March 30: Day 5
My nose continues to be congested...
March 30: Day 5
My nose continues to be congested still that right nostril will at times have some flow of air but not for long. My left nostril there's still a bit of mucousy blood-tinged discharge and find it that it is most sensitive one when being cleaned. I did have left deviated septum so hoping that's why.
Slept all night last night, and napped again this morning. Probably the bet sleep I've had. I haven't take. Pain medication as its just pressure I have from the congestion, my extra strength Tylenol were good enough yesterday. No more T3s they make me feel too drowsy and constipated!! lol I haven't drank enough prune juice so last night I started drinking Metamucil lol TMI
My periorbital bruising and swelling are still present although I'm finding that near my cheeks it's getting more yellow but like mentioned still quite puffy..I will try to drink more fluids and am taking the arnica pellets but after procedure I forgot to continue my vitamin C
Trying to remain postive although quite difficult. I just look so different from the front... I have very supportive parents and BF so that's great. I will upload front pictures. I'm not ready to tell everyone yet so I've tried to edit them to the best of my crappy abilities lol! My upper lip is still quite stiff so my attempt at a smile wasn't too successful... I have dried blood on the steristrip that's holding my nasaltip and like i mentioned my left nare still has discharge . If you want other pics lemme know I can email them to you..
April 1st- Cast removed
I had my cast taken off...
April 1st- Cast removed
I had my cast taken off today! As you can see on my left side especially there are little bumps and a dent just before the tip. My nose from the front uneven especially the nostrils. Anyways, the surgeon told me to give the swelling some time first of all. The nurse took off my cast, it wasn't too painful just a lot of pressure. She told me to give it two months to see the "real" results.
In all honesty, my nose was sooo projected and had the biggest hump that apart from the dent I wouldn't mind the small bumps :-/. Also, the front still scares me and I hope the nostrils even out. Anyways, it's all a waiting game from here and just trying to take care of myself...
I uploaded some pics they're the OK pics haha.. Ill do some of the dents and crookedness but I don't want to focus on that so much because of the swelling. It could get better or worse...ooh and I can chew :D...I need a break from my puréed diet
I'm finally starting to get that slight sense of smell and it is as everyone has mentioned a really disgusting smell, Dr said it was Ok. And I won't see him for another 3 weeks.
April 3rd/13- Day 9
So, I'm getting quite...
April 3rd/13- Day 9
So, I'm getting quite inpatient waiting for this swelling to diminish and then I freak myself out thinking hmm maybe it won't change too much from here. I guess it's finally hitting me that I've finally had this procedure done after so many yeas of hoping for one! Now I'm actually thinking about everything else, what are people going to say/think, am I going to be terrified of any flying objects near my face for the rest of my life, will it look "fake" to other people, is this breathing going to get better, when am I going to be able to touch my face again or go to sleep peacefully not having in mind that I may bump my nose somewhere...AHH! It doesn't help that I'm home all day but I'm not confident enough to go out like this, still have bruised eyes :S and my nose freaks me out from the front. Apart from parents and BF only one friend has seen the "new" nose and another but through pictures. Everyone says it looks ok and not to worry but I'm going through a paranoia stage at the moment so I don't believe anyone!! haha However, they do get me with the "well you have to agree it's MUCH better than before" which I completely agree with.
I'm happy with the profile view however, there is a compression/dent in supratip area that makes the tip slightly uplifted. I'm hoping the compression is because of the cast because the marking is still there and it's exactly where the dent is. Also, nostrils still slightly asymmetrical so there is some weird shadowing that shows on the left nostril. The only part that's bothering me is the front, I think I didn't prepare well enough for how different I would look. I focused so much on the profile all these years and in my consultation, so now I'm scared but it is still very swollen and I'm too paranoid and keep zooming into every little defect so It's important to remind my self to wait..wait and wait! I did e-mail my surgeon haha I wonder how many e-mails he gets from fresh postop patients asking questions that are pretty much just a cry for reassurance :P
Breathing is getting better but still need to mouth-breathe. I get a slight sense of smell here and there but none for the most part, still quite tender and spongy-feeling with a very stiff tip. Eating normal diet now. Still cleaning with Hydrasense and applying polysporin to the sutured areas. I will continue using polysporin for the following week then just continue with the Hydrasense.
Overall, I'm very happy so far. I never really wrote bout the history of my nose and I (haha) but I've always been aware of it's length/crookedness. Both my parents have very long (but different) noses each with it's own problems apart from length, so when I was born those two distinct yet large noses combined to created MINE (how lucky of me!). To make matters worse, when I was 7-8 years old my younger cousin hit me with a rod (metal) so I'm not sure if it was also broken at that time, I just remember crying and having some nasty mark on my nose for a while. Growing up, I feel as if it's my nose that has always represented me especially within my family, "oh poor girl, you got your father's nose" haha I was okay with it though, I accepted it. However. it didn't help moving to North America where I find that long crooked noses are just a plain NO! This was also my tween/teen years so it was a wreck waiting to happen! Even Disney movies made me feel horrible with those "witch characteristics". I never spoke with friends exactly how much I hated it and would cringe when friends spoke about noses!! Whenever, someone made fun of my nose (and trust me, that was a lot of times) I would just brush it off and pretend it didn't bother me, it mostly happened when I was alone so I'm very happy for that haha. I didn't know how to act if someone said that when friends were around. Anyways, I got through high school, university and now I'm 25 and can finally afford to get this thing fixed, I didn't have that option in high school but I'm sure if parents could afford it, I would have definitely get it done- My dad has always supported this decision as he feels, he is to blame for my curse!....woo that's a very long story (haha)... I just need to remind myself how much I've always wanted this and that I'm seeking improvement not perfection!! ...I can't believe I've shared this on a public site! Kudos if you read all this! :P
hmm so breathing sucks, I couldn't sleep...
hmm so breathing sucks, I couldn't sleep last night because my nostrils were completely blocked. Today only my right nostril was working again for a while then blocked again. I'm getting really scared reading all this cartilage collapse, open roof syndrome craziness...so lets just hope it's jus swelling bc I'm becoming too paranoid. I feel upset that when others get. Septoplasty they're breathing improves within days whilst mine is as bad or worse, my follow up was Tuesday and they said everything looked good inside? So. Maybe ill give this more time see what happens. I'm upset at myself as i fe that I didn't ask for detailed characteristics of the procedure, just a general "we are filing down this, using tissue from here to build up there. Lifting up here". Don't get me wrong my Dr. Has answered everything I asked, but maybe not as detailed as I should know. I feel this way because the surgeon did a supra tip break, I did not know this prior to surgery just that my tip would be lifted a bit. So, now my swelling will probably be present for a while longer. My surgeon assured me that my nasal tip will drop slightly more and the supratip depression will be less visible once scar tissue starts forming. I just really dislike the button-like shape of my nasaltip right now and it even appears lopsided :( :(, I look so different! Anyways, just wait and see now. It's just that my 2 weeks post-op is coming up and I was expecting I would be fairly okay to go out and about but it doesn't look like it! Ahhhhh I feel so frustrated but I can't do anything so for now, I just hope my breathing improves! =(
Day 12 ...I've lost count!
So, yesterday it...
Day 12 ...I've lost count!
So, yesterday it appears I went a little cray cray lol. I was very worried about my breathing? It's like tissue that's occluding my left nostril? Is this swelling? I don't remember seeing it before but then again I was so congested I wouldn't have noticed. I tried to check in with a flashlight and the orifice is quite small...no wonder I can't breathe! I was about to email my PS but I don't even know what the heck I'm seeing, today there is some airflow through, very small amount as before so it was probably like that all along. But, I just want to make sure and will ask PS, I keep emailing him with questions so I'm scared he'll just say its swelling but what if its not :-$ ah I'm turning into crazy me again!! Anyways, this morning I looked at some old pictures so I'm feeling pretty happy with how it looks now Haha...I think trading in an ugly "I hate it" profile for a "this doesn't look like me" front button-like nose isn't TOO bad. Lol...
Also, can i just say how horrible my skin is. woah, i went from extra dry to extra oily! I have a pimple right on the tip of my nose...go figure..
On a side note, my dad is getting worried I don't want to leave the house...lol.
So yesterday was exactly 2 weeks after...
So yesterday was exactly 2 weeks after my surgery! There hasn't really been any changes since my last post which is why I Haven't really updated. My breathing varies, sometimes it's okay but at times I can't breathe through my nose :( I'm probably still pretty swollen in there *sigh*. The depression from the supratip break is still pretty deep. Also, tissue was used to build up the radix so my nose is still pretty bumpy, there's at least three bumps I can feel (including my large round nasal tip), oh I'm so sad! Hmmm what else, so the tip still quite stiff and round and large and I hate it! I'll have bad days where I feel completely depressed and feel me and my PS weren't on the same page which makes me feel sooo horrible because here I was thinking I was very prepared! Other times it's not so bad and remember that a lot can and might change these next few months. However, I don't feel comfortable being around people I know just because when they hear plastic surgery, they expect "perfection" and it's far from that. Also, they don't even know I had this done, only three friends know :$ and I'm glad because although I don't mind others knowing I don't feel like explaining everything to them and feeding their curiosity with wanting to see me :P. hmmm another issue, my skin is very oily and my nose is now peeling AND my pores are large! I don't feel comfortable touching my nose so much so cleaning is minimal just a face wipe :( grr it's annoying because I've always had such dry skin and all my cleansers and moisturizers are very thick and for me ex-skin type. The blackheads are driving me crazy, I usually use the clarisonic so now my poor skin doesn't know what the heck is happening! Hmmm I think this is long enough ill update the pictures later on. Ooo one more thing, my stitches are not falling out and theyre are some hanging on my columella, I can't pull them so I had to trim them? Is this bad? I don't want shortened pieces getting lost on there somewhere
** I tried to update my surgeons name but I don't...
** I tried to update my surgeons name but I don't want to rate him yet :P now I can't fix it.
So, yesterday marked my three weeks...
So, yesterday marked my three weeks since surgery. Swelling comes and goes and I really need to watch what I eat. Learned my lesson this weekend, I ate pizza and some other random stuff and the next day my nose was all swollen up! My breathing is mostly better than worse. Just very dry I find, and I was told not to apply polysporin after two weeks but my incision site is pretty evident and there are still stitches I see so I'm keepin it moist with Vaseline (when I remember). My nose has had HUGE changes and that's completely messed with my head. The front view is completely different and of course it varies with the lighting but when I'm out and catch a glimpse of myself on a mirror it looks quite shortened (pics are not s bad). I'm guessin it's from the supratip break and it stands out to me bc of the shadowing around the nostrils ugh! I never wanted this supratip break it almost isolates the tip from rest of nose making it appear bubbly? and I just want a long looking nose bc it fits my face/ I still have these little bumps on my bridge but they don't bother me too much. That dip from the break does though-its only thing I wound change and if it doesn't fill up with scar tissue a bit I have read fillers could be used but too early to think of that so ill wait! I wish I had been asked if I wanted that to begin with it does make the nose more feminine but I'm ok with a straight nose!! ps- I was googling supratip pictures and my own appeared so I freaked out and deleted my pics hah. I uploaded new ones and will see if I can others from before (when I'm not lazy). I write too much. thanks everyone for being so supportive I've been such an emotional wreck...:-/
So tomorrow will be the one month mark post my...
So tomorrow will be the one month mark post my septo-rhino. Time is going by so fast and to be honest I am a little discouraged. After the 3rd week I have seen only VERY subtle changes...and sometimes it feels as if I'm going backwards with the swelling. So, I'm pretty sure that my tip is crooked (I have seen it since cast removal) and it turns more towards the right :( . My nose feels so wide now, because it's shorter which makes the profile look nice but the front...meh. In pictures, there is always this weird shadowing around my left nostril/tip which emphasizes the tip crookedness towards the right. ugh. rhinoplasty is so friggin frustrating lol. Does tip swelling really take months?! It's so hard to know if it's swelling or it will just stay that way. Sorry for the rambling, I woke up today feeling all sad. I do not regret it because my nose before was horrible, I just feel like screaming to the skies, "Can I please finally just have a nice nose that I'm happy?!"
My left side is still congested and my skin remains quite oily. I have a follow up on Thursday, hopefully I get more answers then.
Well...I was writing a nice long rant and...
Well...I was writing a nice long rant and accidentally closed it! I'm lazy so I'll save my whining. To summarize I complained about swelling and wanting to be one of the lucky ones that have awesome results within the first month. I uploaded new pics I took today since I was feeling really crappy and went overboard with the "editing". #1&2-profile ok. Supratip break not too evident #3- I like this view of the tip. Slightly from above bit it's quite reddened #4- cutesy nasal tip, I've never had a "cute" nose it's weird to me hah. #5- hate this view. 3/4 notice the supratip break!! Waterslide-looking #6-tip slanted more so towards the right (left on the pic) #7- check out that tip in isolation. Ahh! Yeah. It's probably super swollen. I wish my nose tip hadn't been sooo droopy so I wouldn't have needed all this tip work. So that's me at one month! Yes. I know patience...but I'm trying to get used to it, in case...lol just in case, you never know. Oh and I'm not ready to upload non-edited pics yet although I'm pretty sure if someone knows me they'll recognize me haha oh well..I added smiles now.
Oh my. This updating option is different ahhhh. No...
Oh my. This updating option is different ahhhh. No I didn't rate my PS one star...and I don't know how to fix it.
Hey everyone, so it will be almost 6 weeks since...
Hey everyone, so it will be almost 6 weeks since surgery and it has been very difficult for me. These past two days I have just felt horrible and unhappy with my results. I understand, tip swelling takes a long time but despite that I should be happy with the general appearance as most swelling is now gone, but I am not. The dent is very visible especially outside with natural light, picks up all sorts of shadows making my nose appear crooked. The front still very wide, and the supratip break-still hating it. I think its that break that makes my nasaltip appear bulbous and short since from profile i still have a long nose. Just wishes it looked long and narrow from the front-it suits my face much better. I am def venting right now and I do have some days were I won't feel so horrible about myself and understand the improvement and how difficult my nose probably was but today is one of the bad ones. I am in between jobs right now so that's not helping my situation as I have all the time in the world to focus on my nose. It's really driving me nuts! I had been looking forward to this surgery since as long as I can remember and that's making me feel really sad, almost like I let myself down??? Ah I dunno. My nose was horrible before but I was happy and hopeful that It could be fixed and now there's nothing really to be hopeful for. Yeah. I know gotta wait a year...but I'm pretty sure I should be happy already *sigh*. I prefer my blissful ignorance that accompanied me with my older nose :(. Well, now I'm starting to get angry that I didn't get what I expected ugh such an emotional rollercoaster. Anyways, that should be enough ranting I just feel like noone understands and have to keep this to myself and well that's def not healthy :(. Obviously the results could be worse, but really noone goes into surgery actively expecting undesired results so...I mean I just wanted a straight nose? That's not asking a lot...ahhh sorry as I said I'm angry hmm...will post pictures tomorrow once I get over this horrible mood. I'm usually a happy person, really.
I uploaded some pictures. As you can see , I have...
I uploaded some pictures. As you can see , I have no idea what's going on with my nose. Follow up is next month, I can't wait. That second picture (in set of 4) is all sorts of craziness and makes me want to cry. Very crooked, bulbous I don't know nose looks different under different lighting, so I guess I'm never leaving my house gr. profile is still bumpy but I don't care. 3/4 view tip is obviously swollen, I had tip work done. I'm frustrated because I feel horrible that a week before surgery I emailed the PS and said I wanted my nose to be smaller than that of our imaging picture :( sooo I'm scared. Ahh. Ps- I don't even think I should edit these pics if someone knows me they would recognize the pics haha and it's about time people know!
ahh 2 months
Alright, so it is now two months since my surgery. There is decreased swelling and more imperfections are popping up. My nasal tip is slightly crooked to the right and that dent on the right is really making me hate pictures of myself. Some lighting my nose is an S shape. I'm an emotional mess even at 2 months. There is a horrible smell that comes and goes, but I don't think it's an infection there's no other symptoms of one- I continue to use the saline to cleanse inside my nose. Minimal airflow through my left nostril and I believe it's from some scar tissue on the side that's blocking the way bc if I use a Qtip and stretch the nostril a bit, airflow is better. Tip still swollen I guess. OH and dad accidentally bumped my nose so...just to make matters worse. It hurt horribly but no changes were seen really-I mean it's already crooked. And that sums up my last few weeks- Sorry I've become a bitter PO patient but really? This has been a bad experience and I'm angry. That is my 2 month vent. Oh the existence of noses *sigh...
10 weeks. Fillers? Revision? :(
So I had another follow up with my surgeon- The dent is very obvious now...so I have the option of getting a filler. He uses Restylane but I will have to wait for that another 3 months. My other option is waiting a year and having another surgery where he will use some of my cartilage from septum (AHH) to build up where the dent is. I'm so sad about it and tbh I'm scared to go through with anything else. I have a long time to think about but even the fillers scare me. I really wish I would just have good results and never look back on this... I've taken off my pictures because it's not getting better...and it makes me more sad seeing the old pictures and remembering how hopeful I still was.... I'm still avoiding as many people that I can and I'm just really disappointed that the only thing I have ever really wanted, I didn't get. I don't want to fall in the revision loop. I'm such an emotional mess at the moment. I probably won't be updating too much especially if there is no good news. I'm even thinking of moving..yep. that crazy. That is my vent for now....I think I'm 2.5 months so it's early but at this point you know what's wrong. I mean I won't complain about the size and my nose tip bc thlat could still change. It's sad that only 2.5 months after I'm already having a discussion for further surgery. How can one wait 9-10 months? The worst thing is that I can't even regret my rhinoplasty bc there was no way of me knowing this would happen and it's the risk I took. It's really sad that growing up in this society being made fun for so long drives you to do such crazy things, risk your life, your emotional state. :( :( I hate this "beauty" image that we fall victims to... sorry for the vent. It's been a long day....
It's been 10 months and am still upset about the results. At the beginning I had hope that it would get better once swelling disappeared but just got worse as all the problems/imperfections became more noticeable. Not only that but my breathing is pretty crappy, very congested and to make it worse I also have scar tissue on the inner wall of my nostril. The nostrils btw look more flared. The tip is crooked and large. It's very sad and disappointing am still not seeing certain family bc of it. I'm embarassed. Surgeon has propose a revision of which terrified. All in all it has been a horrible experience and I'm at an ultimate low which is affecting my relationship with closed ones... :-( would you trust your surgeon w a revision? Don't know what to do.
1 year post op
I can't believe it has been one year since my rhinoplasty. Actually 13 months. I'm still very unhappy and feel just so depressed with my results, looks like I will need a revision. It has been the most stressful year and my self esteem just completely plummeted. I was probably more confident before, something I would have never imagined. It seems I removed my pictures from the review, and I really don't feel like uploading them again. I know I need a revision but I am completely terrified to go through this again, I feel just so upset with everything. I was very hopeful about my results. I haven't even seen my surgeon since 6 months ago bc I feel way too upset. I have an appointment later this month. I know we will talk about revision bc I am much too unhappy with my current situation. However, I'm hesitant of undergoing surgery with the same surgeon. That is my crappy update. I'm not ready to start looking for surgeons though so, I will see how much longer I can try and keep myself sane. I'm just too upset.