34 Mother of 1 Just Want to Be Myself Again - Paramus, NJ

Hello ladies of "The Real Self Team"... I am...

Hello ladies of "The Real Self Team"... I am writing this blog to tell my story of my explant (breast implant removal)... I was skeptical at first because I was ashamed and embarrassed that I had actually gotten breast implants only to want them out just as fast.. However, after listening to the empowering tunes of the "wonder women" @therealselfteam who seemed to sing the woes of my heart, I gained the confidence to post my story. Not only did it become my duty, but my honor to bestow the same wisdom and experience of uplifting women that I gained... It was only fair that I continue to give the same kind, loving, nonjudgmental support that I was given.
I got my breast implants June 29, 2015. The funny thing is right before I was given the sedative I wanted to change my mind, get up and walk out... I remember the nurse distinctly saying "You look nervous, let me give you a little something to help you relax." Than it was lights out lol... My postoperative experience was very painful and a constant reminder of the regrettable decision that I made. My medication was intolerable making me extremely nauseous. So while I waited for anti nauseating meds I was in agony. Aside from the pain, My plastic surgeon did an "acceptable job" with my surgery. Although I was left with a scar on my left breast... Not sure how because I have great skin and heal very well... Guess I did too much too soon..?
My reason for getting implants, I have an athletic figure with curves.. However I never had the best self image of my body.. My prepubescent years were not as kind being mistaken for a boy at times and literally being called "Tim" throughout Highschool..!!!! Lol thinking back.. And although I had some breast tissue (size B) I always felt like I had a boy body.... Fast forward to present, due to my current emotional circumstance, I think I suffered from some form of body dysmorphia, because I had enviable proportions.. Something in me just snapped after a failed relationship with the estranged father of my child... Whom I had went through hell and back for mind you... only to desert his responsibility to his family in return.. I had a poor body image particularly after nursing my son who kept me very lean (skinny) because he was nursing. In hindsight psychologically I went through a lot postpartum and post-lactation, those hormones are no joke..
Initially I just wanted a lift, I never wanted to go bigger, because according to the plastic surgeon, even after nursing my sun (son) for 2 + years I had no significant change in my breast or nipple line. However, he said I could achieve same results with implants and not disturb mammary glands if I wanted to breastfeed any future children. After all the emotional hurt and pain, I just wanted to feel and look brand new..!!! I wanted to me mended and not broken...!!! I wanted to ooze beauty and confidence... I wanted to be the "I'm pretty perky perfect" and I know it woman.. Well, silly me to think that, that was something you could buy..!!!
Anyway, according to him I have great results... My breast pre-breast implant size was a B and postop I was a D.. Me personally, I just don't like them.. I don't like the idea of having something foreign in my body if I don't need to. I am thin so whenever I move or flex my arms I can see implants distorting as well as feel the implants moving. Which freaks me out..I loved to dance prior and now I just feel so top heavy...in addition, I already had sizable nipples now if I wear anything that even remotely accentuates my breast, I feel like milk dud city. So me wearing a form fitting leotard you can forget it. Needless to say, I am very uncomfortable in my artificial skin and I just want the implants OUT.....!
On a positive note, what I can say is I did experience the surge of confidence. However, in my case it is not in the way you would think.... It happened just the opposite. The confidence came from knowing that I was more beautiful with what God had blessed me with. And nothing is more perfect than what I was given organically. It came from reflection of all my triumphs despite odds against me and realized the beautiful, proud, superwoman I am and always have been. I love that woman...My breast implants can go, they had nothing to do with that so i don't need them.!!!
My consultation appointment is November 2, with my original plastic surgeon so I'll update with details... But until than lots of love and sprinkles to you all..!!! ????????????

Time for these things to GO..!!!

I know it's been a while. .. Thought I'd post a before photo... will post an after one soon....
Paramus Plastic Surgeon

Dr Ferarro was a good plastic surgeon professional, patient and understanding... Hh

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