My Nightmare - Ontario, OR

Whenever I'm in the sun, my skin tends to pigment pretty easily. The brand I use is Elta MD broad spectrum, 46 SPF. It's important to use a physical sunblock like zinc oxide.

Is that an actual picture of your own skin? Are you still using Retin-A? It's so important that you use sunscreen, even when it's not sunny. I am a Licensed Esthetician. And yes, non-nano zinc oxide should be used at a percentage of at least 20%.

It isn't my own, I just chose to use that picture as an example because my skin is similar (to the one on the left), especially beneath the eyes where the pores look elongated and not exactly round. I discontinued the Retin-A after seeing what was happening to my skin, the only thing I use on my skin now is moisturizer (CeraVe) and sunscreen. I have been trying to find someone that performs TCA cross but I haven't had any luck so far, everyone I've talked to had recommended laser but I'm too scared to try it. TCA cross is a gamble too but it seems like that is the only option.

Has recommended laser*, this site needs an edit button lol.

The stuff I was using was an OTC cream as well. I just checked your saw your post, my skin is similar, orange peel texture and enlarged pores. Your life being ruined does not sound dramatic to me, that is exactly how I've felt for the past couple of years. Every day is a struggle. I have learned to avoid mirrors, look down when I wash my hands or get in the car to avoid my reflection. I have fat loss in parts of my face as well where the collagen literally melted away. I also have indented line scars, like someone pressed their fingernail into my skin and the impressions never went away. It's horrible. I have heard of one or two people who said their damage supposedly resolved itself after about 8-12 months, unfortunately for most of us the damage is permanent and in all my research I have yet to find a solution. :(

Just checked your post*, this phone is very difficult to type on.

Ugh that's awful. I can't believe yours was OTC and you haven't healed. That is very discouraging to hear. I'm a female and feel like I have lost a huge part of me. I loved makeup (which I haven't worn since January) and getting ready to go places and I've lost that. It's all I can do to come to work most days. What all have you tried? Have you continued exfoliation of any kind? I really think it's barrier damage and the cure is to repair it but different products work for different people. I have tried 23 different products (yes I am keeping count). CeraVe in the tub is the only thing I can tolerate but even that just sits on top of my skin. I'm giving it a year or two to heal on it's own then I will be seeing a plastic surgeon or burn unit for fat or skin grafting. I cannot look at this face every day for the next forty years of my life. If it's even forty. This is likely to give me an aneurysm no joke.

How was the Retin- A able to cause fat loss? I don't get it? Also, have you ever had a chemical peel done in the past?

Mine didn't cause fat loss just the awful texture. And I have never had a chemical peel or laser or any kind. Not sure about the original poster though

I'm not sure how but it did, almost like the fat underneath my skin melted away and I have rolling scar like indentations, I just woke up one day and noticed in the mirror alongside the giant pores.

Sorry anxiouspatient I didn't know you had responded until now, I know how you're feeling - You're not alone so you can take solace in that, it's little consolation though I know.

I haven't tried exfoliation, I've been too worried about putting anything harsh on my skin, I swear this kind of thing is enough to give people PTSD, I'm very aware of my skin now.

Things I have tried are: Honey, CeraVe, some weird skin cell serum, vitamin c very briefly but I was worried that it would make things worse, supplements (vitamins, collagen, fish oil), MSM, hyaluronic acid, various diet changes, I'm sure there is more but that's about as far as my memory is allowing me right now. Next I'll be trying bone broth since it is high in collagen, etc.
I haven't tried any medical treatments, i'm apprehensive and worried about making things worse (sometimes I wonder if that's even possible lol), I've heard TCA cross can work but that too has inherent risks and can expand the pores rather than shinking them, feels like we're playing Russian Roulette with our skin.
I know it's hard and I'm one to talk but try not to stress too much, look up Awalk on here - She had a laser treatment and had similar damage and the grief eventually got the best of her, very sad. Sometimes I feel like I too will succumb to this, the stress is killer.
I think you're right to give it a year before you decide to do anything drastic, it will at least give your skin time to heal, Accutane users are recommended post treatment before proceeding with any harsh treatments. Someone mentioned that our skin barriers were damaged and we should look up how to repair that and the acid mantle, that sounds like good advice, though I'm not sure if it is possible to restore our skin/pores to their previous state it is worth looking into.
I think pores are similar to scars in that your skin thinks it is healed and doesn't worry about the asthetic appearance, without creating a wound (laser, acid, needling, etc.) and creating localized damage the skin will not repair itself because it does not view it as an injury.

Accutane users are recommended 12 months before proceeding with any harsh treatments*, you'd think I would have learned to proof read by now ha.

I meant to add: Your skin really doesn't look terrible, I do see a bit of orange peel texture which is common, I got that too but from what I can tell your pores don't look like they've expanded/stretched out which is good. It is appears to be mostly textural, I'm reluctant to advise anything I haven't tried myself but when you are ready I think you might respond well to a peel, it is at least something to look into (scary though, I know). I would avoid any kind of laser treatment.

hi night, I am with you on this. my pores open. I had a connect the dot from nose to earn that connected and form scratches which looks like some of my skin was removed.

I read others saying they feel they have lost fat. it's sad I've seen so many dermatologists and no one has a answer. they just bs and tell you your skin looks fine.

and try to promote laser which I will never let touch my face. lots of folks have experience the same with laser.

I'm with you Birdland, I've been told that too (by family and friends) this definitely isn't "fine" to us, and not what we are used to seeing in the mirror every day. I agree with you about lasers, a lot of people have experienced similar burn damage, enlarged pores, fat loss, damaged capillaries, etc.

Well my skin has been damaged from chemical peels (from several years ago)...and I was really hoping retin-A/Retinol will help with this affect. Now, it seems like every single thing I am willing to try to improve my damage, has the potential to cause further damage...even something as simple as a cream?! I just want to know what other things you may have done or used on your skin that may be contributing to the effects you've experienced....or do you think it was just the Retin-A alone? I just don't understand it -- it's like there is no hope for me.

chila, what did the peels damage your skin?

When I complained that despite retin-a and aczone, every pore on my face was clogged and I could see sebum in every pore when I looked in My magnifying make-up mirror, she told me to stop looking in my makeup mirror. How does this solve the problem?

I don't know about that, I had the same thing due to sun damage and then thinned my skin through chemicals and exfoliation, with a lack of SPF. I have been using cerave, b3, and Zinc SPF. I just started using CLA caps on the face. This has been helping tremendously. Your face is dehydrated. You do need to restore the lipid barrier, acid mantle, and protect your skin.

Good luck

Thanks for the information I am looking that up now.

Oh I am so sorry. My marriage has really suffered so I understand. At times I want to walk away because he deserves someone so much better than the monster he is stuck with now. It's promising that you have found a doctor that actually admits something is awry. Everyone I have seen tells me it's aging. One actually prescribed Retin a when a retinol did this to begin with!

It sounds silly for me to say this but don't take your husbands love for granted or try to push him away. I wish I didn't do that to my boyfriend. It's nuts how this can take over your life while some people are struggling with life threatening issues. I mean is it vain? Is it just in our DNA to want to look nice? Should we just accept it? I just can't....
And to make matters worse I contacted the author of the site that I posted above and told her what has happened to my skin. She also sells products to repair the acid mantle and help sensitive skin. I'll copy and paste her reply...
"It is hard to come back from retin A overdose i have seen
cases of peeling going on for years. I can't honestly
say any of my products would repair the damage done."
Interesting because my derm said the opposite and gave me a hydrocortisone cream which hasn't helped at all.
I'm surprised that a retinol did this to you. I really feel for you. I'll continue to research and let you know if I come up with a solution!

Oh, I forgot to mention I have some pretty bad health conditions too. Rheumatoid arthritis, thyroid disease, costocondritis. I actually healed my body through naturopathy from rheumatoid arthritis which is supposedly "incurable" so I know that your body and skin will repair itself given the right environment/conditions. Talk soon. :)

Thanks. I actually emailed that site too so I'm sure I'll get the same response. How utterly depressing. I think I'd be happier alone than married. He wants to go places and continue living because he sees nothing wrong with my face. All I can do the whole time we are out is wonder what everyone else is thinking about me. I also find it impossible that he is not embarrassed to be in public with me. I want to crawl into a hole. Hearing that it's next to impossible to heal makes me pray to be taken from this world. I would never harm myself though so it's in God's hands

I wouldn't believe your Derm. it's all they offer patients. the other person is being honest. hydrocortisone didn't help.

I will choose to remain skeptically optimistic.

Sounds so familiar. I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything that wasn't absolutely necessary because of how awful I felt about my skin. Have you talked to your husband about how deeply this bothers you? I know that you said he says your skin looks fine, but does he know how badly it's affecting you?
But you're right in a way...it is easier to be alone. I don't have to fight about going out anymore or come up with stupid excuses. Most of which were true...I didn't feel good. Just the thought of people seeing me made me feel nauseous. I still get that anxiety on a daily basis. I read a huge thread (username Awalk) years back where her skin was so damaged from laser that she gave up on life. That beautiful woman ended up dying very young from an aneurysm if I remember correctly. I don't want us to be overcome by this but geez it's a bit consuming for our reflection to change over night.
Did Samantha from nakedchemist write you back yet?

I'm sorry to hear you guys are going through this as well, reading your replies it sounds like it could have been written by me. To make matters worse my skin is sensitive to the sun and tends to pigment so whenever I wear sunscreen it just sinks into the holes/lines/scars and reminds me that I look like a monster, it's horrible. I also have broken capillaries from this, still, 2+ years later. I don't think our feelings are abnormal. One, maybe a couple of scars are manageable, when it literally costumes your entire face over night it is just too much. People that aren't dealing with this simply don't understand, I've heard "get over it", "you look fine", "you have BDD", no, no and hell no. I would kill for an aneurysm right now. :(

Has anyone tried Mother Dirt? I
The spray is expensive, but the wash is about $14. The whole idea behind the product is to restore your skin's natural no one by washing with a very gentle foam that does not disrupt the skin's barrier and then misting with live "good" bacteria. The company has been doing research that suggests we have been using products that strip the skin of its natural properties killing good and bad bacteria alike. I used it about a month and my face felt softer and pigment looked better, however I started breaking out some which could have just been from changing my hormone replacement therapy from patch to cream. Might be worth a shot if you just need to let your skin heal for a while. Not everything works for everyone and I would encourage you to read the directions on their website. You can also buy their stuff in Amazon sometimes. They think there maybe a correlation between the overuse of antibiotics and acids and the rise of adult acne.

I'll look
Into it! I just started a new regimine and I don't want to change it up once again but I love any and all helpful tips given so thank you very much!

Man...I totally get where you're coming from. Especially referring to BDD...lol. But even my derm sees the issue so I know it's not just me. Hell you'd have to have serious eye problems to not see the indents and lines everywhere. Night-what have you tried since this started? Are you being gentle with your skin and taking supplements to help heal from within. I'm hoping we can come together and figure this out. I'm not one to just sit back and watch my life fall apart nor do I want an aneurysm to come on :( Mainly because I've dealt with such severe trauma and pain in my life that although I'm devastated right now, I thank God everyday I get out of bed. Let's try to be positive even if our situation sucks big time. Remember there is a mind~body connection especially when it comes to healing! I understand that your venting though I have my moments....

Thanks for the suggestion gb I am going to look into it. How long ago did you damage your skin Lonnie? I have tried several things: Osmosis Skin Cell serum, Osmosis Catalyst (vitamin C), moisturizers, vitamins, collagen supplements, diet changes, salicylic acid (briefly), I haven't tried anything too harsh because I feel like anything I do to my skin now is just going to damage it. I don't think anything topical is going to fix my skin now though, I think it's been too long and what I'm left with are essentially scars and no topical to date is capable of treating scars aside from some acids. I think the only thing left for me to try for the pores is TCA cross but I'm apprehensive as it's basically a 50/50 chance that it will improve or expand the pore. At this point I have very little left to lose so if/when I try it I will update here.

Oh I'm only one month out from using Retin a .05. I used Skinceuticals retinol for a month prior to using Retin a with no adverse reactions. I'm basically following skindeeps regimine on the EDS thread Retin a creating open pores and bad texture. I think using any acids right now is a bad idea. I'm just being super natural for awhile. I do have Viktoria deann products and Karin Herzog ones that I will try once I heal. I'm also using the hydrocortisone cream my derm prescribed (fluocinonide cream) for only 2 weeks because I don't want atrophy. If I were you at this point I'd go to a derm and see what they recommend maybe micro needling or a deep peel. Believe it or not I went through this years ago but not to this extent and my skin healed over time. But it was just crepey and lines then....Island why I touched this stuff again. Maybe all the

I see a derm, have had IPL, Graceland, use OBAGI process and have fillers as well as use 2% Retin A with a blender. My skin is fine. Being under a doctor's care makes all the difference.

That's 1%, NOT 2%.

I use 50 SPF DAILY.

Teddt135 for your information I am under a doctor's care. Maybe you haven't been to the ipl and laser damage boards but they were all under a doctor's care too. Your comment was not helpful at all and quite ignorant. Being under a doctor's care does not mean you will not experience a negative reaction.

And btw most people know to use an spf factor over 30 while on Retin A....if they don't then they probably shouldn't be using it in the first place!

This made me sad , I know because I'm thinking the same and I don't want you to feel that way , I wish I could fix all of us . These pharma and device companies are criminals and these dr's have no regard for human life

Hi LonnieMae, did the avocado, olive oil and Manuka Honey help with your skin?

Ok so since they removed it I'll just repeat what another person said and just say to research restoring your skins barrier and acid mantle.

How?! I've been trying to figure it out for 2 months and just keep making it worse , moisturizers burn me . These creams have some good stuff thrn a lot of awful stuff . I wish there was a cholesterol, ceramide and fatty acid only cream . At least we can get a barrier going maybe . Does anyone know if there are any methods to get hydration deeep into the skin ? I have waxy like plaques that are smooth and I think it's so dry it shut down and I'm an oily olive complexion .

I actually just found and ordered an amazing moisturizer that I read about on other forums. I read that it's great to use specifically with retin a and that it's great to help fix a compromised skin barrier. It's called Stratia Liquid Gold.. Just look it up.. it has amazing ingredients and great reviews..

I was, and still do - I usually use Cerave. The damage has been done though, it's too late for me. Now I just try to warn others.

I'm sorry I didn't see your comment sooner, for me it was about a month, maybe two before I started noticing the effects.

Thanks for sharing your experience, sorry to hear about the laser. I've heard a lot of negative things about them, specially ablative. I did buy some Osmosis stuff a while back but I was worried about making things worse. I'll look into these again though.

Night Osmosis Skincare products are fantastic! I sound like a shill but I'm not lol I wish I'd found them prior to the laser as they probably would have prevented the issues that the laser was recommended to me for in the first place.

I would just start with the Osmosis products slowly while your skin adjusts. Read reviews on them. You will notice great things happening to your skin.

When Osmosis first launched Stemfactor I purchased that too and added it to the mix. But I think the first few batches of this product still needed some tweaking as I went through the "uglies" from it, but once I got past that my skin loved the product and then the revised versions were even better.

Just be gentle with your skin, less is always more. I think we can get carried away and think trying more products and slathering more of them on will bring greater results, but in reality, I've found the opposite to be true.

All the best :) x