was all of my babies favorite to nurse on. All three were chomp-and-pullers. This week is my third baby's 1st birthday! I'm proud of my figure I've regained. Now I'm ready to complete it with some lovely, shapely breasts.
Only 5 more days!
I had my pre-op this post Tuesday, and it's so real now! I've filled my prescriptions, and I see what everyone means about them being hard to open if you can't use your chest muscles. I'm afraid to pre-open them with little mischievous kids running around though.
Okay, someone who's been through this already: how much are you confined to bed, and for how long? Like, do I need to stock up my nightstand for 3 days of lying in bed, only getting up to pee? Because that's what I have in my mind. I think I'm ready to have this over with so I can stop stressing over this minutiae.
At my pre-op, my doctor and I decided on 325-350, (even though he was encouraging me to go bigger), but then I got home, looked at even *more* pictures, panicked that 350 was still too big, and emailed them. So he's ordering 300-325 Mod+ for me, and will decide in the operating room which looks better. He had said that I'm an excellent candidate for periareolar incision, and his work looks great, but I can't quite justify the added possibility of complications. I'm going to stick with the inframammary, even if it's slightly more visible, since the only one seeing it is my hubby and he doesn't care if I have scars.
My doctor says that I'm allowed to, and encouraged to lift my arms immediately following surgery, as long as it's not hurting. I just can't lift anything (sorry kiddos!) My husband will take care of me the first few days, and my mother in law is getting here 4 days post-op.
I tried to shop the Victoria's Secret semi-annual sale online yesterday, and most good bras were sold out of what size I think I'll be. I got two swimsuits and a sports bra. Also got a zip up sports bra from Target.
Over all, I'm very very ready, really excited, and getting a little nervous. I'm still second-guessing the sizes I picked, but it helps that they've been ordered so it takes away the possibility of changing my mind again. I think my results will be really awesome (seriously though, why does 350 look perfect on some, and like enormous stripper boobs on others?)
Only 5 more days with these itty bitty deflated boobies!
2 more sleeps
Only two more sleeps, and one more full day! I can't help but dwell on all the things I won't be able to do, like drive, pick up my baby, sweep/mop, carry groceries, etc. I have this perfectly great, functioning, practical body, and I'm messing it up on purpose, for aesthetics. I know I'm going to be happy with my results, but I think these are just normal pre-surgery feelings I have to face. Oh, then I look down at my nipples, and suddenly feel better about everything :)
Got my front-closure bras today. The Walmart one feels a little tight, and the Target one feels ridiculous because it has these formed cups that are currently completely empty. Hard to believe I will have something to fill them up with in two days! Not taking the tags off anything right now though.
I might have had a last minute change of heart as far as incision placement goes. May be leaning toward areolar. My doctor seems to prefer those and does beautiful work, I'm just concerned with slightly higher risk of complication. I hate waiting until the day of to make a split decision. Those of you with areolar incisions, are you happy with them? Anyone with crease wish they had done areolar or vice versa?
Missed a pic
Missed this one. I can't help but laugh! The cake is a lie!
Guys, I'm feeling great, and I have bewbs
16 Jun 2016
Day of treatment
They look a little small, but they're awesome already. No crazy squareness. They already feel soft to me. Surgery went well, and now I can't keep my eyes open. Can't wait to post more updates!
5 hours post-op
16 Jun 2016
Day of treatment
I love getting updates from others so much, that I plan on posting a ton of my own. I already love them! The remind me so much of my breastfeeding boobies, which is exactly what I was going for. I know I'm going to get used to them being this size, then a little bummed that they go down, but anything is better then what I had! Pain is TOTALLY manageable. I'm lifting my arms above my head, per doctors instructions. My main complaint is the itchiness. No nausea, appetite is great. Drank some ginger kombucha, which I've never had. Absolutely no pain at the incision site, which by the way, is inframammary. I ended up getting 300cc mod+ silicone. No regrets at all!
Post-op day 1
Slept really great last night other than having to get up a few times to pee. I guess from all the IV fluids. It wasn't too hard to get up, but I had a get a boost from my husband this morning to sit up comfortably. No nausea to speak of today. I switched from the heavy pain meds to Tylenol this morning since the other stuff was making me feel so drowsy.
It's funny how hard it is to shake the feeling of being lazy on the couch while my husband takes care of all the little ones. It's so hard not to hug my babies!
I've been icing all morning. I highly recommend the ice packs I got from Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Mueller-Ice-Bag-Blue-Inch/dp/B000PD1EU2
I've been raising my arms, and the gurgling sounds are so weird! They're high, but not too high, and I already love the shape, not square at all. They're soft, but not squishy. I unhooked my bra to peek, and I just love them already. You guys, my nipples point out, not down! However, after being unhooked for just a minute, the sides started to ache so I hooked it back up quickly. Didn't want to mess with the gauze for now, but I really want to peek at my incisions. Maybe later. Still quite swollen down the middle of my sternum, which is where most of the soreness is. I'll update later!
Post-op day 2
Got a good look at my incisions, and got to take a shower! Yippee! I feel like a brand new person. Pain wise, I'm doing really good. I'm doing Tylenol during the day and the pain meds at night. I haven't escaped the bloating and constipation that plagues everyone else. I've been taking stool softeners and laxatives 3 times a day with no success yet.
The incisions are smaller than I was expecting, and seem to be carefully placed. I think once I drop and fluff, they will be perfect. They put glue on them, which is why they look funny, but luckily no strips. I do have to wear gauze, but I can replace that as needed. I tried on some dresses with no bra, and I'm so excited for when I can really wear them somewhere, no bra! I traded my stifling, super tight surgery bra for the soft cotton one from Walmart. So much more comfortable!
I'm feeling good about the size. I actually want them to shrink a little. The projection is too high for me right now, but I think they'll be perfect once they D&F. I've got a bit of the Snoopy boob going on, but my nipples no longer sag so I'm a happy girl! Now I'm going to take a nap.
Post-op day 4
So far so good. Stopped taking Tylenol last night and I feel good, if not a tiny bit muscle sore. Sleeping elevated on my back was starting to make my neck and back ache, so I slept on my side a little and it was okay!
I'm hoping they shrink a little more. Under clothes they look great, but naked, they look so out there! Just these huge things jutting off of my chest. I had to recheck the card he gave me, because they look like they're high profile! I'm not unhappy with the size, nor second guessing myself, but still crossing my fingers that they chill out a little. I'd like a little more width and a little less projection. I'm really looking forward to when I can start massage, so they don't look or feel like hard balls. My husband likes them though, of course :) He's still a little weirded out touching them/doesn't want to hurt me. They don't look that big in pictures, so I'm sure I'm just not used to looking down and seeing boobs.
The gurgling and bubbles have lessened. My bowels are back to normal, thank goodness. I might have gone a little too far with the laxatives and stool softeners yesterday... today is good though! Bloating is thankfully diminished!
I've got my post-op appointment tomorrow, and I don't know if I'll be able to drive myself, or if my Mother-in-law will have to load up the car with all the kids and take me.
Looking at my Befores definitely solidifies that I have no regrets!
My semi-annual sale bikinis arrived today! The strappy one is loose, but I didn't want to go down a size since the cups are already pretty small, so my handy dandy sewing machine should come in useful for tightening the straps.
I also had my postop appointment today, and everything looks great. My surgeon is still under the impression that I will wish I had gone bigger, but for now I'm still hoping they shrink/flatten, weird I know.
He said I can drive, lift things that are 10 pounds, I don't have to wear gauze any more, but I'm still supposed to avoid side sleeping. Oops. I'll see him again in a month.
Post-op day 10
10 days with boobs! It's flying by. I feel great! I'm so happy with the size, and might even be a little sad if they shrink any more. The glue came off my incisions, so I finally got to see them fully. Not bad at all. I'm still surprised how small the incisions are.
They are getting squishier. I have done a little implant displacement exercises. They still have a long ways to go as they drop and fluff.
My main gripe is the inner cleavage seems pretty uneven, and not a smooth slope. Flat indented spots mixed with bulgey out spots. Maybe I'm just picky. I hope they look more even and smooth as they continue to d&f. Oh and my nipples are pretty uneven, but I'm kind of resigned on that point. Sisters, not twins, right?
Emotionally, I'm doing pretty good. My husband and his mom on two separate occasions mentioned my "lady surgery" to other family members, which kind of upset me. I'd rather people not know, because I don't want them to treat me any differently. Why not just call it surgery if you must mention it? Why call it "lady surgery"? I digress. He feels adequately bad about it.
Feeling a little disgruntled about how much I can't do still. I miss working out, and I'm missing pool parties with my kids. My friends are going to this trampoline fitness class and I have to skip. I know it'll be worth it in the long run, but it's definitely still annoying. Especially with my sweetie saying all the time "you shouldn't be doing that!" " Or can't do that". I know an abundance of caution is best. He still has no qualms trying to jump my bones at any given second. Now I have a raging UTI, which is so fun! (Not meaning to rag on my husband. He has been so sweet, helpful and supportive this whole time.)
Anyways, still no regrets, and I think my results are quite lovely!
3 weeks post-op
Time flies! I feel great. The only pain I have is a bit of tenderness around my incisions, if I press on it. I definitely have gotten used to the size and I could have gone bigger. I'm trying not to dwell it, and focus on the fact that this is the look I originally wanted: an enhancement of my original breasts, very natural, and proportionate to my frame. I think I just didn't predict that I would need more so that I could easily smoosh them together, and have visible cleavage in a tank top. I'm hoping as they drop and fluff, I'll get closer to those goals, but I'm not getting my hopes up. I'm also trying not to nitpick the small asymmetries, or the fact that my nipples are so far to the sides. I'm just happy to have boobs!
I started exercising yesterday, and it feels so good! I've definitely lost a lot of tone and strength after not moving for 3 weeks. And added a bit of pudge. I do PiYo, but without the push-ups. It's a low impact workout that is leg-centric, and I just do plank during the push-ups.
Life goes on. I can pick up my baby with no issues. No one has noticed or said anything. My husband thinks they are gorgeous, and we both love them! I feel confident, sexy, proportionate, and I don't feel like it changed any part of my personality, other than more confidence in the bedroom and in a swim suit. In fact, we had a pool party with some friends this weekend (very down to earth people with kids), and I had to dress them down, because didn't want to appear to be a show-off.
More scar pictures
I've been alternating using BioOil and silicone strips on my scars. They don't really appear any less red, and they're still bumpy from the incisions under the skin. I wonder how long until they dissolve. I hate that there's a stitch poking out of each end. It's scratchy, and it can't heal properly if it's still poking out of my skin, right? Anyways, the scars are still the part I like the least about my breasts. It's hard to remember I'm still healing since feel so normal.
I don't think my updates have been going through to the newsfeed, and I noticed others were having simular issues. Just trying to see if this goes thru.
1 month post op
I'm now a few days past a month post op. Life's back to normal except for no push-ups. I finally feel like I'm not thinking about them all the time. My doctor was right, though. I do wish I had gone a little bigger. Darn it! I was POSITIVE I wouldn't wish I had gone bigger. And here I am. They are utterly unnoticeable in clothes (what I originally wanted). I don't have the cleavage I wish I had. They're still very wide apart, and my boney sternum is still visible.
But, I'm still very happy, and glad I had it done. I *knew* they weren't going to be perfect, but it's hard not to wish they were. Maybe once I'm out of these cursed sports bras, I'll have a little more shape in clothes. I'm hoping to go get sized this weekend. Though, I'm worried that if Victoria's Secret does vanity sizing, won't that throw off my sizing at others stores?
My biggest concern right now is that, while my scars have definitely flattened, they're not the fine thin line they used to be, and seem to be more wide, stretched out now, especially the left. Also, the left scar has this divot/hole at the end where that knot was. I can't help but think that if my PS had had me wear those strips like all you of seem to wear, there would have been less pressure on the scars, and they would look better. My husband says he doesn't mind, and I'm trying to reserve judgment as they continue to heal.
Sorry for the negativity dump! I haven't even taken them to the beach yet, even enough I live 10 miles from the ocean. Pitiful!
2 month post-op
18 Aug 2016
2 months post
All is well here. Boobs are looking and feeling good. They're fully dropped, I think, and fluffing nicely. My scars are still awful. The stitches have been pushing out, especially on my right side, and it makes the scar even redder. I've tried bio oil, vitamin e oil, coconut oil, silicone strips, etc. Nothing seems to help. I know I need to just stick to it. I have a hard time not feeling self conscious of them, especially during sex, when I know they're on full display. Husband says he could care less. Logically I know patience is the only thing that will heal them, but I'm just ready to be done healing!
Luckily, I have no limitations otherwise. I can lay on my stomach very comfortably. I can do push ups, sort of. They do feel weird though. I did stand up paddle boarding last weekend and didn't feel limited at all. Even hauling myself back onto my board dozens of times.
I still haven't bought new bras. Funny how I had no trouble plunking down 6k for these things, but buying a few $60 bras has me balking. I did get myself measured though, and I'm either a 32D, or a 30DD, which seems huge! I think it's because my ribcage is so small. It's surprisingly hard to find bras that size in stores. And even some online stores. I never ever thought I would be a size not widely available.