20 Year Journey, A LOT of Big Steps, One Last Leap (Fingers Crossed) - Raleigh, NC

Ok, so let’s be honest, I’ve really been thinking about this since I was in third grade. I can remember setting in the bathroom and squeezing my fat roll and thinking, “I could just cut if off and it would go away.” Thank goodness my mom was a nurse and I knew I could bleed to death; if not for the fear of dying, I think I really would have. I’ve struggled with my weight since I can remember, I KNOW in second grade my parents put me on a diet. Over the years I've lost 100lbs or more twice, but this time I had lap-band, completely changed my life style and maintained for 2 years (yippy!). I went from a hefty 325lbs to a healthier 185.bs.

Only problem with this new body….It comes with handfuls of extra skin and lots of lumps and bumps. I have an extended abdominoplasty & medial thigh lift scheduled for Sep. I’m 28, 185lbs & 5’9…. I don’t mind a vertical scar… as long as it is worth the trade off. (I don’t have lipo on the list, but thinking about it) My Husband and I have been together for years now; he loved me fat and he loves me “thin.” I want to do this for me and he wants it for me as well. We are both very excited and scared; a TT and thigh lift at the same time…need I say more? I have ANOTHER appt. with my PS Aug. 8th, because I’ve been going crazy trying to decide what is best to do; the extended TT or the fluer de lis.
As crazy and vein as is sounds I really, really, really want to look good in a bikini. (Did I say really?) I have actually had dreams of wearing a white bikini on the beach, yup a bit obsessed, I know. Anyway, part of that might be because we never had weeding; next year we are having one on the beach, and I am going to ROCK that white BIKINI, vertical scar or not. This is the last leg of my crazy, up and down journey to a normal body (fingers crossed), so hold-on and buckle your seatbelts, there is bound more turbulence. Any and all comments, suggestions, thoughts, advise ect. are welcome!

Weeelllll, after a couple of weeks of torturing myself about what to do,( fleur-de-lis or extended TT) I went to see my PS. I saw some more pics of before and after, he marked me a bit to show some of our options and we talked about tradeoffs and that sort of thing. Ultimately it comes down to what I want. I really, really, really wish I could see the “if-we-go-this-way” look and the “if-we-go-that-way” look and I think it would be a much easier decision. My PS is in the process of getting the software that would show that, but it is still some time away and I’m not willing to wait. My gut several months was to go with the fleur-de-lis and I think I’m going to stay with that. I’m trying to go about my day telling myself that either way I will have a flat smooth tummy and I should focus on that. That seems to be helping. I’m trying to think about it as whatever I wake up with I will be happy with, the way you have to deal with something that you don’t chose. (kind of) I know that doesn’t make much sense, but I don’t’ want to spend all of that money and not get what I paid for( result wise, I mean). Soooooooooo, I’ll have an amazingly HOT bod! And a battle scar to rock with it! (At least that is the way I feel today)

Hey everyone! Its been a while since I wrote anything, I was kind of driving myself nuts again reading/looking at posts/am-I-doing-the-right-thing, second guessing myself ect. Thursday, the 30th was my pre-op! (I’m vibrating over here) I have ran around since then collecting everything I’ll need after surgery and making it easier for my honey to take care of me. I have a basket with all of my meds and instructions in it, and other things I think I might need/ want. ! They gave me a list to get, including milk of magnesia, fleets enema, stool softeners, gauzes and these are all in the basket too. I still need to bring down some surgery-friendly- clothes from down stairs to the coat closet (I’m taking it over until I can walk up the stairs again) I bought some sheets today at goodwill (twin size for the recliner and flats to go under my booty, so he can help me stand-up (by pulling on the ends)) and have bleached/washed them and have them ready to go in a basket. I also got a walker and toilet seat raiser to make necessary things easier for awhile and some throw away washcloths that do not have soap or require rinsing. (I am not to take a shower until my drains come out 7-14 days; this is asking A LOT of me) I’ve put in for at least two weeks off, I’ll take more if I need it and am well aware that I may. OOOOOOOOOOOh, yeah I decided to go with everything that I had originally planned, for whatever reason I had a clear head then and I really thing I should stick with my gut. And it doesn’t hurt that my man is beside me telling me I’m awesome no matter what! (That was after he got used to the idea that I WAS going to do it no matter what he said ; ) ) But truly, he has been great and I am so, so, sooooo blessed! We have just been looking at each other saying 10 days, 9 days, tomorrow is 8 days! Sometimes I feel like I am going to bust! Looking down right now I can see all thing stuff that is going to go “poof” and be gone…..with A LOT of pain to deal with afterwards…. I’ll sign off and say Whoop, whoop queue the drums, “ I’m so excited and I think I like it, I just can't help it!” See ya'll on the FLAT side!