Fitness Enthusiast, 32A, Wanting Modest Natural Look (304cc Natrelle)

Like many women on Realself, I’ve contemplated...

Like many women on Realself, I’ve contemplated breast augmentation for years. Until recently I’ve never actually taken these thoughts too seriously. I grew up with very low self-esteem and I have come a long way since then. I’ve really grown to love my body and really appreciate it and I find my breasts very sexy and attractive. I am a gym enthusiast and a health nut. By no means am I a body builder or fitness model but I chose that lifestyle for myself several years ago and have never turned back. I eat very clean and healthy, work out and lift weights 5-7 days per week and try to live a healthy lifestyle. Over the past year my body is probably in its best shape yet and as my body develops I see my breasts shrink. It’s so disheartening to see your whole body transforming the way you’d like it to because of all your hard work yet your breasts only get smaller. As comfortable as I became with my body, I think it finally pushed me over the edge. I think I just got to a point where I finally thought, well why not? Why not treat myself? I am 27 years old, have a successful career, and have worked very hard to get where I am today. I would just love to know what it’d be like to have boobs and feel more “womanly”. I am 5’6” around 122 lbs and wear a 32A very comfortably. I realize that I will have to take some time off of the gym for the surgery but I know in the long run that it’d be worth it. I’ve taken 2 months off before with a back injury and so long as I maintain my healthy diet I was able to bounce right back in a few weeks back at the gym. It just takes a LOT of will power. But I always love a challenge. Anyways I am very excited for the surgery and I already just want to have it over with! My BA is scheduled for November 19th, 2015. I’ll be getting silicon under the muscle anywhere between 265-300cc as I am hoping for the most natural result. I will post all about my doctor search, research and some before pics but I just wanted to get started on blogging my journey through this process as I’ve been able to learn so much from everyone else’s experiences on Realself. I’m hoping that my contribution can help others : D

Pre-op photos

Research and Doctor Choice

So after I had given this idea some serious thought I did tons of research. First and foremost I wanted to know how safe this was for your body. What are the potential complications and other risks, such as getting mammograms in the future? I also researched the products themselves (the implants) and came to the expectation that I will most likely need at least another surgery in my life. Then I researched all of the basic decisions around getting implants: size, incision site, saline/silicone, etc. I thought about the timeline for the surgery and what made the most sense for me. I purposefully decided to wait until late fall so that I can easier hide the results while I am recovering the first few months.
Once I had accepted all of the potential risks and decide it’s still what I want I looked into Doctors. I did some research and found a magazine article online that rated the top plastic surgeons in my state. Off of that list I went and looked at all of their websites and filtered through photos of their work. I have a very natural look in mind and I kept this in mind as I was looking through the results. I narrowed it down to 3 great doctors in my area. I double checked their credentials and made the consultations. After my very first consultation I was feeling really good. I was very impressed with Dr. Rosen and he made me feel incredibly comfortable and answered all of my questions. I felt I was in good hands. I had my second consultation and the doctor was almost a little cold. He pointed out all of the imperfections in my breasts and while I could tell he knew what he was doing I just didn’t feel very comfortable with him. He also didn’t seem to care much that I desired a natural look. He even made a comment about how I may have to buy specially made bras since I’ll be so huge compared to my tiny band size… Meanwhile I only want no more than a C cup. So he clearly wasn’t listening. Anyways I didn’t even bother going on the third consultation because I knew that Dr. Rosen was a professional and had the same ideals in mind as me. He was very happy that I wanted to maintain a natural look and he also had plenty of experience with women getting back into the gym after surgery. So far I am very happy with my decision. I go in for my pre-op on November 4th.

Incision site last decision

So I am very impatiently awaiting my surgery date. I planned it out so that I would be able to take 10 days off of work and also so that it is being done in the fall so I can hide the recovery a bit better in more clothing. I have my pre-op scheduled for two weeks prior. I’ll be making my final payments and going over all of the final details at that point. I am going to use silicone, smooth, round, under the muscle- most likely between 265-286cc mid-range/moderate profile. My doctor uses both under the crease and areola incisions. I still have to decide on what type I’ll be going with. I feel like the areola is a bit more invasive since you have to cut through the breast tissue, however from what I’ve seen the scaring is barely noticeable if at all once fully healed. I realize that under the crease gives the doctor the best visual and is less invasive and the scarring is also light. I just worry that since I am going with smaller implants then I am not sure how much an under the fold incision scar would be hidden under a “fold.” Does anyone have any opinions on this or could tell me the pros and cons of their particular incision sites?

Post Op Bras

So I don't have too much to update until I go in for my pre-op in a few weeks. I am starting to look into my preparations and what types of things I should buy. My doctor let me know that I'd wear the surgical bra that he provides me for 2 weeks and then after that a sports bra for another 6-8 weeks. Maybe you ladies could help me with something. I know that after the surgery you have troubles lifting your arms above your head and so front enclosed sports bras are preferred, but for about how long does this last? I'm not sure if we are talking about 2 weeks or 6 weeks before we can comfortably and safely wear sports bras over the head. This should help me in deciding what kind of bras to purchase. Any recommendations are welcome! Also, I may have to wait until after the surgery is performed because I noticed that many of these sports bra require a band and cup size which I just wouldn't want to risk guessing. Any tips!?

Time is flying by!

Time is really flying by and I can't believe that my surgery is in less than three weeks! This Thursday is my pre-op appointment and I am so excited! I have a whole list of questions for my doctor so I hope he is ready for me LOL. I'm getting a little bit nervous but I suppose that's probably pretty normal. I have these fleeting moments where I think I may miss my little bitties but then I remember all of the reasons I am doing this. Some of my second thoughts have stemmed from the fact that I've been in sort of a gym lull for the past couple weeks. I am not really sure why but I recently lost a lot of my motivation for the gym. It could be because I started a new job that's a long commute each day and a lot of hard work so I come home late and exhausted each day. Anyways I have been going to the gym 5-7 days a week for the past 2 years without any lull so a little time off shouldn't do much harm. It's just that I know that I'll be regretting it after my surgery when I physically can't work out! I am hoping it just gives me that much more motivation to get back in the gym after the surgery and get back on track. But yea the gym was my main reason for getting this surgery, since I don't ever plan to give up my fit lifestyle and my boobs only want to shrink on me!

I finally told my mother about the surgery this week. My mother and I aren't too close but I wouldn't be able to have a surgery like that without her knowing. She was very supportive and was confident that I made the right decision for myself. It was kind of nice to have someone to talk to about it other than my poor boyfriend who has to hear about it all the time. I've told my sister all about it and one of my girlfriends and they are both very supportive. I try not to talk to my sister too much about it since she has always wanted implants and just could never really afford to do it. So I try to be careful not to rub it in her face at all but she is very happy for me. My girlfriend was funny and told me that I have the most "normal" quarter life crisis of all her friends. That made me laugh!! Anyways I don't have too much to update. I am just really excited and am impatiently waiting to be on the other side of this. Reading everyone's reviews on here has been so helpful and makes me feel so much more confident and prepared going in. Thanks ladies!!


Pre op appointment!

So I had my pre-op appointment yesterday and I came with a list of questions for the doctor. He wasn’t thrilled with the fact that I had some expectations or ideas so far of what I’d need to do to prepare pre and post op based on all the other reviews I’ve read. I totally understand that every person and every case is different but after reading all of these things I just needed to know whether or not I should be thinking about these things or trying them as well.

Ice: He let me know that since I’ll be using the pain pump for the operation that I shouldn’t require any icing of the breasts after.

No shaving armpits: I asked him why it says not to shave my armpits for a few days which I was very confused about LOL. He told me that he doesn’t mind the European look haha! He explained to me that shaving the underarms causes openings for bacteria and since I’ll need to keep as clean and sanitary as possible to avoid shaving for 3-5 days prior to surgery. He also gave me a package of sponges and antibacterial soap to use starting 2 days before surgery including the morning of.

Chest workouts: I asked him about working out the chest before surgery. He let me know that the more defined and toned my chest is at the time of surgery, the more likely I may feel more discomfort. I have essentially already halted all chest exercises for 2 months now except for some slight moves in pilates.

Bloating: I asked about bloating and he let me know that since I’ll be using the pain pump it should be minimal as I won’t need the Percocet/vicodins so much. I guess that is what creates the bloating is when you’re taking a lot of those pain killers.

Animation deformity: I asked him what happens if I have an extreme case of animation deformity? He really reassured me on this one that if I follow his instructions I won’t have to worry about this. He explained to me how this tends to happen. It could be from surgery and how the muscle is cut or it could be from someone using their chest muscles too heavily in recovery.

He asked me about my incision and I let him know that I am leaning towards the peri-areola incision. He did insist that both incisions could be very faint after so it is up to me which way I go. He also asked me what cup size I’d like to be and this actually threw me off a bit since I haven’t really thought much in terms of cup size. I told him a C cup and I think what I really meant was a large B or small C. At a C cup he suggested 304 or 339 cc. That is WAY too big. I told him I was thinking between 265-286cc and he felt strongly that 265cc would be too small. After double checking through m measurements he also agreed that 339 would be too big since I have such a tiny waist. So now I am debating between 286 and 304 cc and I will have to email him to let him know. I hadn’t even put too much thought into 304 but the doctor seems to think its best to go one size up to be sure I don’t have boob greed after... Any thoughts on that? Sorry for the long post. Just so anxious and excited!!

Changed Doctors

Does anyone know how to change the doctor on your review? It will only let me change the review of the doctor. There doesn't seem to be any help or support on this site or at least none that I can find. Anyone know what I can do?

Change of plans..

So I had quite the whirlwind of a day yesterday I felt like I was losing my mind. So it all started when the night before I sent my doctor an email with my preferred size and incision site as he requested from the pre-op. (In the pre-op he did not have any sizers for me to put on so I had to rely on my own homemade rice sizers at home to make the determination over the weekend). In the pre-op he asked me what cup size I wanted to be and I didn’t really know what to say since I haven’t thought too much in terms of cup size honestly. I fumbled and said C cup and he proceeded to talk to me about implants much larger than what I was comfortable with. So naturally when I chose my final size range and emailed him the info I wanted to explain the fumble. I tried to write down what I wanted in terms of my look (sportier, not too top heavy) but I was afraid that he wouldn’t really know what I was talking about through writing. So I racked my brain on some celebs that have a full B/ small C that I could show him size-wise for a visual and sent him a pic of Jessica Biel in a bikini. Apparently he jumped the gun and misunderstood my intentions because the next morning I got a voicemail from him saying he isn’t comfortable performing my surgery anymore and that he’ll be refunding my money. I was literally in shock and tears calling him back wondering why on earth he would cancel since he gave no real explanation. He basically assumed that I just wanted to look like this celebrity and I’ll never be happy with the outcome! So I reassured him that last night was the first time I even looked at a celebrity and that I only just wanted to show him a visual of the type of size I wanted (since I was so afraid of him going too big). And he was so stubborn and arrogant about it. He said he understood but that it’s too late and he’s already made up his mind and refunded my money. I was infuriated! He is just so arrogant it’s ridiculous that he is too good for a wish pic!? Honestly I think I have a better body than her anyways LOL so it’s kind of insulting!! So I was just like you know what that is so rude and inconsiderate to do to someone just days before a surgery and for no reason. Like that literally came out of left field! So unprofessional. So he doesn’t have sizers to try on, he didn’t even like the fact that I made my own sizers at home, and then he refuses to see a wish pic! He honestly believes that “he knows best for my body” so I should just trust him to put in whatever he wants. NO THANK YOU!!!

Anyways I feel like everything happens for a reason because I later called up my other top choice surgeon and his assistant was so kind and sweet and was able to squeeze me in only a day later than my originally planned surgery date. She talked to me on the phone all about her implants and personal experience and was so nice and helpful that I know this all happened for a reason. I went in for a late pre-op with her and the doctor and it was such a better experience. He answered all of my questions and didn’t fault me for looking things up online and doing research like the other doctor did. He explained everything to me, made me feel comfortable, his assistant helped me try on all the different sizers (which were actual implants) and he seemed very comfortable and in tuned with the look that I wanted. It was such a relief! I also feel so much more confident with the sizes now that I was actually able to try them on and see how it’d look on my particular frame. Most likely will be 304cc natrelle style 15 moderate plus or somewhere in that range of sizes. He will figure out what looks the best on the day of the surgery and I trust his judgement. I still can’t even believe all that happened. But I feel like I’m in way better hands now and I’m back to being excited. I’m sure the nerves will settle back in next week but I just can’t wait to be on the other side!!

Most of the pre-op instructions were the same except that he doesn’t have me wrapped in anything after the surgery. He said when I come back in for the post op visit he will assess what I need. He may put a compression band on me or put me in a bra, etc. depending on how they look and are doing. Unfortunately he doesn’t use the novocain injection/pain pump like I was anticipating but honestly he said that he used to use it and it wasn’t too effective and it’s a little riskier so he stopped. And with the push of one more day out that means I will legit have to go to my uncle’s wedding on Day 1 post op. AH! So yea that won’t be fun but I will just try to be in and out and get back to resting. Anyways thanks for listening to me ramble. So crazy! Thank goodness things worked out!!! I’m feeling so much better now and weirdly enough I’m glad this happened because now I am not stressing about what size I should be since my new surgeon made sure to fit me in all the different sizes so I knew what I was comfortable with and what I wasn’t. Stay tuned!!

Real sizers in at the pre-op

T minus 3 days

Holy crap. Just 3 more days and on Friday I shall have boobs! I am so excited but every now and then I get a bit nervous. Time has been flying by and I've been SO busy at work that I haven't really had any time to let the nerves set in... which I guess is probably a good thing. I tend to overthink everything so I'm almost shocked I haven't had more cold feet type thoughts. For maybe a split second I'm thinking OMG what did I get myself into but then I'm back to thinking of me with boobs and I am so happy again LOL.

So with my final days approaching I squeezed in a mini photo shoot so to speak. The sad thing is that I only own one bralette. That's it. Other than that it is all molded/contoured or padded bras. I never felt sexy without a little contour or padding until the last 2 years maybe. I only bought that bralette for lingerie purposes I would never be caught dead wearing that under clothes I'd feel so gross looking that flat! I'm sure some of you flatter ladies understand exactly what I mean. So yea I took some befores in it but it's really so tiny who knows if I'll even fit in it after. We shall see.

Some last minutes thoughts. After snapping these pics I really saw my asymmetry. My lefts breast is slightly smaller and a bit higher. My doctor informed me that will likely not change. I always noticed I was a tiny bit smaller on one side but never even noticed how one was higher up than the other. Very interesting. I have a bad back so that may very well be a factor in terms of my spine and posture. Anyways I am hoping it won't look horribly noticeable post op as I expect those differences to be a little accentuated once larger. Hoping I am just overthinking it. Also my last thought was on the incisions site. I spoke to my doctor over the phone yesterday and he really thought inframammary was the way to go for me since I don't have much contrast between my breast skin and areola. He said if there was more contrast it'd be easier to hide scarring. He suggested I stick with inframammary as he assured me that the scar wouldn't be visible unless I lift up my breast. Is there anyone further along in the healing process that can vouch for this. I am so worried about hideous scars and I see so many women posting their areola scars that aren't even noticeable at all after 8 months or so.

Made it to the other side

Hey ladies! I made it! The process was so smooth and easy. I went in a bit early for blood work. I registered my info with the hospital. After that the doctors came in to see me and introduce themselves. They gave me a nebulizer treatment for my athsma in case the anesthesia triggers anything. My surgeon showed up and marked me up. They wheeled me in the next room and they let my boyfriend know theyd call him. Once I was in the surgery room everyone was so nice and excited for me. They put on some michael jackson amd talked some medical terms and I faded out. Woke up back in my oroginal hospital room and wowzer i had boobs! Feels so surreal. The whole elephant sitting on my chest is a good description for sure. I came home and slept reslly good. Still very tight and a little sore. Before i take more meds im trying to get some food in my tummy. I have a really bad feeling i wont make my uncles weddding tmrw. We shall see. But if i feel like this theres no way. I am allowed to shower from the bottom down today and tomorrow and on sunday i can shower full body just keep it more of a light rinse on top. My post op appt is monday. So happy to be on the other side.

First day post op

So I forgot to mention yesterday that my surgeon chose 304 cc as my best fit for the look I wanted. So happy! The staff at the hospital were all so nice and friendly and sweet. It was a really great experience. They put on some michael jackson music just as I nodded out. How fun! They were joking around saying I preferred xmas music haha since apparently my surgeon really likes xmas music. I couldnt have asked for a nicer team.
So far today I slept in as the meds are making me drowsy. Just taking vicadins for pain and flexeril for muscle relaxer. My surgeon mentioned that the miscle relaxers will help the most for that feeling of tightness. The pain and tightness is pretty bearable except for when i get up out of bed or from the couch from laying down. Thats a bit rough. I imagine that will continue until the pockets are fully healed. My pecs will flinch or flex now and then and its anwerid scary feeling but I'm sure thats very normal. I've been taking colace stool softener for two days prior to surgery and it actually didnt do too much for me. I dont feel bloated now but its probably cuz I havent eaten too much. I am currently drinking some "smooth move" tea. I'm gonna try to eat some oatmeal or raisin bran next to see what happens.

I mentioned that I had a wedding to go to today but that wont be happening. I am walking a little hunched over and doing the robot lol. Theres no way I'd be making it to a wedding. So I'm planning to stay home and relax so I dont push my body. My surgeon didnt wrap me in anything. No bra. Just some tape over the incisions under the crease. My follow up is Monday and he said we will take it from there what the next step will be. i will keep you guys posted!

Went for a brief walk

Day two post op and I'm feeling slightly better than yesterday. I'm taking barely any meds today since all they do is knock me out. Boyfriend and I went for a walk around our place for a good 15-20 mins. It felt nice to get off my butt and get some fresh air. Its so painful to sit up or stand up but after I do it feels really good to stand up and walk around. Getting very bloated today as I havent gone #2 just yet. I've been taking a stool softener, colace, since two days prior to surgery and it hasnt done much for me. The pharmacist recommeded that I take dulcolax along with the colace and she said I should go by tonight or tomorrow morning. I'll also be taking my first full shower tonight and I'm sure that will feel really good! My surgeon said to do a very light rinse for the top half of my body and that the tape over the incisions should hold since they're water proof. Going to try and eat some more prunes!

Day 3 update

Quick update on how my recovery has been going. So far each day has gone slightly better than the previous day. Morning boob is real and the pain was out of control the first few days and now ots a lot more bearable. I was instructed to take deep breaths and to even cough but it felt so tight it made me feel like it was wrong to do. I forced myself to every now and then though. I showered for the first time last night and it felt amazing. Unfortunately I really messed up my back while trying to scrub myself. Holding my arms up was a disaster and must have triggered my back muscles to help out and my back tensed up. I felt like I could do it on my own but I definitely should have just let my boyfriend scrub me head to toe. Leason learned.
I get an occasional zing pr pinch here and there. My right incision will sting every now and then, not so much my left tho. I've yet to actually see my incisions really although after my shower my left bandage started to peel off and I got a sneak peak and it looked great! Straight thin line woth no bruising. But I should hopefully really see them today at my post op appt.
My wedge pillow has been serving me pretty well at night although I hate sleeping on my back. Its really been messing with my neck. Its so unnatural for me to sleep partially sotting up and on my back so I take a muscle relaxer right before bed to help me fall asleep. My doctor said even after I feel fine to continue taking the muscle relaxers as it will help in the healing process. I'm taking vicadin, muscle relaxer, colace and dulculax. My pharmacist recommended I take the dulcolax with the colace, 1 each 3x per day and after the third time last night I finally went #2!! Ive been weening myself off the vicadins which may have helped as well.
As you'll see in the pics I took last night my breasts look like two torpedoes lol so its so hard for me to visualize the end result. Im just so happy to have boobs. I know they will look great in the end so I'm not going to nit pick at all. I totally see how one is bigger but I knew that going in so owell. Maybe thatll just make me look more natural? Anyways i feel like itll be less noticeable down the road once theyve dropped and fluffed.

Quick update before bed

It felt so nice to shower tonight. I think the heat on my back helps my achiness and sore muscles. Anyways this time I had my boyfriend scrub me from the torso up and it went much smoother this time. I also attempted to quickly try and shave my armpits. That went ok. I'm going to try to do some light stretching for my arms as per my doctors instructions. He let me know that I dont need to wear any bra and if I wanted to just to make sure that its nothing pressing down to much like a high compression bra and no underwire.
I asked about scars and he said that I shouldnt touch them just yet and to wait until 2-3 weeks out to start treating. He said most scar creams will do andecent job but he said its actually the act of massaging the scars that helps it fade. I heard that before but didnt know how true it was. So I'm going to keep them in a bandaid for now so they dont rub against things.
I have some numbness and tingliness around my breasts on the under sodes and nipples. He said the fact that its tingling means that the feeling will eventually come back. So im not worried about that at all. So far now I will just keep relaxing, do my stretches, take care of my body and wait for them to heal :)


Just wanted to show my incision sites. My left side looks great and my right is really scabbed up. My surgeon instructed me to keep them bandaged for now and not to treat with any scar cream or do any massages. I am pretty bummed the my right side is a bit scabbed up meaning it may not scar too nicely but I know there is lots I can do to improve the appearance over time plus it will be right under the fold. So I just need some patience. I also hate that part of my tattoo is being tucked under the fold which is so dosappointing. But again who knows how it will look in the end. I knowe that was a possibility going in so I can suck it up! At least I have boobs now!! Just a minor bummer but overall I am so happy and don't regret a thing!!

Happy Turkey Day

Happy thanksgiving to all of my american friends!! Hope everyone was happy and healthy with their friends and family.
So I tried on my first bra today and it felt good to kind of have them contained. I was thinking to wear it underneath a top since I'll be out in public for the holiday. Anyways I was getting ready to leave the house and I was in a lot of pain. I soon realized it was the bra compressing my boobs since as soon as I unhooked it I felt instant relief. So there goes that idea.. At least for now. I bought these breast covers last week when I was thinking I'd actually make it to the wedding. I wore the full silicone breast covers in C cup size and they stuck right to my skin amd were perfect to hide my hypersensitive nipples. Highly recommend it to anyone else who is more comfortable braless. I got them at target but they also sell at walmart and most women's clothing stores.
Other updates: seem to be going #2 semi regularly now (taking 1 colace a day now), still taking muscle relaxers throughout the day and right before bed. I'm also still sleeping on my wedge pillow setup on my back. Feel pretty tight and get zings and pains but not so bad. I took a half a vicadin when I was trying on bras since it made me sore. I'm also able to lift my arms a bit higher although I dont have full range back just yet. My surgeon advised i do light stretches for my arms. No change in the numbness on the lower part of my breast. I expect that to take several months to come back so I'm not worried. Havent attempted to drive just yet. Lifting small items strain my pecs a bit so I am still being very cautious. Even carrying my damn purse causes my chest to start spasming!! So I'm still taking it easy. Goodnight ladies :D

Day 8 post op update

I didn't post my one week update like I had planned since I was so busy so day 8 will have to do. So I mentioned how on Thursday I had tried on that bra and it ended up hurting me so I took it off. Well ever since then I've felt horrible. It felt as if I were back on days 1 and 2 post op. I'm not really sure if thats normal or not so feel free to provide feedback. After the surgery I was feeling progressively better each day little by little. Then thursday something hit me. Maybe it was the bra or something else but I cant think of anything else really. But Friday I felt like I was back at day 1 post op. Ugh. Its been getting better since then but all the heavy chest tightness is back :/ Also the hunched look is back... perhaps it is normal though but I really felt like the worst was over!

Anyways I have another follow up with my surgeon in 4 days so I'm hoping it's nothing serious and I can wait until then. I just get nervous because my left side is giving me so much pain. Very tight. Muscle spasms the second my muscle relaxers wear off. And It feels so sore like its bruised on the side boob area. But I see no bruising thankfully. I can feel the implant there on both sides. Is that normal? I feel like I've read that is normal somewhere. But is it supposed to feel sore? Only my left side is.

My incisions seem to be doing well. I put on some vaseline and a bandaid to cover them. I'm also still overanalyzing the differences in each breast but I know I need to lay off. I'm still currently wearing no bra. I did some research online as to why some surgeons prefer using a bra right away and others prefer to have patients go braless. Interestingly enough the main factor was that a compression bra helps with the swelling, bleeding, and bruising underneath and obviously provides support. Going braless may expedite the "dropping" process. I was just interested really. But in the end my swelling wasn't too bad and I have no bruising at all so it seems my surgeon knew whats best for me.

I'm posting some pics from tonight. Makes me realize how big I may end up being once they drop and fluff. Crazy! I still cant believe its real sometimes LOL I also posted a pic in the silicone nipple covers. Those things help soooo much with nipple sensitivity although it doesn't feel the greatest when you peel it off... I plan to keep using the despite the pain when ripping them off. Nothing more irritating all day than my nips rubbing against my clothes. Ahh!

12 Days post op Appt.

So I had my second post op visit with my doctor and all went well. He let me know to continue my stretches and that I should be able to lift up my arms fully so I will start working on that. He also mentioned that it's perfectly normal that each breast is healing at a different pace. He mentioned that my right pec was more developed than my left and that may contribute as well. I'm very right hand dominant so that makes sense especially now that I am realizing we use our chest muscles for almost everything!!

He told me that I no longer need to wear the bandage over my incisions unless I am wearing a bra that might rub up on it while it's still closing up. He also told me that I can start wearing a bra to counteract the pec muscles pushing them apart. Essentially the pec muscles start up by your armpits and while they're healing the are pushing the implants down and outwards. Obviously we'd like cleavage so to counteract this he told me to wear a push up bra to help push the breasts together a bit while they heal. He specifically said not to wear a compression bra or anything that will constrict them flat. So conveniently he is located right down the street from the mall and I went to Macy's and Target to find some bras.

My first attempt at wearing a bra was horrendous and sent me into regression. But I believe it was because it was too compressing. I tried to find some wirefree pushups but they just weren't really doing much for pushing in from the sides. I did buy 1 wirefree warner's bra just purely for comfort. I figure it can help hold them in place while I sleep. Then I bought 2 Maidenform bras. One has extra cushion on the sides and I wore that one tonight as it was the tougher of the two. It went ok although I did take half a vicadin. My right side just had this very particular pain that would come and go while wearing the bra. I think its because my right is a bit bigger and so it gets a little compressed. If I put my finger in the bra and push out to give it some room the pain would subside.

Anyways I'll be wearing bras now in hopes to get the girls a little closer together. Pain is beauty right? On a side note- I totally love my boobs and am so glad to have done this. I'm so happy with them I feel like a new me. However, whenever I take progress pics I see how uneven they are and it worries me a bit. I did notice that when I took the side pics that my left is still tuckered up and tighter and my right has dropped. So it gives me hope that once my left drops they may look more even. Anyways I have a long road ahead of me so I won't stress about it. I'm still over the moon about them.

Health, bras, workout update

I was so happy to have my first day working out! Wooooo!!!! It felt so amazing I was on a high all night. I did some high intensity booty barre exercises. I kept it to all cardio and lower body. I felt comfortable doing abs with my arms down beside me but when I lift my arms above my head I could tell it was straining my chest muscles so I decided to stay clear of that. But it went well!

Health & Mobility
Other than that I've been doing pretty well (knock on wood). I had a bit of a regression last week but by about day 12 I was completely fine and have been doing well since then. Not much at all for morning boob. I've gained most of my flexibility back in my arms. I shower with no help from the boyfriend anymore! I've been able to drive the past few days just fine. It was a bit uncomfortable turning the steering wheel at first but its ok. I took one vicadin a few days ago but other than that I've been taking mostly nothing and sometimes ibuprofen. I will take muscle relaxers sometimes before bed to help me sleep since my sleep cycle has been off a bit. Still sleeping on my sloped wedge pillow zone that I created in my bed lol. It just feels so uncomfortable/painful to lean over and have my breasts hang down and also to be on my side. Eeek. I will be staying on my wedge pillow for the time being.

Good news! My breasts have been softening up a little more each day and today I was able to touch my boobs together!! So the pushup bras were really causing some pains and plus I was worried about it stretching my incision so I stopped wearing it. I found the most comfortable bra ever to wear both in the day and overnight. The genie bra! Super cheap too! It keeps everything in place and is nice and gentle on my skin. And it comes with lining to help with my hypersensitive nipples. It doesn't necessarily push my breasts together like crazy but it puts them so that they're both straight ahead and dont stick out the sides. Ever since my doctor mentioned being able to push my implants together I realized how much they'd fall to the sides at night. So I'll definitely be wearing the genie bra more. I stuck some socks in the sides of it today to get some extra push from the sides. Anyways I found a 3 pack of genie bras at burlington coat factory for $9.99!! Online they're $10 each. The sports bra I wore was a two pack at burlington coat factory for $8! It's xo brand size medium. I used to be smalls or extra smalls in everything so this is my first ever medium sized anything lol.

Possible CC?

So I am really hoping that this is all a figment of my imagination but The last few days I've been feeling a weird pain in my right breast. It's a really tight feeling inside and I don't get that feeling on the left side at all. It feels the worst whenever I am leaning over and the girls are hanging. It feels like righty is balling up and tightening or something. I've been looking up what the symptoms are for capsular contracture and I'm so afraid that's what's going on. Most ladies posted a hard, firm, larger looking breast and some say they noticed the signs as early as two weeks. Does anyone have experience with this? I am going through so much trouble at my job right now just to have taken the time off for this surgery I would dread having another one. Would anyone be able to share their symptoms or experience with this? I have a doctors appointment on Wednesday and can ask him about it then. I may try to move it up to earlier if possible. I'm having lots of anxiety over this and I'm really hoping that I'm just over thinking things.

Clean Bill of Health

Hi ladies,

Good news! I met with my doctor this morning and he assured me that everything I described is normal. Interestingly enough he said that typically a person that is dominant in one hand over the other, the pecs are about 4 times the size as the side not used as much. I found that to be really fascinating. No wonder I am a little lopsided! LOL Anyways he said that when the implant moves around in the envelope (like when I lean over and they hang) it will cause the pec to constrict and on the more developed side this would result in more tightening obviously. He said this will most certainly go away in time.

Other than that we discussed massaging and scars. He told me that as far as massages go there isn't much evidence to support that it does anything. He told me for my particular sake I could push up on the implant from the bottom corners up and closer together. This could help in fighting against the pecs which push down and outwards on the implant. He said I could do this 10 times once a day each side. He said it's not necessary though. As far as pushing the implants closer together he said to keep trying to push on them until the 6 month mark. He said it could definitely help in fighting against the pecs which are trying to push the implants apart from each other.

Scars. He said there is no evidence that any of the scar creams of gels actually work. He said I could try it if it gives me peace of mind. He put on silicone strips for me today. He said that they may speed up the healing process but he said the final result will look exactly the same. So he said it's up to me if I'd like to continue using them. The sheets were meant for C section scars so he just cut it in half and it fit perfectly. They are washable and reusable.

Oh and my boobs have this weird squeeky toy feeling. It's too funny. Ever since the doctor massaged them this morning I felt this squeeky friction feeling now when they bounce or move at all. I find it hilarious. It'd be so funny if they actually squeeked. Can you imagine. Ok I'm getting carried away now LOL. I am sure this will also go away at some point. Doesn't bother me at all. All good news and now I won't see him again for another 2 months. I'll post some more update pics soon!

One Month post op!

So I haven't been on in over a week since my personal life has been so hectic. But nonetheless I am still very happy with my new girls! The unfortunate thing that I have noticed is that whenever I take some update photos for a post on this blog I always see the unevenness. Honestly I am in LOVE with them 24/7 and am so happy until I take a photo of them. It's so embarrassing that I can't even bring myself to post the really bad ones. But the weird thing is that they don't look like that AT ALL in person. In fact I was under the impression the unevenness was fading until today's photo session. I really cant express enough how much I hate it. But at least it's not very noticeable in person which is a relief. I may post a photo to the realself doctors to see if they have any recommendations on how to help them even out. Perhaps certain massages. I don't have another appointment with my surgeon for another 2 months and it's kind of hard to explain over the phone. I'm way too busy right now with the holidays to see him at the moment but perhaps in a couple weeks. He did say I can do massages so I'm wondering if doing certain massages one one side might help them even out? I am posting some photos where you can clearly see how my left has not dropped nearly as much as the right, it also looks a bit smaller, and it also had a slightly higher crease pre-op. I posted a full body to help those to see how they look in proportion to the rest of my frame. I know how deceiving some of the close ups can be.

As far as my progress I really have no complaints and no major updates. The skin is peeling a bit around my incision but I just put some moisturizer on it. The incisions have fully closed up but I can still feel some stitching poking out. I just leave it be. It doesn't bother me at all. I have been doing some more rigorous training at the gym. Still no upper body just yet. I have been power walking uphill on the treadmill and doing some quite rigorous leg workouts. I try to use the machines as much as possible so I don't have to lift any weights with my arms but today for example I did bulgarian split squats holding two 10 pound kettlebells. For abs I noticed that you don't really flex your chest if you do ab exercises on a mat with your arms beside your body. Once you lift your arms above your head or use your arms to hold onto anything you trigger your pecs. It doesn't hurt at all when I flex my pecs. I just don't want to push them when they're in such a vulnerable state so I am giving it more time. It still hurts and tightens up a bit on my right side when I lean over and let them hang or when I lean on my left side so that righty hangs. She is still very sensitive to sliding around in the pocket however my left side seems fine with that. So I still sleep on my back on my wedge pillow for now. I've gotten pretty used to it LOL. Overall I feel like I am healing nicely. I am just getting impatient with my left side but I'm sure she'll eventually catch up.

Happy Holidays everyone!! xoxo

Could use some support- bottoming out

So I have really been avoiding this site lately and I feel really bad for it. But the only updates that I have are not the greatest so I’ve been just dreading it. So I took another update photo of my incisions because I forgot to in my last post. And it hit me. My incisions were moving up/ my crease was moving down. I was shocked to see it in my comparison pics. Coupled with the fact that I seem so bottom heavy I did a lot of research online and found that I am most likely bottoming out.

I posted a question to the doctors of realself along with a bunch of photos and every doctor concluded that YES I am bottoming out. One suggested that there may be some things I could do about it while the pocket is still healing to potentially help. But the rest basically suggested that a revision will most likely be necessary no matter what I do in the interim. I’ve concluded that it’s neither mine nor my surgeons fault but I do beat myself up a bit. So I will explain a little about what it is and how it is happening to me. Bottoming out could happen if the surgeon places an implant too big, tries to lower the crease unsuccessfully, or if they don’t dissect the pocket with enough room in the upper pole. None if this is the case with my surgeon. So the last reason is my skin’s elasticity. Basically since I am very thin, my tissue has stretched to accommodate the implant… just a little bit too much in my case. Although my doctor knew that my skin would have some give to it, he couldn’t have predicted it would give so much. I honestly think he did a wonderful job and have no doubts in his abilities.

The reason why I am beating myself up a bit is because I went in to see him about my concerns and he suggested that I wear underwire pushups full time. And he assumed I had been mostly wearing it up until now but I haven’t been. It was so uncomfortable that I’d only wear it for a couple hours a day and many days I never even put it on. But he was suggesting the pushup for more cleavage. And he said I've done a great job as my breasts have definitely moved closer together. I would always wear the genie bra for some support on the sides but it was giving virtually no bottom support which I didn't realize would be an issue. So I basically regret not forcing myself to wear it more because maybe my crease wouldn’t have lowered so much : ( Anyways my ps gave me a couple of techniques to help raise the crease. He told me that he was confident the crease wouldn’t drop any further than where it is. He told me that I could perhaps raise the crease back up 1 cm if I do as instructed and am fully committed for the next 6 weeks while the pocket continues to heal. So I need to wear underwire bras for sure. He gave me the hair curler wedges. They basically look like those pool noodles but with a wire running inside of them. I’ve personally never seen these before but he said they’re for curling hair. He gave me 2 of them to place under my breasts, inside of my bra for added lift. He also gave me a hockey shoe string to wear in a way that will help hold my breasts up. I will post photos.

So I will basically do anything to help the situation I am in. But I am not too happy with the outcome of my visit with him. He didn’t actually address whether or not I was bottoming out although in his defense I didn’t ask him flat out. I told him I didn’t like the way they looked being so full on the bottom and his response was "that’s what breasts look like". He said some women actually prefer a full under pole. The other thing he said was that my nipples were pointing straight out indicating everything is normal. At the time I didn’t disagree but as soon as I got home and looked for myself I completely disagree and you can see this in my side profile photos. I think the problem was that he examined me while I was sitting and slouching so in that case my nipples would probably seem forward facing. So he said to give this a try for 6 weeks and after that nothing more can be done. I scheduled a follow up for 1 month. But overall he seems happy with the results and it gives me anxiety that I am not happy with it.

I am just really worried and over thinking everything as always. What if I can’t get my crease to raise back up 1 cm? What if I can and it still doesn’t look right? What if it raises back up and looks great but then I have to go the rest of my life wearing pushup and super support bras so it doesn’t drop on me? What if I have to get a revision? When would I need to go back in again? How much would it cost? How would this affect my job?

Another issue I didn’t get to mention to him was that because my nipples sit so high, I find it hard to wear bras or bathing suits. I will find bras that fit my breast perfectly or swim tops but then my nipple always peaks out. I am so happy with the size and shape and how well the incisions are healing. So pleased with my ps and his work. I just literally wish my nipples were to drop a bit lower. I feel like I am so close to a perfect recovery :/ I am like mad at my body for giving out so much on the bottom and mad at myself for not noticing it earlier to potentially address it. In the end I have mixed feelings. My surgeon is saying that 1cm crease raise could fix all this. Then again he thinks they look fine now and that my nipples are straight. And then I have the realself doctors explaining that I could try some techniques but most likely I’d need a revision. It’s just the worst feeling in the world and I really don’t want to wait another month to see my surgeon and talk about my options. But most likely no matter what, my ps will want me to finish with the curler and string techniques to see if that could help or not so I should just be patient and optimistic. Sorry for the longest post ever!!

Week 10- bottoming out update

Hi ladies, It’s about 10 weeks out now. Almost at the 3 month mark! I read somewhere that at 3 months you’re 85% healed already. Not sure how true it is but it certainly feels that way. At about 2 months I got most of the feeling back in my lower pole and my nipple sensitivity had gone away. Now I feel like almost fully have all feeling back. There is just very slight numbness in the lower pole but it’s not even enough to bother me and I’m sure it all feeling will be back soon enough. I am able to do full upper body workouts although I do not plan to work out my chest at all. I take a muscle relaxer after my upper body workouts to help relax the pecs. I am basically already feeling like they’re a part of me and I am getting more and more used to them.

I haven’t been as active as I used to be since I have been going through issues with my implants. About a month ago I raised some serious concerns to my ps. I feared that I was bottoming out. My nipples were high and my breast is so bottom heavy. Personally, I really don’t like how they look. I think it makes me look fake and I chose such a small implant specifically because I wanted to look natural. A lot of people don’t know too much about bottoming out so I will try my best to give a brief explanation of what it is and what it means. Essentially bottoming out is when the implant slides down on the chest wall. Bottoming out may NOT necessarily be a problem. You can have slight bottoming out and love how they look. My surgeon thinks mine look great and other ladies agree but I do not. Signs of bottoming out may include your crease becoming lower on your chest, incision scars rising up, and nipples that point up higher instead of straight out. Now some people have naturally higher or lower pointing nipples so please understand that all of this is a matter of opinion. Bottoming out is just terminology used to explain the situation. Sometimes this means no cause for concern whatsoever.

There are several reasons why implants bottom out. 1. The way the pocket was formed- not enough room up top or too much room down below. 2. Altering the crease- this can create a weak point 3. Too large of an implant 4. Weak tissue/skin elasticity. Now the first 3 reasons will most likely be noticeable right away in the first couple months or so. But if your skin is very weak then it may take 6 months + or even years for bottoming out to occur and in that case there may be cause for concern. In my particular case, most likely the implants will not be falling any further. After you hit the 3 month mark, they should basically fall where they are going to fall. This is why some doctors may not believe there is a problem. Many doctors believe that bottoming out only truly exists in cases like #4 where it can continually and gradually get worse. Ok so I hope that gives you all a better idea of what I’m talking about here.

So 4 weeks ago I expressed my concerns with my surgeon. He didn’t agree that there was a problem but in any case he gave me some techniques to try to elevate the implants back up in order to help my crease move back up. We are talking just a centimeter or 2 here so I was still discouraged. I thought 2 cm? That is not going to be enough to bring them up to where I want them to be! Despite those thoughts I gave it my best shot and stayed positive in hopes this may fix my problems. The first technique he showed me was using a string tied around my neck scooping under the breasts to hold them up. I have it pictured with a bra on but he said to get the best results to do it under the bra and right on my skin. So I did. And boy did it kill my neck and give me rope burn on my boobs! Also he had these foam rollers used to curl hair. I cut those to fit in the bottom of each cup in my bra, essentially for extra pushup and lift. The third method I used that I came up with on my own after some research in attempts to find a more comfortable alternative was an ace wrap. I took a regular ace wrap and wrapped it around my ribcage under the breasts. It took a couple wraps to get it to the right amount of tightness to push the implants up while also loose enough on my ribcage so that I can breathe. Nonetheless for the last 4 weeks, 24/7 every minute besides my showers, I would uses one or multiple of these techniques.

AND YAY! I noticed improvements after 10 days or so. All in all my crease had risen up about 1.5 cm. Unfortunately they still looked so bottom heavy and I wasn’t thrilled with the results. I saw my ps on Jan 25th and showed him the results. I let him know that I still wasn’t pleased with the outcome and he went over 3 options with me that I could consider. 1. Replace implants with gummy bear implants (I guess they’re textured so they won’t slide)- he didn’t recommend this because gummy bear implants have a lot of other difficulties and potential for future problems. 2. Replace with a 4x smaller implant with the same diameter as my current implant to keep the cleavage I have. I obviously hate that idea. 3. Small in office procedure to open the incision and essentially “traumatize” the tissue underneath the implant to create swelling that may hold the implant up in place. He said there is a 50/50 chance this may even work on me. So I left the office very disappointed and immediately scheduled for a second opinion with a doctor who specializes in revisions. I have my appointment tomorrow.

Since my doctors appointment last week I have stopped all of my string, roller, ace wrap techniques as he let me know it’s no longer going to have an effect. And after a few days of halting these efforts guess what… My implants fell all the way back to where they originally started from over a month ago. Actually even lower. SO disappointing. Those of you wondering if it’s worth it to try to push up techniques I would still recommend it since I did see a difference. Unfortunately for me they just fell back where the wanted to fall. This leads me to believe this is just where my doctor formed the pocket and created my incisions. You can see from photos that my crease was significantly lowered from before and in my opinion it was probably just a bit too much. I’m so happy with the shape and fullness and am really getting used to them. Under clothes I’ve had no problems. But I’ve tried on some bikinis and because of how high my nipples are they tend to show or come very close to showing. I am still staying positive about everything though. I sent an email to my doctor to show him the falling of my implants since last week and asked again for any other options. I will also keep you posted on my visit tomorrow with another ps for a second opinion. I really hate the idea of spending another $8k on breast revision with another doctor so I am hoping my surgeon takes my unhappiness seriously and accommodates me. We shall see. I’ll keep you posted. Thanks for all the love! Xoxoxo

2nd Opinion today

So I just got back from meeting with another surgeon in CT that specifically has a high success rate for revisions. He first stated the obvious. Whether or not it's bottoming out "technically" is up for debate amongst doctors. He said what matters is whether or not you're happy with them. He told me I'd be a great candidate for internal sutures. What they do is actually suture together the actual capsule around the implant at the bottom so that my crease can be lifted. It's very difficult to explain this as I am typing. He drew some pictures making it look pretty simple though.

He talked a lot about how your natural crease does a lot of this work for you and this is why he tends to use the peri-areola technique. He said that the incisions below the implant only creates extra weakness down where it really needs to be strong. But he said there is nothing wrong with inframammary incisions and he uses those as well. He said If I were his patient he would bring the implants back up to my original crease--- and I stopped him right there! My incision is made a few cm's BELOW my natural crease. So how would we work that out? He looked again at my pre-op photos and realized I was right. He said yea these incisions were made awfully low on your chest and I'm not sure why. He said that what he would have to do in my case would be to bring my crease right up to the incision and no further. We obviously don't want my incision below my crease where it will always be showing. I am hoping that would be a good middle ground and should be enough to make them look more pleasing to m eyes.

He honestly told me that I should ask my surgeon to do this. He said any board certified cosmetic surgeon should know how to do internal sutures and that I could potentially save a lot of money by having my own ps revise the implants for me. He makes a very good point. I had emailed my surgeon the other day showing him how the results fell and basically asked is there any other options out there and he asked me to come in again to discuss on Friday.

SO I need to really find out whether or not he would even perform this surgery for me, how much it would cost me, and when I should have it done. The ps today said that at about 3 months post op I am ok to do this type of revision whenever I'd like. My ps on the other hand just asked me to wait wait wait. My biggest concern is timing right now. I planned for my surgery last Novemeber so that I would look ok in a bikini by the summer. With spring upon us I feel like I should have the surgery by March to allow for 3 months healing before I'm out in public. I just REALLY don't like the fake look and so I wouldn't even wear a bathing suit in public if there were still riding high and swollen. Just my thoughts personally though. I'm very modest with my implants. So far no one has even noticed that I got them done since I don't really show them off much LOL. Anyways I feel like If I don't have them done soon I'd need to wait until after summer and that's a long way away. The other major factor is money. I'd need to pay another $8k to go with this second doctor. So I really need to see what my ps says and if I am confident in him. Anyways first things first and I need to see what my surgeon says on Friday. Not sure if I should tell him I saw another surgeon. I don't want to insult him or disrespect his work at all but at the same time I want him to know I am quite serious about getting a revision. Any thoughts?

Thanks ladies!

Good Moment I had to share

So I was at the mall today and trying to check out my swimsuit situation. My nipples are just real close to popping out of everything since they're so high. Anyways I had the greatest time. Happiest I've been in a while!! Those first two swimsuit tops are the reason I got a boob job. If you could only see the smile on my face. I've never know what its like to have cleavage so it really put me in such a good mood. I never felt more sexy! THIS is why I got a boob job :D The bandeau tops are called the flirt bandeau at VS for anyone interested. The deep blue swim top is ridic and I didn't buy that one haha. Not so modest. But I just wanted to show how a little push up goes a long way.

As far as my black bikini goes.. (Sons of anarchy swimsuit btw)... It is a size small which technically according to all the size charts I should still be even at a 32D. I just wanted to show what my my breasts would look like if my crease was about a 2cm higher or so. Lifting my crease gives me about and extra cm or 2 from the edge of my bikini to my nipple. Also in the bandeau tops, if I lift my implants up a bit and wear the bandeau up higher on my chest I get much more room between the edge and my nipple. Like with where they are now my nipple is sitting RIGHT on the top edge. I'll have to be insanely careful and not lift my arms at all on my upcoming vaca. Anyways it just confirms how much I want the revision before the summer. And also gave me such a happy moment realizing how great they look on me under clothes. Yay! Just wanted to share since I feel like my posts have been depressing lately LOL.

Met with my PS- Good News!!

So the first thing he did was ask me to show him exactly what I am looking for in the mirror. Finally a sigh of relief when he told me that I’m not wrong and that he sees exactly what I am talking about. Next we start talking about our options. Option 1 is going with an implant about 4x smaller in order to keep the same diameter. This is just the way the different styles come unfortunately. He didn’t want me to go a couple sizes smaller and not have the proper medial cleavage. Neither of us liked this option. Option 2 was his least favorite. Going with a gummy bear implant since they come in so many different variations in size, including wider than longer. He didn’t recommend this because they’re not very functional implants, can’t really be pushed up in a push up bra to create cleavage, and there’s always a chance something happens to make them rotate and then I can only imagine what they’d look like. Third option is to do the in-office procedure under local where he would “traumatize” the area under where the crease should be in order for it to swell tight to the skin and better support the implant. Again this is not 100% that it will even work but it’s our preferred/best option so far.

He pulled out his before and after photo book and showed me an example of a girl who had a similar pre-op look as me as well as a similar post op look. Her nipples were a bit high and she had a really fuller lower pole. He explained to me how happy she was with them and so we both agreed that much of this is all a matter of opinion. But again he reassured me that he sees what I am talking about and I’m not wrong for disliking the way they look.

When he talked about option 3 again I essentially played dumb and asked him, is that the same as the suturing technique that I read about online? He said no, not exactly. He explains how with the other two replacement options he would suture the bottom of the pocket to hold and support my crease. Bingo! So I ask him- Would I be able to do that with my same implants? And he thought about it for a few seconds and said well yes actually that would be a more effective and permanent option than simply traumatizing the skin underneath. And he said you know that will cost a good deal of money whereas the local in-office procedure would be completely free of charge. And there we have it. I finally figured out why he hadn’t offered it to me. It was simply because he didn’t know if I could even afford it (most of you may not know that I am currently unemployed- long story for another day). So once I told him that I was prepared to spend the extra $ in order to get the perfect and permanent results I want, it was a different ball game and him and I were both on the same page.

The last thing I brought up kind of out of left field was what if I went bigger rather than smaller? I honestly hate the idea of going any larger but it’s totally better than going smaller. I just know that I’d rather go 1-2x bigger than 4x smaller. Make sense? I just wanted to get ALL of my options out there before making a big decision like this. So he grabbed the stats for the HP style 20. So my implants are currently 304cc. There is a 300cc HP implant that’s 1cm less in diameter and .5 cm fuller in projection. So he started to think about it and he was thinking that because the implant was 1cm less in diameter that would give him more wiggle room to push the implant back up to where it ought to be.

We talked about the fees. His services would be completely free of charge. In fact he said that he would even pay half of the hospital fees and anesthesia fees for me as well. I wasn’t expecting that at all! He also said that if I chose to switch my implants to the HP he would have his assistant call to see if I could get one implant comped for free. He was really doing his best to make this as painless on my wallet as possible which I can’t even tell you how much I appreciated.

So overall I realized that he really was just trying to shy away from going back into the OR for my own best interest. Once he realized that this was something I was willing to do again and pay for, it was much easier discussing options. I definitely feel comfortable in his hands. He must have told me about 3 different times how he wants me to be happy with the results and that’s what’s important. Now I need to make a final decision on whether or not I should keep my original implants or switch to HP. It’s so hard for me to decide since I’m not sure if I fully understand the advantage to switching the implants. (And no he doesn’t make any $ off the implants) I’m thinking of giving him a call to go over it once more but I’m leaning towards keeping my same implants. Nothing to do with the money but just because I’m so comfortable with how they look on me, the size, the fullness, the shape, the medial coverage, etc. He also said I could book right away! So overall I am just so relieved. I have an important decision to make but I can rest easy knowing I am in good hands and that it won’t break the bank. Any of you ladies with HP please feel free to remind me so I can take a look through your pics to see if there are any major differences in the shape or how they look.

On the other side... Again (capsulorrhaphy)

So I have to apologize for not posting in quite some time. I meant to post right on the day of my pre-op for my revision to let everyone know I was good to go but my personal life has been ever so hectic!! I just accepted a new job and it happens to be an hour and a half drive away from where I live so that in itself is very stressful. It's an opportunity I just couldn't turn down though. It is a contract for 6 months with extensions so if it becomes too hard for me I can at least put in 6 months and add it to my resume. They will let me work from home each friday and after 4-6 weeks I can work from home a second day each week which should lessen the burden. Also, I just got back from a 9 day trip to Disney World with my boyfriend. It was my first time and it was a really great experience. But boy did we do a lot. I felt like I needed a vacation from my vacation and the next day after I got back was my revision.

So yesterday morning I had my revision and currently I am just resting and trying not to move my arms so much. The capsulorrhaphy that I had done shouldn't be as bad of a recovery. I feel the sharp pains and stinging on the incisions. I feel so much heaviness and pain and soreness when I stand up straight. But I can say that I'm not nearly half as bad as the first go around. My boyfriend noticed a difference already. He said that last time I slept so much more and was a lot less mobile. I can't stand upright just yet, I still have that really "hunched over" look. But I am hoping to bounce back pretty quickly. I have two weeks to recover before I start the new job and that should totally be enough. The girls are sitting up pretty high on my chest right now but the doctor assured me this was normal. He wants them to be higher than where he would ultimately like them to fall in the end since he knows gravity will do some work on them in the mean time. I have sticky bandages on right now for support and will go in to see him tomorrow for the removal of the bandages. At that point I will be going back to using the string and ace wrap techniques to keep the girls up and in place. I am so anxious to see the results. They're still quite swollen now so I can't really tel what is going on under there. Keeping my fingers crossed that this will be it and they will finally fall just right!

Day 2 post op pics

So I had my post op visit today with my ps and I had some mixed feelings but in the end I am feeling good about the results. I am a bit higher on the left side but its because it needs to fall a bit more. He said they will have a "square" look on the bottom for now u til my skin stretches. I think the right looks great! More along the lines of what I was looking for. The incision is so far tucked away I cant quite get a good look at it but it seems to be perfectly in my crease. I look a little lopsided for now but I know that time should help heal and drop and even them out. I posted a pic of my love bug of a kitty who has been attached to my hip since my surgery. I swear she knows mommy is sick and she hasn't left my side. It's the little things. Anyways I am really hoping this is it. I have high hopes and can't wait to be all healed up!!

On a side note for anyone going through this type of revision- the surgery is very different than the first go around and recovery hasn't been half as bad. I'm still really tight where my stitches are and can't stand quite straight. But I'm pretty damn mobile and not even really taking too many pain killers. No elephant on my chest feeling. Just pings and pains and achiness near the insicians. And I do have that heaviness when sitting up. I think its just the pressure being put on the insicians when you let gravity have at it.

My doctor has gauze over the incisions and my instructions are to wear an underwire if I can bear it. The idea is to keep the skin around my ribs/band as tight as possible. My actual implants doesnt need much for support considering we want it to stretch and fall so I just need something tight around my band to hold the crease up. Also I will use the string technique for added crease support. Thanks for all the support loves xoxo I'll keep you posted!

Long Awaited Update- 8 weeks Post Revision

Hi All!! I have been offline for quite some time now since my revision. I've been going through a very very hard time lately and I've been avoiding this blog only because it upset me more to think about it. The revision went very well at first. I was over the moon excited about how they looked in the first few weeks however they are already bottoming out again so I am finally seeing another doctor. They look MUCH improved as you will see from the photos but you can blatantly see them beginning to fall again. All I want is for my areolas to be positioned closer to the middle of my breast and not so high up. I'd like to have a bit less lower pole fullness. In my opinion, it makes them look very "fake" and I did not get them done for that look. They looked so great 2, 3, even 4 weeks after the revision when they were being held higher up on my chest. They were a bit uneven and lopsided looking but I figured that would even out since they drop and heal at different rates. They looked nice and perky rather than sad and droopy. So I either need another capsulorraphy done (with a surgeon with that type of experience) and most likely I will need the internal bra- acellular dermal matrix. Strattice is the most common. It is essentially pig skin that is very firm and stable that actually infuses into your skin and ends up becoming a part of your flesh with its own blood supply. It provides some stability to the tissue and flesh in your breasts under the folds. I won't know for sure if that it 100% necessary until I meet with prospective surgeons but at this point I'd rather be safe than sorry. I just don't want any further surgeries.

I haven't yet seen my own doctor just yet since he's on vacation for 2 weeks but I just know that at this point no matter what he says I will want to go with another doctor. I am not trying to say that I think this is his fault at all but I really don't know. It could either be surgeons lack of skill or knowledge of the technique or it could be that I have weak tissue or it could be a combination of both. I looked up 3 doctors in CT and NYC that I will be seeing for consultations in the upcoming weeks. Each have great reviews and photos but most importantly, they have experience with these types of revisions and experience using the internal bra and strattice. It sucks that I will have to pay full price for a surgery all over again plus around $3,000 just for the strattice itself. At this point I just want this to be over. I've sacrificed so much already. My job, money, my body, my lifestyle at the gym. I am currently 8 weeks post revision and am finally fully back at the gym now and it feels great. I am not doing any chest but after about 6 weeks I felt comfortable enough doing some light upper body workouts and by now I know my body so well that I just know what exercises to avoid that trigger chest flexion. I have no idea when I will end up having the surgery, I know it is too soon right now but perhaps I'd be able to in a month or so. I hate the idea of doing it over the summer when I am in new england and wait all year for the nice weather!! But at the same time fitting in swimsuit tops with my breasts with low crease, no folds, and high nipples makes it difficult. Always popping out and I never feel comfortable since I feel like any movement I make they will show. So mortifying. Anyways we shall see. So very sorry for being in hiding. I appreciate all of your support and I will be taking a look through all my comments and get back to you soon. Thanks for all the love I don't know how I would do it without you!!

2nd Opinions- Anyone have Gummy Bears?

So today I went into the city for 2 second opinions. I also have a third consult scheduled next week with another doctor with great reviews and knowledge in the field next week. I will be meeting with my current doctor later this week. So my first appointment the doctor immediately recommended Gummy Bear Implants. Now gummy bear implants are anatomical (tear drop shaped) and textured AND highly cohesive meaning thick gel. They are referred to as "form stable" implants meaning that the form doesn't move or change shape at all like a round implant would. This is my main hesitation with going with the gummy bear implant. I don't mind texture and I don't mind anatomical but the highly cohesiveness bothers me. From some of the reviews I've read online and from what my own current doctor has told me they feel much firmer than natural breasts and they can't really be "pushed up". One review I read said that it actually leaves her quite sore after a night out wearing a pushup bra. I agree that a textured implant may help my implants hold up better. In fact the gummy bear was an option that my surgeon mentioned when we were deciding on my revision. What I am wondering is why gummy bear? Couldn't I try a textured round implant? I plan to give this surgeon a call to ask him about this since I didn't have the chance to ask him during the appointment. The other thing that he mentioned was using an acellular dermal matrix. He uses Silk I believe. This creates a sling to support he bottom fold of the breast. He let me know that if I used the gummy bear implants then he would bring the Silk with him to the OR and determine once I am opened up whether I would need it or not. After my call with him I should know if I could do without the gummy bear or not and I'll keep you posted. I want to have lasting results but I also want to have functional implants. Does anyone else have gummy bears that could advise how they feel and pushup for cleavage? My second appointment today was almost a waste of time. She told me that I was in a pretty unfortunate situation and the good news was that it could be fixed. She made note that she may not have decided to lower my crease since it may not have been necessary with my smaller sized implants. She recommend that I speak to my surgeon again about other options. She said that she would do the same exact thing my surgeon had done for the revision but just use her own skills and techniques and aftercare practices. She said that she couldn't guarantee the results though. I realize no doctor can really guarantee results but she was clearly not confident that she could help me in my particular situation. So just another to cross off my list. Next week I meet with another surgeon and when I had called to make my consultation he actually got on the phone with me for a few mins. He also mentioned using an acellular dermal matrix. No mention of texture implants but he hasn't even seen me yet so I am very hopeful he may have a great solution for me. Today was a hard day for me. One doctor basically saying she couldn't help me and the other suggesting I use gummy bear implants which I think may look fantastic but I don't believe they feel or function great and don't know if I'd be too happy with them. Keeping my spirits as high as possible as I go through this journey. Thanks so much for all the love and support!!!

Follow up Appt for Revision

I had my second appointment with Dr. Kornstein yesterday and I have been feeling so anxious ever since. Mainly because of the amount of money I'm going to have to shell out for this revision.
At the first appointment he highly recommended that I switch to a “gummy bear” or highly cohesive implant. I was totally against this at first but since then I have warmed up to the idea. In my research I have found some doctors claiming that it is the implant of the future, that it's the main implant used in Europe, and that it actually feels MORE natural than silicone. From what I have read, they are very firm at first and it does take some time to soften up. Dr. Kornstein suggested it'd take about 6 months and that they continue to soften even further for up to 2 years. In his office yesterday I actually felt the gummy bears and they feel nothing at all like a gummy bear. They're actually soft and although they hold their shape, they do squish around for cleavage and what not. It just goes right back afterwards to retain its shape. The other selling point for these implants is that I may never need another revision. Gummy bears can potentially last a lifetime. Another reason was rippling. I don't have major rippling right now but I do have some. It's not enough to bother me though honestly. But as you grow older, the tissue thins out and I also haven't had children yet which will lead to further thinning. So I am just thinking in the long run it'd be great to not have to worry about rippling. Also the fact that they are textured will help my situation out by adhering to the tissues and staying put instead of falling.

So the appointment went by really fast. I guess I had expected to get into more detail like I had with my first surgery. But he doesn’t operate this way and so we made the pre-op appointment, 3 weeks prior to the surgery, to finalize those details. I have to make the decision between gummy bear and textured round implants for us to determine everything else. He took my measurements and re-confirmed with me what I was trying to solve. I explained to him it was the nipple position that bothered me and he understood and pushed them up to a more suitable position to show me what they might look like. He explained to me that he would be using Seri which is a surgical scaffold made from silk. There is strattice, alloderm and silk that are all used to reinforce or support tissues in a way. Each serve a different purpose. Silk is great for situations of bottoming out since it reinforces the tissue and thickens it without any stretch. Not many doctors are familiar with this or have experience with it which was another selling point for my doctor. That is the one piece of the revision that gives me hope that they will not bottom out again. Dr. Kornstein explained how he takes some of the Seri and cuts it into snowflake-like pieces to reinforce my incisions. Since my crease was lowered, the tissue naturally becomes weaker at the incision so this should give it some extra strength to hold up the implant and keep it up!

Unfortunately, the gummy bear implants and Seri both cost more. So my total came out to be $11,000. Even just typing that stresses me out. I mean my original surgery was only $8,000 so this is a hard pill to swallow. He is a bit pricier of a surgeon and then you add in $1k extra for gummy bears and $1k extra for the Seri and it adds up quick. The thing that really irked me is that on my first visit, his assistant mis-quoted me. She gave me a total of $9k with the gummy bears and without the Seri. However, when we met again yesterday she realized she had only quoted me for the price of round implants so it would actually be $10k plus if he needs to use the Seri, another thousand. I’ve been pretty angry about it as I felt a little deceived but I am trying my best to give the benefit of the doubt and call it an honest mistake. I can’t help but feel like I’m being a little ripped off but I really told myself that money shouldn’t be my determining factor. I need this done right, once and for all. I’ve been having lots of anxiety, over thinking everything and second guessing everything. My boyfriend thinks that no matter what surgeon I went with I would end up over thinking everything. One part of me thinks if I have even one small doubt I should bail and find another doctor. But another part of me thinks that I will always have some doubts with any surgeon after what happened to me. I really liked my first surgeon and he was a really nice guy and cared about me as a patient. So I just think I am having a hard time having faith and trust in anyone else. My boyfriend has been such a great support. He really wants what’s best for me and I don’t know how I’d do it without him. He really has confidence in this surgeon which puts me at more ease. I think I just need to let go and have some faith that it will all work out.

Upcoming Appointment

I have my pre-op appointment coming up next week and I haven't quite made my decision on which type of implant to use. There are so many different options my mind is just spinning and because of the fact that my doctor is using Seri to reinforce my crease, I am almost thinking I should just stick with my same implants.I already love the way they look and the shape and size. I just need them positioned higher on my chest wall. I'm going to list out my options and some of the pros and cons between round vs inspira vs shaped and textured vs smooth and truform1 (softest/regular silicone) vs truforms 2 & 3 which are cohesive "gummy bear" style silicone gels, 3 being the firmest.

Smooth Round truform 1: This is what I currently have and because it is smooth and not form-stable it settles downwards. I know that the Seri reinforcement will help secure them and hold them up but my question is will this last or will they eventually slide back down again? I plan to ask my PS this question next week.

Textured Round truform1: Similar to what I currently have but textured version. It will help adhere to the pocket better and help it from settling downwards but it will also show more rippling. Also they don't have a mod + option so I'd have to either go down in cc's to 290cc or go up to 330hp with less diameter so I'll gain volume but lose current side boob which I love. Major bummer!

Textured Inspira truforms 1 or 2: The inspiras seemed so appealing to me at first since they have a higher fill ratio and so they will show less rippling. They also have plenty of sizes to choose from that would suit my frame unlike the textured truform1's. Unfortunately since the inspiras are overfilled, I feel that it gives a less natural look with more roundness and fullness at the top of the breast. These come in both regular responsive and cohesive silicone gels. Overall I don't think this is the right "look" for me at all since I truly don't like that upper roundness.

Textured Shaped truforms 2&3: These are the gummy bears and may be the safest on the market currently. They also can potentially last a lifetime. They show the most minimal rippling. However truforms 2&3 are much firmer than what I am used to and I fear I wouldn't get a natural bounce or jiggle to my breasts. The shaped implants look beautiful and have the tapered look I like versus the super round look. However, since they are form stable there are also cons. When lying down the implants don't fall flat like a more natural breast would. Also when wearing a bandeau or tight tube top, the silicone doesn't disburse so they tend to look like two separated round mounds which to me looks more fake and unnatural.

Those are my main 3 options at this point. And please understand that just about all of those pros and cons I listed are a matter of my opinion. I know women that want roundness and upper pole fullness and also don't mind them being firmer. There are also many women that are quite public about their BA's which I am not. Only close family and friends know. My personal preference is for them to look as natural as possible. To me that means, soft, jiggly, lower pole fullness, not very round, and of course minimal rippling. The one factor that I haven't mentioned is the price. At this point I told myself that the price wouldn't be a factor. I really don't even have the money but I can finance and figure out a way to pay for it in the end. It just needs to be over and done with so I can feel myself again and be happy with my body. If anyone has any opinions on my pros and cons list or any experience or insight to share I would appreciate it. Thanks everyone for helping me through this!!

As of right now I am thinking to stick with my current implants. My ps did insist that no matter what I choose I should replace the implants because each time they go in and out of my body increases the risk of capsular contracture. I can't even imagine adding that to my list of issues so I will follow his advise. It seems silly to spend the money on the same exact implants again so I may ask to see if there is any way that Allergan can provide me with them for free. Technically if I contracted CC then they would just have to replace them for me anyways. My original ps had contacted Allergan and was able to secure me new implants for free so I am hoping this doctor might be able to work that same magic for me. Every little bit of savings counts! The Seri is another $1k as well so if I can save on implants that'd be so helpful!

Updated Pics 7 months post revision

Here are some photos since I havent posted any in quite some time. I think they look so great other than my areola position. I feel like it should be more on the fuller part of the breast rather than up so high.

I also included a photo of me flexing my chest muscles. I was so concerned about animation deformity prior to my surgery and now I see it really wasn't anything to concern about. The technique your ps uses should help minimize any extreme deformity. They just separate a bit when I flex my pecs but my boyfriend tells me with a sports bra on he'd never be able to tell.
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