Went to my pre-op appointment today. I am 5'2",...
Went to my pre-op appointment today. I am 5'2", 105lbs, petite frame, 34A trying to be a full C. My only concern was looking disproportionate because I have fairly narrow hips and didn't want to look top heavy. My PS recommended Allergen 335cc full profile gummy bear implants. When I tried on the sizers they felt and looks BIG but when I showed my mom the pictures with them in, she asked why I was going so small. Hah! My husband is not a fan of fake boobs and is perfectly happy with my body as it is so I want to be somewhat natural yet feel feminine at the same time.
Here are some sizer pics!
Before having kids and nursing they were slightly fuller and perkier. Now, just sad and deflated :( Zero projection is quite brutal to the self esteem department lol..
Originally I was deciding between 300 and 335cc Inspira SRF (Smooth, Round, Full profile). I keep looking at the 335cc sizer photos and it looks like I could go bigger without looking ridiculous. Next size up is 365cc.
It's funny, when I tried on the sizers my immediate reaction was that they were too big but in photos it looks average :/
My biggest fear is Victoria Beckham boobs.
I love the natural slope these girls have..
Officially 9 days til surgery! August 17th is the big day. Support from my husband started off strong but wavered yesterday. He said that he thinks it will change me in a negative way. The truth came out when we were arguing about something unrelated. I didn't do a good job of reassuring him because I was already annoyed. Finances were mentioned and the word selfish. *Sigh* I hope he comes through. I'm trying to keep myself from feeling too excited because it hasn't happened yet and I feel like it might end up not happening. We shall see...
Surgery date moved to 8/18/16
Got a call from my PS office and they asked me to reschedule :(
One more day, not terrible, but time is dragging already!
Switched from 335 to 365, back to 335cc!
It's so funny how a 365cc implant can look small or big on certain body types.
I've been reading so much about boob greed that I called my PS office 5 days ago and asked them to order me the Natrelle Inspira 365cc instead. It seemed like the right decision at the time. My original thought was that if they ended up being too small, I can just wear a padded or push up bra. But then I thought to myself, why am I paying $6500 to still need a padded bra to get the look I want? It seemed silly.
That night, my husband had one request. He wanted me to go to the casino and place a $200 bet at the Roulette table. He said if my number hits, it would be $7000 in winnings and free boobs, lol. I talked him down to a $100 bet because it seemed wasteful. I went to the casino dressed like a tomboy, more for comfort. I hate when my clothes smell like smoke so I wore something I didn't care about. I got so much unwanted attention from random guys it gave me the creeps. Old, young, black, white. I made no eye contact and just felt uncomfortable. I am married, mother of two.. It got me thinking that I don't want crazy big boobs that will get even more attention. I just hate the feeling of my boobs doing a disappearing act when I take off my bra. It feels more fake than fake boobs.
The next day I read something about rice sizers. I decided to give it a try and created my own rice filled 365cc implant. I wore a tight sports bra to simulate under muscle pressure. I put the rice sizers in, looked in the mirror and my first thought was "you look.....ridiculous." They were wayyy too big. I couldn't see my feet when I looked down. I looked in my full length mirror and my body was totally out of proportion. I called soon after and told them I wanted to go back to 335cc. My coordinator said Luckily she ordered 335 and 365 because the PS wasn't there the day I wanted the 365. She wasn't sure if he would OK it so she got both. Otherwise it wou,d have been a problem. Lucky me!
When I was deciding between 300 and 335cc my PS had said there isn't much difference. So in theory....there shouldn't be much difference between 335 and 365, right? Who knows. I do know that 300cc is unappealing to me. This is what happens when an indecisive person has to make a decision, lol.
Surgery in 34 hours!!!!!
335cc Rice Sizer pics (Pre-Op)
17 Aug 2016
Day of treatment
Today was supposed to be my surgery date but it got moved to tomorrow. Now I have some time to kill. I went through a nesting phase like some pregnant women do and became slightly obsessed with cleaning my house before surgery.
With my free time I decided to make some 335cc rice sizers and take some pics so I can compare actual results.
Please ignore my post pregnancy belly stretch marks. Hopefully after I get my boobs I won't have to see it when I look down, lol..
(If someone can show me how to put captions in pictures that would be great!)
Pre-Op pics with no rice sizers
17 Aug 2016
Day of treatment
Literally flat chested. My husband tells me I'm sexy all the time. I just roll my eyes. He says these boobs fed our babies. It's true, and I have no regrets on my decision to breastfeed but man is it tough to feel sexy with a chest like this. I am normally not a complainer because in the grand scheme of things, I am lucky as hell. I have my health, my family, my kids, my career. Life is good but new boobs will make me smile just a little bit wider :)
Morning of surgery, 3.5hrs left!
It still hasn't really kicked in yet.
The PS office is 45mins away. The whole thing took about 4.5-5hrs. Everyone was so nice and reassuring.
First few hours post-op were a little more painful than expected. I found it very difficult to lay propped up comfortably. You learn very quickly which movements cause pain and I felt fairly helpless. After taking painkillers I am feeling great. Total 180. They should have worn off by now and I don't plan on continuing.
I have a post op appointment tomorrow at 11:00am so I will get a chance to see how they look. I haven't peeked yet because I feel it would be painful to get out of buttoned up shirt I'm in. They feel high but I expected that. Overall I'm so excited :)
The dreaded lopsided boob
I read so many reviews where each breast healed differently. I was hoping it wouldn't be the case for me. Visually looking down at my chest, my left boob is noticeably larger and higher than my right. When I cup my hand over my right breast, it feels tiny. Left breast feels like it's the size I expected but also feels further away from center than my right. I won't know what it looks like til tomorrow when they take off the ace bandages wrapped around the top of my chest. I'll try to post pics then.
I decided to make an effort to NOT obsess over it since it's the early stages of healing. Although I'm pretty quick to spot flaws in myself and only see positive traits in others. Odd how that works.
Good news is the pain is still fairly minimal. I was instructed to raise my arms over my head 3x every hour. I've been doing it more than that because it actually feels pretty good. The first lift is always a little harder. I would rate the pain level at a 3 out of 10 (10 being very painful). Granted, all I'm doing in sitting in bed and shifted here and there to stay comfortable. I'm sorta dreading going to the bathroom. I'd like to try it on my own before I ask for help.
All in all I'm very happy how this first day progressed :)
Post Op pics - Day 2!
Finally got the bandages removed. I braced myself for square boobs sitting high and...... I saw squarish boobs sitting fairly high, lol. I can tell they won't be too big for my body (which was a fear of mine). And I can see that I should be happy with the end result :)
They look a little wonky when I'm naked but I feel great in the sports bra. The side view is a scary sight but that's expected. It's mostly swelling. The incision site feels fine but looks a bit bruised. I'm not in much pain at all but I am very aware of any pushing and pulling motions like opening the car door, putting on a seat belt etc. Now for the slow healing process...
PS: I thought I knew how to caption photos but now when I click on the "..." The only option is to Delete Photo.
Day 3 - Morning Boob is REAL :(
I've been sleeping between 45 and 90 degree angle cause it's easier to sit up on my own. My pillows must have given out last night because I was only slightly elevated and Man did it hurt! Two attempts to sit up left me nearly in tears. My biggest fear is not being able to go back to work in time.
I thought I'd be off pain meds by now since Day 1 went pretty well. I'm taking 3 oxycodone a day (1 every 8hrs or so). I think being on the meds gives me the illusion of feeling better. When it wears off I realize how vulnerable my body still is.
I'm right handed and my right arm has much less mobility than my left. It's still in the T-Rex phase but my left is mostly good.
I feel guilty because I have two small kids that I Love to hug and kiss and snuggle with. They come rushing at me for a hug and I tense up and tell them I'm not feeling good so they have to be gentle. They don't understand and it makes me sad.
Gonna call the PS office to see any other options to lessen the swelling.
Hope everyone is recovering pain free :)
Day - 4 - Feeling pretty good :)
Second half of Day 3 I felt I had much more mobility. My poor 3 year old has a really bad cold and cough so I had to take of him. In the back of my mind I was scared of catching what he had but all he wanted from me was hugs, kisses, and snuggles so that's what he got ???? I washed my hands a lot so my daughter wouldn't get sick too. It put my recovery on the back burner a bit.
My boobs feel slightly less tender and I can do things like reach behind me, pull and push light objects without pain. I took pictures but they looked exactly the same as day 2 so I didn't bother posting. 3 more days til Im back to work. Still very nervous because my job is physically demanding. I tried to give myself an easier work load my first two days back so hopefully that helps.
I can't tell if square boobs is the implant sitting up high or just tons of swelling. Has anyone's doctor recommended massage at this point? My post op appointment was just with a nurse because the doctor was working that day. I didn't feel she was very knowledgable.
Day 4 I woke up with no morning boob and I've kept myself off pain meds since yesterday afternoon.
How is everyone else's recovery going?
1 week post op pics
Day 7! Feeling almost back to normal. I can't lift anything heavy but range of motion is mostly good. Can't reach behind me or turn my neck to look behind me when driving without discomfort. I'm surprised at the difference between day 2 and day 7 in terms of pain and recovery. Boobs haven't changed much but look fine in clothes. Hoping the squareness goes away eventually. Still lots of upper pole swelling but I've gotten used to it. Worse on left side. First day back to work!
Did you keep it secret or tell people?
Pre-op I was so soo excited that the decision was final. I didn't mind telling people but my Mom said it's something personal and not everyone needs to know. So only my Mom and one co-worker knew.
Post-op I needed help with the kids (age 2 & 3) because I took a week off work and my Mom said she can only watch the baby and myself. My In-Laws helped watch my son but they normally watch him anyway when I'm at work so I didn't tell them I had taken time off. I wasn't dishonest but not completely honest either.
My In-laws would randomly stop by to play with the grandkids and I told them I was sick. I didn't want them to see me day 2 and day 4 while recovering. After a while I got sick of not telling the truth and pulled my mother in law aside to tell her I had a BA. She's known me since I was a baby. She feels like a second Mom to me. She was very supportive and understanding. I was elated.
The next day my Mom tells me my MIL called her and asked why was I lying to her, why did we waste money on something so vain, she said nursing doesn't affect your breasts, I didn't need it done, I only did it so ppl would look at my boobs... I was so hurt to hear this.
Anyway, I feel so naive. I will think twice before telling anyone. I hate being judged. She knows me, I am the last person who would want attention. I didn't even have a wedding to avoid being center of attention.
Lesson learned and my relationship with her will not be the same.
Day 11 Post-Op
Doing great. Still feel random sensations throughout the day but I've gotten used to it. My incisions are more sore, nipples crazy sensitive. I've been wearing "Nippies" to help with the sensitivity at work. I saw someone post about them from another review. It comes in handy!
I went to the mall and it started to dawn on me how many more options I will have in terms of fashion. I'm normally a Nike shirt and jeans kind of girl or I'll wear my husbands work clothes around the house. I've always had a terrible sense of style for myself but maybe it was due to poor body confidence. I liked to be covered up. I saw so many cute dresses and tops that I could never wear before. I didn't have time to shop for myself or try things on. I was on a birthday gift hunt but down the road trips to mall might take a little longer :)
Boobs are looking much better in clothes. Still looks the same naked. Swelling barely subsiding. I've been doing some massaging even though my PS said wait til week 3 for instructions. I noticed a lot of his patient before and afters weren't the look I wanted. Too perky, too fake. Gut feeling tells me to massage. It isn't painful so hopefully I'm not gonna regret this!
About 2 weeks post-op
Feeling great! I never understood the raised arm pics til now. It takes away the squareness and you can see where the implants might end up once they "drop" because the nipples are more centered. Still have upper fullness which I'm not fond of when naked but gives the illusion of cleavage in clothes. They feel apart of me. I've read that it can feel like a foreign object for some girls. So that's good :D
3 week post op visit to see the incisions in less than a week (9/7/16).
3 week post-op consultation
Today I met with my PS at my 3 week post-op consult. The nurse removed the steristrips and I got to see my scars for the first time. He said everything is healing nicely. I was instructed to start taking vitamin E daily. I can start using scar cream. I can lift my kids again.
He took me to a mirror and examined the symmetry of my breasts. I've always noticed that my left breast was a little higher, narrower, and square than my right one. He pointed this out without me mentioning it. He said this can happen if I'm right handed or just generally more mobile with the right side of my upper body. This is true. He said the skin has stretched more on my right side so the implants have dropped nicely and rounded out. By 6 weeks they should feel softer, look more natural and be in the perfect position. He told me to do massages on my left breast. I'm supposed to raise my left arm then use my right hand to grab and squish the implant at the top near my armpit to stretch the bottom of the implant and round it out. I am to do this twice a day for 30 seconds. If I don't see my implants dropping within a couple weeks I need to consult with him immediately. He also said to stop massaging once they appear symmetrical.
I asked about the air bubble I felt at the bottom of one breast, he said that's normal and that the body will absorb it over time. He also told me to wear an underwire bra from now until my next visit (3 months post-op). I should have asked why but just said ok.
I didn't really come prepared with many questions but I left there feeling good. I'll post some scar pics soon.
3.5 weeks Post-Op
I've been doing well. I've been making an effort to do a little massaging before work and more at night to try and even out my breasts. My left breast (right one in pics) is still more narrow and slightly higher. I'm seeing some subtle changes. I got sized at Nordstrom and the lady said I was a 30DDD but every bra in that size felt too tight in the band. 32DD felt much better but even on the loosest band setting it feels tight at the end of the work day. I asked if its possible I was a 34D and she said definitely not, bras are supposed to be snug. I intended on getting sized and buying an underwire bra but the underwires I tried on irritated my incision too much. I ended up buying this sportier looking bra with seam support. It feels comfortable enough so I've been wearing this in place of an underwire. Doctor said to buy some vitamin E. I thought he meant cream to rub on the incision but when I re-read his notes it was the vitamin, twice a day. My scars are still really dark. I haven't been able to get any good pics because my iPhone camera is horrible indoors and at night. Plus I always have my silicone strips on them. My boobs re very slightly softer than right after surgery. Hopefully it continues to soften. They say it takes 6 months for final result and I'm less than a month post op so I'm okay with where im at. Hope everyone is healing nicely.
4 weeks post op - Scar Pics
I've been using silicone strips for a week now. Doctor said I can cut them in half so they last longer but I've found that leaving them larger seems to help support my incisions better when I'm moving my arms above my head. It helps to hold in the surrounding skin so my movements don't stretch my scars as much as it normally would. I'm happy with the placement of the incision although one seems very slightly higher but my breasts before surgery were slightly uneven to begin with also. I'm happy with the progress I've made. They're starting to look more normal from the front view. Side view still looks odd. One boob is still smaller and higher but I'm working on it. .....I can't see what I'm typing because real self app is so buggy. Hope it all makes sense!
Looking like I've got Mondors Cord...
I've had my incision covered up so much I haven't had time to examine them much. I noticed what looks like Mondors Cords on both breasts. It's just odd that each "cord" is where a stitch would be. From what I've read, they will go away on their own with massage. It only shows when my arms are above my head. Luckily I plan on wearing silicone strips for 6 months so I won't have to look at them much. Anyone else have these? How long did it take to go away?
5 week Pic - No Mondors Chord
I posted what I thought was Mondor's Chord pics on RS "Ask a Doctor" and it turns out that the lines underneath my breasts were just stretched skin on my stitches. That's a relief. I was massaging one day and I felt a snap, then another. Seems the dissolvable stitches were partially dissolved and the massaging broke it. I no longer have the pulled stitch look when I raise my arms. I am massaging a lot less now. When I look in the mirror, they look pretty symmetrical to me. When I take pictures, I notice ,y left boob is still slightly higher and less round. Guess I still need to massage. Overall I am very happy with my results so far. They've gotten softer too, yay!
Almost 8 wks post op
11 Oct 2016
2 months post
Time flies! Boobies are doing good. The asymmetry seems to be gone although the one dropped slower still feels a bit more stiff than the other. Overall they have softened up a lot. My skin appears less stretched looking. Scars are still quite hideous. So dark.... But smooth at least. I have pretty much stopped massaging about a week ago. Just pushing them toward the center if I remember to do it. Did some bra/bralette shopping. The black ones are VS 34C and 32DD. Blue one is 34C cheap $6 bra. Overall very happy :)