Accutane / Roaccutane Journey, Melbourne Australia, 26 Year Old Female - Pakenham, AU

First and foremost, i have battled with acne, blackheads and millia since the tender age of 12. I am now 26...and i feel like 14 years is enough!!!! It clearly isn't just the hormones resulting from puberty!
Acne has caused me a fair share of anxiety and depression over the years. From social anxiety to depression about how 'ugly' it looked, and imagining what people must think when they meet me and how repulsed they must feel. Not wanting boyfriends to touch my face because it must feel disgusting, the stress that comes before a big social event and worrying about how my acne will be that day, and how well i'll be able to cover it up. It's exhausting. I really struggle to get myself together on a week night after work to attend a social event like a dinner or a coffee catch up - it just takes too much effort having to go home, do the cleansing regime, then paste on a healthy dose of foundation and concealer. Not to mention the outbreaks that result from said pasting.
Of course over the years i have tried so many things! Diet, exercise, no dairy, more vegetables, no fatty foods etc etc etc.
Two years ago, i went to see an MD who worked at a derm clinic. He prescribed me the following regime; Doxycycline 50mg a day, Adapalene (vit A cream) every night, some other gel every morning (the name escapes me right now) and the Rationale Three fix regime both morning and night. Now this worked, to an extent. As you can imagine it was quite time consuming and didn't have any long term effects. I kept it up for a good 8 months, but then i just became too expensive.

Today i finally went to the dermatologist to find out what he could do about my skin. My main concerns are millia (little white bumps) and active acne. He has suggested taking 20mg of Roaccutane a day for 8 months. I'm assuming he is trying to lessen the side effects by starting me on a dose so low. I am fine with this. I'd rather not jump in the deep end. I already have quite dry skin and am concerned this may be one of my major side effects. Being 26 i have started to notice the little fine lines around my mouth, my eyes and on my forehead, so i am also concerned about premature aging. Another thing that will do my head in is not being able to wax. I love waxing and hate hair!!! So not being able to wax - especially over summer will drive me insane. Anyone who tells you to just 'shave' has clearly never reaped the benefits of a bikini wax!! haha.

I am scheduled to have my blood test later in the week to confirm not pregnant (i have an IUD anyway) and to check my cholesterol, and kidney and liver function. Once they come back all clear, the doc will send me my prescription to get this show on the road.

I have posted some pics of my acne today. Over the years, my acne has flared up and down. It's been cystic at some points. Today it is not as bad as it has been. But frankly, it's just ground me down.

So, 3 weeks after I initially saw the dermo, we finally have lift off! As if that wasn't the most tedious process EVER! Didn't help that the dermo went on leave for a week there and didn't notify his patients he was going away - oh thanks so much! NOT. Gosh i was impatient. And it didn't help that his admin staff were extremely impersonal, especially when i was just feeling so desperate, scared and sensitive about the whole thing. Anyway, end rant.
So picked up my Roaccutane about an hour ago, ate lunch and took my first little pink tablet. He has put me on a dosage of 20mg a day to start off with. I have a review appt in 4 weeks. It cost me $36.90 for 60 x 20mg tablets under the medicare scheme. Without medicare it would have cost $77.65, which to be honest, i think is pretty reasonable for 60 tablets in comparison to what they seem to be paying over in the states. I stocked up on Nivea in shower moisturiser, some soap free QV shower wash, Redkens sorbolene cream, Hamiltons Urederm Cream 10% (to be honest i don't really know what ill use this for, but it was on sale!), Olay total effects eye cream (hopefully stem any extra aging!!) and Blistex for my lips.
I am a little concerned how my skin will react in this first week, i got a little sunburn on the weekend just gone (3-5th Oct) while at a festival. I'm wondering if i should have waited until my skin had healed before starting treatment - my skin is also insanely dry due to the bonfires every night.
I have posted some pics of my skin today, it actually looks pretty inflamed, and made me a little sad to see what other people are seeing, it's a bit yukky. Fingers crossed this treatment works for me. I'm terribly scared of the initial flare up, i have so many weddings and events in the next 2 months! Wish me luck.

Day two down. Have had a sort of achy on and off headache since yesterday, not sure if it's related or i'm just being hypochondriac. Didn't sleep so well last night, woke up at 4.30am, then really restless until 7 when i just couldn't take rolling around anymore haha.
My workmate quizzed me today on why i would go on such a potentially dangerous drug that i had to sign an indemnity form for...LOOK AT MY FACE!!!! I'm sick of obsessing over it to be honest. I wish i could just let it go. I keep a little mirror on my desk at work, and am constantly checking that i have no whiteheads or flakey bits of skin on my face, Gross.