39 Years Old and Finally Doing It! - New York, NY

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I've been stalking RealSelf for the last 3 months...

I've been stalking RealSelf for the last 3 months lol. I've gotten tons of "wish pics" by looking at some fantastic results and have learned a lot about what to expect, the recovery process, etc... Although I had no intention of actually posting anything about myself, I figured I should because everyone's stories on this site have helped me tremendously! So here goes...

I've wanted breast implants for over 20 years. I'll be 40 this year and finally decided to do it! I had my daughter when I was very young and it took it's toll on my little 34B's. They were small, but perky...after my daughter, they were just small and saggy! I've been self conscious about this for long enough!!
Went for 2 consultations and knew from the start that Dr. Kolker was the doctor for me. His credentials and before & after pictures speak for themselves. Jillian from his office is a doll and I feel very comfortable with them. He recommended a slight lift (mastopexy) with the implants, which shocked me a bit. I mean, I know they're saggy, but they're small so how far can they go??? Dr. Kolker is completely concerned with my lasting results - not just the immediate results I'll have right after surgery. His concern is that within 2 years I'll be back for a lift anyway, because the weight of the implant and gravity will pull them down. So...slight lift it is! I'm not thrilled about having scars around the entire areola, but I'm trying to make my peace with it. I figure this will be a small price to pay for finally having pretty, perky boobs!! It's also a really good feeling to have a doctor that has your best interests at heart :)
Surgery has been scheduled for October 29th...I'm extremely impatient, so this should be an interesting couple of months. Oh, and I have to quit smoking, or he won't even touch me - he's all about safety and necrosis is scary as hell!!

My only concern is that he and I will disagree on size. He admits he is on the conservative end of breast augmentation and if I want "Porn star, stripper boobs", he's not the doctor for me!! LOL!!
Although I assured him that I do not want huge, fake looking boobs (nothing wrong with that if that's what you're into, but I'm going for the natural look), for $14000, I want to look and feel like I had SOMETHING done! I'm aware that your height, weight, breast tissue, shoulder width, etc...all play a part in how your results will look and that 350cc's (just an example) will not necessarily look the same on 2 different women. From my months of reading RealSelf posts, 400cc's kind of got stuck in my head. Then Dr. Kolker said high 200's to low 300's and I had a heart attack!! I want to end up with a very full C to a small D....I guess we'll wait until I go for my pre-surgery appointment and try on sizers. For now I'll have to do my own rice test to get a feel for these sizes.

That's it for now. Wishing all you beautiful ladies happy healing and wonderful results!! xoxo


I totally forgot to mention my stats and what I'm going for...

I'm 5'4 and 120 lbs. I'm getting silicone implants under the muscle...currently a 34B and hoping to be a very full C, or a small D. I'm still currently trying to get up the nerve to post my "before" pics...I'll definitely do it at some point before my surgery I'm sure...lol
Got my surgery confirmation yesterday, along with instructions about what medications I can & cannot take, vitamin regimens to start, foods that I can and cannot eat all leading up to the day of surgery, etc.....This is all still a bit surreal to me. 20+ years is a very long time to want something so badly & not get it (or "them" in this case - ha!) so it hasn't really sunken in yet that I'm finally doing it!

Oh and my doctor mentioned that it's likely I will need to have drains for about a week after surgery. Does anyone have any experience with this? The thought of having drains is totally freaking me out!!
Hope all of you beautiful ladies have a great day!! :)

Rice sizers...

Good morning all you beautiful Realself ladies :)
I made my rice sizers this weekend! Only one set of 300cc's, because I know I don't want anything smaller than that! I'm concerned that the lift will make me a bit smaller than I already am, and I don't want to go too small and end up with boob greed :)
Once I go for my pre-surgery appointment, I'll get to actually try on sizers, but until then I at least got an idea with the sizers. Hoping that my PS will agree to go a bit higher than 300cc's and that I'll get my desired result!! It's a lot of money to spend and I don't want to end up having to wear padded bras to get the look I want after spending all of this $$$$!!
Attaching some pics of my first attempt at sizers :)
Have a wonderful day all!

So cranky!!

Well, this past weekend I turned 40 and also hit my 6 week mark to surgery - so this meant I had to quit smoking! Good lord, I'm a cranky bi**h now!! Although most PS's recommend you stop smoking for 2 weeks before surgery and 2 weeks after, my PS insists in 6 weeks as a safety precaution. I love that he's all about the safety, but omg this is hard :(

So now I'm the dreaded BIG 4-0 and as if that doesn't make me cranky enough, I haven't had a cig in 3 days....sigh....The positive in all of this is that my surgery is now only 36 days away!! When I originally scheduled my surgery, it was 11 weeks in advance - now I'm down to a little over 5 weeks - time is FLYING by!!!
I'm sure once it gets down to a week or 2, it'll feel like it's dragging...

Now to start making my appointments for pre-op testing, a mammogram, etc...so much left to do....all feels a bit overwhelming....

Hope all of you beautiful ladies are having a wonderful smoke-free day :)


Why are some posts and comments showing multiple times and other posts and comments don't show at all??

Mucho frustrating....

Omg, exactly one month away!!

I'm exactly one week away from surgery as of today! A month from now I'll have boobies :)
I've wanted this for so many years that I still can't believe I'm finally doing it! This process started for me back in May and it took 3 months just to get a consultation with my PS... Then another 3 months for a surgery date... I just can't believe how fast it went considering how impatient I am!! Lol
Tomorrow is my first pre-op appointment and I have another next week.... I'm just eager to get them all out of the way!
Yay for boobies in one month!!!

Officially a "Non-Smoker"!!

My company makes us do a mandatory health assessment every year (basically so they can charge us more for our insurance)....One of the specific blood tests they do is to test for nicotine in the blood - and of course, every year I get dinged for being a smoker...

Just got my results from my assessment - I have officially come up as a "Non-Smoker" and I scored a full 100 points this year!! This is a first for me & totally new!! I have to admit, this feels a lot better than I thought it would!! :)

And to think, I have my PS to thank for this - AND I'm getting boobs out of the deal ;)

Mammogram Done!!

I had my mammogram done this morning and was happy to find out that it was nowhere near as painful as I thought it would have been based on all of the horror stories I hear!!! Maybe the next one I have will suck, since I'll actually have boobs?!?!? I guess we'll see ;)

23 days - 23 days!! Can't believe it has gone so fast!!
Sizing appointment with my PS tomorrow morning - this is the part I'm all excited for!! Bring on the sizers!! :)

Hope all of you beautiful ladies are having a fantastic day :) xo

Sizing appointment done!!

Went for my sizing appointment this morning! Traffic was brutal!!! Took me almost 2 & 1/2 hours to get there and then over an hour to get to work... Insane!
Met with the nurse and went over all the do's and dont's prior to surgery. Red wine is a big no-no, but my white wine is OK...phew, what a relief!!! ;)
Tried on sizers and settled on 300cc which is what I wanted from the beginning. Jillian assured me that this is in the range of what they liked for me, so I'm relieved! Tried on 325cc but didn't see a huge difference, so decided to stay where I'm most comfortable with the 300cc.
Brought a T-shirt and tank top with me to get a feel for how they'll look since I went to my appointment in my work clothes. One more thing done!
Next is my pre-op on Thursday with the PCP... Getting so close now!!
Hope all of you beautiful ladies are doing well and having a great day! Xoxo

Some before pics

$!*%*@!!! Pre-Op Testing!!!

I am sooooo over all this nonsense with the pre-op testing!!!

In the last 3 weeks, I have had 5 doctor visits already and I'm still not done!!

1. GYN for routine visit & referral for mammogram
2. Radiology facility for mammo
3. PS for sizing
4. PCP for pre-op testing (and referral for chest x-ray)
5. Radiology facility for chest x-ray (This morning)
6. Follow up with GYN (scheduled for this week)

I'm all happy this morning thinking I'm finally done with the pre-op and as soon as I get to work, my PCP's office calls me - "Can you come back in - we need another vial of blood - it wasn't enough"

Kill me now...I don't go to this many doctor appointments in an entire year - I'm sick of this already!!

These friggin boobs better be worth all of this aggravation!!!


2 more weeks!!!

This is my giant padded VS bra that I wear to balance out my big booty!! I have this same bra in several colors and I wear them to work all the time...I figure it won't be as noticeable to my coworkers or my staff since they're used to seeing me like this. I have 2 friends that are fighting over getting these bras when I no longer need them lol

Can't wait till I no longer have to wear them to get the balanced look that I want! 2 more weeks baby!! :)

Looking like I'm going to have a late surgery time :(

So, my PS's office just notified me that he's in surgery at the hospital the morning of my BA and then he comes back to finish up the day with me, so I will most likely have an arrival time of 12pmish.

I'm so, so upset :(
I was really hoping to get this done early in the morning!
I live almost 2 hours from my PS (that's without traffic) and if this is correct, by time I have surgery, get out of recovery and back on the road to go home, it will be smack in the middle of rush hour traffic. That could potentially add a significant amount of time to my commute home from there and prolong the misery of my car ride :(
It also means that he could get held up at the hospital and who knows how long I could be waiting for him!

Not looking forward to this at all now - what a downer (

Surgery has officially been paid in FULL!!!

I am exactly 2 WEEKS away today and surgery has officially been paid in FULL!!
No turning back now!!

I'm still kind of shocked at how fast the time flew by - where the hell did the last 9 weeks go??

As of today, I am also officially supposed to stay away from certain meds, garlic, red wine, etc...No garlic in anything? That's going to be hard...I'm a white wine/Moscato girl, so the red wine isn't too much of a big deal. The one thing that really freaks me out is no Excedrin - that's the only thing that helps me when I have a pounding headache (which ironically I have now) and I can't take them....sigh....this is going to be a long 2 weeks in some ways!

I just want to be on the other side of the fence already and on my way to healing :)

Hope all of you beautiful ladies are having a wonderful day :) xo

Nightmares & Anxiety Attacks

Had my first boob related nightmare last night that they came out all wonky and it freaked me out :/

Woke up at 4am to go to the bathroom and could not go back to sleep for sh*t!! I just kept lying there panicking about why I'm doing this...

What if they come out too big?
What if they come out too small?
What if I hate the way they look and regret paying all of this money to do the surgery?
What if I regret ruining my little boobs that I hate anyway, but can dress up in the right bras?
What if I can no longer wear my cute tops because my boobs are too big?
What if I look top heavy and matronly??
What if my scars look horrendous from the lift?
What if I can never sleep on my side, or stomach again??


WTF? Rationally, I'm quite sure this is all normal, but I'm starting to freak out a little bit....

Officially One Month Smoke-Free and 9 days Away from Boobies :)

Hello beautiful ladies!!

I am smoke free for exactly one month today! It has gotten easier, although I still have moments where I really want a cig!! I have also gained around 5 pounds, which I am NOT happy about, so I'm trying to get rid of that!

9 Days away from ( . ) ( . )!!! Crazy how fast the time went!!
I picked up all of my meds yesterday after work, so I now have my antibiotic, painkillers, Valium, etc...
Already got my Arnica, Colace, Bromelain, etc...have to start this whole Vitamin/Homeopathic routine as of this coming Thursday...

I'm a bit freaked out that I can't take anything for pain other than Tylenol from now until 2 weeks after surgery. I had a pounding headache this past weekend and took Tylenol (which historically has done NOTHING for me) because I'm not allowed to take my Excedrin. My head was literally pounding for almost the entire day. How in the hell is Tylenol going to help me once I'm no longer taking the heavy pain meds, if it can't even get rid of a headache??? I am sooo upset over this!
I don't want to end up taking the heavy stuff for longer than I have to, but I might as well be taking nothing if my only option is Tylenol.

My doctor stresses safety and apparently there is a risk of bleeding problems associated with Asprin, Ibuprofren, or any meds containing them (which is everything that I take that actually helps me!!). I've had surgery before and was prescribed Motrin 800 to take for when I was done with the heavy stuff, so I'm confused...

Anyone have any tips? What were you ladies taking once you weaned off of the heavy drugs?

Exactly one week away!

I can't believe that in exactly one week, I will be having surgery :)
Wow this has been a long time coming - 20+ years, so it's still a bit surreal!!

Started my vitamin and homeopathic regimen today and so far, so good.
Off tomorrow, so I have a long weekend - Want to get everything in order....

Mani/pedi on Saturday and then plan on spending the majority of the weekend cooking & freezing meals. If we have to depend on my hubby to eat, we'll starve because he can't boil water lol

I'm kind of excited, but mostly nervous at this point - the nerves have definitely started to set in....

Yay for boobies!! :)


Not sorry to see these go!

Bras and stress balls!

A couple of friends of mine got me boobie stress balls... Lolol

Tomorrow is the BIG Day!!!

I cannot believe B-Day is tomorrow!!! LOL
It seriously went sooooo fast! I am such an impatient person and I scheduled surgery 11 weeks out. I was totally convinced that it was going to drag, but I literally feel like I blinked and here we are!

I'm excited and nervous. Not too much of either at the moment - still kind of unreal that I'm doing this after bitching about my boobs for 20+ years...lol

I have an all day meeting/training today from 10am - 4pm (kill me now)....the silver lining on that cloud is that my day will fly by, so I won't have too much time to think about it!

Hope all of you ladies have a wonderful day!! xo
Boobs tomorrow!!!!!!! :)

Bye-bye boobies!

I feel like there should be some grand gesture, a good bye party...something to say good bye to my faithful little boobs... Maybe if it wasn't raining, I could go in the backyard and have a burning of the bras ceremony...

Farewell my itty bitty boobies! You've been as good to me as you could, now it's time to go. Mama's upgrading! ;)

I'm oddly calm...didn't think I would be. About to go take the required muscle relaxers and get in the shower. Check in with all my lovely ladies tomorrow! Thank you all for the well wishes!! Xoxo

On my way!

Good morning all of you beautiful ladies :)

I'm on my way into the city for surgery! Nerves have definitely set in, but I have to take a Valium at 11am, so I'm sure that will help.

I'll update when I can... This is going to be a long day. I have to be there at 12pm, surgery should be somewhere between 1-1:30pm and they anticipate that I should be on my way home by 6pmish...Smack in the middle of rush hour traffic in NYC, so I'm lucky if I'm home by 8pm... All day with no food!! :( Wish me luck!
Hope everyone has a wonderful day! Xoxo

On the other side - quick update

I'm officially on the other side and am now residing in Boobland...Lol!
Unfortunately, Boobland is also Painland....ouch!!
Holy swelling!!!
All went well today, I'm still loopy from pain meds do I will post an actual update tomorrow - just wanted to post a quick update to let you all know I survived and thank you ALL for the well wishes and for checking in on me today! It meant so, so much to me! :)
Love to you all and hope you are all doing well :)

Day of surgery & first day post op

Hello ladies :)
I've been trying to find the energy to update...still a little loopy from pain meds, so I'll type slow to fix typos...

So at promptly 12pm, I was taken in the back to speak more with my nurse, meet with the anesthesiologist who was very thorough and explained every single thing he was going to give me. They had me change and then my PS came in with a big smile on his face, kissed me hello and asked me if I was ready & exited! He definitely gave me a warm feeling and I once again realized I was in the right hands :) I panicked a bit a couple of weeks ago that 300cc would be too big for my frame and I don't want to end up sagging because I chose too large of an implant. I told him that I had 100% faith in him and that I was leaving the final choice up to him.

He proceeded to mark me up and then he went to change out of his suit into his scrubs & I was taken to the OR. The nurses and anesthesiologist were chatting to me about my tattoos and the color of my nail polish (I guess to distract me) because the next thing I knew, I woke up in recovery!

They brought my hubby back to me and he helped me drink a glass of water. I asked him if I had boobs and he started laughing and assured me that I did. My PS came in to tell me everything went perfectly, explained that I did have drains but that they're not a huge deal, just for the best. I was in surgery for 3 hours. He tried multiple different sizes and he decided on Natrelle Inspira 295cc, smooth round, moderate profile. I'm thrilled with his choice :) He said that he tried a 300+cc but he could barely fit them - I'm totally ok with that!
He was all smiles, gave me a hug & kiss goodbye and told me he'd see me next week. I was impatient to leave, so around 5:30, my nurse helped me up and to get dressed and walked me to the bathroom about 10 feet away. I almost passed out on the way, so she rushed me back to bed and forced me to lay back down for another 20 minutes until I felt better.

The ride home wasn't as bad as I feared,...got home around 8pm - long day! Hubby made me some soup because I was starving, took my antibiotic and pain meds and went to bed. Set my alarm every 4 hours to wake up and take my pain pills. Every time I woke up, the boobs were more and more swollen!

That brings us to today...it's been rough...I'm so swollen they feel like they're about to split right open. The pain is bad, despite taking Percocet almost every 4 hours - from my ribs to my armpits it feels like I've been hit with a sledge hammer. The bruising is getting worse as the day goes on and I'm sleeping sitting straight up, so I'm not sleeping well. When I do sleep, I wake up and the pain is horrendous (I guess this is the dreaded morning boob?) I've been up and about so that I'm not just vegging in bed, but don't have much energy at the moment.
My hubby has been faithfully checking and emptying my drains and recording the output on the log. He's extremely squeamish, so I'm shocked, but he's being a champ :)

I have no feeling in either of my nipples at the moment. This is totally freaking me out and I'm praying that it's only temporary :(

I'll post pics below, because they're on my phone and I'm currently updating from my kindle. You can see the drains, so if you're squeamish don't look at them lol.

Thank you all for checking up on me and I'm sorry I haven't gotten to respond to all of you. I'm still in a bit of a fog and in a lot of pain, but reading your comments has cheered me up :)
Love to all of you and I hope all my girls are doing well! :) xoxo

Post op pics

Stabbing, Burning, Ripping Pain

Ughh...I feel like a big baby for my update to consist of me whining about pain, but holy sh*t...
I woke up in the middle of the night with this stabbing, burning pain on the right side of my right breast. I was convinced it was the surgical bra sticking to the drain incision site, so my hubby helped me put some gauze over it.

Nope. That's done nothing. This pain which can be described as a stabbing, burning, ripping pain had been here all day. Percocet isn't taking it away, neither is Vicodin. I'm right handed - I have no idea if that has anything to do with this, or not. I also appear to be draining quite a bit more from the right breast than from the left.

I had a breakdown before - all boo-hooing and blubbering about how this wasn't worth it and why in the hell did I willingly do this to myself, blah, blah, blah...I know, I need to suck it up.

It's only day 2, so I'm sure realistically this is normal, but oh my God the swelling - they're so friggin tight!!! Then that burning pain on the right - wtf is that about?? Occasionally I'm getting that same burning pain across the bottom of both breasts as well. I have horrendous pain in my lower back and my upper back/neck from sleeping upright....I'm a hot mess right now....

Sorry for having my pathetic pity party here, I seriously needed to vent. I'm going to pop more Percocet...hope you girls are currently doing better than I am :(

Crippling pain

Yup, unfortunately there's no other way to describe it at this point....crippling...
That stabbing/burning/ripping pain from yesterday has gotten worse. Today I literally cannot move my right arm without feeling pain in my right breast. God forbid I move my arm quickly, or too far up (which at this point means waist high) I feel like someone is stabbing me and holding a lit flame to my skin simultaneously. I have broken out into tears multiple times today due to this pain, which prompted my husband to call my PS.
His service must have paged him immediately, because he called back within 30 seconds. Unfortunately, all of this is pretty normal and standard for these devil drains. He questioned my husband about the drainage and says it all sounds normal. Advised me to continue taking the Percocet, and gave him his personal cell phone number and said to call anytime.
A minute after the hubby hangs up with my PS, the nurse calls and they go through it all again. She says she'll follow up again with me tomorrow. Despite the pain that makes me want to jump off the nearest bridge, I feel well taken care of by my PS and his staff at least....

Having said that, after all of this I've come to the conclusion that it's not the drain incision site. It's actually quite a bit higher up than that. The drain is down by the crease. The pain is just under where my armpit is. It's so bad that I cannot even lift my arm to feel the area. If I do manage to touch the area, the pain literally makes me scream. SCREAM and/or burst into tears....normal??
Something is very wrong here...I don't know how high up these drains go inside, I don't know if something is pressing on a nerve...all I know is that I've learned quite a bit of what to expect from all of you beautiful ladies and never did I read about this.
This particular pain would have made me rethink having this procedure done at all...it's that bad. I'll be speaking to the nurse/PS again tomorrow to explain what I'm feeling now that I have a better understanding of the fact that it doesn't really appear to be the drain. My hubby goes back to work tomorrow which has me in a blind panic. I expected to be in much better shape by Monday, but now I seem to be worse. I don't know what the hell is going to happen if the PS wants me to come back in, because without the hubby to bring me there it's impossible.
On a positive note, I took a shower today. It was awkward because I have no use of my right arm and I couldn't wash my hair, but at least I'm clean now.

This update took me a ridiculous amount of time to write because of the pain. This is also the reason I haven't been responding to all of your comments.
Your comments are all that's making me feel better at this point. I read them and cry and show my husband that I have beautiful friends who care. I'm crying now...Jesus I'm a fu**ing mess...Thank you all for your advice and your comments and your well wishes. They mean so much more to me than I could adequately convey to you.
Love to you all, hope everyone is doing well xoxo

Cannot say enough good things about my PS :)

Hello ladies :)

So, I've had a rough few days as you all know by now. My PS called me earlier to check in on me again and he helped to calm me down. I spoke to both Dr.Kolker and Jillian and they definitely think the drains are most likely causing the pain and discomfort in my right breast. He said everything I've described is perfectly normal, and it's probably likely that the drain tube inside is pressing on a nerve.
He offered to get me in to see him tonight, tomorrow, or any time that I can get there and he seriously put me at ease.

I've emailed Jillian a copy of the drain log as well as a current pic of my progress. I don't want to trek into Manhattan if the drains aren't ready to come out and I'll just have to go back on Wednesday anyway. Waiting to hear back about what she thinks and we'll decide from there.
I just can't say enough good things about Dr.Kolker' s caring, bedside manner and Jillian is in a class of her own, which I've said from the beginning. I haven't been dealing with my nurse Stephanie for as long as Jillian, but she is fantastic too and I feel so very well cared for :) There are obvious reasons that you want to have a phenomenal plastic surgeon, but bedside manner is important too and I hit the jackpot with mine :)

Hubby had to go back to work today, but woke me up so he could empty my drains before he left, made me lunch, opened all my pill bottles so I wouldn't struggle, set up my Keurig machine for me and left my sugar, cup etc..out so I wouldn't have to reach for anything, left the phone by my bed, etc...I can't even list everything he did to make my day easier. He's calling here all day to check on me....he's a good egg :)

So although I'm still in pain, I'm feeling calmer today about it. The right breast is still more swollen than the left, but you can't really notice it in the pics, so maybe that's a good sign? I'll post some more updated pics below. I'm not seeing much change at this point, but I think that's pretty normal at this stage of the game.
Hope all of you ladies are having a great day :) xo

Updated pics 4 days post op

Drains Finally out!!!! and 34DD WHAT?!?!?!

What a night!
First post op visit with my PS...devil drains have been removed!!!!! The relief was almost instant...after I got over the shock of how God damn painful they were coming out!!
He totally distracted me and yanked them both out at the same time!
Ladies, I love that man, but so help me had I not been white knuckling the chair I was laying in, I probably would have involuntarily swung at the poor man....Lol

The difference in pain and in mobility is mind boggling!! Of course I still have pain, but nowhere near that crippling, all consuming pain I had since day 2...and I'm moving so much better already!
Ok enough about the drains....So my PS says everything looks fantastic and they're really good!! I said "They're great right? And I'm not just saying that because they're mine now!!" Lololol
He then pushed them together and I wanted to scream again - ouch! Second post-op is next week and I think that's when he teaches me massages.
I've graduated from the ugly non-supportive surgical bra and he now wants me in the VS Knockout, so me and the hubby hit VS on the way home.

34 DD??? Ummm...took a couple of 34D' s into the fitting room too just to be sure, but nope - 34DD....I've never been a double anything in my life, and although I know they're still swollen and need to settle, so I'll lose some size, I'm still totally tickled pink about my DD!! :)
The kicker is that the bra is currently hurting me, because it's kind of squeezing them together a bit (not excessively - just the norm). I guess because I'm still so sore and for a week they've just been hanging out in a surgical bra with no support, this Knockout is kicking my ass right now, so off to take a pain pill and go to sleep.
Posting some pics of my new bra below. Bought it in purple too :)
Night ladies and pleasant dreams!! :) xo

34DD VS Knockout Bra

Need some advice

Good morning my girls :)

I need some advice from my girls that have been doing the sports bra thing longer than I have (I literally first put one on last night around 8:30pm).

I woke up around 1am-ish and could not go back to sleep because I was in so much discomfort. Some was just plain uncomfortablness (is that a word?) And some was actual pain. I was getting what can only be described as a "Charlie horse" in the upper part of my right breast (I've come to the conclusion that my right is definitely going to be my problem child).
Ironically, I would press down on the part that felt like the Charlie horse and the pain would go away. Let go and within a minute pain was back. I couldn't get comfortable in any position, everything felt very sore and swollen...etc...

At around 3am, I finally caved and took the Knockout off and put my surgical bra back on. Immediate relief as to what I was feeling and I was able to get comfortable and fall back asleep.

Is this because I'm not used to having them"supported" more in a sports bra? The inside bra has underwire...Not sure if that played a role. Although they aren't being pushed together in any crazy way, this bra obviously holds them closer together than the surgical bra, so I'm also wondering if that's why I was hurting?

I'm going to send an email to my PS to ask him about all of this. He did say that he wants me in the Knockout all day, but that I could sleep in any sports bra that I want. VS did have the " Incredible" sports bra which had some underwire, but not a double bra like the Knockout, so it was a bit more comfortable. Maybe I'll exchange the second Knockout that I bought for an Incredible to sleep in?

Thanks ladies for any input you may have on this subject! Xo

Knockout bra update

Spoke to my PS and he assured me that everything I'm feeling is perfectly normal. He confirmed that no one is totally comfortable in the bra within the first couple of weeks because we're still swollen and of course, there's still major healing going on!
He assured me that I can wear it for awhile and if I'm in pain, or discomfort I can absolutely take it off! He also said to go back to VS and give the 36D a shot to see if it's more comfortable. He reiterated that I can buy any type of sports bra that I'd like to wear in between and also at night when I'm sleeping. He said any inexpensive comfortable sports bra is fine. He also said I can leave the girls "free" for a little while during the day, but not too long - maybe an hour or two, let them breathe and get them supported again!
He explained the multiple reasons he likes the VS Knockout, among them that it's 2 bras in 1 so provides exceptional support and also that the underwire cups help form and define the crease while healing.
I'm totally good with all of this. I actually don't think the bra is uncomfortable until after I've had it on for a number of hours...he assured me it's completely normal - take it off and throw on something more comfortable!
So that's the update ladies, hope it helps some of you! I'll be going to VS this weekend to try the 36D and see if that feels more comfortable.
Have a great weekend ladies!! Xoxo

It's the Little Things ;)

I was able to shave under my arms today in the shower! Not my closest shave, because I still can't raise my arms straight over my head, but the hair's gone, so I'll take it :). I was getting really grossed out by the very European look I had going on...lol
It's also really nice to see my profile in a towel these days ;)

Went out yesterday with my daughter and husband for dinner and then we ran to Walmart so I could buy some inexpensive sports bras. I couldn't find even one zip up and I wasn't impressed with their selection at all, but I did find a few that weren't bad!
Hope all of you ladies are having a wonderful weekend :)

Gel Memory Foam Mattress Topper Has Arrived...I May Never Get Out Of Bed Again!!

I ordered a 4inch gel memory foam mattress topper from Amazon that arrived today - brand is Sleep Innovations.

Hubby came home from work and opened it up & set up for me. I've been having serious pain in my tail bone and my backside, not to mention my back in general since the BA. I'm not a back sleeper by nature and although I've been somewhat comfortable with my backrest pillow with another pillow wedged into it, being on my back and ass for so long now has taken its toll :(

Omg ladies, I may never get out of bed again!! Soooo comfy!! :) I read about this on this site and I can't for the life of me remember which user mentioned it...I'd totally love to give her credit for it! If you happen to read this, thank you!!

The only issue is that it obviously made my bed even higher and now my little female Yorkie can't get up here at all (she had trouble even before I put this on, although my male seems to be fine getting up here), so now I feel bad for her :( I'll just have to pick her up to get her up here I guess!

2nd Post-op visit, Displacement exercises & scars

Hello lovely ladies!!

I was going to post an update this morning, but work has been so hectic today!!
So I had my second post-op visit yesterday evening. Getting into the city was freaking brutal, but we won't even bother to relive that...

Everything is going well & healing as they should be :)
Dr. K took off my steri-strips and I got my very first look at my scars! I was kind of afraid to look to be honest - I've seen some really bloody/stitched/pleated looking benelli scars and although I know they just need time to heal, I was afraid to look at that on myself. He made me get up and look in the mirror and they weren't bad at all!! I couldn't believe it - This was one of my major concerns!! They are totally clean and neat and I'd be exaggerating if I called one little spot "pleating", because that's really an overstatement. So happy about that!! They're not even as dark as I thought they'd be - I'm totally chalking ALL of this up to Dr. Kolker's skill - he's amazing :) The best part was that he said my stitches were all dissolvable, so he didn't have to pull stitches out (none are visible at all) so that was a HUGE relief!!
So then he started demonstrating the displacement exercises (massages) and holy shit!! The righty (my problem child) when we do the "Up" exercise, I REALLY feel the implant moving up on that side & it's so weird it made me a little nauseous lol
I had my eyes squeezed shut while he's manhandling them and pushing them around and he yelled at me to open my eyes and watch what he was doing so I would learn...lol

I spoke to him about all of my concerns about current swelling - he says I'm probably somewhere between 5-10% swollen still, so not much.

Spoke to him about the fact that when I bend over, righty feels like it's going to rip right off - he laughed at me and assured me nothing is detachable lol

Spoke to him about this really weird feeling I got in my right breast when I pushed up on it - he laughed at me again - turns out I was doing a "displacement exercise" without knowing it!! LOL
He and Jillian joked around a lot and made me feel really comfortable and well cared for - as usual :)
My next post op isn't until 12/22.
So, with all of this, I did NOT have a good night. I was in quite a bit of discomfort and very, very sore. I figure being sore isn't so odd since we were pushing them all around (and I did it again when I got home). What's weird is the pain/discomfort I'm feeling in my nipples ever since he took the steri-strips off?!? My nipples have been totally numb since the surgery, so I'm hopeful that this means some feeling is coming back (fingers crossed)....Do the steri-strips really prevent pain and now I'm feeling it because they have been removed?
Even my comfy sports bra was irritating me last night...so between the weird nipple pain and being so sore from all of the massages, I didn't sleep much :(

Did me exercises twice already today - have to do them 4 times a day, 4 repetitions each, 3 exercise...that's a lot of boob pushing...lol

Ok, have to run onto yet ANOTHER conference call...today needs to end already...sigh...I'll post pics of my scars as soon as I take some - haven't had a chance yet.

Hope all of you are doing wonderful today!! xo

Harper2020, this is for you love!

Exercise pics...I hope these pics of the sheet are visible


Here are a couple of pics of my scars. I'm hopeful that they'll fade as time goes on and be much less visible, but I think they look good for so early on! I also finally took a couple of braless tank top pics! Yay for cleavage without a giant push up bra!! :)

First Day Back to the Office Today

Hello ladies :)
Well, today was my first day back to the office - last week I worked from home.

I am ready for this day to come to an end. I'm exhausted and I want to get the VS Knockout off and burn it!! I feel like I have broken glass in this damn bra at this point (it's been on since 7am).
My "Ha-Ha" moment for the day was going into the bathroom at work, taking off my shirt and doing my displacement exercises....lol...I'll have to do this again at 5pm before I leave to sit in 2 hours of traffic getting home.

I drove myself to my haircut appointment on Saturday - the salon is local, about 20 minutes from my house. Driving didn't go as well as I'd hoped. Going in reverse was very difficult, because I don't have full range of motion yet, and making full left & right turns had to be done in little movements - one hand over the other like 25 times. I felt like an 80 year old...lol

At this point, I don't feel comfortable, or confident driving into the office by myself. My commute takes anywhere from 1 1/2 - 2 hours due to traffic and I take 3 highways and 2 bridges to get to work - not something I feel confident doing with restricted motions and while my reflexes aren't exactly where they should be. I guess this means that on the days that my husband can't drive me, I'm going to have to work from home.

Sigh...have I mentioned that I'm over this already? Just wanted pretty boobs, not all this other crap...lol

Hope you ladies are having a wonderful day! 1 hour & 10 minutes left till I can get out of here (and sit in traffic...ughhh....lol) :) xo

3 Week Boobiversary!

Good morning beautiful ladies!

Today is my 3 week Boobiversary with my new girls :-)
So far, so good... Doing OK. This week was my first week back in the office and it's been a little rough. By the end of the day I'm shot, but hanging in there!
Still sore, but worse in the evenings. Still sleeping propped up as well. My PS says I'm ok to sleep on my side, but I'm not comfortable doing so yet. They have dropped quite a bit, but I still have some softening up to do. Also, if that ugly yellow bruise would go away, that'd be great!!

I'm posting a current pic of my girls & my scars... I can't wait for them to lighten up! Also pics of my new VS LACE bras! Yes I know, I shouldn't have bought any bras yet, but they were having a sale and I couldn't resist. Also bought a couple of their really cute bralettes! I'll keep the tags on and the receipt in case my boobs shrink in the next month and I have to exchange. Currently still sizing as a 34DD and couldn't be happier :-)

Can I just say I totally had a moment trying these bras on in VS? I mean, I've never bought a bra in my entire life that didn't have 3 miles of padding in the cups... That was pretty much my only requirement in the past. These bras are completely unpadded lace - LACE!! This may sound stupid, but I'm ok sounding stupid here among my "breast" friends (lol) I had tears in my eyes trying these lace bras on in VS... Actual tears. Stupid? Probably to most people, but oh what a moment to see how I looked in an unpadded bra!!

Faithfully doing my displacement exercises... Even at work - ha! That's been interesting... Lol... Still having trouble opening doors and things of that nature, but getting better day by day.

Hope all of you beautiful girls are doing well and are healing well!! Xoxo

Old Bikini Tops

So I compiled my very first "before & after" photos and I have to admit, it was bittersweet.
I don't know what in the hell I was thinking, but before I had my surgery, I was honestly positive that I was still going to be able to wear all of my bikini tops. The photos attached prove otherwise... They barely covered my nipples...lol
I'm thrilled that I actually have boobs now.... Boobs that will look great in a bikini top! I'm also sad that I now have exactly 0 bikini tops that fit and have to start all over. I have well over 25 bikini tops that no longer fit & I guess I'll be giving them away... Several still have tags on them, and that makes me sad :(

Is it rational and does it make sense for me to be depressed about having to give away my entire collection of bikinis? Probably not. I'm sure I should be looking at the big picture and remembering WHY it is that I have to give them away, but at the moment, I'm still really upset about this.
Ok, pity party over.

5 Week Update

Good morning all my beautiful girls!
It's been a couple of weeks since I've updated... Things have been really hectic with work and the holiday's, etc...

So today I make my 5 week Boobiversary and things are going well! My girls and I are finally starting to get along and I'm thankful for that!
I still have trouble opening heavy doors and carrying anything too heavy. I'm still sleeping propped up on my backrest pillow because I'm still not comfortable sleeping on my side, but I'm ok with that because sleeping slightly propped up like this isn't uncomfortable to me.
I do my displacement exercises faithfully everyday and my boobs have gotten very squishy, so I definitely think they're working ;) I can squish them completely together comfortably and have been able to do so since about week 3.
I do have a slight flex deformity if I flex my pecs hard, but it doesn't really phase me. It's a bit more noticeable in the left breast than the right, but only noticeable if I'm nude. I flexed in my cooby bra and you couldn't see it at all.
What else? Oh, there's hardly any pain anymore, but I do still get a bit sore by the night time. I'm happy to say that me and my VS Knockout are also getting along much better these days :-)
Nipples are still numb, but also kind of sensitive if that makes any sense. If I touch the nipple hard directly it's yucky sensitive, but still mostly numb... I am hoping with all my heart that I'll get that feeling back :( I also still have that damn stubborn bruise on my left breast!! It's gotten smaller, but it's hanging on for dear life... Ridiculous... Lol

I think that's pretty much it.. I emailed my PS late yesterday to find out if he'll let me start some type of scar treatment yet, so fingers crossed... I'm eager to get on that!
I'm posting a bunch of recent pics. Two show squishiness, and also a couple from this morning in my work clothes so you can see projection when I'm dressed. No one at work has noticed thanks to me faithfully wearing giant padded bras to work for months before surgery lol. I'm very happy with my size.... Haven't once wished that I went smaller and no boob greed either!

I hope you are all doing well and I'll try to get on again very soon so I can catch up with all my girls! Xoxo

Scar Treatments?

Hello my lovely ladies :-)

I need some advice about scar therapy/treatments...
My PS cleared me to start scar treatment, but my contact at his office did say that they aren't huge advocates of scar therapies because they just don't feel that they do much...Neither do I if I'm being honest, however the scars bother me so I'm optimistically hoping to find something that works.
She told me I can use anything Mederma that I like and to get the circle silicone pads from biodermis.com.

Ok, so I ordered the Mederma PM Intensive Overnight Scar Cream and just started it last night, so obviously way too soon to tell if it will help.

I really need help with the circle silicone pads...
How the hell do these things work, because they're kind of expensive...
5 pairs for $140...
How long does each pair last?
Do they have to be removed in the shower and then reapplied?
Are the clear better, or are the natural better - or is that just a matter of preference?

If anyone has any experience with these, I would very much appreciate any feedback :-)

Also, I see Serenity123 is using ScarGuard with great results so far - reading mixed reviews on Amazon, although I would imagine they all have mixed reviews since there are skeptics (myself included lol)

I kind of want to buy all of them and use them simultaneously hahahaha - but I know this isn't realistic, not to mention that the damn things are all pretty expensive! I absolutely do not mind paying top dollar for something that works - but what works?

Help ladies!!
Thank you in advance for any and all feedback!! :-) xoxo

8 Weeks Post-op, 3rd Follow up Visit, Scar Therapy & Thoughts

Hello my lovelies!! I hope everyone is doing well and getting ready for the holidays :-)
I typed up this entire update last night on my cell phone and it somehow deleted before I could post it...I was so pissed off I didn't bother trying again till now lol

So, I make 8 weeks post-op tomorrow and I'm feeling great! No more real pain to speak of, just zingers...I do still have a bit of trouble opening very heavy doors, but that's about it.

I had my 3rd follow up visit with my PS last night and he was thrilled with my results so far! He immediately commented that he could see I have been faithfully doing my displacement exercises by the look of them and praised me for being consistent because they are so squishy! It definitely made me feel good to see him so happy with his work lol
I admitted that I'm only doing the exercises twice a day now, because it's too much of a hassle to do them at work. He said that's perfectly fine and wants me to continue doing them till the 3 month mark.
I've been cleared to wear regular bras - yay!! I had bought a couple of lined, unpadded t-shirt bras from VS, because I'm still not comfortable wearing the lace bras out...not enough support, although I'm dying to!! Lol...today was my first time wearing a regular bra to work in 2 months! It's the little things ladies ;)
He said I can go braless at night, but I'm still not comfy with them hanging loose, so I'll continue sleeping in a comfortable sports bra.
I have regained feeling in my left nipple, although it's not 100% back to normal yet. Sometimes I think I feel something in the right one, but not yet. My PS is confident that feeling will return in that one too :)
My next post op isn't until May now...
I'm faithfully wearing my silicone scar pads and pretty much only take them off to shower. I'm hopeful that this will speed up the fading of the scars!!

I've gained a bit of weight since quitting smoking 3 months ago, so I've been really bummed about that and want to get it off! It hasn't been easy, which is very discouraging...My PS says I should wait till after the holidays, because who diets right around the holidays?? He's probably right lol

Not much more to report...I'm thrilled with my results so far and wish I had done this sooner! I'm 100% happy with my size and have never wished I went either smaller, or bigger. I can honestly say that I had no concept of size going into this. I kept saying I wanted a full C/small D...I'm consistently sizing at a 34DD and wouldn't want to be any smaller!
Having said that, I don't think I look like a DD at all...I think I look more like what I envisioned a D looking like. Whenever I go to VS, I take a couple of 34D' s in with me to see if they fit, but nope! Total side boob spillage and frontal spillage in the cleavage area that does not look cute lol....
I have become oddly possessive of my DD tag size...ridiculous I know lol

That's pretty much it.....I'll post new pics below since I'm currently posting on my Kindle. I hope all of my girls are doing well and healing nicely! :-)
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year - much love to all of you!! Xoxo


12 Weeks Post Op

Hello my girls and Happy New Year!! Yes it's a little late for that, but I haven't posted in over a month lol..
I hope everyone enjoyed their holidays and hope you are all doing well :)

I haven't updated in a long while, because there's been a lot of personal/work stuff going on. Also, there's not much to report, which is a good thing :-)
I'm feeling really good, no complaints! Still get the occasional zinger and sharp pain, but they pass quickly. I really don't feel like I have any restrictions anymore regarding lifting anything or opening heavy doors, etc...so, no issues to report.

I've gotten most of my nipple sensation back in the left nipple, feels pretty much normal now. Righty is coming back slowly but surely thank God! Permanently losing nipple sensitivity was one of my major concerns, so I'm very happy to report that things seem to be coming back to life lol...for any of you girls that are still early out, there's hope! :-)
Still wearing the silicone scar pads faithfully, but not sure if I see much improvement yet. Having said that, I've seen much worse, so I think my scars are coming along ok...

Bought a bunch of new bras at VS. Regular every day bras, but some with really cute backs :) It bothers me that I went from having around 50 bras to like 5, so I buy more every time I get a chance. Still haven't been sized anywhere else yet, but definitely want to be sized at Nordstrom, just haven't been by one. I consistently fit into a 34DD at VS, but I personally just don't see it, so it will be interesting (and probably a little sad) to see what I'm measured at somewhere else.

Is anyone else having difficulty finding bikini tops now? Omg...not a good experience so far! I ordered $500 worth on VS's website and returned $400 of it, so that should give you some indication of how it went. I love bandeaus because I hate tan lines, but they don't seem to be my friends anymore. I ordered everything in medium and large not knowing what size I'd need, figuring I'd return what didn't fit. Truth is bandeaus fit weird now, so they all ended up going back. The center just sticks right off my body, so if I look down I can literally see straight to my feet...is this how they fit with boobs?? I kept 2 of them for when I'm in my own backyard by my pool, but wouldn't wear them to the beach. Kept one halter top with skinny straps for the beach and the hunt is on to find more. If anyone has any suggestions on where to buy cute bikini tops post boobs, it would be much appreciated :)

I think that's pretty much it, although I'm sure I'm forgetting something...
The hubby is outside trying to shovel us out from under more than 2 feet of snow and I can't even help him because I've been sick as a dog :/
Hope all off you that were hit hard are staying safe and warm!
For some reason, several pics are posting sideways and I don't know why, because they're normal on my phone, so my apologies.
Happy healing my beautiful friends, hugs and kisses to you all!! Xoxo

Quick Update - Got sized today

Hello my beauties :-)
Just a quick update...
Decided to go to Nordstrom today to get officially sized. Honestly, I felt sick for the entire length of the drive there. I've worn a 34B my entire life and have consistently sized as a 34DD since surgery.
I have become ridiculously possessive of my DD stats (in my head) yes, I know this is crazy, but it's true. Although I absolutely don't see it personally (I don't think I look anything like what I envisioned a DD to look like), my mind is at ease "thinking" I'm a DD after going through surgery.

The reason I felt sick on the way there is because I was convinced that I'd be told I was a D at best and I knew this was going to depress the hell out of me (despite the fact that my goal was a full C - small D). I've only been sized at VS since surgery and well, we all know how dependable they are...lol

I was assisted by a lovely older woman who escorted me into a fitting room and made me remove my top (already way better than VS, where they measured me on the sales floor over my sweatshirt)...She asks me what band size I'm currently wearing...I advise her I've worn a 34 band my whole life...she advises me that it's wrong and I'm a 32 band! Somehow this isn't shocking to me, because I always, always wear my bras on the last possible clasp because they feel too loose and the center part of the band between my breasts never sits flush on my body, it always sticks off which I know is a sign that it's the wrong size.
So she tells me she's going to go get some bras for me to try on, backs up and looks at me and says "you've got to be at least a DD, yes?". I confirm that I've been wearing a 34DD, but that I was only sized at VS...she professionally replied that "they size differently" lol
I'm not ashamed to admit that the fact that she looked at me and guessed a DD gave me a sense of hope that I wasn't losing a D...lol
So this lovely lady comes back with 12 bras that were quite pricey by 4 different designers, all in a 32DDD and I was like - Yeah, I don't think so!
Well, she stayed in there with me and fitted me into every one of those bras and to my complete astonishment, they fit PERFECTLY!!
I'm truly amazed and ecstatic!! I didn't lose a D, I gained one!! My true size is a 32DDD and I could not be happier!! I'm annoyed at myself, because it has occurred to me over the years that if I have to tighten the straps and wear the band on the last possible clasp, maybe I'd be better off in a 32, but like the idiot that I am, I never bothered to try a 32 band.

I'm keeping all of my recently acquired 34 DD bras, because they obviously fit as well, but the 32DDD obviously fits much better! I bought one of the bras that I was fitted for in Nordstrom and then went to VS to see if they had any of their bikini tops in the store since the VS in the mall is 5 times larger than the one near my house.
Tried on 32DDD and 34DD in the styles available in those sizes and the 32DDD fit better hands down, so actually bought a couple of bikini tops! Even found a bandeau that fit decently! Why am I 40 and just now realizing that I've been wearing the wrong band size my whole life??? Sheesh...

That's pretty much it...definitely the highlight of my day! Just goes to show that even 3 months out, the emotional ups and downs still haven't fully passed!
Hope all of you girls are doing well! :-) Xoxo

4 Month Update

Hello my girls!
I've passed my 4 month mark, so wanted to post an update...haven't had a chance to until now.
I saw my PS on 2/19 to address a concern I had about my breasts when laying down. I was trying to get a pic of what they looked like in that position and unfortunately took quite a bad one in my opinion and it threw me into a bit of a panic attack. I felt like they were falling too far off to the sides and I was convinced I was going to need a revision to correct it. I immediately scheduled an appointment with my PS, then became obsessed with taking more pics at that angle to see how bad it was. Honestly, I couldn't recreate the first pic to save my life, so I cancelled the appointment. Then Jillian from my doctor's office convinced me to reschedule and come see him to put my mind at ease, so I did.
I considered canceling that appointment every day leading up to it...I couldn't recreate it and felt silly panicking about it, but I'm glad I saw him.
So he laid me down flat and said they're behaving like normal breasts do...All breasts splay when a woman lays down and my implant is not a light one, it has weight to it. He also said that my pockets are soft and supple and that allows the implant to move around in them. He said he prefers a soft, supple pocket 10 times out of 10 over a small tight pocket, because no movement looks fake and also ups the risk of CC. He said they look and feel perfect and that other than my scars continuing to lighten, he doesn't think I'll see any change in shape or size at this point and that I'm at my final look.
I felt silly for bothering him with this, because I love them when I'm standing, sitting, etc...just panicked because I felt they fell too far towards my armpits, but he put my mind at ease.
Other than this breif moment of anxiety, I'm feeling good. I have full feeling back in both of my nipples, but at times it's a bit hypersensitive...especially the right one, so it's annoying. Not complaining though, because I know it'll subside and I'm just thrilled that I have feeling back! Still want to lose some weight that I've put on, so I'm working on that.

I have a serious bra and bathing suit obsession at the moment. Part of it is because it's fun to dress my new boobs lol...part of it is because I had to give all of my bras and bikini tops away. I had so many of both, that it traumatized me to have 0, so I've been shopping lol. I keep telling my husband that eventually the need will pass and the thrill will wear off...maybe? :-)

Hope all of my friends are doing well and enjoying their new girls! Love to you all!! Xoxo

Pics didn't upload

Omg, MORE bras!!

Ughhh...I think I seriously have a problem...I bought MORE bras!!

Sheesh...I can't be the only one with this problem, right? Will it every stop being fun dressing my new girls??? Lol

I'm almost 5 months post-op and I'm up somewhere around 30 bras now... and apparently nowhere near done :-)

Special shout out to Wehaveliftoff for putting me onto Nordstrom Rack...my hubby's mad at you lol!!

Hugs & kisses to all my girls!! Hope everyone is having fun dressing the ladies! Xoxo

7 months post-op

Hello beauties!
I hope everyone is doing well! It's been about 2 and a half months since my last update and thankfully there's not much to report.
A few weeks ago at 3am while laying in bed, I got some crazy sharp pains in my right breast....it still hurts now as I type, but not unless I touch it, or bump into that breast. If I run my finger along the top half of my areola, it hurts like hell! Literally the lightest touch hurts...feels like the top part of my areola is sliced open...my PS says its nerve growth/regeneration. There have actually been a few times where it has stopped hurting completely, then comes back, so I'm inclined to believe it's definitely related to nerves. It's annoying, but not unbearable and I'm hoping it will go away for good soon!
I'm eagerly awaiting the summer so I can put my girls in one of my new bikini tops and hit the beach!! I had my BA in October and so far, May is not cooperating, so it feels like I've been covered up forever!! I have a follow up appointment with my PS on 6/15 and I'm determined to have some tan lines by then lol
I heard on the news this morning that VS plans on discontinuing their swimsuit line...booooo!! I just placed a $300 swimsuit order on their site before heading over to RS...might as well get em while we can ;)
Lately my breasts look so teeny-tiny to me!! Is this because I'm used to them now?? They haven't shrunk at all, but all of a sudden they feel like pre-op size to me lol...ironically the one time they don't look tiny to me is when I try on bikini tops, so if the weather would cooperate and summer could get here already, I'll be good lol. I have definitely decided though that in the future when I eventually need to swap these out for a new pair, I am 100% positive I'll be going bigger. In the beginning they took some getting used to, but once I did I felt like they should have been bigger...sigh...are we ever 100% happy?? Having said that, I have come a long way from where I started from and having this surgery was totally worth it! I only wish I had done it sooner and saved myself years of insecurities in regards to my breasts.

I hope all my girls are doing well!! I am currently 8 months smoke free and still going strong! I have my PS to thank for that as well! :-)
Love to you all and I hope everyone has an amazing summer!!! Xoxo

For all my "Big Boob" girls!!

I had to share this pic with all of my fellow "Big Boob" girls!! Hope it makes you laugh like it did for me!
Hope everyone is doing well!! Will post an update soon! Xoxo
New York Plastic Surgeon

I could not have picked a better plastic surgeon than Dr.Kolker. From the very beginning, I have been well cared for by Dr.Kolker and his staff. He spent an enormous amount of time with my myself and my husband answering all of our questions during the consultation and was not pushy at all. I had constant access to him and to his staff during the 11weeks until my surgery date. Jillian, the Director of Patient Services is one of the sweetest, most knowledgeable and patient people I have ever met. She consistently got back to me about any of my concerns, or questions and put me at ease throughout this process. Stephanie, my nurse was wonderful and very attentive, even calling me several times after my procedure to check up on me. Dr.Kolker called me personally on a Sunday to answer a question after my procedure and proceeded to give me his personal cell phone number so that I could reach him if I had any other concerns. He also personally called me again a day later to check up on me and see how I was doing. His bedside manner is phenomenal and his aftercare is just as exceptional. I cannot say enough good things about Dr.Kolker and his staff. Not only do his credentials speak for themselves, he is extremely compassionate. I highly recommend him to anyone that is looking to have a top plastic surgeon perform their procedure, you will not be disappointed!

5 out of 5 stars Overall rating
5 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
5 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
5 out of 5 stars Wait times
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