It's all over and i'm leaving Real Self
Growing up, my brothers and i got abused in every...
Growing up, my brothers and i got abused in every way possible by our mom. They had worse beatings than i did but she broke my nose when i was extremely young. Only as i reached my teens, i began to notice that whenever i blew or rubbed my nose, sometimes even if i washed my face a bit too enthusiastically, it would crunch and i'd be left in quite a bit of pain. Eventually, i noticed my nose had two huge bumps on either side and bent to the side.
It look me a long time to get over my past but i got there in the end. i no longer speak to any of my family but one thing that leaves a negative reminder is my nose. Every time i knock it i get angry and sad and relive everything all over again.
I desperately want rhinoplasty and my breathing is mildly affected, but i have absolutely no way of paying or it yet or the foreseeable future. I am working on a few things which i hope will help and prevent me from seeing my mother's face when i look in the mirror.
I guess i just wanted to say hello and vent a little. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and wish me luck finding one of the few (that i seem to be able to find, at least) decent rhinoplasty specialists in England. It will happen, it has to, it's just a matter of time.
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Just wanted to thank everyone for leaving me such...
Also thank you to everyone who has shared their stories and reviews. With every one i read i am feeling more and more determined and positive and assured that i am doing the right thing. Good luck to anyone who is going ahead with rhinoplasty and i hope you get the result you are looking for.
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So recently i have been emailing...
One specialist sounded great, a Muhammad Riaz, but i can't see any reviews or anything for him anywhere. A few others just haven't impressed me. i think it's important to maybe find a surgeon who charges for a consultation, that way you know he doesn't want to waste time on people who are just curious, or half-arsed.
i still don't have the money for my surgery yet, but i do have something i'm putting a lot of faith in...
i'm in a really horrible position right now and i'm just thankful we have a punch bag in the garden! I'm trying not to let myself get upset at the thought i make right what someone else did to me. i'm trying not to let feelings get in the way, 'why should i have to live with this, she shouldn't have done it', etc. My fella is being so patient and supportive, i'm thankful for him every day!
i just can't wait to talk to someone and not have to turn my head to the side like a pigeon! I have ruined so many important photos with my nose, the birth of my little girl, our holidays etc. I don't want to ruin our wedding photos too. i also can't wait to be able to sneeze out of my nose without practically crying after, and rubbing my nose, blowing it, washing my face carelessly....! It's spurring me on and getting me pumped up but i have to work to earn the money, and it's hard when my fella works 14hr shifts, i have a 22 month old and no family to help.
Anyway, im trying not to post until i have made some progress, it's just hard because of how passionately i feel about this. I think i may have a go on my punch bag.... i may picture my mother's nose as i do! I must note, i am completely against violence and mean it light heartedly. But hey, it's the least she deserves for doing that to a 3 or 4 year old and a little fantasy never hurt anyone.
Thanks again for all your support and kind words, it really does mean a lot. Good luck to you all
PS I kind of feel a bit mean by remaining completely anonymous so i have decided to post full pictures now, like i won't do a 'Manhunter' on my eyes any more.
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Thanks so much for sharing on RealSelf! I'm truly sorry for what you went through as a child. My heart just aches for you.
I hope you're able to figure out financing. You might be surprised and insurance might cover at least part of the surgery if you have breathing issues or pain. Not sure how health care works over there, but it'd be worth a try to call a few surgeons and ask.
Here's a list of questions to ask prospective doctors. Please keep us posted. I hope you're able to get this taken care of so you only see YOU when you look in the mirror.